Cultura

It’s Not News to Us

East Los Angel Hope Sandoval and Mazzy Star: ‘California’ (video)

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ZOMG! Comic Saenz’s girlfriend Hope Sandoval is back fronting Mazzy Star in this day-old video-less video California from an upcoming (September) release Seasons of Your Day. Saenz loves her immediately-recognizable smokey voice and encourages Ms. Sandoval to please forgive him for that one time at the Dal Rae in Pico Rivera.

White Hispanics: ‘Hey! We’re not ALL murderous douchebags’

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ronstadtbrown“White Hispanic” is one of mainstream media’s hottest new buzzwords, a term that has leaped off of old census forms and job applications to join the ranks of “twerking,” “3-D printing,” and “Death to Edward Snowden!”

The mainstream media needs to distinguish between different colors of Latinos because it was too polite to ask  “Why is Trayvon Martin’s killer, George Zimmerman, so… DARK for his name? And isn’t Aaron Hernandez, that allegedly trigger-happy New England Patriots player, a little… LIGHT for his?”

I guess I could be called a “White Hispanic,” as my dad’s from Colombia and my Yiddishe momme reps Brooklyn.  I really wish it didn’t take two high-profile killings to bring Latino-and-white people into the public eye, but Linda Ronstadt (photo) and Joan Baez aren’t making new albums and Little Ricky’s been off TV for a while.

Mas…White Hispanics: ‘Hey! We’re not ALL murderous douchebags’

The Pocho Ocho top favorite ways racists try to tell me off

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Screen Shot 2013-07-15 at 9.59.39 AMIt comes with the territory — when you tackle controversial issues you attract controversial responses.  Or, as I like to call it, Crackpot Racist Hate Mail From Right Wing Nut Jobs (CRHMFRWNJ for short.)

Some of the messages scrawled on paper bags in crayon (and blood?) are mailed to various newspapers around the country that publish La Cucaracha and/or my editorial cartoons.  Some post comments here on POCHO and assorted loons follow me from Twitter to Facebook to my blog to leave me droppings from their thought processes.  No one follows them around with pooper escoopers, so I’m stuck with what they call in the sewage industry “solid waste” — mierda for you pochos.

I spent maybe 10 or 20 minutes going through the folder on my Mac desktop named Love_Letters, and came up with this list of my Pocho Ocho favorite insults:

8. Go back to Africa!

Mas…The Pocho Ocho top favorite ways racists try to tell me off

Argentine band Poncho explores Mother Earth in ‘Tiki Tiki’ (video)

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“We set out on an adventure on foot together with a young man to find out more about the native flora and fauna of different Latin-American landscapes,” Argentinian band Poncho writes. “On the way, this young man discovers new plants and animals and becomes one with them, and meets a sexy Mother Earth goddess (Pachamama) with whom he falls in love.”

And from the other side of the moon, comes Chilean actress and singer Celine Raymond:

Mas…Argentine band Poncho explores Mother Earth in ‘Tiki Tiki’ (video)

Latinos in Hollywood? First of all, who are these so-called ‘Latinos?’

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lindanievespowellI disagree with Dennis Leoni.

In the POCHO article, he says this: “One more time, what do we need to do? BUILD OUR OWN MARKETPLACE!”

Here’s my take: It won’t work. It simply will not work. Why? Because the so-called “Latino” experience cannot be compared to the African-American experience in the United States. The “Latino” experience is different for each of us.

Latinos are culturally diverse. Yawn. Haven’t we heard this a million times already? Yet, it probably hasn’t really sunk in. A Mexican-American story will be different from a Puerto-Rican story, a Dominican story, a Colombian story, etc. It will also be different from a Mexican immigrant story, a Nuyorican story, an Ecuadorian/Irish story. Assimilation changes who we are. Migration changes who we are.

Mas…Latinos in Hollywood? First of all, who are these so-called ‘Latinos?’

Mijo: I like your new home, pero no fierro on the windows?

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craftsmanbigMijo:

I’m proud of you. This home is very big with hardwood floors, even in the kitchen! As you know, I prefer tile with a rosy color, como la cathedral in Zacatecas. The country kitchen is very impressive. It’s  not like any country kitchen como en mi rancho, but these are new times and a new country; And the abundance of wood paneling does look impressive. It is cedro? Still, how can you reclantar tortillas on an electric stove? Your ama is already confused by it. Y eso? To store wine? Pero tambien to store some Herradura? Esta cocina has windows everywhere! Have you thought about putting fierro on them?

Mas…Mijo: I like your new home, pero no fierro on the windows?

Breaking: ‘Devious Maids’ producer preps ‘Desperate Tontos’

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bigtonto(PNS reporting from HOLLYWOOD) Television producer Marc Cherry is developing a new series called Desperate Tontos, which is about four white actors donning even whiter makeup to play Native Americans. The series is seen as a comeback attempt following Cherry’s floundering Devious Maids series, which was a disastrous attempt to portray Latinas.

Cherry admits Maids took him a little out of his comfort zone as a writer. “I’m a white guy, and I should write what I know,” said Cherry. “And what I know is how to be a white man pimping other people’s cultures.”

Mas…Breaking: ‘Devious Maids’ producer preps ‘Desperate Tontos’

PDX resident loses street cred after Whole Foods Instagram snafu

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wholefoodshipster(PNS reporting from PORTLAND) Mario Rojas grew up in a tough Chicago barrio, but since he moved here for college he’s gotten soft, according his friends and family. His old street cred is gone, they worry, and he doesn’t resemble the Mario they used to know.

“He’s all into that hipster shit, organic and whatever, qué es eso? Organic ni nada, ponte a trabajar!” said Rojas’ father, Mario Sr., when contacted by PNS.

Eating a gluten-free alfalfa sprout and chevre cheese taco on an organic blue corn tortilla — and then getting tagged in an Instagram photo by his friend Maggie — didn’t helped Mario Jr.’s reputation either. Until the stylized photographic foul-up, Rojas kept his family in the dark by never sharing pictures of his newly-grown beard, clothes, or food preferences.

Mas…PDX resident loses street cred after Whole Foods Instagram snafu

Attention: It’s time to get real about Latino movie projects

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attentionhollywoodOkay, time for a reality check.

Despicable Me 2 made $59.5 million in its first two days of release. Do any of you seriously believe that Universal gives a flying fuck if Latinos are upset over the negative stereotyping of a Latino character ?

As my good friend Bob Eisele likes to say, “Here’s the situation…” THEY DON’T CARE. Please allow me to repeat that… THEY DON’T CARE.

We Latinos can yell, scream, jump up and down, stand on our heads, do somersaults and they still won’t care. The movie is on track to make hundreds of millions of dollars for Universal.

Year before last, Ron Meyer, the head of Universal Studios, spoke at a NALIP luncheon and told us to our faces that Universal doesn’t make Latino-themed or Latino-starred movies because Latinos don’t go to see them. And you know what? He’s right. Latinos are almost 40% of the all important opening day box office. Unfortunately, Latinos go to see Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Transformers, Star Trek, Star Wars, Iron Man, Batman, Spiderman, anything but Latino-themed movies. What’s the solution?

Mas…Attention: It’s time to get real about Latino movie projects

They were watching ‘Desafío Final 5,’ then this happened (video)

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David and Javi are just chilling, watching TV, Desafío Final 5 — Last Challenge 5, or maybe Desafío Final 4. And then everything got complicated, especially in Castillian Espanish! [GUIÓN Y DIRECCIÓN: Manuel Bartual. INTÉRPRETES: David Pareja, Javier Botet, Mireia Pérez, Xabi Tolosa, Aaron Rux, Lorena Iglesias, Julián Génisson. MÚSICA: Aaron Rux. AYUDANTE DE DIRECCIÓN: Alba Diethelm. ESTRENO: 19/12/2012.]

iNotRacist: Social media app keeps track of your non-racism (video)

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You’re not a racist. You open doors for African-Americans, you talk with the Latino guy behind the counter at lunch and you even make friends with that Asian guy at work, the crazy weird one on the fifth floor. But wouldn’t it be cool if you could get credit for all your non-racist activities? Check out iNotRacist — available soon for your iPhone.

Feliz Cuatro de Julio from MR. POCHO y Los Pochodores

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nailgreets

Sostenemos como evidentes por sí mismas dichas verdades: que todos los hombres son creados iguales; que son dotados por su Creador de ciertos derechos inalienables; que entre estos están la vida, la libertad y la búsqueda de la felicidad.   We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

 

And now, with the The Star Spangled Banner, El Mariachi Kid: Sebastien de la Cruz:

Mas…Feliz Cuatro de Julio from MR. POCHO y Los Pochodores

La Virgen de Guadalupe: ‘I’m too sexy for your cover!’ (toon)

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SEXYLUPELa Virgen de Guadalupe’s new Summer 2013 look — as seen on a recent cover of the Santa Fe Reporter — has gotten some people upset. Fox Latino reports:

“If your intent was to in effect slap Catholics across the face, by putting forth this public depiction of Our Lady as a party girl, during the very week that we honor her as our patroness, then I can only say that from my perspective, you succeeded,” wrote the Rev. Adam Lee Ortega y Ortiz, the rector of the Cathedral Basilica of St. Francis of Assisi in Santa Fe, in a letter to the editor. “I must voice my outrage and disgust at the decision to depict Our Lady of Guadalupe in such a demeaning manner. I am personally and professionally insulted by the cover.”

POCHO wants to confess, too! Mea culpa, Padre. We have sinned with some of our recent illustrations, like this one of the Virgin contemplating a pregnancy test:

Mas…La Virgen de Guadalupe: ‘I’m too sexy for your cover!’ (toon)

In Buenos Aires, look both ways before crossing the street (videos)

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Remember Capt. “Sully” Sullenberger who landed his airliner in New York’s Hudson River? Move over, bro. Flight AR 1304 is coming in for a landing at Parque de Palermo in downtown Buenos Aires! [Directed by Fernando Livschitz for Black Sheep Films.]

Here’s a reprise of another mind-blowing Buenos Aires vid from Livschitz we ran last year:

Mas…In Buenos Aires, look both ways before crossing the street (videos)

Around Our Town: Where to go, what to do this July 4

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FIREWORKS: Mission Pocho Viejo American Legion Post 536 once again presents their Annual Fireworks Extravagonzo Thursday at sunset. This year the pyrotechnics are sponsored by the Japanese-Mexican-American-owned Mexikosher in LA’s Pico-Robertson district. The show, America Such A Country, is a tribute to new Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti who is Jewish, Mexican AND Italian! Such a country! Moms: bring your blankets and sit the kids on the grass at Sotomayor Stadium. Dads: Do NOT bring your own fireworks.

INK AND DRINK: Two businesses in the El Rancho Pocho Downtown Historical District are getting together for a patriotic combo deal that’s hard to beat. Get any flag or patriotic tat at Inky Dinky’s House of Pain on Porciuncula Place Wednesday through Sunday and Inky will slide you a $10 pre-paid bar tab for the Loco Lounge next door. And guys, if you like thick chicks, you’ll love new tattoo artist Salma’s Fernando Botero-inspired portraits of your true hyna, right over your heart.

Mas…Around Our Town: Where to go, what to do this July 4

Big sound for small bucks with new iMex iPhone dock (video)

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Why pay big money to get the big sound your music deserves? The new iMex iPhone or iPod dock is easy to assemble, does not need weird Ikea wrenches, and is fabricated from recyclable and easily-replaceable components available wherever Mexicans are served. Also available for Android! Sorry, Redmondites — a Windows 8 version has encountered difficulty with integration of the Clippy function, but look for a Win version in 2014.

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