“Do you know why you were arrested?” the Mexican cops asked just-busted Knights Templar narco gangster jefe La Tuta. “I was the leader of a bunch of pendejos,” he replied.
El Now
It’s News to Us!
Thousands flee as Chile’s Villarrica volcano erupts violently (video)
Lava, ash and molten rock spewed thousands of feet into the air in a series of massive explosions at the Villarrica volcano in southern Chile Tuesday.
POCHO Poetry Corner: Chicano Love and Barrio Streets
A rose grows among the cracked sidewalks, of
the tear stained barrio streets, where happiness
is a luxury and can easily be lost forever. While
deep in their thoughts a young Chicano couple
are falling in love.
A painting of the Virgin looks down upon streets
which are so far from heaven, yet not so far away,
from hell. Young men strut like roosters, each
wanting to rule for the day, while their women
willingly look to sell their soul for the poison
which temporarily takes the pain away.
BREAKING: Sean Penn set for Cesar Chavez keynote speech
(PNS reporting from MALIBU) Sean Penn will deliver the keynote address at the City of San Jose’s annual Cesar Chavez Day celebration March 31, friends of the actor say. The ceremony honors the late Mexican-American icon and civil rights leader on his birthday.
Penn told dinner companions here Tuesday night that he plans to open the speech at the San Jose Civic Center with some humorous anecdotes.
TV crew records purple OVNI/UFO hovering over Lima, Peru (videos)
A TV production crew in Lima, Peru, has videotaped a purple disc-shaped OVNI/UFO hovering near a construction site.
Television show Alto al Crimen was shooting an episode in the upscale Miraflores district on February 10, when the show’s host, Congressman Renzo Reggiardo, stopped an interview to allow his cameraman to shoot the strange-looking object:
Mas…TV crew records purple OVNI/UFO hovering over Lima, Peru (videos)
Disneyland preps new WE ❤️ MEASLES marketing push
(PNS reporting from ANAHEIM) Disneyland’s new WE ❤️ MEASLES marketing campaign intends to “pro-actively go where the customers are” by turning “lemons into lemonade,” PNS has learned.
Rain can’t stop Carnaval in Rio de Janeiro (video)
Rio de Janeiro’s Carnaval parade was still spectacular Sunday despite a tropical deluge that soaked thousands of spectators, as well as feather-clad samba dancers and musicians.
Texas Senator Ted Cruz’ Pocho Ocho top legislative proposals
Senator Ted Cruz (R-Texas) has reintroduced legislation to take away federal benefits from same-sex married couples. But this troglodyte’s penedjitis is too advanced to stop at one stupid and hateful idea.
That’s right, there’s more — Ted Cruz’s Pocho Ocho Top Legislative Priorities for 2015:
8. Federal guidelines on subsidized school lunches for poor children shall encourage incorporation of nutritious roadkill meat, especially racoon. Now yer ‘coon is a touch on the greasy side, not sweet like ‘possum, but if you cook ’em up right, mmmmmmm, racoon!
7. Women banned from buying condoms because it curtails a Man’s Right to Reproduce.
6. Solar energy outlawed because it sucks the light right out of the Sun.
Mas…Texas Senator Ted Cruz’ Pocho Ocho top legislative proposals
Pocho Ocho top rules Republicans think you should be able to ignore
Citing the burden of compliance with “big government,” Senator Thom Tills (R-North Carolina) (photo) would let restaurants “opt out” of regulations requiring employees to wash their hands before returning to work.
This isn’t the only rule Tills would eliminate, and he isn’t the only Republican with this opinion. These are the Pocho Ocho top rules the GOP thinks we should ignore:
8. I before E, except after C
7. Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself
6. Mind the gap
Mas…Pocho Ocho top rules Republicans think you should be able to ignore
WTF is it? A horse-shaped UFO/OVNI hovers over Colima volcano (video)
Either a giant horse or a UFO/OVNI shaped like a giant horse appeared suddenly over Mexico’s Colima volcano last week.
“WTF is going on?” asked Britain’s Daily Mail:
- Collecting samples for your home planet?
- Dark UFO resembling a flying horse is caught on film hovering by erupting Mexican volcano
- Object was spotted close to volcano Colima located in western Mexico
- Appeared to have two legs and came into view out of nowhere
- Witness said it looked like a ‘horse’ with a ‘very large body’
- Authorities said it is most likely a drone – they are currently investigating
PREVIOUSLY ON COLIMA VOLCANO:
Mas…WTF is it? A horse-shaped UFO/OVNI hovers over Colima volcano (video)
Pocho Ocho top things people blame on El Chupacabra (videos)
Johnny Depp couldn’t just cop to being a day late to the Japanese press conference. No, this wannabe Tonto had to blame his tardy-ass rudeness on an attack by a cruel and vicious Mexican — El Chupacabra (video, above). And the interpreter and the reporters are all like jajaja WTF but in Japanese. Johnny Depp ≠ Bill Murray in Japan, apparently.
But El Deppo wasn’t the first to blame his own bads on this famous Mexican monster. Here are the Pocho Ocho top things people blame on El Chupacabra:
8. The chupacabra ate my homework … AND MY DOG!
7. Sorry for the mess. A chupacabra went through my dirty clothes hamper and left all my chonies in piles on the floor.
6. But Your Honor! I was just estanding on the corner minding my own business when El Chupacabra ran by and handed me that iPhone 6!
Mas…Pocho Ocho top things people blame on El Chupacabra (videos)
Not your Auntie’s Girl Scouts: Meet Oakland’s Radical Brownies (video)
They’re young, they’re determined and they’re not about the cookies. Meet the newly-organized Radical Brownies of Oakland, CA.
FUSION’s Jorge Rivas explains:
Mas…Not your Auntie’s Girl Scouts: Meet Oakland’s Radical Brownies (video)
Mexican volcano video way more dramatic with orchestral strings
If you’re going to upload a Mexican volcano webcam video of Colima exploding on January 21, be sure to add tension and release with a dramatic soundtrack featuring orchestral string and horn sections.
Srsly! Check out the same volcano-cam video uploaded by news channel RUPTLY without the music:
Mas…Mexican volcano video way more dramatic with orchestral strings
