Pocho Ocho top things people blame on El Chupacabra (videos)

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Johnny Depp couldn’t just cop to being a day late to the Japanese press conference. No, this wannabe Tonto had to blame his tardy-ass rudeness on an attack by a cruel and vicious Mexican — El Chupacabra (video, above). And the interpreter and the reporters are all like jajaja WTF but in Japanese. Johnny Depp ≠ Bill Murray in Japan, apparently.

But El Deppo wasn’t the first to blame his own bads on this famous Mexican monster. Here are the Pocho Ocho top things people blame on El Chupacabra:

8. The chupacabra ate my homework … AND MY DOG!

7. Sorry for the mess. A chupacabra went through my dirty clothes hamper and left all my chonies in piles on the floor.

6. But Your Honor! I was just estanding on the corner minding my own business when El Chupacabra ran by and handed me that iPhone 6!

Mas…Pocho Ocho top things people blame on El Chupacabra (videos)

What are America’s Pocho Ocho Top Brownest Jobs?

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whitejobsfThe Atlantic analyzed the stats and guess what!? Some professions in the United Estates are positively teeming with white people — jobs like veterinarian, espeech sangwich pathologist and meelrye (chart excerpt, above).

Hurm, we said, perhaps we can fabricate a similar list of America’s brownest jobs.

“So let it be written, so let it be done!” said Pharoah, another white dude. And we did. Here’s our list of America’s Pocho Ocho Top Brownest Jobs:

8. Piñata Fluffer

7. Chief Cleavage Officer for Spanish Language TV Network News Division

6. Tia Guadalupe Gutierrez Santa Maria de Los Angeles y Zacatecas

Mas…What are America’s Pocho Ocho Top Brownest Jobs?

Elise @Buttronica Roedenbeck: Do computers zap our creativity? (video)

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elisecomputerMiJA Elise Roedenbeck, formerly a professional geek*, wonders if computers make our brains less creative. Since half of Elise’ cabeza is exposed to Mutant Moon Rays from Outer Espace synergistically multiplied by the Reality Distortion Field generated by her MacBook Pro, it was urgent she get an answer as quickly as possible. In this case, it took her only 3:03.

PRO TIP: Elise’s high tech screen name on the Twitter is @buttronica, so you know she’s right, especially when POCHO Migrant Editor Al Madrigal shows up on her list as #1 most creative comedian. 🙂

Here’s Buttronica’s video:

Mas…Elise @Buttronica Roedenbeck: Do computers zap our creativity? (video)

Germany’s ‘Mexican’ thrill ride has its ups and downs (video)

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Auf Deutschland, thrill-seekers experience authentic pre-Columbian Mexico with every Talocan thrill ride at Phantasialand, the gigantor theme park in Brühl, North Rhine-Westphalia. [Beer and wurst slightly wurstier east of the Seine. Fire and water included. Earth and wind available at extra charge. Ask your cartel liason about extra-judicial disappearances and Aztec sacrifices.]

Watch the ‘Smooth Criminal’ salsa version you crowdfunded

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Peruvian-born percussionist and wannabe record producer Tony Succar heard a dream that included a salsa-style big band fronted by Boricua singer Jean Valdez performing Michael Jackson’s Smooth Criminal, a dream you could help him realize if you would only please please CLICK HERE TO DONATE $10,000 on his crowdfunding website. And you did, so here you go! People who like this kind of thing will probably like this kind of thing.

Watch: Moms in Peru punk sexist street harassers (video)

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Fed up with ignorant cat-calls, lewd, rude and suggestive remarks from sexist men on the street, women in Lima set up hidden cameras and — dressed up as “MILFs” — went for a stroll down the calle…walking right by their ignorant, lewd, rude and suggestive…WAIT FOR IT…sons.

What are you doing? What am I doing? Be careful out there!

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sanclementetags“What are you doing?” I asked the teenage boy who was gleefully tagging a repainted space at Santiago Park in Santa Ana. Alarmed, he jumped down the small ledge to look up at the bridge where I was standing.

Others emerged from beneath the bridge to see where the stranger’s voice was coming from. There were probably five or ten of them altogether.

They looked so fresh-faced, ranging in age from perhaps 15 to the early 20s. A young adult with shoulder-length crimped hair appeared to be a leader. He wore a wide grin on his face.

A wave of sadness and great disappointment washed over me. These kids belonged in a boy band, or on a soccer team, or part of a visionary group that would put a person on Mars. Instead they were misusing their talents and potential to deface public property.

Mas…What are you doing? What am I doing? Be careful out there!

The sad true story behind ‘Spare Parts’ (videos, audio)

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In 2004, an Arizona high school team beat the odds by topping M.I.T in an underwater robotics competition. The undocumented team members’ stories inspired a book, a documentary, and now a feature film produced by and starring George Lopez. Spare Parts (trailer, above) is in theaters now.

This interview with two original team members by Antonia Cereijido for LatinoUSA explains what REALLY happened before and after the events dramatized in the film. Is it our imagination, or does one of the guys almost break into tears at the end?

Mas…The sad true story behind ‘Spare Parts’ (videos, audio)

Ask A Mexican: Here’s an idea – Learn to love hipsters (NSFW video)

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In between the Mexican curse words, Gustavo Arellano has a modest proposal: Learn to love your local hipster and/or chipster. We’re still trying to figure out what and who ¡Asked A Mexican! That cartoon, though! [NSFW adult language.]

CHIPSTERS?

Are you a Chipster (Chicano + hipster)? There are Pocho Ocho ways to tell. You might be a Chipster if…

Mas…Ask A Mexican: Here’s an idea – Learn to love hipsters (NSFW video)

Pocho Ocho top reasons Obama’s State of the Union gave us a sad

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barackonDespite the his many significant accomplishments and chingon new proposals, we were disappointed by what President Obama didn’t say at Tuesday night’s State of the Union address.

Here are the Pocho Ocho top reasons Obama’s SOTU gave us a sad:

8. Still no federal funding for Flying Trocas research.

7. Didn’t announce plan to make Ted Cruz first U.S. ambassador to Cuba.

6. No tax cuts for tamale entrepreneurs, thus no Pedro Herrera III in the audience to give a shout out to.

Mas…Pocho Ocho top reasons Obama’s State of the Union gave us a sad

#TBT Throwback Thursday Frank Zappa ‘Cucaracha’ (1970s audio)

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zappaESTRANGE BUT TRUE:

It was the tail end of the 1960s and Frank Zappa of the Mothers of Invention was making Public Service Announcements for “underground radio.” Few examples survive, but this short audio segment warns impressionable young people about a popular Chicano-themed cartoon that had not even been invented yet — a subversive cartoon that could “rot your mind!” Let’s listen in to see what Zappa has to say…

 

 

Out of F-bombs, Foo Fighter Dave Grohl puts ‘Chile Olé’ in a song

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At a concert in Chile last week, Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters ran out of F-bombs to drop on stage, so he turned the adoring crowd’s Chile Olé chant into a new song. [NSFW F-bombs.] H/t Remezcla.

PRO TIP FOR ROCK AND ROLL CONCERT PROMOTERS

WHO WANT TO BOOK THE FOO FIGHTERS:

THE BAND IS VERY PARTICULAR ABOUT ITS MEXICAN FOOD REQUIREMENTS,

SO READ THIS TOUR “CONTRACT RIDER” CAREFULLY!

Mas…Out of F-bombs, Foo Fighter Dave Grohl puts ‘Chile Olé’ in a song

Heavy Rain to Hit Houston, Texas, Thursday, January 22, 2015 (video)

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frankieHere’s Thursday’s weather forecast for Houston, Texas, via Nova Scotia, Canadia, provided by Internetz Weather Expert FRANKIE:

Heavy Rain is on its way for Houston Texas on Thursday January 22, 2015 and it will bring 30+ mm of rain and the Heaviest Rain will be in Southeastern Texas Including Houston and Galveston and the Center of the Low Pressure System is Heading into the Gulf of Mexico that will cause a lot of Rain in Houston Texas and the Surrounding Areas and it will be a lot of Rain in Southeastern Texas Including Houston and it will bring Windy Conditions and the Thursday will not be a good day to Head to the Beach in Galveston Texas and it will bring Windy Conditions in Houston Texas and the Surrounding Areas and People in Houston Texas Be Prepared have your Rubber Boots, Rain Coats and Rain Suits Ready and when you are walking Wear your Rain Gear, Rubber Boots and Rain Coats to keep you Dry and have your Umbrella Ready and Don’t Walk Through the Puddles and Avoid the Puddles when you are going for a walk and it will be Very Wet Conditions in Southeastern Texas Including Houston on Thursday January 22, 2015 and it will Not be a Good Day to Head down to the Beach to Go Swimming in Galveston Texas and Order your Pizzas and Chinese Food and Buy cases of Pepsi and Coke and have your iPads, iPods, Cell Phones, Laptops and Tablets Charged and have your 3G and 4G Internet Ready since it will be Very Wet and Rainy down in Houston Texas on Thursday and if you have anybody living in Houston Texas Be Prepared for the Heavy Rain on Thursday January 22, 2015 Take Care and Stay Safe and Don’t Get Caught in the Heavy Rain Stay Dry and Be Safe.

Expect these Pocho Ocho surprises in tonight’s State of the Union

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obamabackWashington insiders all know tonight’s State of the Union address — like every one before — will bring a few surprises.

We asked around town, and our peeps say these are the top eight to watch for:

8. First use of the Booger-Cam™ captures candid live video of bored Republicans

7. Warmup act Oprah Winfrey to Congress: “You get a drone…and you get a drone. Everybody gets a drone!”

6. Obama cruises to the Capitol in a clean 1953 Packard limousine, a gift from the people of Cuba

Mas…Expect these Pocho Ocho surprises in tonight’s State of the Union

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