Pocho Ocho top questions asked before joining a Mexican cartel
Kids these days know they have options and they want to make smart choices — and not only kids in the United Estates.
These are the Pocho Ocho top questions wannabe gangsters ask before joining a Mexican cartel:
8. Will beheading be on the final exam?
7. Soy vegetariano — is heart-eating mandatory?
6. Do I need to supply my own botas picudas?
Mas…Pocho Ocho top questions asked before joining a Mexican cartel
Video of Federales vs. gang battle shows round metallic UFO/OVNI
That awkward moment when you review footage of a January 6 encounter between gangsters and Federales in Michoacan and you notice a spherical, metallic OVNI/UFO hovering overhead.
Area woman looks forward to mediocre, less-ambitious 2015
(PNS reporting from HOUSTON) After careful consideration, local woman Estela Zamora, 28, is aiming to be less ambitious in 2015.
“Turns out the ‘American Dream’ doesn’t mean to aim for the stars, but rather, right under the stars, where it’s safe and there’s more company,” Zamora told PNS Sunday.
“I’m just tired of getting flack for aiming too damn high!”
Mas…Area woman looks forward to mediocre, less-ambitious 2015
Nothing to kill or die for: #CharlieHebdo editorial meeting (2006 video)
The New York Times was in Paris in 2006 and video’d an editorial meeting at Charlie Hebdo magazine, as the staff brain-stormed a special Mohammed issue.
Pat Boone sings ‘Speedy Gonzales, Why Don’t You Come Home?’ (video)
America’s favorite nice clean young white boy, Pat Boone, had a 1962 hit with this love-sick appeal to our hero, Mexico’s fastest mouse. “Speedy Gonzales, Why Don’t You Come Home?” he asks.
In this video, a fan mashes up a Warner Bros. Speedy cartoon with Boone’s music.
Speedy, of course, is voiced by the great Mel Blanc.
Mas…Pat Boone sings ‘Speedy Gonzales, Why Don’t You Come Home?’ (video)
Mexican ex-pats bring ‘passionate Latino culture’ to Shanghai
They’re young. They’re go-getters. English-speaking Mexican ex-patriots living in Chinas’s financial center — Shanghai — share “Latino passion” and tacos with China TV’s Shi Wen Jing. “Chinese,” we learn, “is hard.”
How to make a ‘Mexican Nazi’ in 1:03 (video)
It’s easy to make a Mexican Nazi. But drink responsibly — we don’t want to see you trying to start your Chevy Nova later tonight.
Yo Dawg: I heard you hate people drawing your prophet (toon)
[Editor’s note: An earlier version of this story included a Norman Rockwell spoof from 2010’s “Draw Mohammed Day.” With the death of the cartoon killers in Paris, we decided to replace the cartoon with an image that may or may not be a target. #satirematters]
PREVIOUSLY ON MOCKING PROPHETS AND SAINTS:
Mas…Yo Dawg: I heard you hate people drawing your prophet (toon)
Ask A Mexican: Why do Mexicans OVER-PRONOUNCE Spanish? (videos)
Gustavo ¡Ask A Mexican! Arellano is always ready with answers to your preguntas:
Mas…Ask A Mexican: Why do Mexicans OVER-PRONOUNCE Spanish? (videos)
You white people sure ‘Love You Some Indians!’ (video)
Everybody in Cleveland sure Loves You Some Indians, says Navajo poet Rowie Shebala. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, doncha know. We’re honoring your culture.
Official Report: La Migra’s border drone results not on fleek (videos)
The Department of Homeland Security Inspector General may not have the sad, exactly, but his end-of-2014 report on border-patrolling drones was not very happy.
Tio Sam, the Inspector General recommended, should spend his Migra-Industrial Complex money somewhere else. More drones are not on fleek, the report concluded.
The LexisNexis newsroom pulled this quote from the report:
U.S. Customs and Border Protection’s Unmanned Aircraft System Program Does Not Achieve Intended Results or Recognize All Costs of Operations
Although CBP’s Unmanned Aircraft System program contributes to border security, after 8 years, CBP cannot prove that the program is effective because it has not developed performance measures.
Mas…Official Report: La Migra’s border drone results not on fleek (videos)
HOW IS THIS APPROPRIATE? Frank Zappa: You are what you is (video)
Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention tested the limits of free expression and racial taboos in this 1984 music video for You Are What You Is. The hippie-light-show-solarized extravaganza features a harmonica-playing Ronald Reagan, dancing African “natives,” scantily-clad ladies (sexy nurse? sexy stewardess?) and the N-word. It’s all inappropriate and it’s offensive and rude. It’s nothing but things nice people don’t say. And it’s all true. We’ve got lyrics:
Do you know what you are?
You are what you is
You is what you am
(A cow don’t make ham…)
You ain’t what you’re not
So see what you got
You are what you is
An’ that’s all it ’tis
Mas…HOW IS THIS APPROPRIATE? Frank Zappa: You are what you is (video)
From @LaloAlcaraz: The pen > the sword #charliehebdo
I just drew this on a flight to Houston. #charliehebdo. Please share.
New GOP-controlled Congress’ Pocho Ocho top policy priorities
The GOP-controlled Senate and 114th Congress got to work Tuesday (photo, above) and the Republicans were quick to announce their plans for America.
Here are their Pocho Ocho top policy priorities:
8. No tax cut left behind
7. Read my lips: No new Mexis
6. All about the race
Mas…New GOP-controlled Congress’ Pocho Ocho top policy priorities
Chicano Batman: Lost in ‘Cycles of Existential Rhyme’ (video)
So Cal homies Chicano Batman lay down a soulful groove and tell an eternal story in Cycles of Existential Rhyme. [POCHO amigo Giovanni Solis produced and directed the just-released video.]
Mexican ski patrol spots El Bigfoot climbing Popocatepetl (video)
A Mexican mountain rescue team has photographed giant creatures climbing the slopes of Popocatepetl faster than humanly possible.
Mas…Mexican ski patrol spots El Bigfoot climbing Popocatepetl (video)
The Pocho Ocho craziest cosas we found in the Rosca de Reyes
Today is Three Kings Day, Dia de Los Reyes Magos, AKA Epiphany, the day when Los Tres Reyes dropped by the manger to gift up the original Anchor Baby, El Baby Jesus.
Check out the Pocho Ocho Craziest Things we found in the Rosca de Reyes here at the POCHO world headquarters:
8. Rosca’s Chicken and Waffles
7. One long black hair
6. Hot new Kanye West musical discovery “Paul McCarthy”
Mas…The Pocho Ocho craziest cosas we found in the Rosca de Reyes
Mexican Word of the Day: ‘Chicken Wing’ (video)
Ruben Trevino and little Alex practice the Mexican Word of the Day: “Chicken Wing.”
Bandido learns the hard way: ‘El Terror’ stalks Sonora (video)
It’s already a bad day for El Bandido in the scorching hot Sonoran desert, but bad turns to worse when he decides to mess with a four-year-old niña. PRO TIP: Never make El Terror angry. [Video by Franco E.]
DJ for Juárez Catholic radio massages migrants’ feet (audio)
Migrants seeking a better life in El Norte often pause on the border across from El Paso — in Ciudad Juárez, Chihuahua — before they cross to El Otro Lado.
Jorge Gutierrez, a host on Radio Guadalupana, a religious station run by the Catholic Diocese of Juárez, is there for them. More than just a radio talker, he has put his faith (and hands) to work easing migrants’ pain. Public Radio International reports:
Feet are a symbolic part of practically every migrant’s story: They literally carry their owner’s weight along the length of an exhausting journey. And in the Mexican border city of Juárez, one man has made it his mission to care for this particular body part.
Here’s the radio report from Monica Oritz Uribe:
Mas…DJ for Juárez Catholic radio massages migrants’ feet (audio)
R. Crumb 1970: Mr. Natural’s 719th Meditation (video)
Mr. Natural’s 719th Meditation by R. Crumb was first published as a comic in 1970. Crumb created ZAP Comix and is the artist behind 60s and 70s memes like Mr. Natural, Fritz the Cat, and Keep On Truckin. This new YouTube version of the strip adds music and sound effects.
Copy and save this image to repost on Facebook (toon)
When the bullshit on Facebook becomes too much, a picture is worth 1000 words. Next time someone posts the worthless “Facebook Privacy Notice,” or warns about the bull semen in energy drinks or that Obama’s power-mad bureaucrats have outlawed sprinkles on ice cream cones, post this meme/image based on a painting by Norman Rockwell. Or look this shit up on Snopes.com. Or both.
Also, when you see this notice at the bottom of EVERY SINGLE STORY marked PNS here on POCHO, jeez, pay some attention:
Pocho Ñews Service PNS is a wholly-fictitious subsidiary of the Pocho Corporation, who is a person according to the Supreme Court. Don’t ask us, we just work here.
This is how we partied on New Year’s – how about you? (video)
Cleaning up afterwards was a drag, though.
2015 Notice of Legal Counsel: Contact Sanchez Bros Attorney-at-Law
This legal notice designating an Attorney of Record is herewith, hereby and homeboy published, January 2, 2015, September 12 2014, August 2 2013, March 15 2012, May 29 2012, and August 31 2012 and some other days tambien pursuant the requirements of the Aztlan Judicical Unity Act (AJUA) of 1997.
For any y all legal matters pertaining to Pochismo, Inc., DBA POCHO and POCHO DOT COM, please contact
Attorney-At-Law Sanchez Bros, Pocho City, CA @ 408-POCHO-28.
