NorCal school hires private dick, expels 7-year-old Latina *UPDATED

orinda

* UPDATE: School officials in Orinda have reversed their decision, according to the ContraCosta Times.  

********

In the true spirit of the season, the Orinda, California School Board has gone after the most egregious criminal in their school.

How did the Northern California district know this 7-year-old chica (screen cap from Merky News) was a law breaker? Well, they probably just suspected it at first, since she was one of a few brown-skinned Latina children in the overwhelmingly white elementary school. Then they hired a private investigator.

Profiles in courage!

Yes, this vicious scofflaw had the nerve to attend school with her second grade friends in the same neighborhood she lives in nearly all of the week, as the daughter of a local live-in nanny.

Mas…NorCal school hires private dick, expels 7-year-old Latina *UPDATED

Pocho Ocho rudest vanity license plates refused by the DMV

cagovYour California Department of Motor Vehicles has standards, you know, and not every request for a personalized/vanity license plate can be accommodated, even though they still hope you’ll like them on Facebook. It’s not personal, dude, no hard feelings. K?

“Welcome to the Department of Motor Vehicles’ office of vanity plates,” SFGate.com esplains, “where three full-time state employees review some 90,000 applications for personalized license plates each year and, citing poor taste, turn down thousands.”

Here’s our list of the Pocho Ocho rudest vanity plate requests declined by the DMV:

Mas…Pocho Ocho rudest vanity license plates refused by the DMV

Crime to cross the line? ‘Dame Agua, Give Me Water’ (music video)


A nameless man — let’s call him Juan Doe — dies in the desert near the border, and this musical fragment is his song: Dame Agua from Eric Holland.

If you like this song, Eric asks you donate whatever you can to organizations that support immigrants and he especially likes Humane Borders/Fronteras Compasivas.

Also we made a big long list of non-profit orgs that could use some cash support:

Mas…Crime to cross the line? ‘Dame Agua, Give Me Water’ (music video)

Pope: ‘Quakes are message from God: Let there be gay’

popebylalocropped (PNS reporting from VATICAN CITY) The recent earthquakes in Southern California are a message from God, according to Pope Francis. The Almighty, he told a visiting delegation of American Catholics Monday, will shake things up until they are more gay.

“Lord knows this mortal world needs some bright flashes of color that aren’t suicide bomb explosions in crowded markets,” the Pontiff said.”And maybe some marigold-print cafe curtains in that drab nook over there.”

Mas…Pope: ‘Quakes are message from God: Let there be gay’

‘To the Bone’ explores the lives of migrant farmworkers (video)


A pre-teen migrant farmworker attempts to rebel against the status quo with unintended consequences for herself and her family. Both a coming-of-age story and a window into the world of child migrant farmworkers in the U.S., To the Bone is an intimate film about one family that represents the struggles of so many. Starring Naomie Feliu, Jaime Alvarez, Carlos C. Torres, Maria Elena Laas, Eliezer Ortiz. Directed by Erin Li.

There’s a map for that: Best foods in every state (infographic)

bigfoodmap Here’s an idea. Let’s decide what is the best food in each of the United Estates and make a big infographic.

What? Is that the voice of (Day of the) Dead Steve Jobs? What’s that, Steve? There’s a map for that?

Coming in at Numero Tres is a puro Califas burrito, known to non-locals as a “Misson Burrito.” Yes, I’m on a mission — I want a carne asada burrito ahorita:

burrito

New Mexico gets in the Top Ten with a stacked enchilada with green (Hatch, natch) chile:

Mas…There’s a map for that: Best foods in every state (infographic)

Califas will issue driver’s licenses to the undocumented

cdlFox Latino, which puts “undocumented” in their headline but “illegal” in their story, reports:

California, home to the nation’s largest immigrant population, would become the 11th state to grant immigrants who are in the country illegally [sic] the right to a driver’s license under a bill that passed the Legislature late Thursday and that Gov. Jerry Brown supports.

The success of the legislation comes after years of setbacks for Democratic lawmakers and Latino activists.

The state Assembly approved the bill on a 55-19 vote late in the evening, hours after the Senate passed it on a 28-8 vote. The Democratic governor issued a statement indicating he would sign it into law.

Pocho Ocho other smartphone alerts besides Amber Alerts

amberalertThe Golden State’s smartphone users were startled late Monday night and early Tuesday morning as their phones buzzed, beeped and/or flashed an Amber Alert, the very first issued by the California Highway Patrol.

The Los Angeles Times reports:

It’s all thanks to the Wireless Emergency Alert program, a cellphone version of the Emergency Alert System that gives you the high-pitched test tone on your television.

Cellphone owners receive messages automatically, based on their proximity to the emergency, not based on their phone number.

And while accused kidnapper James Lee DiMaggio and kidnap victims Hannah Anderson, 16, and Ethan Anderson, 8, are still missing, cellphone owners have found that their iPhones, Androids and BlackBerries have the potential to issue alerts for all sorts of things.

Here are the Pocho Ocho potential alerts you probably weren’t aware of:

8. The Meta Amber Alert: Another Amber Alert is coming soon, so don’t freak the hell out

7. Like A Good Neighbor Alert: George Zimmerman just joined your Neighborhood Watch

6. Stinking Badges Alert: Sheriff Joe Arpaio is rounding up a posse

Mas…Pocho Ocho other smartphone alerts besides Amber Alerts

Breaking: Napolitano brings harsh border enforcement to UC

napolitano600(PNS reporting from BERKELEY) Department of Homeland Security Secretary (and former Arizona Governor) Janet Napolitano has accepted an offer to head up the University of California system.

Napolitano promised to do the same for the UC system that she did for the border during her time at DHS:

“I kept out and quashed as many Mexicans as any DHS Secretary could during my tenure, and now that Latinos are overtaking whites in California, I promise to do the same at the UC system,” she said in a statement.

Mas…Breaking: Napolitano brings harsh border enforcement to UC

Breaking: Rick Perry moving West: ‘Let’s turn Cali red!’

rickperryreelection(PNS reporting from AUSTIN) Rick Perry told a crowd of press and supporters here Monday that he will not seek another term as Texas governor when his term expires in 18 months.

Instead, the longest-serving governor in Texas’ history said he was going to do the unthinkable: move to California to turn the state back into a Republican stronghold.

“Now that Democrats have set their sights on Texas, I want to return the favor and head to the Golden State and bring a brand of compassionate conservatism that ruled the state in the good ol’ days,” the  former GOP presidential nominee wannabe said.

Mas…Breaking: Rick Perry moving West: ‘Let’s turn Cali red!’

Pocha Podcast: WTF is up with these catcalls? (NSFW audio)

POCHO’s Subcommandanta del Ñews Sara Inés Calderón in Los Angeles and New Jack City Burro Jefe Elise Roedenbeck got together in audioland to see if they could figure out WTF is up with guys and their weird catcalls and come-ons. Is it different in New York vs. L.A.? Are Spanish catcalls different from English? What’s a guera to do?

Ooops! This audio file seems to be missing! The authorities have been notified.

Hooray! We found a cached copy on Archive.org. Download the POCHA PODCAST here (5.1MB MP3)