Narco corridos are so over! El Chapo has a narco juego (video)


Was it inevitable? Nevertheless, here it is: El Chapo Fat ‘n’ Furious, a new smartphone video game.

We’ll let the creators tell the story:

In a 16-bits graphic vintage style, which perfectly syncs to the shifted-tone gameplay, the player finds himself in the shoes of El Chapo on the day of his escape. As he gets on his bike the mad rush begins!

Mas…Narco corridos are so over! El Chapo has a narco juego (video)

Pocho Ocho most amazing facts behind El Chapo’s daring escape

elchapomugshotThe daring prison escape of Mexican drug lord El Chapo Guzman Saturday has raised many questions. Why Saturday? Who dug the tunnel? How did they do it? How did they hide?

Here are Pocho Ocho Most Amazing Facts Behind El Chapo’s Escape we’ve unearthed so far:

8. Shoutout to Uber de Mexico for the fast pickup!

7. Strategic rest areas every 200 meters stocked with Red Bull and Takis

6. Extra guys at Home Depot got lucky that day

Mas…Pocho Ocho most amazing facts behind El Chapo’s daring escape

Pocho Ocho top questions asked before joining a Mexican cartel

narcobandKids these days know they have options and they want to make smart choices — and not only kids in the United Estates.

These are the Pocho Ocho top questions wannabe gangsters ask before joining a Mexican cartel:

8. Will beheading be on the final exam?

7. Soy vegetariano — is heart-eating mandatory?

6. Do I need to supply my own botas picudas?

Mas…Pocho Ocho top questions asked before joining a Mexican cartel

PETA: Quinoa vs chia cartel wars hurt Fido, Fluffy over Christmas

fidofluffy2(PNS reporting from AUSTIN) Fido and Fluffy have become collateral damage in the war between the rival QuinoaTraficante and ChiaTraficante agricultural cartels.

Recent attacks on Mexican chia seed production — apparently at the hands of rival-cartel-affiliated quinoa growers — have left thousands of local seed-deprived Chia Pets cold, shivering and hairless this Yuletide season, Texas People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) told PNS.

PETA said this includes Fido and Fluffy, of Barton Creek, pictured (above) in the organization’s latest Web ad.

Mas…PETA: Quinoa vs chia cartel wars hurt Fido, Fluffy over Christmas

Grand OM: ‘FOR THOSE’ who protested, for those they arrested (video)


This song and video is FOR THOSE, for those 43 kids who were “disappeared” in Mexico. It was filmed at their college, Rural Normal School Ayotzinapa, in Guerrero. Participants in the project, organized by graphic artists Grand OM, were musicians Lengualerta (México), Wally Warning (Aruba-Alemania), Ana Sol (Argentina), Dj Saeg (México) and Eduardo Morris (Argentina-Suiza). There’s more on their YouTube page.

There’s an audio version, too:

Mas…Grand OM: ‘FOR THOSE’ who protested, for those they arrested (video)

Good news? Gold tops cocaine as Peru’s top illegal export (video)


Peru, the world’s largest producer of cocaine, has a new booming illicit business: gold, according to FUSION:

Illegal gold mining has surged in the South American country, the world’s fifth biggest gold exporter. A new Univision Investigative report shows that the criminal organizations that traffic illegal drugs have diversified and are now in the business of trading the precious metal.

Mas…Good news? Gold tops cocaine as Peru’s top illegal export (video)

El Chapo Chronicles: Too many Guzmans confuse New Jersey Jews’ news

dudeballoonwrongguzman(PNS reporting from LAKEWOOD, NJ) The story was confusing for the few Ultra-Orthodox Jews who get their world news from The Lakewood Shopper, a free “penny saver” community weekly newspaper published here.

The Shopper mistakenly included a photo of actor Luis Guzman in a story about Mexico’s arrest of drug cartel kingpin Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman.

Mas…El Chapo Chronicles: Too many Guzmans confuse New Jersey Jews’ news

Mayan weed bombs scar U.S. field, Trekkies prepare for Apocalypse

Every day brings us closer to the End of the World as We Know It on December 21 (synchronize your chronometers with our MAYAN APOCALYPSE DOOMSDAY COUNTDOWN CLOCK in the right column.)

All over the Internets, extremely concerned Trekkies are banding together to wear “expendable red” jerseys on The Last Day, so they can “die as Mr. Gene Rodenberry intended.”

And policia stationed near San Luis, AZ found a freshly-plowed field on the American side of the Colorado River scarred by craters and dotted with payloads of Mayan Marijuana apparently shot by cannabis cannoneers using a pneumatic cannon.

Pneumatic cannon? Federales found an empty industrial-sized CO2 canister, presumably propellant, in their hood.

Mas…Mayan weed bombs scar U.S. field, Trekkies prepare for Apocalypse

Ñewsweek: The Chicano handshake, RATM, Bimbo ♥ Twinkie?

Make friends and influence people with a Chicano handshake?

That’s right, pochas y pochos, you too can reinforce your raza credibility with a puro handshake, as Subcommandanta del News Sara Inés Calderón demonstrates in her viral video. She illustrates the proper form for handshakes in Califas and Tejas plus throws in a variation that answers the musical question Why Can’t We Be Friends?

On the music front, Pocho Ñews Service Floridita Burro Jefe Santino J. Rivera takes a look at the contradiction between Rage Against the Machine’s message and some clueless fans’ love of the band. Hint: VP wannabe Paul Ryan isn’t the only doofus.

On the international business news beat, Subcommandante del Cultura Victor Payan blows the lid off the Republican effort to thwart the sale of bankrupt Hostess to Mexico’s Bimbo.  Revelations from the TwinkieLeaks website include this money quote from GOP guru Karl Rove: “They can have my DingDong when they pry it from my cold, dead hand.”

And New Jack City Burro Jefe Elise Roedenbeck illuminates the softer side of South America with the sad tale of a Peruvian girl and her llama —  a lament for lost youth, innocence and a little girl’s dreams.

These are top stories that broke the ñews on POCHO this week:

Mas…Ñewsweek: The Chicano handshake, RATM, Bimbo ♥ Twinkie?