catholic

Pope visits a (non-Catholic) megachurch in ‘Bordertown’ [video]

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First BORDERTOWN Clip! “The Pope Visits the Mexifornia MegaChurch” Bordertown premieres January 3, 930 pm on Fox. We’re all going to hell!

Posted by Lalo Alcaraz on Monday, December 14, 2015

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If the Facebook ^^^^ video won’t play, try this [it may take a minute to load]:

Mas…Pope visits a (non-Catholic) megachurch in ‘Bordertown’

https://pocho.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Pope.mov

Oaxaca woman finds face of Jesus on homemade tortilla (video)

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jesustortillawide“A woman in southern Mexico decided to use a tortilla she had just made for spiritual, rather than physical, food after seeing the face of Jesus Christ looking back at her,” reports the Daily Mail:

Enedina Mendoza and her family make tortillas in the small Oaxacan town of Tlalixtac de Cabrera, and the baker that she [said] normally doesn’t even look at her creations.

However, instead of sending one tortilla off to become a blessed burrito, Mendoza took another glance and recognized the son of God.

Mas…Oaxaca woman finds face of Jesus on homemade tortilla (video)

DJ for Juárez Catholic radio massages migrants’ feet (audio)

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juarezdjMigrants seeking a better life in El Norte often pause on the border across from El Paso — in Ciudad Juárez, Chihuahua — before they cross to El Otro Lado.

Jorge Gutierrez, a host on Radio Guadalupana, a religious station run by the Catholic Diocese of Juárez, is there for them. More than just a radio talker, he has put his faith (and hands) to work easing migrants’ pain. Public Radio International reports:

Feet are a symbolic part of practically every migrant’s story: They literally carry their owner’s weight along the length of an exhausting journey. And in the Mexican border city of Juárez, one man has made it his mission to care for this particular body part.

Here’s the radio report from Monica Oritz Uribe:

Mas…DJ for Juárez Catholic radio massages migrants’ feet (audio)

@SaraChicaD: In Texas, Guadalupe photobombs you (Vine video)

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“It’s very Catholic where I was in Texas,” Subcommandanta del Ñews Sara Inés Calderón emailed the POCHO Ñewsroom from an undisclosed location in the Lone Star State.

“Mess around and la Virgen gets all up in your grill!” she wrote.

Follow Calderón on Twitter where’s she’s @SaraChicad.

[With these Vine videos you need to click on the speaker icon in the top left corner to hear WTF is happening.]

Father Guido Sarducci: Afraid of poison, Pope Francis cooks own food

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Vatican Correspondent for the Vatican Enquirer Father Guido Sarducci called in on Special Assignment Friday afternoon to the Pocho Hour of Power radio show on KPFK.

Father Sarducci, who we all first met on Saturday Night Live, gave a behind-the-velvet-robe look into the recent Papal Conclave in Rome. Hear him dish on the plans for The Pope Emeritus and hear what Pope name Father Sarducci himself would have taken, if called to higher service.

Holy smoke signal, this is funny!

PNS*Hot*Flash: Pope ‘Don’ Francisco I swaps Latino for Latin

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BREAKING ÑEWS: (PNS reporting from THE VATICAN) With the selection of Argentine Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio as Pope “Call Me Don” Francisco I, winds of change are blowing from the Western and Southern Hemispheres to refresh the stale air of Rome.

The first big change, PNS has learned, is the gradual replacement of Latin in church communications and prayers with the more widely-spoken and understood Latino language.

Other expected changes:

PNS*Hot*Flash: Fox TV preps ‘So You Think You Can Pope’

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(PNS reporting from NEW JACK CITY) This just in: The Fox TV network has just announced a partnership with the Vatican to produce a new TV talent show called So You Think You Can Pope.

The hour-long program, which will air as a mid-season replacement for the ratings disaster So You Think You Can Pimp, will feature clergy from around the world competing for the coveted next Pope slot.

Fox Director of Religious Programming Norm Inepatri says “Pope” will keep many of the same sets and challenges as the “Pimp” show including biggest ring, flashiest hat, sweetest ride and smoothest money collection approach.

Mas…PNS*Hot*Flash: Fox TV preps ‘So You Think You Can Pope’

PNS*Hot*Flash: Pope resigns, cites ‘boy shortage’ at Vatican

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(PNS reporting from London) This just in: Controversial Pope Benedict XVI has resigned from the papacy making him the first pope to abdicate in over 600 years.  His resignation coincidentally coincides with the first real investigation of Vatican child sex abuse in over 600 years. Benedict, the pope formerly known as Cardinal Ratzinger, will retire to his native Bavaria and is looking forward to taking long vacations with German friends to Thailand, the Philippines and Malaysia.

Mas…PNS*Hot*Flash: Pope resigns, cites ‘boy shortage’ at Vatican

The Pope’s Pocho Ocho relaxed rules for Catholics besides condoms

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Pope Benedict XVI‘s 2010 statement that condoms are OK to prevent the spread of HIV is getting new attention now that some religious institutions are fighting a mandate to offer birth control as part of employee health plans.

The Pontiff’s relaxing the rules on condoms was mostly overlooked when he made it, along with Pocho Ocho other changes in Catholic doctrine you might not be aware of:

8. Premarital sex still forbidden except on alternate side of the week Thursdays.

7. It’s now OK to refer to the Three Wise Men as the Three Wise Dudes.

6. Confession now starts with “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned but You Only Live Once.”

Mas…The Pope’s Pocho Ocho relaxed rules for Catholics besides condoms