Don’t Bully Nazis, Please! This Community Advice brought to you by the Scarfolk Council.
Whether you’re visiting a Rub Smokehouse in Birmingham, Nottingham (say hi to the sheriff!), Beverley, or Newcastle (got coals?), this epic dish proves that breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
Stuck in London without a rebozo? Salsa-less in Soho? Caught without a calaca? Stop by the Mestizo Mexican Market — next door to Mestizo Restaurant & Tequila Bar on Hampstead Road in Kings Cross — for all your arte, comida, y ropas requirements.
Looks pretty good, actually. A legit chicken teriyaki recipe, authentic pico de gallo/salsa made with grilled piña, and of course everything tastes better on a tortilla. We have three questions, though:
- Where did the rice come from?
- How can it be a “healthier” with a lettuce wrap instead of a tortilla? Corn tortillas are GLUTEN FREE, ENGLISH DUDE. Also, no tortilla, no taco.
- Wassup with the Christmas music soundtrack on a video uploaded March 27?
Kingston University (UK) Product and Furniture Design students Milo and Hannah conducted a controlled experiment to see if a motorized remote-controlled Dia de los Muertos sugar skull that also blows bubbles could drum up more business for a local burrito stand, Mighty Burrito & Co. You won’t believe what happened next! (Día De Las Burbujas = Day of the Bubbles.)
The Mariachis, the UK’s Famous No. 1 Mariachi Band, turn an ordinary office holiday party into a fiesta. When these vatos show up, everyone is down for the party, Coz’ It’s Christmas Time.
The band first found fame playing for Doritos:
SpotSound.co.uk has you covered, as long as you have £300 ($465). For some reason we don’t think the Queen’s English is their first language. Check it out:
On the island city of Portsmouth, in Hampshire, on the southern coast of England, some hard-to-understand blokes are bent on world domination. Will their Al’Burrito restaurant be the vanguard of a Mexican food revolution in the United Kingdom? Even though they apparently discovered Mexican food in Australia, they say they import ingredients from Mexico. Are you in Portsmouth? Have you ever been?
It’s hard to find decent Mexican food in London, but critic Richard Vines found three taquerias worth visiting in a report for Bloomberg TV. We were puzzled that the Limeys spell Oaxaca “Wahaca” but then we remembered that Brits are stupid with “foreign” terms — they pronounce “filet” like “fill-it,” for example. Food critic Vines does an exemplary job, however, with words like “molcajete.” PRO TIP FOR SEÑOR VINES: There is no such thing as “molcajete sauce.”
Heir to the British throne His Royal Highness Prince Charles joined a group of dancers Wednesday in the picturesque Mexican coastal town of Campeche. El Chaz danced the Sarao Campechano dance, twirling his handkerchief above his head.
PREVIOUSLY ON BRITISH PRINCES:
Nachos are exotic foreign fare in Merrye Olde Inglaterra, so you need someone to explain how they work. We think “trash food” is British for “junk food,” but these people also call cookies “biscuits” so who knows what they mean.
Anyhow, our Limey expert’s first step to acceptable nacho eating is the purchase of Doritos. Ruh roh.
That is a simple question, isn’t? Well, for some of us, the answer is not so straight forward.
My experience in London in the past four months has included fascinating dialogue with people I have come across. It is one thing I have come to expect from such a global city where you are bound to meet people from so many places around the world.
Such interactions have sparked in me the need to explore my conception of identity as part of my own self-discovery process. Primarily because most of us conflate place of origin and ethnicity with identity.
If I claim to be from a certain part of the world, what does that mean about the way others expect me to look, speak, act and be? In engaging in this inquiry, the first realization I have made is that the answer to the question of “Where are you from?” is very telling not only about one’s own perception of identity but also of the one imposed by others.
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON) President Barack Obama has abruptly dismissed the possibility of launching a U.S. military action against Syria and opted for another world trouble spot.
“I am making preparations to bomb Twerky,” the President declared in a nationally-televised speech Friday afternoon. “It is clear that Syria has used banned chemical weapons against its own people, but I must be guided by what is in the best interests of the United States, and the actual clear and present danger to our nation is coming from Twerky.”
(PNS reporting from LONDON) Normally perky Buckingham Palace Her Majesty’s Parking Valet Reymundo Hernandez Terraza was uncharacteristically quiet today after the birth of Prince William and Kate Middleton’s new baby boy, although some friends of the royal servant noticed he sported a “secret smile.”
Some Palace observers have remarked on the newborn’s apparent slight suntan, attributing the child’s skin tone to Britain’s recent heat wave, when temperatures soared into the high 60s.
“According to government figures, there are over a million illegal immigrants living in the U.K.,” says the video producer. “This 30-second eye opener provides a simple solution and is guaranteed to stop illegal immigrants hiding in your cupboards. Watch it and pass it on.”
(PNS reporting from LONDON) Queen Elizabeth II of England — depite being briefly hospitalized with a stomach infection — has endorsed the stampede of European carnivores who say horsemeat in your beefburger is no big deal.
Joining the German cabinet minister who advocated giving horsemeat-tainted products to poor people and the Huffington Post’s LatinoVoices, which published a Cuban horsemeat recipe, the 86-year-old Queen put her stamp of approval on the new “austerity” regime:
Prince Harry’s CNN interview about combat in Afghanistan is just gonna have to wait. One does not simply ignore the amplified call of the tamalero oaxaceño!
A perro muerto mummified by the Mayans, they think, is ready for tests in Merrie Olde Englande. Estimated age for the kaput canine is 1000 years or so, and the pooch doesn’t look a day over 200!
And while we’re on the subject of pet videos from Europe, in Russia, if you’re a cat, dog fetch you!
“The mysterious Dudley Dorito UFO has been spotted for the fourth time in five years flying through a cloudless sky over woodland in Yorkshire,” reports Britain’s The Sun:
The object, which looks like an extra-terrestrial tortilla chip, was captured by an amateur cameraman who posted the footage on YouTube. He can be heard saying “I don’t know what that is” as the triangular aircraft glides silently across the frame above a forest in the north of England.
The UFO was dubbed the Dudley Dorito after its first sighting over the Midlands in 2007 but it is unclear whether the YouTube footage is real or a hoax.
(PNS reporting from NEW ENGLAND) New Hampshire is the small Yanqui state where Republicans vote today in a primary election. When tonight’s results come in, remember where they’re coming from – a jurisdiction where people live a lie, talk in a dialect devoid in rhoticity and don’t go to church like other Americans!
These are the secrets of the Granite State:
- First: They’re not from Hampshire. Unlike New Mexico, where 46% of the population claims roots across the border, only 17.6% of New Hampshire residents trace their ancestry back to England, let alone the English county of Hampshire.