Looks legit — Korean-style carnitas tacos con kimchi. All I ever got on camping trips was mosquito bites and poison ivy.
It’s Thai food! It’s Mexican food! It’s in the Philippines! Step right up for your pad thai nachos at El Phante Thai-Mex Street Food, #12 1st Street, Kapitolyo, Pasig, Philippines. You can’t miss it: It’s the only place that has a logo showing an elephant wearing a sombrero.
But if you do, here’s a map so you don’t get lost:
Just a few easy ingredients and a strong stomach are all you need to make and enjoy these fantastic fusion vegan fandangos! Or not.
Start with a block of dried ramen noodles dipped in vegan egg-like goop, stew them in ramen juice, cut them into circles, fold them like tacos, then fill these little impersonators with fake chicken, bean sprouts, corn, cebollitas, wasabi (falso) mayonnaise. There you have it. Whatever.
Now that UNIVISION has become a part owner of The Onion, our media analysts have compiled the Pocho Ocho top changes you can expect from the new corporation:
8. Daily stories tagged #TelemundoFail
7. Don Francisco’s triumphant return to TV as Area Man
6. Univision closes failing millennial-oriented website The Cilantro
Burning with love like Wildfires, alt.neo.electro.fusion.cumbia.mariachi conjunto Mariachi El Bronx continues the quest for a hit record in 6/8 time with this new official music video:
After the United States passed the openly racist Chinese Exclusion Act in 1882, migrants from China went to Mexico instead. And the legacy of those immigrants is still found today on both sides of the border: Chinese-Mexican food.
MiJA Elise Roedenbeck, formerly a professional geek*, wonders if computers make our brains less creative. Since half of Elise’ cabeza is exposed to Mutant Moon Rays from Outer Espace synergistically multiplied by the Reality Distortion Field generated by her MacBook Pro, it was urgent she get an answer as quickly as possible. In this case, it took her only 3:03.
Here’s Buttronica’s video:
POCHO Migrant Editor Al Madrigal’s new docu-comedy Half Like Me went live on FUSION Thursday night. In this clip, Al meets up at the US-Mexican border with a patriotic member of the Minutemen. Also, Borderlandia looks familiar somehow.
PREVIOUSLY ON HALF LIKE ME:
Coconut Madrigal (white inside, brown outside) knew turning an intensely personal journey into a docu-comedy wouldn’t be one easy trick, but he never anticipated what happened next.
“I set out to dial down my pocho level from a ten to a five,” he told POCHO in a text message Tuesday night, “and ultimately something much greater and unexpected happened. I ended up not giving a shit.”
“I encourage others to try it, feels great.”
Al got some help from three mostly-reliable sources:
Fusion’s Pedro Andrade talked to POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz about fighting for racial justice, and Lalo spilled the beans.
Drones are chasing our Emeritus Editor Elise Roedenbeck (she’s @buttronica on the Tuiter) for all the wrong reasons. Here’s how she hides, and how you can hide too. [Editor’s note: I can’t tell you the right reason because then Ms. Buttronica would have to kill me and I think that could be quite painful.]
FUSION Live’s host Mariana Atencio came to POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz’ studio to get up close and personal with the openly-Latino cartoonist.
Star of stage, little screens and even littler screens, POCHO Migrant Editor Al Madrigal tries to stay cool, calm and collected during a Green Room interview with FUSION’s “Talking Hot Dog.” [SWF: F-bombs bleeped.]
Historic Otumba, in the State of Mexico, was filled with ass-loving fans at the Feria del Burro (donkey fair) earlier this year.
POCHO amiga Elise Roedenbeck (who is sill on our masthead as NYC Bureau Chief Emeritus the fact of which we are periodically required to remind you of as a result of the settlement order, without admitting or denying guilt and/or culpability) explores the steamy sexy world of Dino Porn. These big hunks o’ meat are horny and your scent is just perfect. Elise is @buttronica on the Twitter. Don’t tell T-Rex we were sexting!
Here’s how NPR Music producer Jasmine Garsd tells the story:
For the first installment in the Mi Casa Es Tu Casa series with Fusion, a Mexican band invites Alt.Latino into its house for lively conversation and great music.
Ever since I moved to Mexico City, I’ve been overwhelmed by the amount of music at my fingertips. I’m not just talking about amazing concerts: So many artists from all over Latin America live here in Mexico, and I love being here to check in on their creative process.
Sweet dreams are made of this -- who am I to disagree?
I travel the world and the seven seas. Everybody's looking for something.
Elise Roedenbeck — she’s @buttronica on the Twitter — learned the same lesson when she investigated the top porn search terms broken down by state. Everybody’s looking for something. They’re looking for massage. And cream pie. And cream pie massages. In somebody else’s state, right? Don’t be so sure.
PREVIOUSLY ON STUFF BROKEN DOWN BY STATES:
That’s right — you sitting there in your PJs, bunny slippers and Frida Kahlo unibrow.
After all, you know better than other people on the Internets, and if you’re so smart, why aren’t you rich?
Donut despair! You can turn your Aztlan acumen into fame y fortune in a matter of weeks, and
It’s easier than you think.
These are the factoids:
This is a proven method that
- propelled openly-Chicano Lalo Alcaraz and Gustavo Arellano to writing gigs at a new Fox sitcom,
- zoomed actor and comic Al Madrigal to The Daily Show and
- teleported NYC standup Elise Roedenbeck from dimly-lit stages in the East Village to the bright TV lights of the new FUSION network in Miami.
Elise Roedenbeck (@Buttronica on the Twitter) reveals the one little secret to happiness that can change your outlook forever. After all, the lower your expectations, the less chance you have of being disappointed.
PREVIOUSLY ON @BUTTRONICA: