PREVIOUSLY ON YOU WANT GREAT MOMENTS? WE’VE GOT GREAT MOMENTS:
From Milpa to Mesa highlights the process of transforming heirloom corn from tiny farms across Mexico into tortillas.
Helpful glossary from video creators The Perennial Plate:
We bet this looks familiar! Yamelith made tamales with her mom over the Thanksgiving weekend and shared her experience in this student video, uploaded by the Charles W. Harris School in Phoenix, AZ.
That’s why we weren’t surprised when we read reports of a marvelous new American “taco” creation, the grilled-cheese taco.
Although we think the so-called Elite Daily’s headline asserting that “You’ll Never Need a Tortilla Again” betrays the bleak gustatory horizons of an editor who has never eaten a proper tortilla (see videos below), we are thankful she included a link to the original recipe.
Originator FoodInMyBeard blog (original recipes and mashups by Dan Whalen) lays out the rationale:
Gastronomy students at the Tabasco campus of the Autonomous University of Guadalajara broke a Guinness world record Saturday with the world’s longest tamal — a tamal wrapped in Yucatan-style banana leaves instead of the corn husks used in other parts of Mexico.
And remember, kids, there is NO SUCH THING AS A “TAMALE:”
The great Lalo Guerrero can hardly sing for all the weeping as he performs There’s No Tortillas. And who can blame him?
Here’s our favorite (non parody) Lalo Guerrero song — he calls it a “boogie woogie jitterbug”:
Greg Streech is so hungry for tacos he makes his own, starting with corn tortillas from scratch. And a margarita. Trojans are chingon!
Champurrado is a chocolate-based hot beverage Mexicans love to drink, especially during the Christmas season. [Video via Telemundo]
Here’s the video — and the recipe — en Español:
When I arrived at Northgate Gonzalez market and was immediately handed a free apron that read I ❤️ Tamales and several blobs of uncooked masa, I knew immediately I had made the right decision for a Friday night.
Even my mother, who invited herself along after her favorite novela was cancelled due to soccer, looked grudgingly impressed. She’d spent the entire ride complaining she did not need tamales-cooking classes because she was a world-class tamales expert.
Let me be clear: In all the years I’ve been alive, my mother has never produced a single tamal.
Instead, she criticizes everyone else’s tamales.
The 3000 indigenous residents of Santa Clara de Juarez make a living by making tortillas, starting with non-GMO corn they grow in their own fields. An Australian tortillero went to the town to document the process.
♫ ♬ Masa roasting by an open fire… ♫ ♬
Wait; that masa thing doesn’t sound right. Dear Gustavo ¡Ask A Mexican! Arellano: Why do Mexicans eat tamales during Christmas?
Previously on tamales:
Argentine Chef Maru Botana Crucified On Twitter For Mocking Mexican Food was the headline in the “Latin Times,” an English-language website despite its name. Maria G. Valdez reporting [*Latin translation by Google below.]:
(PNS reporting from GUANAJUATO, MX) Previously-secret startup MasaTek.com today unveiled a hardware/software combo that uses 3D printing to print corn or flour tortillas with the religious or brand image of your choice.
“The waiting is over!” Carlos Molinero, president of the Silicio Barrio company, told reporters here. “You need Jesus? He’s just a click away. La Virgen is always on deck!”
The WiFi-enabled printer is the size of a small microwave and has a hopper on top for masa. It uses open source 3D software, Molinero said, and is easily addressable with standard CAD tools.
Dear Extra Carne Carnal,
Some people dislike extra carnita on their flauta but a little foreskin can be fun during foreplay. I can’t tell you how many times I played peek-a-boo with uncut pee-pees. Now you see it – now you don’t. Now you see it – oh, the laughs we had.
The minute we heard the United States Air Force had planned and carried out Operation Chimichanga, we knew there had to be more to the story. Our Pentagon sources confirmed the hunch: The inspiration for the “chimichanga” code name was the way the Tex-Mex fried-burrito-belly-busters incapacitated unwary diners every time. The brass hats’ hope was that secret teams in state-of-the-art aircraft could make the enemy moan just like fajita-fed TGIFridays customers on Cinco de Mayo.
There is more to the story — the pocho ocho secret Pentagon operations still in the planning stages:
8. Operation Don’t Drink the Water: Secret “wetback” forces from the Navy SEALS sneak into enemy territory and dose the water with “pedo-biotic” agents bioengineered to cause widespread “Montezuma’s Revenge.” This is expected to cause pandemic personal distress, lessen the enemy’s fighting capability and reduce water pressure.
7. Operation Hot Tamale: Inspired by the guetherman’s motto of “cool today, hot tamale,” stealthy airborne drones seed enemy skies with specially-formulated lard and masa pellets that trap your fat, screw your cholesterol and clot your veins.
Latina girls are the key to growth for the Girl Scouts, and the organization needs to shift culturally to accommodate these new scouts.
How do you bring in a new crop of Latina scouts? How about some new Merit Badges?
8. Touting Trenzas.
It may be India María style or Frida Kahlo style, but any good Latina needs to know how to work the hair art. Whether it be one braid or two, a French braid or any other variety.
7. Masa Mashing.
Scouts need to know how to mash masa around between their hands in a variety of ways. Masa mashing can be the cultural equivalent of chopping, the manner in which masa is mashed alluding to unspoken or subtle feelings, including: anger, happiness, interest, nervousness, etc.
8. Beans, beans the magical fruit
7. The tortilla is the perfect shape and size for religious apparitions and spiritual experiences
6. Manteca — it’s the new kombucha
5. Pronouncing “chipotle” deemed World’s Best Tongue Exercise by Women’s Love Commission