Nicaraguan-born Chicago artist and printmaker Carlos Barberena mixes up traditional calacas and current events. Wall Street, Mickey Mouse, McDonalds, Halliburton, British Petroleum and other icons look better as muertos, don’t you think?
If the Facebook ^^^^ video won’t play, try this [it may take a minute to load]:
Our MiJA, Elise @buttronica Roedenbeck, doesn’t want much. She just wants additional followers on the Twitter as part of her plan for worldwide social media domination. Follow Elise to win a small box lunch with individual carafe of wine plus other cool incentives like scribbled notes and video winks (must be over legal drinking age and legal box-eating age in your jurisdiction.) Vegans — ask about the kale-quinoa bowls!
And then comes along Pope Francis (his handle is @pontifex) who is offering PAPAL INDULGENCES on Twitter. Not PayPal, you geeks, but Papal Indulgences from the Holy Father that shorten your stay in the limbo of Purgatory. What’s our MiJA to do?
[What can we say about Elise Roedenbeck, POCHO’s New Jack City Burro Jefe Emeritus, that hasn’t been ruled out by the terms of the negotiated settlement and mutual release of all claims? Just this: She sure likes butter, and it’s “butt-ronica” not “but-tronica.”]
(PNS reporting from PHOENIX) The media may question the newly-elected pontiff’s ethnicity, but Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio firmly believes that Pope Francis is Latino.
“His real name is Jorge and he speaks Spanish. I’m damn sure he is a Latino; he’s probably a Mexican, ” Arpaio told the monthly breakfast meeting of the Sons of the Arizona Indian Wars Wednesday.
Vatican Correspondent for the Vatican Enquirer Father Guido Sarducci called in on Special Assignment Friday afternoon to the Pocho Hour of Power radio show on KPFK.
Father Sarducci, who we all first met on Saturday Night Live, gave a behind-the-velvet-robe look into the recent Papal Conclave in Rome. Hear him dish on the plans for The Pope Emeritus and hear what Pope name Father Sarducci himself would have taken, if called to higher service.
Holy smoke signal, this is funny!
BREAKING ÑEWS: (PNS reporting from THE VATICAN) With the selection of Argentine Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio as Pope “Call Me Don” Francisco I, winds of change are blowing from the Western and Southern Hemispheres to refresh the stale air of Rome.
The first big change, PNS has learned, is the gradual replacement of Latin in church communications and prayers with the more widely-spoken and understood Latino language.
Other expected changes:
- Goodbye, Amen. Hello, A la chinagada
- Pope-Mobile is now known as El Guagua
The Cardinals of the Roman Catholic Church locked themselves inside the Vatican’s historic Sistine Chapel Tuesday to choose the next Pope. In accordance with tradition, they will communicate the results of their deliberations to the outside world via smoke signals.
Black smoke means no one got enough votes (two-thirds of those voting must agree) to become Pope, and white smoke means Habemus Papam — Latino for “We have a Pope.”
But that’s not all! Here are the pocho ocho other smoke signals the Cardinals will send to let you know what’s going on inside the Sistine Chapel:
8. Green smoke: Habemus frogam
7. Rainbow smoke: We have a new Pope and he is fabulous
6. Red smoke: OK, which one of you Cardinals put Flamin’ Hot Cheetos in the ballot box?
Pope Benedict XVI may have left the building, but investigators claim something is still rotten in Vatican City. They say the Roman Catholic Church is hiding evidence of extraterrestrial visitors — evidence that includes the remains of a dead ET buried beneath the Vatican.
(PNS reporting from VATICAN CITY) Retiring Pope Benedict XVI is ditching the traditional red slippers (he wears size VIII) when he leaves the papacy and is switching to pointy boots (botas picudas) he got in Mexico, according to news reports.
Pope loves shoes that gave her artisans in Mexico in March 2012 during his apostolic visit to the State of Guanajuato and considers them so comfortable that continue to use even after his resignation.
During a press conference the spokesman of the headquarters of the Catholic Church, Federico Lombardi, confirmed that from next Thursday, February 28 at 20:00 local time (19:00 GMT), the pontiff will no longer use the traditional colored shoes Red.
Happy Presidents Day from Mija Weekly! This week: the State of the Union is doomed! Also, I say adios to el Popa and hello to some ruby red slippers. Last, don’t forget it’s Lent (avoid pork chops and cruise ships.)
(PNS reporting from NEW JACK CITY) This just in: The Fox TV network has just announced a partnership with the Vatican to produce a new TV talent show called So You Think You Can Pope.
The hour-long program, which will air as a mid-season replacement for the ratings disaster So You Think You Can Pimp, will feature clergy from around the world competing for the coveted next Pope slot.
Fox Director of Religious Programming Norm Inepatri says “Pope” will keep many of the same sets and challenges as the “Pimp” show including biggest ring, flashiest hat, sweetest ride and smoothest money collection approach.
Oh sure old age, weakness, lack of energy, blah blah blah. From our homeboy inside the Vatican, the Jesuit formerly known as Lil Stanky, here are the Infallible VIII reasons Pope Benedict XVI really resigned:
VIII Not down with the red Gucci slippers
VII Wants to spend more time with the kids
VI Time to start his jihad against the LAPD
(PNS reporting from London) This just in: Controversial Pope Benedict XVI has resigned from the papacy making him the first pope to abdicate in over 600 years. His resignation coincidentally coincides with the first real investigation of Vatican child sex abuse in over 600 years. Benedict, the pope formerly known as Cardinal Ratzinger, will retire to his native Bavaria and is looking forward to taking long vacations with German friends to Thailand, the Philippines and Malaysia.
The Pope is on Twitter and the Sisters of the Vatican have a new fashion show! Thank God the world is ending in three weeks!
Whistleblower Leo Zagami‘s The Vatican’s UFO Agenda unmasks the shocking New World Order-Zionist-Nazi-Jesuit-Illuminati disinformation campaign to hide the presence of space aliens among us, a centuries-old effort designed to further their vast merchant-of-death world domination power grab.
And be careful what you tell your priest. After all, the so-called Sacrament of Confession is Job One in the Black Popes’ international intelligence-gathering apparatus.
Pope Benedict XVI‘s 2010 statement that condoms are OK to prevent the spread of HIV is getting new attention now that some religious institutions are fighting a mandate to offer birth control as part of employee health plans.
The Pontiff’s relaxing the rules on condoms was mostly overlooked when he made it, along with Pocho Ocho other changes in Catholic doctrine you might not be aware of:
8. Premarital sex still forbidden except on alternate side of the week Thursdays.
7. It’s now OK to refer to the Three Wise Men as the Three Wise Dudes.
6. Confession now starts with “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned but You Only Live Once.”