thanksgiving

Pocho Ocho top tips for surviving Black Friday

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It’s brutal out there, pochos — it’s cut or be cut to save $20 on an iPhone 6 — and that’s why we’ve compiled the Pocho Ocho best ways to survive Black Friday:

8. In the event store security confiscates your Mace®, pick up some Aqua Net™ on Aisle 3.

7. Shoppers who carry their own rolls of yellow “crime scene” warning tape can easily discourage other shoppers from entering the Home Entertainment Department.

6. Successful shoppers are well-equipped shoppers. Must-have items include snacks, a gas mask, body armor where available and a small knife (plus a newspaper to hide the knife.) Experienced shoppers only: Weaponized chanclas.

Mas…Pocho Ocho top tips for surviving Black Friday

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: How ju make Mijo’s favorite Mole Poblano turkey

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turkeymole640Hola. Is Tia Lencha here. Sorry I no give ju recetas (recipes for ju pochos) for a gwhile. Mijo’s daddy no send the cheques for the mijo support. I mad.

Then he go to my house crying because the eskelton eskank he marry left him for another viejo (old man for ju pochos). The viejo had more dinero and drive a troka (thas truck for ju pochos) with plastic bolitas hanging from the bumper. Oh gwell.

In Mexico we say mijo’s daddy got put horns. Mijo’s daddy cry and cry but he no give me my mijo support cheque. I tell him my house is no LenchaCare. He need to pay. He say need money for divorce the eskank. I have to go to the offices to get him to pay.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: How ju make Mijo’s favorite Mole Poblano turkey

Pocho Ocho little-known factoids about the first Thanksgiving

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See this painting that is supposed to depict the first Thanksgiving? It’s wrong wrong wrong. What really went on at that epic feast so long ago? We’ve got eight little-known factoids right here:

8. The frozen string beans in the casserole were past their sell-by date

7. Pilgrim Zephaniah Winslow = silent but deadly

6. Squanto’s succotash was really delivery from Uber Eats

Mas…Pocho Ocho little-known factoids about the first Thanksgiving

Our heritage and culture are not your Halloween costume

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ddlmfaceA school in our neighborhood recently held a “Dress as Your Heritage Day.”

For one Friday, students were encouraged to wear items representing their backgrounds, and some did. Students walked around campus in a combination of family heirlooms and seemingly exaggerated symbols to reflect their racial/ethnic groups.

The rationale underlying this day was cultural celebration, and families and students were representing their own heritages in ways that they wanted. On the face of it, this seemed like good ole’ fashion fun where dressing up breaks the routine of school and students show-off their family backgrounds.

Mas…Our heritage and culture are not your Halloween costume

LatinoUSA Audio: Al Madrigal and Lalo Alcaraz’ ‘Big Adventure’

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POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz and POCHO Migrant Editor Al Madrigal (you may also know him from The Daily Show with Juan Estewart) are thankful for lots of stuff. Al is thankful that his son’s school’s athletic mascot is not racist, Lalo is thankful for his new Bordertown gig with Fox, and POCHO is thankful LatinoUSA with Maria Hinojosa let us share this audio from everyone’s favorite Latinos from the Future!

PREVIOUSLY ON LATINOS FROM THE FUTURE:

Mas…LatinoUSA Audio: Al Madrigal and Lalo Alcaraz’ ‘Big Adventure’

POCHO Estaff Reports: Mi casa? Real Thanksgiving turkeys!

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lalocucashoppigPOCHO’s Especial Correspondents spread out across America to celebrate Thanksgiving and sent in notes about their day. Some names were changed to avoid unpredictable results.  Read their stories and share your own in the comments!

  • Homeboy in East Los: My family’s so Mexican we carved the turkey with a switchblade ·IN MEMORY of SMILEY·
  • Dateline, Austin: MEChA cousin Xochiloctl is in the living room refusing to eat turkey and playing Grand Theft Auto 5 instead.
  • Nancy in Santana, the O.C.: That awkward moment when three-year-old Cousin Ricardo makes a big announcement that everybody better finish their plates because Mommy spent the whole day cooking the dog.

    Mas…POCHO Estaff Reports: Mi casa? Real Thanksgiving turkeys!

Pocho Ocho secrets of the first Thanksgiving feast

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firstturkey900See this painting that is supposed to depict the first Thanksgiving? It’s wrong wrong wrong. What really went on at that epic feast so long ago?

We’ve got eight things right here:

8. The frozen string beans in the casserole were past their sell-by date

7. Pilgrim Zephaniah Winslow = silent but deadly

6. Squanto’s succotash was really takeout from Naco Bell

Mas…Pocho Ocho secrets of the first Thanksgiving feast

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: How I make turkey in Mole Poblano for mijo

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turkeymole640Hola. Is Tia Lencha here. Sorry I no give ju recetas (recipes for ju pochos) for a gwhile. I was closed like the gobernment. Mijo’s daddy no send the cheques for the mijo support. I mad.

Then he go to my house crying because the eskelton eskank he marry left him for another viejo (old man for ju pochos). The viejo had more dinero and drive a troka (thas truck for ju pochos) with plastic bolitas hanging from the bumper. Oh gwell.

In Mexico we say mijo’s daddy got put horns. Mijo’s daddy cry and cry but he no give me my mijo support cheque. I tell him my house is no LenchaCare. He need to pay. He say need money for divorce the eskank. I have to go to the offices to get him to pay.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: How I make turkey in Mole Poblano for mijo

Pocho Ocho Cyber Lunes gift tips are just a clika guey

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As long as the boss isn’t looking, today is the day when pochos all over America go holiday gift shopping on the Internets. If you’re not shopping at Lalo Alcaraz’s place, these Pocho Ocho gift tips (with links) will turn your Cyber Lunes from Mission Impossible to Cyber Espace Mission Accomplished:

8. Santa’s Helpers are cool, sure, but so last year! Nalgas Helpers are bringing sexy back (and backs) with their American-made line of butt thong bar stools. When the clear view is the rear view, click on over to order the furniture that will make your family room the “Best of Barrio” for 2012!

Mas…Pocho Ocho Cyber Lunes gift tips are just a clika guey

Ñewsweek: Thanksgiving, Black Friday and Señor Twinkie

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There were these Pilgrims, OK? They were like undocumented boat people refugees fleeing religious oppression in England and they drove all the way to America. Err, sailed over. And there they met these Noble Native Americans who taught them how to plant corn with fish and everyone had this amazing turkey dinner together because they were all thankful.

Later on they killed each other for discounts on flat screen TVs and the chance to bust unions and bankrupt Twinkies. What? You missed these headlines? Here are the week’s big estories, as POCHO once again breaks the ñews:

Mas…Ñewsweek: Thanksgiving, Black Friday and Señor Twinkie

A chemistry geeks’ guide to Thanksgiving food chemistry (video)

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Why do we eat mashed potatoes and not mashed paper towels? How does that turkey pop-up timer work? Belches? Farts? Join students at the Catholic University of America for this short lecture by Professor Diane Bunce. The 24-minute video is called Thanksgiving and Chemistry: What’s the connection?

POCHO Estaff Reports: The Real Turkeys of Thanksgiving

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POCHO’s Especial Correspondents spread out across America yesterday observing Thanksgiving (just like normal people!) and sent in notes about their day. Some names were changed to avoid unpredictable results.  Read their stories and share your own in the comments!

Homeboy in East Los: My family’s so Mexican we carved the turkey with a switchblade ·IN MEMORY of SMILEY·

Dateline, Austin: MEChA cousin Xochiloctl is in the living room refusing to eat turkey and playing Call of Duty instead.

Nancy in Santana, the O.C.: That awkward moment when three-year-old Cousin Ricardo makes a big announcement that everybody better finish their plates because Mommy spent the whole day cooking the dog.

Mas…POCHO Estaff Reports: The Real Turkeys of Thanksgiving

Pocho Ocho tips for a successful if not safe and sane Black Friday

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It’s brutal out there, pochos — it’s cut or be cut to save $20 on an iPad. So as a public service we’ve compiled the Pocho Ocho best ways to make your Black Friday quest successful, if not totally safe and sane:

8. In the event store security confiscates your Mace®, pick up some Aqua Net™ on Aisle 3.

7. Shoppers who carry their own rolls of yellow “crime scene” warning tape can easily discourage other shoppers from entering the Home Entertainment Department.

6. Successful shoppers are well-equipped shoppers. Must-have items include snacks, a gas mask, body armor where available and a small knife (plus a newspaper to hide the knife.) Experienced shoppers only: Weaponized chanclas.

Mas…Pocho Ocho tips for a successful if not safe and sane Black Friday