bill clinton

juikiVenezuela-based “transparency” website JuikiLiques dropped some big political bombshells this morning — the so-called “October Surprise.”

POCHO’s Especial Correspondents axed all the refryable sources to concoct this list, so check it out: The Pocho Ocho Top Juikiliques Bombshells:

8. Donald Trump’s plan to have “Mexico pay for the wall” relies on hiring Mexican workers, not paying them, and then deporting them, a scheme that worked so well in previous real estate projects.

7. Hillary Clinton threw away over 200 valuable AOL membership CDs and never told the FBI.

6. Donald Trump’s hairdresser, former airport cosmetologist Manila Envelopé, won’t use anything but Tres Flores mousse for Trump’s weave-over, but she removes the labels so the Donald won’t know. [Mas…]

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[Dan McClintock is an artist, animator and illustrator.]

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hilllaryabuelaHillary Clinton’s campaign shared the “7 Ways Hillary Clinton Is Just Like Your Abuela” on her website Tuesday (photo), after daughter Chelsea announced that she was pregnant.

“[Hillary] isn’t afraid to talk about the importance of el respeto,” the site proclaimed, and “she knows what’s best.”

Also, we learned, “she reacts this way when people le faltan el respeto:” [Mas…]

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Pocho Ocho top things people blame on El Chupacabra (videos)

by Comic Saenz January 29, 2015 El Now
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Johnny Depp couldn’t just cop to being a day late to the Japanese press conference. No, this wannabe Tonto had to blame his tardy-ass rudeness on an attack by a cruel and vicious Mexican — El Chupacabra (video, above). And the interpreter and the reporters are all like jajaja WTF but in Japanese. Johnny Depp […]

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Breaking: Fake Facebook post changes Fort Worth man’s life

by María Purísima February 4, 2014 El Now
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(PNS reporting from FORT WORTH, TX) Leon Ortiz (photo, center) was scrolling through his Facebook newsfeed last week when he saw a post that changed his life forever. The post, co-authored by former President Bill Clinton (photo, left) and pop star Kayne West (photo, right), celebrated the importance of following your dreams. “You know, I […]

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Toke the Vote urges big turnout for Tuesday Presidential election

by JUANTO COVA October 15, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from OAKLAND) “Are you planning on voting Tuesday, brah?” Dale Mendoza scrunched his eyes shut behind his dark sunglasses as he concentrated on his phone call with a potential voter in Arkansas. “This election is critical, OK, and we totally need your vote.” Mendoza (photo, left) was the team leader of two dozen […]

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Ñewsweek: Japanese cholas, @MexicanMitt sings, DNC delirium

by Comic Saenz September 9, 2012 El Now
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Is brown the new black? That’s the question POCHO asked in a massively-popular photo essay that featured Japanese women who dress like cholas. They make ‘gang’ signs, they pose and they mad-dog the camera. Is this a good thing? Political coverage broke most of the ñews this week as just-released-from-Twitterham-jail @MexicanMitt Romney debuted a music video […]

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@MexicanMitt on the DNC: THAT CONVENTION ESUCKED!

by MEXICAN MITT ROMNEY September 7, 2012 El Now
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COMO CHINGA ESE OBAMA. If this Democratic convention was the FIESTA, then this yobs report is the CRUDA! There is no bowl of menudo big enough to cure the mess that Barack Obama has failed to clean up after the frat boy party thrown by George W. Bush. Whoops, never mind that I mentioned what’s-his-face. […]

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Bill Clinton’s Pocho Ocho best lines in his speech to the DNC

by REINCE IPSA LOCO September 6, 2012 El Now
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Former President Bill Clinton’s speech Wednesday to the Democratic Convention was long (48 minutes), complex and filled with facts and arithmetic — maybe too long and filled, although girth is as important as length according to the email we get here. As a public service, therefore, and sanitized for your protection, we present the Pocho […]

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@MexicanMitt on Bill Clinton: Well, that wasn’t a very good espeech

by MEXICAN MITT ROMNEY September 6, 2012 El Now
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Well, that wasn’t a very good espeech. Ex-Presidente BILL CLINTON spoke to the Democratic National Convention last night before heading out to a night of debauchery and cheeseburgers in Charlotte. Sure, you might say he delivered a good defense of Barack Obama’s awful Presidency.  But he filled the whole long rant with PINCHE BORING FACTS […]

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Pocho Ocho bits dropped from the Democrat’s convention schedule

by SHAQ FECKER September 4, 2012 El Now
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As fact checkers continue ripping apart the speeches from last week’s GOP liarpalooza, wary Democratic National Convention officials have dropped some scenes from their own star-studded Great Moments in White House History Pageant. Here are the Pocho Ocho historical recreations you won’t see at the Democrat’s convention: 8.  Franklin D. Roosevelt (Bill Murray) is all about West Wing wheelchair wheelies […]

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