Cultura
It’s Not News to Us
Pocho Ocho top tips for surviving Black Friday
It’s brutal out there, pochos — it’s cut or be cut to save $20 on an iPhone 6 — and that’s why we’ve compiled the Pocho Ocho best ways to survive Black Friday:
8. In the event store security confiscates your Mace®, pick up some Aqua Net™ on Aisle 3.
7. Shoppers who carry their own rolls of yellow “crime scene” warning tape can easily discourage other shoppers from entering the Home Entertainment Department.
6. Successful shoppers are well-equipped shoppers. Must-have items include snacks, a gas mask, body armor where available and a small knife (plus a newspaper to hide the knife.) Experienced shoppers only: Weaponized chanclas.
William S. Burroughs offers a ‘Thanksgiving Prayer’ (NSFW video)
Beat icon, literary treasure, junkie, poet and provocateur William S. Burroughs offered this Thanksgiving Prayer in 1986. You don’t know Burroughs? His most famous book was Naked Lunch, and Wikipedia says he specialized in satire and “paranoid fiction.” (NSFW language.)
WKRP’s Happiest Thanksgiving: ‘OMG! I thought turkeys could fly!’
This is the video the entire POCHO family watches every Thanksgiving. It features WKRP’s Les Nessman reporting:
I can see it now — the WKRP Holiday Helicopter is coming in low over Cincinnati!
Tia Lencha’s Cocina: How ju make Mijo’s favorite Mole Poblano turkey
Hola. Is Tia Lencha here. Sorry I no give ju recetas (recipes for ju pochos) for a gwhile. Mijo’s daddy no send the cheques for the mijo support. I mad.
Then he go to my house crying because the eskelton eskank he marry left him for another viejo (old man for ju pochos). The viejo had more dinero and drive a troka (thas truck for ju pochos) with plastic bolitas hanging from the bumper. Oh gwell.
In Mexico we say mijo’s daddy got put horns. Mijo’s daddy cry and cry but he no give me my mijo support cheque. I tell him my house is no LenchaCare. He need to pay. He say need money for divorce the eskank. I have to go to the offices to get him to pay.
Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: How ju make Mijo’s favorite Mole Poblano turkey
Hello, ‘I’m from Colombia,’ and I am not a cocaine mule (video)
When Yeimi Salazar came to New York City from Colombia, everyone assumed she was involved with cocaine. So she became a nose.
Mex indy rockers Reacta hear ‘The Sound of Drums’ (video)
Mexican electro-pop band Reacta — hometown Aguascalientes, Mexico — hears The Sound of Drums, en Ingles. We have no idea what the video is about. Do you?
The Chipotle Diaries: Is this pseudo Mayan ‘art’ a tribute or ripoff?
When we last visited the Chipotle Mexican Grill saga, the issue was the inability of the food chain to find any Latino writers to feature on their writer-decorated packaging.
Have they learned? An observant blogger and Mayan art geek in Philadelphia visited a Center City Chipotle Mexican Grill location and did a quick double-take when he saw the bas-relief artwork on the walls.
Here’s how University of Pennsylvania grad student Taylor Jones tells the story:
Mas…The Chipotle Diaries: Is this pseudo Mayan ‘art’ a tribute or ripoff?
Pocho Ocho little-known factoids about the first Thanksgiving
See this painting that is supposed to depict the first Thanksgiving? It’s wrong wrong wrong. What really went on at that epic feast so long ago? We’ve got eight little-known factoids right here:
8. The frozen string beans in the casserole were past their sell-by date
7. Pilgrim Zephaniah Winslow = silent but deadly
6. Squanto’s succotash was really delivery from Uber Eats
Mas…Pocho Ocho little-known factoids about the first Thanksgiving
Latin Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award Winners: Los Lobos
We couldn’t be prouder! Congratulations to one of America’s best bands, East Los homeboys Los Lobos, on accepting the Latin Recording Academy Latin Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award last night.
Which video to feature? How about Kiko and the Lavender Moon from the tour-de-force album of the same name, “one of the best albums ever recorded.”*
* Comic Saenz. November 20, 2014.
You are what you text: Here’s how to request a taco emoji
The Unicode Consortium — the international group that sets tech specs so people around the world can use computers in any language — is considering the addition of new “emoji” next year, and one of them may be the computer code to display a taco.
The consortium published this illustration on their blog so everyone knows that’s what they taco about, the traditional Mexican dish composed of a corn or wheat tortilla folded or rolled around a filling.
This time next year, facing your phone’s keyboard and searching for just the right emoji, you may have some new characters at your disposal.
Mas…You are what you text: Here’s how to request a taco emoji
Ask A Mexican: Why do Salvadorans and Mexicans hate so much? (video)
Gustavo ¡Ask A Mexican! Arellano steps back into the video limelight to ponder the question: Why do Mexicans (and Mexican-Americans) and Salvadorans (and Salvadoran-Americans) hate each other so much? Is it because Salvadoran horchata is better than Mexican horchata? And the fact that pupusas kick gorditas’ culinary nalgas? Or are they just following an age-old American tradition of hatin’ on the newbies that goes back at least to Benjamin Franklin?
Mas…Ask A Mexican: Why do Salvadorans and Mexicans hate so much? (video)
He won ‘La Loteria,’ but can he leave his regrets in the DR? (video)
While waiting for his plane to leave the Dominican Republic and immigrate to America, Augusto Ramirez recalls the three biggest regrets of his life.
Charlie Chicken, Canine Artist: A Puerto Rican perro in NYC (video)
He’s only a small town dog from Puerto Rico, scoffers say. But seriously, can Charlie Chicken, Canine Artist, make it in the uber competitive New York artistic scene? Charlie’s creations (his mixed media are poop and urine) are regularly featured all across Brooklyn, the short documentary explains.
Breaking: U.S. perverted peaceful Mexi-Drone robot plan
(PNS reporting from LOS ANGELES) Newly-uncovered video confirms allegations that the U.S. Government stole and perverted POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz’s 1998 plan to use remote-controlled robots (now called drones) for peaceful purposes.
The short informational piece, which Alcaraz made for the United States Department of Labor, aired only once — on local access cable TV program Illegal Interns. It was lost to the public until a VHS version was discovered in a storage locker in Boyle Heights last week.
Alcaraz’ documentary illustrates how remotely-controlled farm workers/braceros (called “cyber-braceros” or “cybraceros” for short in the quaint lingo of the 20th Century) could pick American crops without crossing America’s border.
Sadly, Alcaraz’ prophetic vision of remotely-controlled robots was perverted by Tio Sam and used for killing foreigners overseas and snooping on Americans at home.
The Labor Department video starts at 1:05 into the program:
Mex techno duo in luchador masks rocks NYC subway station (video)
The band is called Chango and they played Wednesday in the Delancey Street Station in Lower Manhattan.
The Geronimo Hotshots are on the front line of fire (video)
“That’s what we want them to remember. ‘Those guys are Apaches. And they came in here and put the fire out.'” The Geronimo Hotshots are on the Front Line of Fire combines hot GoPro fire footage with interviews of the forest firefighters from the San Carlos Apache Reservation in southeastern Arizona.
Ask A Mexican: Why do gabachos love burritos so much? (video)
POCHO co-conspirator Gustavo ¡Ask A Mexican! Arellano takes to the video to answer an age-old question: Why do gabachos love burritos so much?
‘Sticks and Stones’ may break my bones but empathy (video)
When you compete for LIKEs and LOLs online, virtual Sticks and Stones can hurt like real body blows and peer pressure can be painful to resist. This Canadian video reveals one easy trick that can help you break on through to the sunshine of your love.
For the Vets: Anti-war poetry from WWI: ‘Dulce et decorum est’
Today we observe Veterans Day, AKA Armistice Day, which marks the end of the first World War.
Dulce et Decorum est was written by poet Wilfred Owen in 1917, and published posthumously in 1920. Owen served as a lieutenant in the conflict. The poem is known for its horrific imagery and condemnation of war.
They don’t use poison gas too much any more (attention ISIS and Bashar Al-Assad) but phosphorous flares and drone strikes aren’t much fun either.
POCHO dedicates this poem to all our veterans in gratitude for their service and sacrifice and with the hope no child will ever be sent into war again.
Mas…For the Vets: Anti-war poetry from WWI: ‘Dulce et decorum est’
Cute kids dance to Cheech and Chong’s ‘Mexican Americans’ (video)
It’s never too early to dress the kids up like Cheech and Chong and shoot video as they dance to Mexican Americans.
Does your animation project need a Latina maid?
Does your video animation project need stereotyped cartoon actors?
How about a Latina?
How about we name her “Maria,” oh, and get this, she’s a “housemaid!”
Maria is ready to say “¡Si, Señora!” in all your corporate video, web avatar and/or white privileged productions.
Sure we could have made Maria the “cool girl” character (above), but get real.
This is America!
All this and more from mCharacter. [Windex not included, deviousness available for an additional charge.]
Mad as Hell Mariachi El Bronx has a brand ‘New Beat’ (lyrics video)
Pocholandia homies Mariachi El Bronx are mad as Hell and are not gonna take this anymore. There’s a New Beat in town, tu sabes. Advanced music appreciators — please correct us if we’re wrong, but we think the New Beat is in 7/4 and 3/4 and 6/8 and 12/8 time, but “it’s complicated.”
This newly-released “audio-only” video for MEB’s Everything Twice is pretty good, too, maybe even better, actually it’s lots better. It has a great beat (only one!) and it’s easy to dance to. If we were still alive and still a radio DJ, we’d play this “B-side” instead:
Mas…Mad as Hell Mariachi El Bronx has a brand ‘New Beat’ (lyrics video)