Cultura

It’s Not News to Us

Surveillance video: Havana car thieves jack sweet Italian ride

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It’s hard to make a living as a Communist car thief in the Republic of Cuba; there aren’t many cars worth stealing. But every once in a while a hard-working Marxist-Leninist scores a sweet European import, like this stylin’ Fiat. And don’t worry about hot-wiring the ignition, either, Comrade. From each according to his ability; to each according to his need.

Mas…Surveillance video: Havana car thieves jack sweet Italian ride

The Pocho Ocho worst Valentine’s Day gifts evah?

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8. Candy Bra: Lets face it, dude, the gift wasn’t really for your girl — it was for your own enjoyment. If eating chalky conversation hearts is what turns you on, you might as well just give her one. Plus, you could have thrown it on her body when she was naked. Now you just wasted $14.95 instead of Brachs conversation hearts which are 99 cents.

7. Humidifer: Don’t buy shit just because it’s on sale, unless he or she has severe allergies. Do not let yourself look like a mouth breather.

6. Electric Blanket: I know, I know, I actually got this as a gift on Valentine’s Day. He explained that because he had a Jeep I should take it along when we go out. Shortly after the relationship ended, the blanket ended as well when my niece spilled her Dora the Explorer juice box all over it.

Mas…The Pocho Ocho worst Valentine’s Day gifts evah?

Grad student realizes lesbian tendencies don’t make her Frida Kahlo

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(PNS reporting from EAST LOS ANGELES)  María de Luz Guzmán Villa had a disturbing realization this week: being a lesbian in grad school does not make her more like the Mexican icon Frida Kahlo.

Like many others, Guzmán Villa first experimented with trying to be like Frida, especially her lesbian tendencies, after her first Intro to Chicano Studies course at Cal State L.A.

But instead of giving up her fascination upon graduation, she gave up her boyfriend César and applied to grad school.

Mas…Grad student realizes lesbian tendencies don’t make her Frida Kahlo

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Delicious aphrodisiac Valentine’s Day salsa

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I’m Elena Maria Celina Carrillo Martinez de los Angeles Delgadillo Trujillo…Lopez. But you can call me Lencha.

Today my son is in his room reading his Naruto muñequito books, so I can chare with you my special recipe for Valentime’s Day.

M’ijo don’t like it when I talk about sexy things because me and his daddy are divorce because his daddy like to stick his weenie ebrywhere.

M’ijo usually checks my espelling but oh gwell. Since I have a little gwhile, I give you the recipe for Aphrodisiac Salsa.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Delicious aphrodisiac Valentine’s Day salsa

Chicana activist joins EZLN movement

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(PNS reporting from NEW JACK CITY)  A local activist is excited about throwing her support behind a movement in Southern Mexico she recently read about on Facebook: the EZLN.

Pilar Morales (photo) said she saw a post on her friend Daisy’s Facebook wall about a new band called Rage Against the Machine which talked about the movement.

When the Spanish Harlem resident Googled it, she said she felt like she’d finally found a cause she could really support.

“I totally get this. They are just, like, fighting for their rights and the government is oppressing them!” Morales told PNS. “It’s just not fair.”

Mas…Chicana activist joins EZLN movement

eBay ‘sniper’ outbids local man for ‘Chola Low Riders’ pulp magazine

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(PNS reporting from PDX) Area collector Reynaldo “Ronnie” Morales’ heart was broken Sunday night when a last-minute auction bid from an eBay “sniper” pushed the coveted September 1953 issue of Amazing Future Tales out of his grasp and into the arms of another.

The sniper killed Morale’s chances with a $37.83 winning bid.

Mas…eBay ‘sniper’ outbids local man for ‘Chola Low Riders’ pulp magazine

Ken Burns Super Bowl commercial angers minority farmworkers

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(PNS reporting from FRESNO) Latino farmworkers say Dodge’s American Farmer Super Bowl commercial is a bunch of manure, according to Claude Rhodappel, spokesman for the Minority Organization for Farmworkers and Obreros (MOFO).

The commercial, directed by filmmaker Ken Burns, used crisp documentary-style photography to celebrate America’s farmers while espousing the values of Dodge’s Ram Truck. 

MOFO is objecting to the fact that almost all of the farmers depicted in the ad were white, with the exception of one African-American man, who was included as the “Magical Negro” featured in so many Hollywood productions.

Mas…Ken Burns Super Bowl commercial angers minority farmworkers

PNS*Hot*Flash: ‘Enemy of my enema is my friend’

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(PNS reporting from FLUSHING, N.Y.)  This just in: Long Island dry cleaner Beau Riqua was an unhappy man this morning when he prevented nurses from administering an enema prescribed by his doctor.  Riqua, who was visiting internist Dr. Lee Cuado with concerns about bloating, was upset that Cuado, a longtime friend, recommended this delicate procedure.

“That charlatan is just getting revenge because he lost $500 to me on a Super Bowl bet,” says Riqua, “so now he’s on my list. Go Ravens!”

Mas…PNS*Hot*Flash: ‘Enemy of my enema is my friend’

PNS*Hot*Flash: GOP aims to cut ‘uppity’ February to 26 days

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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) This just in: Republican House Majority Leader Eric Cantor has introduced a bill to shorten February to 26 days. Cantor says February is getting too “uppity” and two of its days should be given to April, which he claims is being discriminated against as “the cruellest month,” because it features the observance of “Confederate History Month” and “Patriots Day.”  The bill also aims to cancel leap years, just to be a dick.

Mas…PNS*Hot*Flash: GOP aims to cut ‘uppity’ February to 26 days

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