It’s Not News to Us
Luchano el Luchador was a wrestling great, a headliner – once upon a time. Now he’s washed up, works a depressing day job and has no hope for the future, until he picks up a card from a business that promises to change his life.
Make sure you keep watching through the elaborate credits (Puta #1, Puta #2, Puta #3, etc.) for the “shaggy dog story” ending!
The few, the proud, the wet. Meet the Mexican Navy!
Dear MR. POCHO:
My name is Miss Evangela Joseph. I have decided to donate $10,000,000 you.
Can you spot the drunken alien?
I made my regular trek to San Diego this past weekend for the Comic-Con orgy of cosplay and mass-media promotion and I’ve got the pics to prove it.
I had signings, slideshows, spoke at an inner-city “Counter Con” to promote the comic arts to kids and grabbed super chingon Simpsons creator Matt Groening and begged him draw a sketch at MY signing. (Sorry, Matt.) I also chased nerdos y nerdas in their Latino-inspired costumes and snapped photos of them.
I undertake this trying mission to document parts of the ultra-crowded convention so that you don’t have to go and get constantly elbowed in the knees by ewoks. Or have to hear fundamentalist Christian preachers warning throngs of people dressed as aliens that they are “going to burn in hell.”
Live long and prosper, and enjoy the show!
Peep the photo gallery here:
Mas…My photos from Comic-Con 2012 San Diego (and some extras)
East Los Angeles’ Las Cafeteras walk the walk with this rebel version of La Bamba. “Yo no soy marinero” becomes “Yo no creo en fronteras” and “Soy capitan” is now “Yo cruzare.” Son jarocho and alt.folklorico rootsy ritmo manifest the Spanish lyrics in sound, and we must offer POCHO props for super location videography in the hood!
Here’s an audio only version:
And did you know you could make your own cajon just like in the video (that’s the box drum)? We’ve got links and stuff.
Mas…Las Cafeteras: ‘La Bamba Rebelde’ from East Los (music video)
Remember how Chevrolet totally FAILED when they introduced the Chevy Nova (photo) because “no va” means “it doesn’t go” in Spanish and people all over Latin America just laughed and laughed at the stupid gringos and didn’t buy any Novas? That story is bullshit.
But English en Espanol can be as wack as Spanish in Ingles, and that’s why these Pocho Ocho Mexican products have bleak sales prospects in Los United Estates:
8. Bicho Killer insecticide
7. Her Pez canned tuna
6. Golden Piscina bubble bath
Mas…Pocho Ocho Mexican products unlikely to make it in the U.S.
Girl From Monterrey (1943): Mexican club singer Lita Valdez (Armida) is amazed to find that her younger brother Alberto is a talented boxer and is even more thrilled by his consistent success in the ring. Till [sic] he is forced to fight Jerry O’Leary, the man she loves. Caught between her devotion to both men, Lita tries her best to have the match canceled, but there is much more to the boxing racket than she had ever imagined…
This is a public domain video from the Internet Archive,where one of the commenters thinks he spots actor Jay Silverheels in the bar fight at 6:15…
LUNCHTIME JAM: “I love America, but boy can she be cruel,” ritmo maniac David Byrne sings. Yes, he is wearing a kilt.
And chair dance with more Byrne, this time in mambo-land:
Mas…David Byrne: ‘Miss America,’ ‘Make-Believe Mambo’ (music videos)
I have long said it is a Pocho Planet, and maybe you can make the case that it’s a Naco World as well!
We all know what a pocha or a pocho is, and the greatness and prestige that designation implies. But if you aren’t clear, or wondering what the hell naco means, watch this mun2 video featuring Gustavo Arellano, Jenni Rivera, Commander Adama plus many other cool folks. And me.
Thanks to the gente at mun2 for having me!
Naco was the Word of the Day at the Daily Texican in 2004
It’s everything you want in a movie! All your favorite characters in ONE SHORT TRAILER! The plot:
La Llorona is on trial, accused of killing her children, but she maintains they were stolen by El Chupacabra (who is also an evil narcotraficante.) Can pachuco luchador El Güey come to her rescue?
There’s a great news video about the production but we can’t embed it, so click here for a Lone Star Scene report from the Austin, TX movie set.
POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz is leaving Rancho Pocho in East Los to return his Olde Home Towne of San Diego this weekend for Comic-Con 2012. This video shows and tells how he plans to roll. Lalo’s site has the deets.
Dear Abuelita,
I’m a 43-year old married woman, but I think I fell in love with a 20-year old guy. I know he thinks of me as his mother and I have hinted my feelings for him but was rejected flat. Am I going through menopause? Midlife crisis? I can’t stop thinking about him and it’s been almost a year since I last saw him. How do I get over this?
Pendeja enamorada
Dear Pendeja enamorada,
Being obsessed with a firm 20-year-old muchacho is not love but it is a sure bet that you are a healthy 43-year old woman. You’re married, you’re bored, you’re feeling like a vieja way before your years and you’re horny. It’s natural.
BTW – I’m curious as to why he thought of you as his mother when you are only 23 years older than he is.
Did you try getting him to suck your tetas when riding the bus by tossing a rebozo over his head and popping them out? Maybe he was just the wrong guy to try that on. There are a lot of sick puppies out there into that sort of thing. So, I’ve heard.
Adoringly, Tu Abuelita
Mas…Dear Abuelita: Busty rebozo, itchy nalgas, chilly chi-chis
Hola. Is Tia Lencha here. Today I give you the recipe for Rajas con Crema. This was inspire by a trip to the store that sells Mexican things like dancing papier mâché skeletons, Frida Kahlo key chains, overpriced things for the wall. You know, is like Mexican Disneyland. I went in looking for a rebozo to give as a present for my comadre’s birthday.
I find the skinny hipster girl behind the cash register and I say, “Do you have any rebozos?”
“What’s that?” she say.
Anyone who knows Tia Lencha knows that she wanted to give the hipster girl a coco in la cabeza. “What do you mean what’s that? Is…a shawl…like you call it in English.”
“Oh. No,” she say.
“No what?”
“We don’t have those here,” she say. And she turn around like we were finish.
Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Rajas con crema if you don’t espeak English
¡La gente unida jamás será vencida! French-Chilean musician Ana Tijoux‘s new video Shock defends the rights of immigrants in Arizona.
Johnny Cash somehow manages a version of Ring of Fire en Español. Thanks to Remezcla for the link!
(PNS reporting from NEW YORK CITY) Major book publisher Vintage House Editions announced the release this week of a Latino version of the popular soft-porn bestseller Fifty Shades of Grey.
Written by Santa Fe-based author Carmen Camacho, Fifty Shades of Brown is the erotic tale of a young woman swept up by a charming, detached older man and their tumultuous path towards amor.
The Spanish version of the original book, 50 Tonos de Café, has already been optioned for a Univision telenovela to be titled Te Sigo Pegando.
“Fifty Shades of Brown was written with the Latino market in mind and includes culturally-specific elements like facial hair, tequila and charreada-style BDSM instead of just the normal kind,” according to Vintage House spokesman Tristan Caldwell. “We think we can tie this audience up.”
Mas…Will ‘Fifty Shades of Brown’ dominate Latino erotica market?
A seemingly-friendly contractor hires a migrant laborer for a house painting job but their relationship soon gets complicated. Will their man crush outlast the law?
They journeyed hundreds of miles to make a new life in a new land. They crossed borders, forded rivers and walked in the burning heat. But nobody expected the Zombie Migra!
Once upon a time in America, Latino kids were not allowed to speak Spanish in school. This documentary recalls those days.
In 1918, Texas, along with many other states, enacted statutes that made the speaking of any language other than English on public school grounds illegal. These laws remained active until the U.S. Congress passed the Bilingual Education Act in 1968.
Through personal interviews with distinguished leaders and educators — all native Spanish/English-speakers — When I Dream Dreams explores the complex psychological and social effects of these laws by relating the experiences of these people as students and, later, as teachers, professors, and legislators.
When I Dream Dreams was made by four students enrolled in an alternative media course at Trinity University in 2001. It has won prizes and festival appearances around the United States, including Best Student Film at the San Francisco Latino Film Festival 2002, Best of the Fest at Cine Accion 2002, and official selection at San Antonio’s Cine Festival 2002. The piece takes its name from the poem by Carmen Tafolla.
From Archive.org
Those eyebrows, that hair, those monkeys. Happy birthday Frida Kahlo! We celebrate your awesome influence on our pocho lives by listing the top eight ways you’ve influenced us.
8. Made us think we, too, could be an artist. After all, she painted her own reality, right?
7. Inspired us to stop plucking your eyebrows. Or maybe you just didn’t feel like a chola anymore.
6. Helped us fall in love. If Frida could love a crazy fat man like Diego Rivera, surely the love of your life — and his panza — are worth the ride, too!
Mas…Pocho Ocho ways birthday girl Frida Kahlo has influenced our lives
(PNS reporting from SILICON VALLEY) In honor of Mexican artist Frida Kahlo’s 105th birthday Friday, Google is featuring a special Google Doodle commemorating her contributions to international art.
Born on July 6, 1907, Kahlo was a surrealist painter and smoker who is best known for her brilliant self-portraits, her tragic life and her stormy relationships with such global figures as Diego Rivera, Leon Trotsky and Josephine Baker.
Kahlo was known to be uncompromising in her art, her politics and her famous monobrow, which launched a feminist revival and Fridamania craze in the 1990s and also extended the co-ed bisexual experimentation stage from one to two semesters.
Mas…Mexclusive: ‘Google Doodle’ honors Frida Kahlo’s 105th birthday!
La Chata’s Music Box presents spankin’-good Spanglish ska from Outernational – The Beginning Is Here, the first video from the activist New York collective’s latest CD (Todos Somos Ilegales We are All Illegal.) (NSFW lyrics.) The title track video (with special guest stars!) is right here, and the band is on the Pocho Hour of Power today at 4PM PDT on KPFK.
Astronaut Drew Feustel demonstrates how to assemble a burrito in zero-gravity outer espace. Yes, Georgia, Mexican food is the new American. And let us never forget Astronaut Jose Hernandez.
Eliot Chang just loves Spanish-language TV. Comic Yamil (“I’m Hispanic”) Piedra dislikes the very same shows, doesn’t think the comedies are funny, hates the dubbing and thinks the Spanish voices sound like they were recorded on the toilet. YMMV.
Mas…Comic video shoot-out! ‘I love Spanish TV’ vs ‘I hate Spanish TV’
Yup. You figured it out. A five-second-long explosive video meant to help your Spanish vocabulary. Click to play. What do you have to lose? OK. Five seconds of your life. Eight seconds if you include the opening and closing credits. And yet, having a good vocabulary is worth the time. Am I right, people? *applause*
Used to be you could always celebrate the Fourth of July along the border in the most patriotic way: by detonating illegal Mexican fireworks.
Here are some of our favorite dangerous Mexican fireworks from when men were men, and fireworks were weapons grade bundles o’ fun!
8. Guadalajara Guarheads
7. Tijuana TNT
6. La La La La La Bomba
(PNS reporting from ARIZONA) For fashionistas, this July 4 holiday season is less about parades and barbecues and more about flashing your passport, if you have one.
The new patriotic papers fashion flair follows the Supreme Court’s recent decision to uphold the “show me your papers” provisions of SB1070.
And now everybody wants those papers.
After the SCOTUS decision, the State Department’s passport website experienced the highest volume of traffic since Sarah Palin became the Republican Party’s nominee for Vice President in 2008.
Mas…Happy July 4, fashionistas! May I see your papers, please?
When we heard one of our favorite Hey Vato! episodes (The Tattoo) would be screening at the San Francisco Frozen Film Festival we knew it was time for a special Sabado Ponchonte Saturday Night Video Festival featuring EVERY episode of our favorite web series, in order, so here they are. Hey Vatos! Orale!
Mas…Complete ‘Hey Vato!’ NSFW existential angst of Chuy y Smiley (videos)
La Chata’s Music Box presents Mexican Institute of Sound with their new video Mexico. Elections Sunday, music today. Video directed by Jonas Cuaron (brother of Alfonso of Harry Potter/Y Tu Mama Tambien fame.)
Well, really, you have to laugh at the trailer. But how does the Dora the Explorer film, starring Ariel Winter (Modern Family), stack up against Dora La Conquistadora?
Here’s La Conquistadora now:
Mas…‘Dora the Explorer’ vs ‘Dora La Conquistadora’ (video shootout)
Captain Pocho vs the Red Skull (aka Jan Brewer) Just thought I’d draw something for POCHO regarding the SB1070 ruling for this Fourth of July weekend. As a Chicano comic book nerd and artist, this is the best way for me to strike back against the Wicked Witch of the Southwest.
Gabriel Tellez Jr. is the vato behind The Misadventures of Pepito and Juan, serialized this Spring on POCHO.
FIREWORKS: Mission Pocho Viejo American Legion Post 536 once again presents their Annual Fireworks Extravagonzo Wednesday at sunset. This year the pyrotechnics come from Zamboni Bros., new to California, with their presentation Hella Hockey Holiday – a tribute to the Estanley Cup World Champions, Los Reyes de Los Angeles. Moms: bring your blankets and sit the kids on the grass at Sotomayor Stadium. Dads: Do NOT bring your own fireworks.
INK AND DRINK: Two businesses in the El Rancho Pocho Downtown Historical District are getting together for a patriotic combo deal that’s hard to beat. Get any flag or patriotic tat at Inky Dinky’s House of Pain on Porciuncula Place Saturday through Monday and Inky will slide you a $10 pre-paid bar tab for the Loco Lounge next door. And guys, if you like thick chicks, you’ll love new tattoo artist Salma’s Fernando Botero-inspired portraits of your true hyna, right over your heart.