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WBAI (NYC) DJ Jay Smooth analyzes the Donald Sterling tape chingadera and wonders why adjudicated racist Sterling needed to get caught saying something before people got pissed. East Los homeboy Sterling has been an evil guy for years. And what about the the girlfriend?
PREVIOUSLY ON DONALD STERLING:
Mas…Jay Smooth: The multi-layered racism of Donald Sterling (video)
(PNS reporting from HOLLYWOOD) Stars from television, music and sports are set to gather in the old A&M sound stages (now the Henson Studios) on La Brea Avenue here today to record a rebuke to Donald Sterling, racist owner of the Los Angeles Clippers.
Galvanized by community organizer Emiliano Zapata Shabazz-Jones, who wears the mantle of slain civil rights pioneer Ricky Martin Luther King, the assembled stars will record The Donald Sterling Song — You Are An ^%$#.
“This ain’t no National Honky League,” Shabazz-Jones wrote in a scorching email scheduling the superstar session, “and we ain’t dancing to no Sweet Georgia Brown on Maggie’s Farm no more!”
Mas…Stars to record ‘You Are An ^%$#’ for Donald Sterling [photos,video]
Papa Ignacio is a pygmy albino donkey, Mama Rayas is your regular striped zebra. Ignacio used to sneak over from his farm to Rayas’ place at the zoo for some sexy time, and vice versa. Then nature took over and brought young zonkey Rayas to the zoo in Tamaulipas, MX. It’s a miracle because typically a chromosome mismatch keeps the two species from interbreeding. But that’s what they also said about La Malinche.
(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) Texas State Senator Dan Patrick, a Republican Lieutenant Governor wannabe, was named Pendejo of the Month Wednesday by the American Pochismo Institute (API.) The award followed his Univision debate Tuesday with San Antonio Mayor Julián Castro (photo.)
API’s designation, which is usually not revealed until the end of the month, was awarded Wednesday to Patrick for actions “Above And Beyond the Call of Douchery” after Patrick sent this Tweet Tuesday evening about how much he loves “Hispanics:”
Mas…Texas GOP politician’s Tweet makes him ‘Pendejo of the Month’
We don’t publish the deets of people who visit POCHO.COM or subscribe to our newsletter but we can assure you that Heidi Klum is neither a visitor nor a subscriber, although she’d be smart to remedy that personal failing ASAP. If she were a regular POCHO-naut, she’d never have consented to the red-face photo shoot for Germany’s Next Top Model.
Klum (photo, above) donned her red-face garb along with the other contestants, and published their photos on her Facebook page:
Mas…Heidi Klum to Natives: ‘You’re offended? Boy, is my face red!’ (photos)
(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) “It’s a sad day, ese,” said Ray “Code Boy” Santos, OG founder of area hacker clika MS2 (MS.DOS). “I saw the Windows XP Blue Screen of Death (BSOD) so often, he was mi hermano.”
“We used the XP version of Excel to tweak the hydraulics of Felipe’s ranfla. And I used to have weird dreams about the 3D pipes screensaver,” he told PNS Thursday. “All we had for music in those days was pinche Winamp, carnal, and we liked it!”
Mas…Local PC user laments passing of Windows XP: ‘RIP, BSOD!’
In 1963, President John F. Kennedy signed the Equal Pay Act which prohibits gender discrimination in wages. Back then, women made 59 cents on average for every dollar earned by men.
Fifty years later, women earn only 77 cents for every buck a guy gets, so the battle that Batgirl began is not over.
Mas…‘Equal pay’ battle that Batgirl began is a battle that’s still raging
U.S. Latinos went to the movies in 2013 way more often than other ethnic groups, according to the Motion Picture Association of America. Latinos are 17% of the population but account for 32% of moviegoers who went to more than one movie a month.
Here are the Pocho Ocho reasons why Latinos are Hollywood’s best customers:
8. Air conditioning
7. You can sneak in your own meal
6. Fewer crying kids than at a birthday party
Mas…Pocho Ocho reasons why Latinos are Hollywood’s best customers
A star-shaped OVNI/UFO outlined with glowing lights was captured on video as it flew over Medellin, Colombia in February.
“They’ve come to get us,” say the witness as they laugh.
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(PNS reporting from GUANAJUATO, MX) Trash collectors in the high-technology “Silicon Barrio” here have perfected a new technique for picking up basura that is greener and faster than traditional methods.
As this demo video shows, drivers in León never stop and re-start their trucks — which would mean wasted fuel and extra airborne pollution. Instead, they rely on inertia to keep the trucks on the route and advanced ballistics to perfect the trajectories that move the soft trash containers into the truck’s cavernous interior with a minimum of effort.
Mas…Mexican garbage men perfect low-impact trash collection (video)
The Golden State leads in nation in the number of active hate groups, according to the Southern Poverty Law Center.
California hosts 77 hate orgs, the report said. Florida was second with 58 groups of haters, and Texas placed third with 57.
Mas…We’re Number One! California leads nation in active hate groups
(PNS reporting from VATICAN CITY) The recent earthquakes in Southern California are a message from God, according to Pope Francis. The Almighty, he told a visiting delegation of American Catholics Monday, will shake things up until they are more gay.
“Lord knows this mortal world needs some bright flashes of color that aren’t suicide bomb explosions in crowded markets,” the Pontiff said.”And maybe some marigold-print cafe curtains in that drab nook over there.”
A tornado hit the town of Tangancicuaro in the Mexican state of Michoacán on March 22, damaging over 250 homes. This unedited, single-take home video features great play-by-play voiceover while the camera documents flying chonies and other debris. And enjoy the narrator’s colorful vulgar interjections! [NSFW Spanish audio.]
In Delano, the California Central Valley agricultural community where Cesar Chavez began the work that led to the formation of the United Farm Workers (UFW), immigrants and their children are now in charge.
Public Radio International Reports:
Mas…Immigrants now leaders in town where Chavez began [PRI audio]
The tricky choose-your-own race/ethnic questions in the 2010 United States Census didn’t work out as planned.
“As many as 6.2% of census respondents selected only “some other race” in the 2010 census (photo, top), the vast majority of whom were Hispanic,” the Pew Research Center reports.
The 2010 Census form asked two questions about race and ethnicity. First, people were asked whether they are of Hispanic, Latino or Spanish origin.
Then they were asked to choose one or more of 15 options that make up five race categories — white, black, American Indian/Alaska Native, Asian, or Native Hawaiian/Other Pacific Islander.
A separate question about Hispanic origin has been asked of all households since 1980, and the census form specifically instructs respondents that Hispanic origins are not races.
To address concerns about a rising share of “some other race” selections, a combined race and ethnicity question is under consideration for 2020 (photo, bottom), in which people would be offered all the race and Hispanic options in one place.
They could check a box to identify as white, black, Hispanic/Latino/Spanish origin, American Indian/Alaska Native, Asian, Native Hawaiian/Other Pacific Islander or some other race or origin.
Tea Partier Ted Cruz, the Canadian United States Senator (R-TX), hates avocados, the fruit of a tree native to Mexico and Central America, classified in the flowering plant family Lauraceae along with cinnamon, camphor and bay laurel.
We just learned from a blog post that this Canuckian “public servant” allegedly confessed his shameful prejudice in an interview last October, but sometime since then, the original evidence mysteriously disappeared.
(Crack Malaysian detectives are investigating the disappearance.)
Of course, this Grand Old Pendejo official has many other skeletors in his closet — the Pocho Ocho Other Things Sen. Ted Cruz Hates Besides Avocados:
8. LIFE cereal.
7. Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
6. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Mas…Sen. Ted Cruz hates avocados (allegedly) and Pocho Ocho other things
POCHO’s Comic Saenz wasn’t 100% sure where the Crimean Peninsula was on a map until last week, when Russia grabbed it, and he had no clue about the Strait of Malacca, where that Malaysian Airlines flight may have disappeared.
He had to look this stuff up on the Internets (photo), and maybe you did too.
That’s when we realized our geographical memory banks — and yours — might need a little shot of phresh knowledge, like this list of the Pocho Ocho Weird Geographical Chingaderas You Probably Never Heard Of:
8. Lake Tiacaca. Nowhere near the Andes, this stinky mess was discovered in your Aunt Anna’s bathroom after that thing with the sewer pipes.
7. The Chicano Triangle. This tortilla-chip-shaped segment of Southern California goes from Oxnard to San Diego to Indio. Many (traditionally) black and (predominantly) white neighborhoods formerly located in this area have disappeared from demographers’ charts.
6. The Straights of Esai. These large ribbed rock formations just north of Malibu bring ALL the boys to the yard.
Mas…Pocho Ocho weird geographic chingaderas you probably never heard of
The Argentinean Air Force Douglas DC4, TC-48, took off from Howard AFB in Panama on Nov. 3, 1965 with 68 on board — nine crewmembers and 59 cadets from the 31st class of the Military Aviation School. It was supposed to be their last training flight before graduation.
The so-called “cadet flight” was never seen again.
Will a new search expedition have better luck?
Mas…Deja vu all over again: Where in the world is Argentina’s TC-48?
Armadillo Motors has begun production and sales of the very first hecho en Mexico electric vehicle, La Hybridus, a bicicleta electrica. And it looks from the company’s Facebook page that they’ve got some local police departments on the delivery list:
Cuban-Canadian-American Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) is the best man for the next President of the United States, you Yankee hosers. With Sarah Palin as VP.
PREVIOUSLY ON TED CRUZ:
Mas…One Canadian’s Opinion: Sen. Ted Cruz for President (video)
Unless the pollution in the lakes and swamps of Mexico City isn’t drastically reversed, scientists say, there will be no more of the cute little axolotl salamanders living in the wild.
PREVIOUSLY ON AXOLOTLS:
Mas…Scientists say wild axolotls may be doomed to extinction (video)
Arizona Governor Jan Brewer won’t run again, she announced Wednesday, but said her retirement as governor won’t put an end to her dreams.
“A mule is an animal with long funny ears,” she told an audience at a school in Glendale, AZ, “she kicks up at anything she hears. Her back is brawny and her brain is weak, she’s just plain stupid with a stubborn streak. So when I walk out of this school, I’ll still remain a stupid mule.”
There are Pocho Ocho items on her bucket list, Brewja said:
8. Realize her dream of starting a clothing optional retreat with Sheriff Joe Arpaio
7. Spend more time with her coven
6. Convince George Lucas to cast her as Evil Yoda in the next Star Wars movie
(PNS reporting from the EAST LOS ANGELES) Pocholandia security officials issued a terrorist alert this morning prompted by the mysterious disappearance of Malaysia Airlines MH370 over the Gulf of Thailand or the Strait of Malacca or wherever that shit happened, yo.
“I am alerting you terrorist pendejos. Stay the hell out of East Los!“ said spokesman Gustavo “Little Lalo” Madrigal of the Minivan Crips, a volunteer neighborhood watch group.
“The AMERICAN ME ORANGE ALERT is the second highest alert classification used by the Pocholandia Security Advisory System, bitches, so watchale!” he added.
Graphics by Victor Payan via Hollywood Sign Generator and Personal Threat Level.
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