We Wish We Were There
“We totally knew this humongous dragon was comin’ brah, so we set up a Facebook page and got everyone down here with their bongos and pots and pans. Our sonic countermeasures commenced mere seconds after the sun-gobbling began,” a pot-banger named Donald Dank told PNS.
National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) officials confirmed the monster space dragon’s departure.
Mas…Giant Sun-eating space dragon chased away by pot-banging hippies
It was a silvery object 15 meters (50 feet) across, the witnesses said.
The excellent “Hispanic Ufology” blog Inexplicata reports:
[At]… 15:45 hours, residents of Paihuano, a small village in Valle de Elquí (Chile) underwent an extraordinary experience which keep its 2,500 residents on the edge of their seats. A flying object described as having a metallic color and measuring some 15 meters across remained motionless over the Las Mollacas hill, from which the entire town could be seen.Mas…Silver UFO crashes on hillside, retrieved by Chilean military (videos)
We might not know anything about them, but Anonymous knows almost everything about us, including stuff THE MAN doesn’t want YOU to know.
The modishly-masked online crusaders will soon shock our chakras with the truth about apocalyptic confluences predicted by the Mayan Calendar and aether-entities from outer espace. Predictably, the Mainstream Media New World Order 1% Wall Street Ivy League Illuminati White Elite is fighting back.
The recent Anonymous blipvert above, for example, was followed by UPenn (founded by life on Mars expert and immigrant hater Benjamin Franklin) joining the Illuminati conspiracy to discredit the Mayan Apocalypse Doomsday 2012 scenario.
One group of chronology-challenged eschatologists even claimed that a recently-discovered calendar — which is older than the Doomsday Calendar — somehow makes the newer calendar wrong. Doh! Illogical!
Mas…Opinion: We must fight the anti-Mayan Calendar Illuminati 1% (video)
Up in the sky, it’s a bird, it’s a plane it’s — Marcianos! Mexican investigators Jaime Maussan and Santiago Yturria Garza share exceptional videos of unexplained aerial phenomena that turned them from skeptics into believers.
Watch news footage as one Mexican mayor spots the “fleet” of luminous white OVNIs and says, “The Martians have arrived!” TV host Maussan calls for more citizen and media participation in compiling OVNI reports in this 90-minute presentation from 2006.
“The Martians Have Arrived” — Los Marcianos Llegaron Ya — was also a pop music hit in Mexico in 2005 by children’s music star Tatiana. Which came first — the sightings or the song? We have the video below.
Mas…Luminous white UFOs turn Mexican skeptics into believers (videos)
The diameter of the circle cut into the Tossi family’s sorghum field Wednesday night or Thursday morning is 25 meters — 82 feet across. The transformation of the consenusal reality of the small town of Las Perdices in Argentina’s Tercero Arriba district is yet to measured.
Who — or what — made the circle? Is it of earthly origin? Or did an OVNI leave evidence of a brief terrestrial tango? We have more of the story and an incredible video report of a cow abducted by a UFO in Argentina, below.
Mas…Argentina WTF: Crop circle? UFO landing site? Cow abduction? (video)
This video comes directly from TrueReality.org so you know it’s right:
Irrefutable Evidence of ExtraTerrestrial Contact carved in Stone Thousands of Years ago on Pre-Mayans site. We shall finally change our History’s Books and let humanity knows our True Origins. The World is wakening up! Share the video with your parents and let everyone discuss it rationally and openly.
Part 2 below.
Mas…Share with your parents: UFO Mayan secrets, ancient aliens revealed
Experts from Argentina’s leading ufologist group Vision OVNI are investigating strange skid marks where some say an objeto volador no identificado landed in a farmer’s field in the northeastern province of Santa Fe.
Inexplicita explains the inexplicable this way:
A cornfield that appeared to display strange marks caused astonishment to many citizens of the town of Pujato… The event prompted a visit from member of Visión Ovni, the Victoria-based group devoted to the study of unidentified flying objects.
On 5 April, cornstalks standing 2 meters tall were found flattened in the same direction in the middle of a lot. The field is some 2 kilometers distant from Route 33 and the marks were found by Rubén Marelli, the owner, who presented a complaint on the following day…During a field survey, they found a trail measuring 2.10 meters wide and nearly 600 meters long, which presents side trails that open and mark a sort of figure eight, doubling back on themselves.
Scroll down for two big photos of the tracks. What do you think?
Mas…Paranormal investigators investigate Argentina cornfield OVNI tracks
The crew of the USS Chocstromo really should have seen this coming.
“The mysterious Dudley Dorito UFO has been spotted for the fourth time in five years flying through a cloudless sky over woodland in Yorkshire,” reports Britain’s The Sun:
The object, which looks like an extra-terrestrial tortilla chip, was captured by an amateur cameraman who posted the footage on YouTube. He can be heard saying “I don’t know what that is” as the triangular aircraft glides silently across the frame above a forest in the north of England.
The UFO was dubbed the Dudley Dorito after its first sighting over the Midlands in 2007 but it is unclear whether the YouTube footage is real or a hoax.
*(SACRAMENTO) A judge ruled Thursday afternoon that Democratic candidate José Hernández can indeed call himself an “astronaut” on the official ballots for U.S. Congress, according to a late report from the California state capital.
(SACRAMENTO March 26) He’s a NASA veteran who has been to the International Space Station and back and here we have a photo of him in his pinche space suit, but GOP lawyers who oppose Democrat José Hernández’s bid for seat in the U.S. Congress are demanding he stop calling himself an “astronaut.”
Unless Californian Hernandez can prove he is still an astronaut, the lawyers say, he has to stop referring to himself using that title.
“Astronaut is not a title one carries for life,” Republican operatives asserted in a lawsuit filed in Sacramento County last week.
The suit notes that Hernandez did not make any money from NASA last year. From the Fresno Bee:
Mas…GOP to José Hernández: Where’s your space certificate? *Updated
Just around the time actual Latino astronaut José Hernández was born, actor and comic Bill Dana (not a Latino) got famous playing José Jiménez, a sweet but dimwitted astronaut with a thick Latino accent.
It was the beginning of the Space Race and astronauts were America’s new heroes, but the very idea of a Chicano in space was a joke.
Mas…Meet America’s first Latino astronaut: José Jiménez (audio video)
Almost three dozen sheep lie dead in a corral in Michoacan and one witness blames a creature with fangs and wings. From Britain’s Daily Mail:
When farmers in Mexico found 35 of their sheep slaughtered with significant claw and tooth marks around their necks, they had one creature to blame – the legendary chupacabra. One man tending to the sheep overnight in the small Mexican town of Paracuaro said he saw animals with sharp fangs and wings kill the livestock. Dubbed the ‘Bigfoot of Latin culture,’ the chupacabra is a legendary four-legged creature that many think is responsible for attacking and killing livestock.
But how does a flying chupacabra compare with a flying purple people eater? And who wants to actually SEE a flying saucer? Two music videos below provide the answers
Mas…Flying chupacabra kills 35 sheep in Michoacan (three videos)
8. If you spend your time looking up, someone will steal your wallet.
7. The only real flying object threat is a chancla.
6. We find the word “alien” pejorative and didactic. (Don’t hate on PhDs)
Mas…Pocho Ocho reasons Latinos don’t usually encounter UFOs (videos)
What do you think of this video of a UFO buzzing Mexico City?
Before X Files claimed “the truth is out there,” before anyone heard of the Mayan Apocalypse, visionary Bill Barker raised the alarm, warning the few who would listen about the real illegal immigration threat – the imminent invasion of Gray Aliens from Outer Espace.
For a while, anyhow. Then he went over to Their Side.
Hollywood-born Barker, who recently approached POCHO to sugarcoat his poison meme, claimed:
I “parquito the espanale” a little. And I was raised in East L.A., near Maywood.
This human sellout — channeling thought emanations from Zeta Reticuli — created, built, staffed and managed the SCHWA Corporation, the holding company of the grays. His mission? Carry out the commands of the Alien Overlords and complete the domination of Earth and its clueless Stick People.
Barker proudly gave POCHO his SCHWA World Operations Manual so we could make this video, ribbed for your protection.
Mas…SCHWA the Video: Dear ‘Stick People’ – Your Alien Overlords are here
A science fiction flick hitting theaters in April could turn out to be the SuperPAC-funded film that will finally get Newt Gingrich elected President of the United States.
It has all the elements of a hit movie: flying saucers, the moon, Nazis and Newt Gingrich!
(PNS reporting from PHILADELPHIA) Local publisher Benjamin “Sparky” Franklin (Poor Richard’s Almanac) is shocked by all the non-English-speaking dark-skinned foreigners in the City of Brotherly Love and worries about how our planet appears to residents of Venus and Mars.
The “swarthy” German newcomers are too stupid to learn English, the Society Hill resident charged in a recent newsletter:
(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDA) The moon was high on the debate agenda last night as Gov. Mitt Romney and former Rep. Newt Gingrich crossed lightsabers with both candidates fighting hard to capture the crucial lunar vote.
The encounter, held at Farpoint Station Laser Tag in Orlando, was the 79th GOP debate and the last before Tuesday’s primary election.
Gingrich, his arms unfurled, set the tone by calling for the establishment of a permanent base on the moon by the year 2020. Gingrich has also set this date as a deadline for establishing a new marriage with a heretofore unexplored Mrs. Gingrich #4.
Warning that the Chinese would dominate outer space if the U.S.A. does not step up in the moonbase race, Gingrich said “Frankly, the Chinese can probably set up the first Panda Express on the moon in 30 minutes or less.”
Outer espace especial correspondent UFOHunter, the man behind ¡PutaNASA!, is back.
Building on his groundbreaking expose of the links between Mayan Doomsday 2012, gray aliens on the Moon and NASA UFO coverups, Orlando-based Hunter
Then he asks the obvious question: IS THIS THE SOUND OF THE MOTHERSHIP?
Not safe for work.
(PNS reporting from MIAMI) The imminent crash – later this week – of a Russian space probe scares local spiritual gurus and national experts alike. All of them fear that the death dive of the Russki rocket is a Cosmic Warning of the Mayan Doomsday, scheduled for Dec. 21. Their big brains, however, are split on ways to prevent the Beginning of the End.
“Oh it’s easy,” one local specialist told PNS. “Just burn the candles.” Futurologist Pat Robertson’s advice is just one word: “Run!”
Russians espace commissars have predicted that fragments from the failed Phobos-Ground probe are expected to fall to Earth around Jan. 15.
What can an ordinary person do?
“Candles, definitely lots of candles,” said S.W. 46th St. curandero Alejandro “La Luz de Jesus” Sosa.
Mas…Russki space junk crash brings Mayan Doomsday – are we screwed?
