Pocho Ocho top reasons for Brazil vs Alemania futbol FAIL
Tuesday’s disastrous Brazil-Germany FIFA2014 World Cup futbol match, which ended in Germany whipping the host country 7-1, has saddened the nation (photo.) And on Wednesday, Brazil’s soccer fans were struggling to understand what exactly went wrong.
We analyzed press and social media reactions and translated from the Portuguese to bring you their Pocho Ocho top reasons for Brazil’s FAIL:
8. Blame it on the bossa nova, with its magic spell.
7. All those pesky Hitler clones on the Brazil team let Germany win.
6. Alemania? We thought we were playing Ally McBeal!
Mas…Pocho Ocho top reasons for Brazil vs Alemania futbol FAIL
Tia Lencha’s Cocina: How ju make chilaquiles for the World Cup
Hello. Is Tia Lencha here. I haves the World Cup feber. Do ju?
Is the feber ju get from watching the World Cups and being so mad at the referees and Holland and wonder who put brujeria on Brazil, that ju want to hit the telebision with a cuchara from the kishen. But I watch the games anyways.
The only gway I can watch the games now is to drink some micheladas to make me want to hit the telebision less times. So today I tell ju how to make chilaquiles to go with the beers that ju need in order to watch the games of the third place and the finals this week.
First the ingrediens:
- Tortillas (the more estale the better, like the U.S. defense except for Howard’s)
- Corn oil (slippery oil like the FIFA)
Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: How ju make chilaquiles for the World Cup
Zombies in the Hood, A True Story (video)
Sometimes you feel like a zombie, sometimes you need to just pop a cap on his pinche butt. Especially when they sing and dance! [SFW but gangs, guns, gore.]
PREVIOUSLY ON ZOMBIES:
Frida the Luchadora: ‘The Legend of the Flying Tomato’ (video)
Red-headed Frida wants to triumph in lucha libre but she needs to find some inner strength first, not to mention her secret ingredient.
PREVIOUSLY ON LUCHA LIBRE:
Mas…Frida the Luchadora: ‘The Legend of the Flying Tomato’ (video)
Sprechen Sie Deutsch? The Border Patrol says ‘Willkommen!’ (video)
Just like President John F. Kennedy who charmed the world with this line in the 1960s, “Ich bin ein berliner” is magic.
PREVIOUSLY ON BORDER PATROL:
Mas…Sprechen Sie Deutsch? The Border Patrol says ‘Willkommen!’ (video)
White Boy ChIcano (a poem)
White Boy Chicano
It’s an identity crisis
My parents are Mexican migrants, who stay busy all the time
Spanish is my first language, then almost losing it because of time
My TV only showed Mexicans involved in crime
The stereotypes didn’t represent me
My school peers didn’t believe me
I wasn’t Mexican or White
Being a gringo and Mehican left me asking,
Who am I? Where do I belong to?
Pinche White Boy
That Bollywood Elvis Presley movie with the botas picudas (video)
Remember? Elvis Presley, the King of Rock and Roll, went to India in 1989 and shot a chips commercial wearing pointy boots? You don’t remember ever seeing it? Here it is. You’re welcome.
Las Cafeteras: This Land Is Your Land (music video + lyrics)
East Los homies Las Cafeteras are back with a son jarocho version of the Woody Guthrie’s classic This Land Is Your land with acoustic aplomb and some updated Spanglish lyrics:
Mas…Las Cafeteras: This Land Is Your Land (music video + lyrics)
Lalo Alcaraz on ‘Illegal Interns’ (2000 video)
POCHO compa Flavio Morales just uploaded this gem to Vimeo. Here’s how he describes it:
Around Our Town: Where to go, what to do for July 4th weekend
FIREWORKS: Mission Pocho Viejo American Legion Post 536 once again presents their Annual Fireworks Extravagonzo Friday at sunset. This year the pyrotechnics come from Zamboni Bros., new to California, with their presentation Hella Hockey Holiday – a tribute to the Estanley Cup World Champions, Los Reyes de Los Angeles.
Moms: bring your blankets and sit the kids on the grass at Sotomayor Stadium. Dads: Do NOT bring your own fireworks.
INK AND DRINK: Two businesses in the El Rancho Pocho Downtown Historical District are getting together for a patriotic combo deal that’s hard to beat. Get any flag or patriotic tat at Inky Dinky’s House of Pain on Porciuncula Place Friday through Sunday and Inky will slide you a $10 pre-paid bar tab for the Loco Lounge next door. And guys, if you like thick chicks, you’ll love new tattoo artist Salma’s Fernando Botero-inspired portraits of your true hyna, right over your heart.
Mas…Around Our Town: Where to go, what to do for July 4th weekend
For July 4, try these Pocho Ocho favorite Mexican fireworks
Used to be you could always celebrate the Fourth of July along the border in the most patriotic way: by detonating illegal Mexican fireworks.
Here are some of our favorite dangerous Mexican fireworks from when men were men, and fireworks were weapons grade bundles o’ fun!
8. Guadalajara Guarheads
7. Tijuana TNT
6. La La La La La Bomba
Mas…For July 4, try these Pocho Ocho favorite Mexican fireworks
Update Facebook Status: What’s on your mind? (video)
Is this the real life, is this just fantasy? On Facebook, you never know.
PREVIOUSLY ON FACEBOOK:
Watch: In Brazil, one fútbol fan floats some social criticism
How’s your Portuguese? The LiveLeak uploader says this high-tech balsero is yelling “Why do we need hospitals, roads, schools and public security if we have the World Cup? Give [me] my beer to enjoy this shit!”
Chicano anti-war activist found in Canada after 44 years
(PNS reporting from MONTREAL) A Los Angeles man who had not been heard from since he fled to Canada in 1970 to avoid the Vietnam War draft has been found in Montreal, according to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.
When Albert “Sleepy” Dominguez missed the 1970 Chicano Moratorium in Los Angeles, noone knew he had quietly slipped out of the country the night before to go underground and avoid conscription to Vietnam.
Dominguez, then 19 years old, went so underground that neither family, friends nor the U.S. government could locate him to inform him that he was never, in fact, drafted.
Mas…Chicano anti-war activist found in Canada after 44 years
Scientists find cache of 25 Peruvian ‘quipus’ – Inca calculators
Scientists investigating the archaeological complex of Incahuasi, south of Lima, have uncovered 25 well-preserved quipus.
The 600-year-old strings are an example of the technology of the Inca civilization, which never developed a written language.
Quipu – also called “khi-pus” or “talking knots” – are made up of colored spun thread, and sometimes, llama or alpaca hair.
The ornately knotted strings are thought to have helped in record-keeping, when authorities wanted to monitor items such as taxes and population.
Bouncy castle for adults is filled with boobies (video)
It’s boobs, chi-chis, ta-tas, hooters, tetas and breasts galore inside this bounce house for adults.
But haven’t we seen a breast-filled rubber room before? From one of MR. POCHO’s favorite bands?
Yes, we have, but we can’t run it here. 🙂 Click to peep this NSFW video from Mexican rockers Molotov with Rastamandita, the “Full Tetas Version.”
PREVIOUSLY ON CHI-CHIS:
Brazil: Topless body builder futbol fans flex for the camera
Futbol fans went topless to flaunt their ripped torsos for the camera and World Cup FIFA Fan Fest crowds in Sao Paolo Saturday.
Guy practices L.A. driving directions like his Mexican mom (video)
OMAIGA! Practice makes perfect, as Francisco Hernandez tries to get his Mexican-mom-style driving directions exactly right.
‘Mexican Elephant’ loves futbol, so TGIF and ‘Shabbat Shalom’ (video)
We don’t know why this video is called Mexican Elephant, or why the commentary is in Hebrew, since we think this footage was shot in Thailand. Nevertheless, we agree with the announcer: Shabbat Shalom! !שַׁבָּת שָׁלוֹם
Columbus-ing: Gringos discovering ‘new’ things that aren’t new (video)
QUESTION: What do you call it when white hipsters “discover” new things that aren’t new?
ANSWER: Columbus-ing.
Wait.
What do you call it when College Humor dot com, who just released this ^^^^ video, discovers a June 6 La Cucaracha toon by POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz?
PREVIOUSLY ON DISCOVERIES:
Mas…Columbus-ing: Gringos discovering ‘new’ things that aren’t new (video)
Throwback Thursday: Lalo Alcaraz’s ‘Virtual Varrio’ (1996) ;-{>
In 1996, The Daily Pennsylvanian, the student newspaper of the University of Pennsylvania, reported on a presentation by POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz at the 14th annual Festival Latino de Penn.
You won’t believe what happened next!
Actually, nothing happened next — it happened a few years before 1996. Que? POCHO Jefe-de-Content Comic Saenz was Managing Editor of VERY SAME The Daily Pennsylvanian when he went to Penn and he planted that Lalo story in a future edition by means of his WordPress wormhole publishing prowess, which powers this POCHO.COM you are reading right now!
Lalo has remained true to his mission. At the festival, he unveiled his plans for POCHO.COM, his vision for a virtual varrio on the Internets, where ordinary people can control their own media:
Chicano cartoonist entertains students
By ANJALI KUMAR · March 28, 1996, 5:00 amCartooning is not what it used to be, according to Chicano political cartoonist Lalo Alcaraz.
Alcaraz spoke Monday night in Houston Hall, opening up the 14th annual Festival Latino de Penn.
Mas…Throwback Thursday: Lalo Alcaraz’s ‘Virtual Varrio’ (1996) ;-{>