Check out RealLifeStarter, a new crowdfunding web site that allows you to bribe adult children into finally giving up their unrealistic, “creative” dreams.
PEOPLE WHO LIKE KICKSTARTER PARODIES ALSO LIKE THESE VIDEOS:
Mas…RealLifeStarter: Raise money to help your ‘kids’ get real (video)
Loving you…is easy ’cause you’re beautiful, as this “super-cut” of creepy movie kisses shows. La la la la la la la.
Love is in the air for Valentine’s Day, along with cries for immigration reform, economic fairness and equal justice.
Is there a way for the politically active pocha or pocho to get lucky AND make the world a better place?
Yes, there is! Check out our list of the Pocho Ocho top activist pickup lines you can use this Valentine’s Day:
8. What do we want? A quiet romantic dinner for two! When do we want it? Friday night — what do you think — 8-ish?
7. What’s a nice girl like you doing in a MEChA like this?
6. Is that a GMO-free organic sustainably-raised earth-friendly heirloom local family farm non-corporate elote in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Mas…Pocho Ocho top activist pickup lines for Valentine’s Day
“If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with” may be good advice, but can there be too much of a good thing? Happy Valentime’s Day to all the lovers!
A row of bald-headed, broad-shouldered young men stand together in the middle of a small smoky dance club called Sound Base. They wear well pressed Dickies pants, Locs (wrap-around shades), extra-long flannel shirts or long cotton athletic shirts in black and gray. A few had T-shirts with images of lowrider cars as well as cholas and cholos. In the club’s parking lot, adjacent to a lumberyard, several lowered 1950s and 1960s Detroit-built cars display airbrushed murals and shiny chrome, the one exception being a caramel brown 1941 Chevy truck.
On the stage are two members of Quetzal, one of East Los Angeles’ most popular bands: Quetzal Flores and his long-time companion, Martha Gonzalez. Flores strums a jarana, a traditional stringed instrument from the Mexican Gulf port state of Veracruz. Gonzalez is seated astride a cajon, also used extensively in the Son Jarocho tradition of that state, and thumps with her hands and fingers a driving cadenced beat as she sings in Spanish and English, words heavily tinged with Mexican/Xicano cultural and political significance.
Every once in awhile, a book comes out that inspires us to take a trip down memory lane. Such a book asks us to reflect on what was and will never be again. If we only knew then what we know now, things would be different we are fond of saying often as we look back at those past moments we now cherish forever in our hearts. These types of books bring tears of joy and even sadness as we remember both the endless hours of laughter and the heartbreaks that at one time encapsulated who were in our lives.
Even so, rare is the book that also reminds us that we do not need to look back in melancholia, but we should use the past to redefine our present and build for the future. At the same time, these occasional books help to break down accepted mainstream narratives or paradigms while urging us to reclaim both our historical space, and our cultural motifs in order to recover our collective memories of who we are as a people.
Mas…Lowriting: Shots, Rides & Stories from the Chicano Soul [book review]
Art Meza sent us three photos from Lowriting, like this shot of a Chicana who knows you can’t go lowrider cruising without the hoop earrings and ink. Click to enlarge. In case you didn’t see it, the Lowriting book review is here.
This lowered Chevy Bel-Air coupe with fender skirts is a sweet ride:
You could be rich and famous*That’s right — you sitting there in your PJs, bunny slippers and Frida Kahlo unibrow.
After all, you know better than other people on the Internets, and if you’re so smart, why aren’t you rich?
Donut despair! You can turn your Aztlan acumen into fame y fortune in a matter of weeks, and
These are the factoids:
This is a proven method that
Mas…Contribute to POCHO, get discovered, become rich and famous*
Do you pochos know the Post hoc ergo propter hoc logical fallacy? It’s an argument — a false one — that asserts that if one event follows another, the first event caused the second.
Thank God it’s a fallacy. Two weeks ago POCHO’s Subcommandanta del Ñews Sara Inés Calderón was in Colombia. And then, over the weekend, Colombian hipsters were marching down the streets of Medellin in their chonies.
Little love scamp Latino Cupid presents his special Valentine’s Day cards for tough times. As they say around here, Happy Valentimes Day!
The competition is heating up and Americans are glued to their big screen TVs to see who will be America’s Next Serial Killer. We’re betting on Jesus Marin. [NSFW adult language.]
POCHO’s migrant bit-farmers have been hard at work harvesting 0‘s and 1‘s so you can get our brand new POCHO DAILY ÑEWS in your email inbox every morning.
Don’t miss a story — sign up now!
Hola. Is Tia Lencha here. Happy Valemtines Day!
I haf the perfect parry idea. What is red and espicy and uses a blindfold? Get jur mind out of the basura (thas trash for you pochos.) Is the Valentimes Hot Sauce Taste Test. This is one test that is fun to estudy for!
What is it? Ju put numbers on little paper cups and then little bit of each of jur favorite hot sauces in the little paper cups. Ju can use Tapatio, Cholula, Bufalo, Red Rooster, what ever ju like. Then ju put a handkerchief to cover someone’s eyes and they taste. They try to guess which hot sauce is in each little cup. Fun, no?
Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Valentine’s Day Hot Salsa Blind Tasting Test
Sara Inés Calderón — POCHO’s Subcommandanta del Ñews and @SaraChicaD on the Tuiter — is facing Valentine’s Day without a boyfriend, a novio. Her grandmother recommends a statue of St. Anthony, the marriage saint; with San Antonio, according to her abuela, she won’t miss the love train.
Gringo Patrick DeGuire grew up in Southern California so he knows his comida mexicana [NSFW adult humor.]
PREVIOUSLY ON TACO BELL:
Mas…Gringo explains: Taco Bell is not Mexican food (NSFW video)
Fifty years ago tonight, pop music was reborn when four lads from Liverpool astounded America with their debut performance on the Ed Sullivan Show. They write their own songs, you say? They play their own instruments? They sing, too? In the era of Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello and manufactured “teen entertainment,” the Beatles were revolutionary. In this fan-dub video, the lovable Mop Tops sing a (deservedly obscure?) Spanish version of And I Love Her.
Los Beatles weren’t universally popular, however. The band’s debut was “appallingly unmusical” and “destined to fade away,” critics wrote.
“After testing samples from five of Peru’s 300 elongated Paracas skulls, a geneticist has finally released the results and they are mind-blowing,” The Anomalist reports:
The mysterious skulls found … within a gigantic graveyard contain mitochondrial DNA that shows mutations not found in humans. In other words, these guys were not human. Or at the very least were human-like.
Anyone can make a video of San Diego low riders hopping, and lowrider fans partying. But not everyone can set it to operatic music. Filmmaker Gloria Morán, of San Francisco, did just that.
PREVIOUSLY ON LOWRIDERS:
(PNS reporting from GUANAJUATO, MX) Hundreds of competitors and an equal number of spectators are expected for the opening of the first Xochitl Games here tomorrow.
The so-called “Indigenous Olympics,” organized by the Nahuatl Athletic Council Organization (NACO), hopes to share some of the buzz from the regular Winter Olympics, in Sochi.
NACO is especially counting on people who are unsure how to spell the name of the Black Sea resort city in the Google search window, or even better, can’t spell when booking airplane and hotel reservations through Travelocity.
Mas…Breaking: Hundreds expected Friday at Mexico’s Xochitl Games
Brandon Calvillo tells his friend David Lopez that he, Brandon, is half Mexican. Lopez, it seems, is not all that pumped.
[Remember, with these Vine videos, you need to hover and click on the top left corner of the graphic to hear the audio.]
PREVIOUSLY ON VINE VIDEOS:
What exactly is life like for white Americans in America? Eddie Murphy went undercover to find out.
PREVIOUSLY ON WHITE LIFE:
Mas…Black History Video: Eddie Murphy goes undercover as ‘Mr. White’
If you’re a guajalote, be sure to watch this important message from a turkey with a vaguely-Latino accent of some sort. And “Spanish” guitars.
We can’t track the original of this photo to give its creator props, so we’ll just heartily thank all Internet-enabled photographers, wherever they are. And whatever they want to be called, tambien. After all, what’s in a name?
PREVIOUSLY ON WHITE PEOPLE:
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(PNS reporting from FORT WORTH, TX) Leon Ortiz (photo, center) was scrolling through his Facebook newsfeed last week when he saw a post that changed his life forever. The post, co-authored by former President Bill Clinton (photo, left) and pop star Kayne West (photo, right), celebrated the importance of following your dreams.
“You know, I think it was Fate — with a capital ‘F.’ It was 3:42 PM on a Thursday and I was feeling frustrated at my account manager job at an international insurance company. I felt a spiritual lightness I had never experienced before,” the Arlington Heights man told PNS.
“It was amazing, like all my ennui and weltschmerz was gone!”
Mas…Breaking: Fake Facebook post changes Fort Worth man’s life
Alt.country singer-songwriter Steve Earle moved to New York and fell in love with his new City of Immigrants.
PREVIOUSLY ON NON-LED ZEPPELIN IMMIGRANT SONGS:
Mas…Country star Steve Earle loves NYC, his ‘City of Immigrants’ (video)
The Aztecs and Mayans released the magic of chocolate (originally, xocolatl) to the world, only to lose the industry to Europe. Now, growing and processing chocolate in Mexico is virtually an An Act of Resistance. Video by The Perennial Plate. To find out about food tours like this, check out Intrepid Travel.
Sunday’s Coca Cola’s Super Bowl commercial spotlighting America the Beautiful (sung in the languages of immigrants who built and continue to build our country) predictably pissed off the Internet haters who have been waiting to dis little patriotic kids since Sebastien de la Cruz sang The Star-Spangled Banner at last year’s NBA finals.
Didn’t see it? Not pissed off enough? Some people love America in Arabic:
Mas…‘America the Beautiful’ in Spanish pisses off the haters (videos)
