Upon hearing the sad news of the sudden death of Whitney Houston, I knew I had to draw something to mark this tragic passing. Please share this page if you enjoy my simple cartoon tribute.
Coming soon: Gingrich’s moonbase documentary ‘Iron Sky’
A science fiction flick hitting theaters in April could turn out to be the SuperPAC-funded film that will finally get Newt Gingrich elected President of the United States.
It has all the elements of a hit movie: flying saucers, the moon, Nazis and Newt Gingrich!
Ñewsweek: Chente, Los Grammys and @MexicanMitt
Vicente Fernandez, Los Grammys and the continuing adventures of presidential hopeful @MexicanMitt were the big stories this week on POCHO:
- The Grammys were faced with a boycott led by Latino artists calling themselves Los 60%.
- Mexican singing superstar Vicente Fernandez announced both his upcoming retirement and plans to open a Las Vegas casino called Guadalajara, Guadalajara.
- GOP wannabe @MexicanMitt released his first TV commercial and claimed the title of The Most Mexican Man in the World.
- An angry Arizona legislator called for a Caucasian Appreciation Day to highlight the achievements of the patriotic white citizens that are routinely ignored in America’s foremost Hate State.
- A Mississippi legislator offered a bill to rename the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America. Unlike the Arizona hater, he was joking.
- New contributor Tia Lencha offered a nopalitos recipe for gringos y pochos.
- A helpful video offered advice on How to Be A Cholo and Supreme Court Associate Justice Sonia Sotomayor showed up on Sesame Street for a cafecito.
- POCHO Jefe-in-Chief shared a cartoon tribute to Whitney Houston.
Sabado Pochonte Video: Puro Party – Celebrating A Genocide
You’ll laugh, you’ll cry and you’ll yell at this video. Just don’t shoot the screen, like Elvis. Puro Party — Celebrating A Genocide: Every year, San Antonio, TX, stages Fiesta, a 10-day celebration to honor Texas’ defeat of Mexico in the battle of San Jacinto — the Alamo, remember? This 1992 video takes Fiesta as a metaphor for the colonization of this predominantly Chicano city as an opportunity to explore Aztlan/Chicano identities. This public-domain video has been uploaded to YouTube by POCHO to make it viewable for the first time on iOS devices like iPads and iPhones.
‘My Latina grandmother’ — from Elise Roedenbeck (NSFW)
Peruvian-born Elise Roedenbeck is a professional geek by day and a stand-up comedian at night. The slut thing didn’t work out for her.
Music: Ozomatli ‘City of Angels’ (video)
Eclectic homies Ozomatli love Los Angeles. Two bandmembers say this about their hometown:
Mississippi: Rename Gulf of Mexico to ‘Gulf of America’
A Mississippi state lawmaker introduced legislation Tuesday that would rename the Gulf of Mexico the “Gulf of America.”
According to state Rep. Stephen Holland’s bill, the name would apply only to his home state, much to the relief of embarrassed neighboring states.
Ironically, Holland chose to rename this international body of water “Gulf of America,” not understanding that “America” is the name of the whole American hemisphere, mainly because the word “hemisphere” is twice as long as most words the average Mississippian legslator understands.
@MexicanMitt TV ad: ‘The Most Mexican Man In The World’
(PNS reporting from an undisclosed Goat Ranch in Chihuahua) Mexican Mitt Romney’s headquarters here today released their first television commercial, a tribute to the “most Mexican man in the world.” This ad shows why @MexicanMitt is the leader of the Juan Percent. He doesn’t always make TV commercials, but when he does, they’re pinche funny. Stay wealthy, my friends.
Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Nopales for gringos y pochos
Gwell, I am writing this blogue porque my son said that we went on the google because he was doing a reporte for school.
Y you know what happened when he typed “Mexican Chef”? He said a white guy from Oklahoma popped up first, like he was the most important chef in Mexico or something. So, he tole me I can make better tamales than this gringo with a white mustache and I tole him, yeah, I can.
My pobre son is a little pocho, so him and other pochitos out there have to learn how to make the real food from our homeland. None of that nouveau Latin cuisine shit. My comadre tole me I’m too Mexican for the Food Network. I tole her I don’t want to be on camera anygway cuz I hate my arms.
My blogue is not gonna be call “Spicy It Up” or “Super Delicioso” or nothing like that. There is no going to be no salsa music (whish is Cuban by the gway) playing in the background. Is just me, Tia Lencha, in my cocina with my apron and my son typing on his computer.
S. J. Rivera: My Guantanamo Bay self-deportation book tour
(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDA) Ace Pocho Ñews Service contributor, author and hardcore poet (Demon in the Mirror and Amerikkkan Stories) S. J. Rivera sat down to talk to himself about his Self-Deportation Book Tour and what it’s like to have a book signing at Guantanamo Bay.
PNS: Your new book is AmeriKKKan Stories (Hardcore Poetry) – is it a Klan book or…?
S. J. Rivera: Yes and no. Actually there’s a very true story in there about the time I ran a guy over with my car. His name was Donny and I hit him on purpose because he may or may not have been in the klan(Hi, Donny!) There’s stuff in there about redneck zen, badmouthing the government, pochismo, fat Elvis, EMS horror stories, McDonald’s Nazis – you name it, it’s in there.
Mas…S. J. Rivera: My Guantanamo Bay self-deportation book tour
Amerikkkan Stories hardcore poetry excerpt: ‘Soy Ilegal’
Since the beginning we, la raza odiada
the hated race
have been caught in the middle
just as we are now
between the fall of Tenochtitlan
and the migrant farms that feed a nation
in this modern day version of divide and conquer
1492
1942
2010
what’s the fucking difference?
we are all just a bunch of savages
pachucos y wetbacks
soy ilegal
Mas…Amerikkkan Stories hardcore poetry excerpt: ‘Soy Ilegal’
Write the best church sign message and win something cool! *
We had lots of fun last night with the “church sign generator” at Says-it.com and came up with this little image which we thought would make for a good contest.
In the comments below, write your suggested language for the sign.
Funniest entry wins.
Contest ends at midnight and we’ll send the winner something cool!
And the winner is Nora Guadalajara! Click on [Mas…] or scroll down to see her winning entry.
Mas…Write the best church sign message and win something cool! *
Justice Sotomayor: Tea, justice and Spanglish on Sesame Street
New Sesame Street video features Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor serving up Spanglish, tea, and justice in the case of Goldilocks v. Bear. Actually, it’s cafecito, but ‘tea’ makes the headline fit.
If a tree falls in the forest, and hits someone in the head…
This just in from from Arizona! Tree falls in forest and …
Mas…If a tree falls in the forest, and hits someone in the head…
Clean sweep: Santorum not pooped out yet
(PNS reporting from THE HEARTLAND) Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum swept the nominating contests in Missouri, Minnesota and Colorado Tuesday night, claiming, “My campaign is far from pooped out.”
The fiercest gay-baiting candidate in recent history, Santorum now has four victories under his belt in the GOP race, more than any other closeted candidate. “People were saying all along I had Big Mo, but they meant I was a big ‘mo.”
New GOP plan: Blame Obama for ‘over-working’ America
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON) GOP strategists — concerned the declining jobless rate hurts their chances of winning the White House — are now attacking the Obama Administration for causing rampant over-employment.
“Obama’s policies are creating more and more jobs. Haven’t Americans suffered enough these last three years? Jobs are the last things they want,” Republican pollster Charlie “Chuck” Charles told a morning meeting of the Contradict Reality and Progress Political Action Committee (CRaP PAC.)
AZ official has a dream: White Appreciation Day
Cecil Ash has a dream — a dream that one day white people will have a day to celebrate their accomplishments.
Dubbed by some as the “White Martin Luther King Jr.,” Arizona State Rep. Cecil Ash (R-MESA) has long campaigned for wider recognition of the U.S.’s most invisible ethnic minority, white people.
Pocho Ocho 90s things I wish were back that aren’t Pete Wilson
It looks like the 1990s are back now that former Gov. Pete Wilson (R-CA) is in the political spotlight as the new chairman of Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign.
I liked the 90s, but why doesn’t good stuff come back? You know, stuff like crushed velvet and bell sleeves, Beverly Hills 90210 fashion and NAFTA. Here are the top eight things they should bring back!
8. The promise of flying cars, where are the flying cars?!
7. TV shows filled with healthy white kids with nice teeth, a la, 90210 and Saved by the Bell.
6. Headbands, butterfly patterns, crushed velvet and choker (necklaces) — fashion!
Mas…Pocho Ocho 90s things I wish were back that aren’t Pete Wilson
Federal appeals panel overturns Proposition 8
The appeals panel of the U.S. Ninth Circuit Court in San Francisco ruled today that California’s ban on same-sex marriage violates the constitutional right to equal protection.
DYAC! Smartphone Spanglish spellcheck fails
I’m a pocha, loud and proud, and I communicate in Spanglish.
Everywhere. In letters, in conversation, in emails, in cards and, most recently, in text messages. But, my BlackBerry hates my Spanglish and is constantly trying to correct it. In fact, it often changes my Spanish words to random English words when I try to send my messages, rendering them practically intelligible. Damn you, auto correct!
A few choice examples: “gracias” into “grass,” “mañana” into “banana,” “mucho” into “macho,” “chingado” into “changed,” “oyes” into “ones” and “amor” into “amok.”
–Sara Inés
Pochismo 101 Edu-Video: ‘How to be a cholo’ (NSFW)
Would you like to swing on a star? Carry moonbeams home in a jar? And be better off than you are? Or would you rather be a cholo? Watch this video to find out how! NSFW (language.)
Franklin says ‘swarthy’ immigrants hurt our rep on Mars
(PNS reporting from PHILADELPHIA) Local publisher Benjamin “Sparky” Franklin (Poor Richard’s Almanac) is shocked by all the non-English-speaking dark-skinned foreigners in the City of Brotherly Love and worries about how our planet appears to residents of Venus and Mars.
The “swarthy” German newcomers are too stupid to learn English, the Society Hill resident charged in a recent newsletter:
Ñewsy Week: Daniel D Portado returns, AL ♥ CA y much more
A busy ñewsweek brought the return to glory of the original self-deportationist, Daniel D. Portado, who, it turns out, is a fictional character created by POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz; an Alabama plan to import Canadians to replace the immigrant labor that used to keep the state running; and militant MEChA murmurings about the Lack of Visible Latinos in the hit BBC/PBS series Downton Abbey.
Other top stories included First Lady Michelle Obama’s partnership with Caribbean food conglomerate Goya and the astounding “installation art” of Ramiro Gomez, Jr. Here’s our big list:
Mas…Ñewsy Week: Daniel D Portado returns, AL ♥ CA y much more
Pocho Ocho signs your Super Bowl party is in trouble
8. It’s half-time and your friends are still trying to decode the Roman numerals.
7. Everyone’s trying to explain to Tio Frank why only the runty guys get to kick the ball.
6. Your morbidly obese pal keeps shoving nachos in his mouth and shouting instructions to the athletes on TV, oblivious to the irony.
FLOTUS on healthy food for Chicano kids: Eat like Puerto Ricans
(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDA) Joining First Lady Michelle Obama’s Let’s Move! initiative, Goya Foods, the largest Hispanic-owned U.S. food company, will help promote MiPlato, the USDA program designed to encourage children to make healthier eating choices.
“Today’s announcement is about eliminating diabetes in the Mexican-American community by helping them make better choices, and, with the help of Goya, forcing them to eat like Cubans and Puerto Ricans,” Obama said Friday.
“Everything that Goya is doing,” she said, “centers around a simple idea: this country’s Mexican children need to be told what to eat by a corporate conglomerate that mass-produces Caribbean food.”
Obama joined Goya president Bob Unanue and leading Latino organizations at a Tampa supermarket to promote healthy eating nationwide with a special focus on the incorrectly-nourished Mexican-American community.
Mas…FLOTUS on healthy food for Chicano kids: Eat like Puerto Ricans
Sabado Pochonte Video: ‘Leo Limon – Portrait of an Artist’
Leo Limon: Portrait of an Artist celebrates one of the most popular and visible artists in the Chicano art movement. We see the L. A. artist’s life in the context of the broader history of cultural centers like Self-Help Graphics & Art and Limon’s proactive and collaborative approaches to alleviate gang violence and other social problems.
The video also explores his work in the preservation and restoration of the Los Angeles River as an ecological and recreational zone for the Los Angeles community.
Chevy wants you to get a Silverado for Mayan Doomsday 2012
You’ll be in big trouble when Mayan Apocalapyse Doomsday 2012 comes if you’re driving a crappy truck from Ford! That’s the message from Chevrolet in a commercial set to air during Sunday’s Super Bowl telecast. On the other hand, you can live long and prosper with a stylish, strong and Doomsday-defying Silverado pickup, says the ad from this Uncle Sam GM bailout success story that Mitt Romney wouldn’t have supported.
Attention Chevy: Ping us for great ground-floor advertising opportunities! The folks at RentALatino got a great deal and you can too!
And check out our handy Doomsday Countdown clock over here —————>
Remembering Ritchie Valens, superstar pocho pride of Pacoima
Today marks the sad anniversary of “the day the music died,” the 1959 airplane crash that took the lives of rock stars Buddy Holly, the Big Bopper and Ritchie Valens.
Valens, from the L.A. suburb of Pacoima, was born Richard Steven Valenzuela and some consider him the father of Chicano rock. Pocho Valens didn’t espeak Espanish, so he sang the lyrics to La Bamba from a phonetic cheat sheet.
Click for music videos of Chantilly Lace from the Bopper, Peggy Sue by Holly and the actual Valens La Bamba recording sessions, plus a Don McLean performance of The Day the Music Died.
Mas…Remembering Ritchie Valens, superstar pocho pride of Pacoima
The astounding ‘installation art’ of Ramiro Gomez, Jr.
Artist Ramiro Gomez, Jr. makes the invisible visible as he inserts paper images of hardworking Latinos into the landscape of Los Angeles — a gardener with a leaf blower, a housekeeper with a mop. There are many more images on his Happy Hills blog where he describes himself this way:
I live and work as a male nanny in West Hollywood, Beverly Hills and the Laurel Canyon area of the Hollywood Hills. Happy Hills is my body of work documenting the predominantly hispanic workforce, who work tirelessly behind the scenes to present the beautiful images of the ideal Hollywood Hills homes.
Alabama legislators to ‘import’ Canadian workers to fill jobs
Immigrant Mexican labor has all but disappeared from the Alabama landscape and the state has lost $10.8 billion in rotting crops and revenue.
Lawmakers desperate for solutions hope the Canuck Program will resuscitate the Yellowhammer State’s ignorant and bigoted economy.
Mas…Alabama legislators to ‘import’ Canadian workers to fill jobs
Are Castro and Chavez planning KomradPad tablet and CheOS?
(PNS reporting from EL OTRO LADO) Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez and Cuba’s Fidel Castro are developing their own communist tablet computer, the KomradPad, and a custom commie operating system tentatively dubbed CheOS, according to industry sources.
Initial apps are said to include a Zynga-style game called Collective Farmville, a first-person shooter named Comrade In Arms: Road to a Workers’ Paradise and a socialist media app copied from Facebook called Secret Police Book, which, like FB, makes every status update, link and photo available to guardians of the State’s security.
Mas…Are Castro and Chavez planning KomradPad tablet and CheOS?
Meet our newest sponsor – RentALatino!
In our ongoing search for advertisers to match our diverse audience, it looks like we have found a winner – a company with deep pockets and its heart in the right place.
POCHO is glad to welcome RentALatino to the echelons of our Premium Sponsors.
To learn how you might qualify for RentALatino‘s latest discounts and see the full message from our sponsor, read on!