Flying chupacabra kills 35 sheep in Michoacan (three videos)

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Almost three dozen sheep lie dead in a corral in Michoacan and one witness blames a creature with fangs and wings. From Britain’s Daily Mail:

When farmers in Mexico found 35 of their sheep slaughtered with significant claw and tooth marks around their necks, they had one creature to blame – the legendary chupacabra. One man tending to the sheep overnight in the small Mexican town of Paracuaro said he saw animals with sharp fangs and wings kill the livestock. Dubbed the ‘Bigfoot of Latin culture,’ the chupacabra is a legendary four-legged creature that many think is responsible for attacking and killing livestock.

But how does a flying chupacabra compare with a flying purple people eater? And who wants to actually SEE a flying saucer? Two music videos below provide the answers

Mas…Flying chupacabra kills 35 sheep in Michoacan (three videos)

Ñewsweek: New Mexico wants tourists — light-skinned tourists

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State tourist official does the New Mexican hat dance when a reporter asks about the casting call advertisement

This POCHO ñewsweek is brought to you in living — and dying — color.

In the Southwest, New Mexico’s tourist board is casting a commercial to promote visits to the state. Who do they want to play the tourists in their commercial? “Caucasians and light-skinned Hispanics.”

And in the Southeast, Florida cowers in the Spotlight o’ Shame as the country asks why an unarmed teenager was killed by a self-styled neighborhood watch vigilante.

These are the stories that made the ñews this week:

Mas…Ñewsweek: New Mexico wants tourists — light-skinned tourists

Mayan Doomsday (the video): ‘2012 The Mayan Word’

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Here’s a novel idea: Why not ask some Mayans about the impending apocalypse? Undercurrents Alternative News did just that in 2012 The Mayan Word. In Spanish and English with English subtitles, this hour-long documentary takes a look at the impending death and obliteration of the world as we know it and beginning of our glorious metamorphosis into luminous beings of light in the Singularity to come. Or maybe not. The official writeup is below.

Mas…Mayan Doomsday (the video): ‘2012 The Mayan Word’

New Mexico Tourism Board’s racist want ad: ‘Morenos need not apply’

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When your casting call includes skin color, people are going to think one of two things: Either you’re filming a sunblock ad or you’re a stone racist.

The New Mexico Tourism Board’s little gaffe (nicely summed up here from local news clips by the sharp folks at Cuentame) pretty much says it: Arizona Cerebral Fever – which renders bureaucrats completely tone-deaf to their own cluelessness about race – is contagious. You catch it from the pendejos next door in the Hate State of Arizona.

What’s priceless is the third-class backpedaling the spokeswoman offers – about how they’re looking for “a wide range of people” and this spot is “the first of many.”

Mas…New Mexico Tourism Board’s racist want ad: ‘Morenos need not apply’

Romney campaign tries to shake off Etch A Sketch remark

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The Romney campaign is one built on strong policy principles, unless, of course, they need to change them to pander to primary voters.

“Well, I think you hit a reset button for the fall campaign. Everything changes,” Romney campaign advisor Eric Fehrnstrom said Wednesday on CNN. “It’s almost like an Etch A Sketch. You can kind of shake it up and restart all over again.”

Shake it up baby!

Photos: He’s a real nowhere man lost in paletero land

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The Mexican ice cream man, or paletero (he sells paletas)

Artist Ramiro Gomez, Jr. makes the invisible visible as he inserts cardboard images of hardworking Latinos into the landscape of Los Angeles and documents his installation art with photos. At half-past midnight he emailed POCHO:

I went up to Hollywood Blvd. this afternoon and put up my newest cardboard installation. It is on the corner of Hollywood Blvd. and Curson Ave. I went back tonight and it has not been taken down yet, hopefully, the location I chose allows it to ride for a while.

The big versions of Gomez’ photos are below.

Shoutout to Hollywood peeps: Is the paletero still there? Please share your updates in the Comments section below. Gracias!

Mas…Photos: He’s a real nowhere man lost in paletero land

Around Our Town: Ñews from the Neighborhood

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Basketball: The undefeated Pocho High Fighting Santos meet the Chupacabras of Don Fernando Valley High for the state hoops semifinals next week in Rancho Cucamonga. Booster Club president Cal Ifas wants to remind fans the vuvuzelas have arrived and you can pick up your order at his auto upholstery shop weekdays and Saturdays. Califas Tuck y Roll is in the Pocho Industrial Park behind the Tapatio plant.

Tourism: The El Rancho Pocho Downtown Historical District has once again garnered a mention in Zagat’s Off the Beaten Path Travel Guide: “A sketchy tattoo parlor, Lupe’s Mistic Yerberia and a car battery recycling joint take you back to an earlier time, a time that wasn’t really all that good, actually, but if that’s what you’re looking for, the El Rancho Pocho Downtown Historical District has it all.”

Mas…Around Our Town: Ñews from the Neighborhood

Mississippi bill would require ‘green cards’ from Pocho Ricans

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(PNS reporting from OLE MISS) Inspired by the members of the University of Southern Mississippi marching band, state legislators passed a harsh new anti-immigration measure Wednesday and expect the bill to pass the Senate and be signed into law soon by Gov. Phil Bryant.

HB 488 requires law enforcement to investigate the immigration status of any person in custody thought to be in the country illegally and specifically targets American citizens from Puerto Rico. They are obligated to present a green card as well as prove proficiency in English.

The bill originally included provisions that would have required public schools to check the immigration status of all enrolled students and test their spelling proficiency. Those provisions were removed from the bill when it was discovered that many students could not spell Mississippi without singing it.

Mas…Mississippi bill would require ‘green cards’ from Pocho Ricans

Searching for Eldorado’s City of Gold, modern ‘goldbugs’ infest AZ

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Photog Diego Rivera visited an Aztlanian gold mine before the locals hid it from the 'Conquistadors'

(PNS reporting from THE HATE STATE OF ARIZONA) It’s a mystery from history that’s too shiny to die:

Where exactly is Eldorado, the famed City of Gold built by ancient Aztlanians and hidden from the brutal “conquistadors?”

A  swarm of recession-smacked out-of-towners asked the question again last week in Yuma County, AZ. The answer included injuries, Hollywood and politics as usual.

Mas…Searching for Eldorado’s City of Gold, modern ‘goldbugs’ infest AZ

Time to boogie: Kid Ramos & the Fabulocos are ‘Burnin’ the Chicken’

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Are you ready to boogie? Straight-up Texican boogie rocks the house eight to the bar in this 2009 Fabulocos show. The band is smokin’ — Mike Molina on drums, James Barrios on bass and Kid Ramos on guitar live in New Braunfels, TX. You can see in the video that it’s daytime in Texas. Luckily, damn daylight savings doesn’t mean it’s too early to boogie!

Florida Burning: Will Trayvon’s ‘killer’ go to jail or get cop job?

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Trayvon Martin (family photo) was killed for 'walking while black'

(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDA) Local police have reluctantly transferred  the investigation of the fatal shooting of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin at the White Knights gated community to the State Attorney’s Office.

The state will now determine if George Zimmerman, the Sanford-area neighborhood watch captain accused of killing Martin, will be charged with a crime or simply hired by the Sanford Police Department he wanted so much to join.

According to Sanford police, Zimmerman, a white male and captain of the W.K.N.W., (White Knights Neighborhood Watch,) admitted that he shot and killed Martin because “he looked black.” Due to local racist tradition, police say that’s usually a justifiable homicide in Florida “especially in white gated communities.”

Mas…Florida Burning: Will Trayvon’s ‘killer’ go to jail or get cop job?

Ñewsweek: Gasbacks swarm MX, corporate cartoon capers caca

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Gas is hella cheap in Mexico and gabachos with gas-guzzlers are going gaga South of the Border filling their gaping petrol holes. Here in Los United Estates, politically-aware cartoons (like Doonesbury) are getting censored.

This cartoon caca is old news to us: Last year, a cartoon by POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz was deemed racist by Huffington Post corporate bigwigs and got the editor of Brentwood.Patch.com fired. Turns out the editor is someone we know and love…

Based on actual stats, here are the Top Ten most popular stories this ñewsweek on Pocho.com:

Mas…Ñewsweek: Gasbacks swarm MX, corporate cartoon capers caca

PochoCast #2: Human WiFi hotspots, asteroids, satire and SXSW

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Saturday Night Funnies! In our exciting and biting second podcast, POCHO’s Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz, Migrant Editor Al Madrigal and Subcommandanta del News Sara Inés Calderón talk about homeless human WiFi hotspots, an asteroid heading towards Earth, disaster preparedness (Al grows veggies) and the Austin GeekFiesta also known as SXSW (South By Southwest.) LOLs aplenty! (NSFW language.)

Podcast produced by Marcelo Ziperovich, Jefe de Creative, who also took these photos.

Ollin rocks your shamrock for Día de San Patricio

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East L.A. pochos  Ollin channel Irish band the Pogues in Ollin’s Tenth Annual St. Patrick’s Day Pogues tribute at the Satellite in Silverlake tonight. And for us that’s a good excuse to feature this video as well as the super cool poster for the show (below.) Mira! The shamrock and the chile share the musical and artistic stage. Also we get to use this green font. Meanwhile, what is the deal with the Irish in Mexico?

Mas…Ollin rocks your shamrock for Día de San Patricio

Ricky Martin Santorum wants Puerto Rico to be blahlingual

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(PNS reporting from POCHO RICO) Former senator and current GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum caused a furor on this island yesterday when he said English would have to be the “main language” for the Puerto Rican Commonwealth to ever become a state.

To be fair, when Santorum told a campaign rally crowd here in San Juan that Puerto Ricans should make English the official language, he didn’t think they could understand English at all.

Mas…Ricky Martin Santorum wants Puerto Rico to be blahlingual

ICE unveils first-ever resort-style hotel for immigrant detainees

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Inviting metal benches say, "Sit, but for not too long!"

(PNS reporting from DEEP IN THE HEART OF TEJAS) U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) is opening what they call the first-ever “resort-style hotel” for immigrant detainees.

Critics are calling the new Karnes County (TX) Civil Detention Center a “prison for profit” but ICE is marketing it as a migrant “destination” with “vast amenities” that will keep immigrant detainees coming back for more.

Mas…ICE unveils first-ever resort-style hotel for immigrant detainees

Rick Santorum’s Pocho Ocho political proposals

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Although many are shocked by presidential pretender Rick Santorum’s proposal to consider statehood for Puerto Rico if it drops Spanish and espeaks English, it turns out this idea is only the newest of his Brainfarts Brainstorms for America.

Here are the Pocho Ocho:

8. Mexico’s Los Tigres del Norte will be offered citizenship if they lose their stripes

7.  Jews get to go to Catholic Heaven if they stop being, you know, Jews

6. African-Americans get access to high-paying Wall Street jobs when they straighten out that hair thing

Mas…Rick Santorum’s Pocho Ocho political proposals

Mexican city bans Los Tigres for narcocorrido, actual narcos still OK

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(PNS reporting from CHIHUAHUA) The New York Times reports that Mexican super group Los Tigres del Norte, dubbed the Metallica of Norteño Music, has been banned from performing in the state Chihuahua after they sang one of their popular narcocorridos at a cattle expo in Ciudad Juárez.

The band began a heavy rendition of La Reina del Sur — which details the life and exploits of drug trafficking legend Sandra Avila Beltran — but were quickly escorted offstage by portly Federales armed with stale churros.

Juarez Chief of Police Feo B. Sonso says that the city doesn’t mind actual narcos and their beheading tactics so much as it does bandas singing about them.

“Bandas? We don need no steenking bandas!” Sonso said.

Mas…Mexican city bans Los Tigres for narcocorrido, actual narcos still OK

U.S. ‘gasbacks’ sneaking into Mexico for cheap fuel

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(PNS reporting from TIJUANA) Soaring prices at the pump are  sending Americans  to El Otro Lado for a break on pricey petrol purchases,  creating a furor over a new class of immigrants called “gasbacks.”

Mexican public opinion is all over map regarding the gas-guzzling gringos, who are pumping millions of dollares into Mexico by pumping millions of gallons of gas out of it.

Mas…U.S. ‘gasbacks’ sneaking into Mexico for cheap fuel

Pocho Ocho reasons gringos are scared to go to Mexico for gas

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While some gas-hungry Americans — gasbacks — are sneaking South of the Border to take advantage of lower fuel prices, others aren’t so sure. Here are the Pocho Ocho reasons gabachos don’t wanna go there:

8. They don’t want to get tucked and rolled.

7. Last time down there, a lengua burrito licked them back.

6. Mexican gas is stronger (Insert your own joke here.)

Mas…Pocho Ocho reasons gringos are scared to go to Mexico for gas

How Lalo Alcaraz got me fired from Patch.com – the true story

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From December of 2010 through Spring 2011, I was the editor of Brentwood.Patch.com, the West Los Angeles outpost of AOL/Huffington Post’s “hyperlocal” news operation.

For Cinco de Mayo, I commissioned three stories: The real history of Cinco de Mayo as related by a professor at Mount St. Mary’s (Brentwood’s only college), the best places to celebrate with nachos and beer in Brentwood and a cartoon from my friend Lalo Alcaraz about how the Battle of Puebla is understood in Brentwood.

Mas…How Lalo Alcaraz got me fired from Patch.com – the true story

CHONY 2012: Mexican Mitt’s new awareness campaign

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Leading GOP presidential contender Mexican Mitt Romney has started a brand new awareness campaign that is sweeping the social media world: CHONY 2012.

Mexican Mitt is trying to raise awareness about the whereabouts of his favorite pair of Magical Underpants, which he has named “Chony.”

“Please help me find my favorite CHONYs,” said the wealthy Mexi-Mormon on his popular Twitter feed last night.

Their absence from his campaign bus is causing Mexican Mitt much anguish. In various mournful Tweets, he also urged readers to contribute money to his CHONY 2012 campaign, which has since gone viral.

Mas…CHONY 2012: Mexican Mitt’s new awareness campaign

Ñewsweek: Super Taco Tuesday, mujeres and media mensos

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Video from BeingLatino.US contrasts Mexicans in the media and Real Life Mexicans

POCHO’s favorite candidate, the mariachi-like Mexican Mitt Romney, scored the combo plate of election success in the Super Taco Tuesday primaries but fellow Republican Rush Limbaugh stepped in a big pile of slut when he opened his fat mouth. Dear Rush: Are you finished? Then wipe yourself!

Here are some of the stories that made our ñewsweek:

Mas…Ñewsweek: Super Taco Tuesday, mujeres and media mensos

Video Triple Feature! Cheech’s art + braceros + ‘Margarita’

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Cheech Marin's 'Chicanitas'
'Harvest of Loneliness'
'Margarita'

Sabado Pochonte Triple Feature! Cheech Marin’s collection of “small Chicano paintings” lights up the documentary Chicanitas, the black and white history of braceros comes to life in Harvest of Loneliness and the classic poem by Ruben Dario shimmers in the wordless animated Margarita.

Mas…Video Triple Feature! Cheech’s art + braceros + ‘Margarita’

KPCC radio billboard ‘Occupied’ by KPFK radio listener

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Much L.A. radio hay was made over the placing of a KPCC 89.3 FM billboard advertising its “Ideas not ideology” slogan practically on top my radio station’s studios at KPFK 90.7 FM, where I host the Pocho Hour of Power every Friday at 4 PM.

As I walked in today, I was alerted that someone had replaced the KPCC billboard with our own KPFK billboard. Didn’t know we had such a substantial advertising budget. 

Nice job! (above photo by KPFK’s Ernesto Arce) Here’s the before picture:

Mas…KPCC radio billboard ‘Occupied’ by KPFK radio listener

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