Cartel street battle in Puebla, MX ends in rout of French gang invaders

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Federales clean up bodies after cartel Battle of Puebla
Authorities said 462 French gangsters died and 300 were injured
(PNS reporting from PUEBLA, MEXICO) Federales are cleaning up the streets of this southeastern city after a three-day battle between area gangsters and a French gang left 83 locals and 462 gabachos dead.

The  Marseilles gang (“La Eme”) — sent to collect a drug debt allegedly owed by the Puebla-based Ignacio Zaragosa clika (the “Zetas”) — was overwhelmed by the fierce Mexican gangbangers.

Faulty HUMINT (human intelligence) was also a factor.

Based on bogus tips from informants who called themselves “los mentirosos,” which La Eme interpreted as “mentors,” the frogs engaged the enemy at noon. La Eme expected the Zeta sentries to be taking siestas with their sombreros pulled so low they couldn’t see the advancing gunmen. And the close-by burros? The French plan relied on the overhwhelming odor of naturally estanky donkeys to mask the telltale scent of French breath-de-fromage.

But the Zetas were not asleep and those weren’t your mother’s burritos.

Mas…Cartel street battle in Puebla, MX ends in rout of French gang invaders

Pocho Ocho ironic nicknames that aren’t as insulting as they seem

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El Flaco (left) and El Gordo

8. Gordo/a – This word (it means “overweight”) seems like an insult, but  it’s just another way to say, “Hey you!”  You don’t have to be fat to get this nickname.

7. Flaco/a –  And you don’t actually have to be skinny to get this nickname. Of course, you could be relatively skinny compared to everyone else in the room, but it’s just a way to speed things along.

6. Viejo/a –  This word (“old”) could be used to refer to one’s significant other, parent, or friend. Whether or not one is actually old depends on those involved in the conversation. 

Mas…Pocho Ocho ironic nicknames that aren’t as insulting as they seem

NPR Cinco de Mayo show taps Gustavo Arellano, La Santa Cecilia

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Coming from the East Coast and all, the National Public Radio Alt.Latino peeps needed to come here to get the real California deal on Cinco de Mayo. They called on two local treasures:  Gustavo Arellano, editor of OCWeekly.com, and East Los rockers La Santa Cecilia:

This week we bring ourselves to that most bicultural of holidays — Cinco de Mayo. As we discuss in the show, there is a question about whether or not this is just another opportunity for happy hour specials or store-wide sales: “Get your new bed during our Mexican Mattresstravaganza!!!”

We invited writer Gustavo Arellano to help us shed some light on the issue. He has tackled this theme before in his syndicated column Ask A Mexican.

Here on the East Coast, the Cinco de Mayo experience is different from what it is in California. It feels much less connected to themes of cultural pride and more like an excuse to drink margaritas.

Mas…NPR Cinco de Mayo show taps Gustavo Arellano, La Santa Cecilia

MEChA changes name to one members can pronounce

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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON D.C.) The board of the historic student organization MEChA voted Wednesday to change the group’s name to something easier for its members to pronounce.

MEChA was born during the Chicano Civil Rights Movement, and its name — Movimiento Estudiantil Chicano de Aztlán — was an artifact of its 1960s’ genesis. But Xicano activism waned in the ensuing decades; every year since 1968, for example, the number of baby girls named Xochitl has declined.

Members are no longer interested in getting back to their Nahuatl roots and Los Angeles local chapter male co-chair David Hernandez told PNS that there’s no need. “I mean, I already am from Aztlán, Whittier, you know? And we don’t speak Spanish here,” he said.

Mas…MEChA changes name to one members can pronounce

Dear Abuelita: Gay for a day, my 34C boobs, a career in modeling

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Dear Abuelita,
I wear a 34C bra. My boyfriend is always scoping out girls with bigger boobs. Should I get implants?
Titi Caca

Dear Titi Caca,
Here’s what you need to do: Tell your boyfriend to look in the mirror the next time he wants to see a big boob then dump the pendejo. As for you, make yourself an appointment for a self-esteem implant ASAP. That’s all I have to say. I don’t have time to figure out the root of your insecurities. There are more important things to focus on than your pea-sized mosquito bites.

Do you have any idea how much trouble big chi-chis are? Let me tell you, they can be a real pain in the ass! I mean it, I once flung mine over my shoulders so hard the damned things left bruises on my nalgas.
Love, Your Abuelita

Mas…Dear Abuelita: Gay for a day, my 34C boobs, a career in modeling

Pocho Ocho reasons Romney won’t choose Marco Rubio for VP

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As reported by the Miami Herald, there are about 8,000 reasons why Mitt Romney might not pick Florida’s Teabbagged Sen. Marco Rubio for as his running mate. Here are the top eight:

8. Sin Papeles. He’s illegal! It’s debatable who has the wetter back since Romney is from Mexico but Rubio is just as undocumented and some would argue more “deportable.” Rubio fled Cuba not because of the Revolución but because no one there could stand him. The guy’s an asshole.

More reasons and startling photographic evidence below.

Mas…Pocho Ocho reasons Romney won’t choose Marco Rubio for VP

Adios, Gordo Gingrich! You’ll never get your sangwich :(

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Former Freaker of the House Newt Gingrich’s campaign for the Republican presidential nomination is over. POCHO laments the loss of this serial adulterer and nominee wannabe, as his ignorant, racist douchebaggery provided us with lots of ñews, including this Spanish-language campaign commercial with realistic English subtitles.

And there’s more below:

Mas…Adios, Gordo Gingrich! You’ll never get your sangwich 🙁

Romney courts ‘Hispanic vote’ with cartoon parrot sidekick (video)

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GOP presidential wannabee Mitt Romney knows he needs help with the “Hispanic vote” so he hired a Spanish-speaking, taco-loving parrot named Paco to help him out on the campaign trail. This is their first joint video.

Contrast and compare with Romney’s earlier Nosotros ad, presented here with English subtitles.

Mas…Romney courts ‘Hispanic vote’ with cartoon parrot sidekick (video)

Will Selena’s comeback tour feature a holographic JLo?

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holoselena(PNS reporting from HOLLYWOOD) Selena’s old band is hitting the road this summer with a holographic version of the murdered superstar and Jennifer Lopez wants the part.

JLo played Selena Quintanilla-Pérez in a 1997 biopic about the singer.

“We tried to tell her a hologram was not an actual person and that playing a hologram was not the same thing as being in a movie, but she didn’t seem to understand,” band manager Beto Salinas told PNS.

Lopez called band members directly and begged for the role.

Mas…Will Selena’s comeback tour feature a holographic JLo?

I was an eyewitness/participant at the L.A. riots/uprising/desmadre

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This Saturday, after driving and blasting some Public Enemy and NWA in my decidedly non-gangster hoopty (a new, very gas-friendly tiny vehicle) I went home feeling amped up about the commemoration of the twentieth anniversary of the L.A. Riots.

I checked the newspapers, then went online and was reading an excellent piece by Pocho homie, DJ and writer Davey D, about the massive civil unrest sparked by the trial of the L.A.P.D. cops who beat unarmed Rodney King.

On Apr. 29, 1992, my girlfriend and I were in shock, like much of L.A., that the cops were acquitted of beating Rodney King. Though we were accustomed to seeing the constant police brutality used against minorities by outfits like the L.A.P.D., everyone felt that there was no way they were going to get away this time. It was on.

Mas…I was an eyewitness/participant at the L.A. riots/uprising/desmadre

Debuting Cinco de Mayo: The Misadventures of Pepito and Juan

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The Misadventures of Pepito and Juan will debut on POCHO at midnight, May 5, Cinco de Mayo. Look for a new episode every night at midnight until we run out of cartoons, or creator Gabriel Tellez, Jr. makes more.

What’s it all about? Per Tellez:

Pepito (left): The highly intelligent, politically/socially conscious Chicano who is considered “too liberal” by conservatives, and “too soft” by self-proclaimed revolutionaries. Though a progressive reformist at heart who likes to be “the middle guy” in social and political issues, Pepito despises hardcore conservatives as much as he despises Che-shirt wearing teenagers who don’t know what they are protesting about.

Juan (right): While being the more friendly and outgoing one of the duo, Juan isn’t really too bright when it comes to more important issues that plague society, and would rather smoke weed than join Pepito in his quest to empower the Latino community. Juan is also flirtatious at heart, as he always seems to find the time to hit on all the pretty girls he comes to contact with (which usually ends up in slaps to the face.)

Published in cooperation with Tellez, who is a hoopy frood.

Mas…Debuting Cinco de Mayo: The Misadventures of Pepito and Juan

Are these Sunday news show talking heads your ‘Hispanic leaders’?

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CBS News writes:

Because Hispanics, the fastest-growing segment of the US population, will play a big role in November’s presidential election, leaders from the Hispanic community reinforced the notion that they are not a monolithic voting bloc.
Are these people your “Hispanic leaders” as CBS calls them? Aside from the Latino/Hispanic what’s in a name issue, do these people represent you? Do you even know who they are? Do you agree with what they say? Let’s name names:

Mas…Are these Sunday news show talking heads your ‘Hispanic leaders’?

Ñewsweek: Abuelita and the ticking baby clock, no cholo too loco

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When a cholo goes bad, call The Cholo Whisperer

She needed help — a woman approaching 40 who wanted  kids but had no realistic baby daddy in sight.  Thankfully, she decided to write Dear Abuelita for advice, who gave her way more guidance than she was expecting.

And in a very special video about Cholo Rescue Services, the gentle strength of The Cholo Whisperer turns a misbehaving cholo loco into a warm companion everyone loves.

These were the stories breaking the ñews on POCHO this week:

Mas…Ñewsweek: Abuelita and the ticking baby clock, no cholo too loco

Luminous white UFOs turn Mexican skeptics into believers (videos)

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Up in the sky, it’s a bird, it’s a plane it’s — Marcianos! Mexican investigators Jaime Maussan and Santiago Yturria Garza share exceptional videos of unexplained aerial phenomena that turned them from skeptics into believers.

Watch news footage as one Mexican mayor spots the “fleet” of luminous white OVNIs and says, “The Martians have arrived!”  TV host Maussan calls for more citizen and media participation in compiling OVNI reports in this 90-minute presentation from 2006.

“The Martians Have Arrived” — Los Marcianos Llegaron Ya — was also a pop music hit in Mexico in 2005 by children’s music star Tatiana. Which came first — the sightings or the song? We have the video below.

Mas…Luminous white UFOs turn Mexican skeptics into believers (videos)

Argentina WTF: Crop circle? UFO landing site? Cow abduction? (video)

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The diameter of the circle cut into the Tossi family’s sorghum field Wednesday night or Thursday morning is 25 meters — 82 feet across. The transformation of the consenusal reality of the small town of Las Perdices in Argentina’s Tercero Arriba district is yet to measured.

Who — or what — made the circle? Is it of earthly origin? Or did an OVNI leave evidence of a brief terrestrial tango? We have more of the story and an incredible video report of a cow abducted by a UFO in Argentina, below.

Mas…Argentina WTF: Crop circle? UFO landing site? Cow abduction? (video)

The O.C. featuring Baby.K: ‘Somos Locos’ (NSFW music video)

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What if the Insane Clown Posse moved to French Canadia and made a Spanglish hip-hop video in an insane asylum? Mira! This crazy video by The O.C. comes from the Montreal Hip-Hop en Español scene. The O.C.is a duo made up of MCs Chele and One from Heavy Soundz and featuring many members of the Del Mondongo crew. Del Mondongo is a label/collective formed by a circle of Latino MCs: Boogat, Alquimia Verbal and Heavy Soundz – two all-star hip-hop crews that splinter into different side and solo projects. Loco, eh? (Crazy NSFW language.)

Drug cartel shoot-out recycling means big business for one border town

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The Model Six plays the 'Steve Jobs chord'

(PNS reporting from BAJA NALGAS) The narcotraficante shoot-outs in this border town typically take 30 or 40 seconds. A discerning listener might notice — amid the screams, the pop-pop-pop of semiautomatic pistol fire and the distinctive rat-a-tat-tat of submachineguns — the jingle-jangle-jingle of spent brass cartridges hitting the street.

When the smoke clears, survivors, if any, are taken to the hospital and the dead are carted to the morgue. A city crew hoses off the blood and the police let traffic through.

And then the kids come — a pack of boys, tween scavengers. They methodically retrieve the brass shells left on the street and take them back to Guinchimes del Sud, a local manufacturer of wind chimes, where the spent 9mm pistol and AK-47 submachinegun ammunition “brass” is recycled into musical metal sculptures that get shipped to breeze buffs in America.

But as demand for wind chimes on the U.S. side of the Rio Culero improves, Guinchimes’ path to future success is blowing in the wind.

Mas…Drug cartel shoot-out recycling means big business for one border town

Students create gigantic portrait of Cesar Chavez from 5500 dominos

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San Diego students used dominos to create a huge Cesar Chavez mural and installed it over the weekend in Chicano Park. NBC San Diego’s Gitzel Puente reports:

It took 5,500 domino pieces, 40 students and six weeks to create this piece of art. Students and staff from O’Farrell Community School started this mural using blueprints, and then they glued them to vinyl tiles [and]…dedicated this 10-foot mural to farm labor leader Cesar Chavez.

“About two months ago, we decided to do something for the community and what better thing to do than dedicate this to Cesar Chavez. We started telling the kids about it, letting them know what he did, his legacy and how he brought people together for a good cause,” says O’Farell’s Spanish instructor Jose Islas.

Puente uploaded a nice photo of the portrait to her Twitter account. We have it below:

Mas…Students create gigantic portrait of Cesar Chavez from 5500 dominos

What’s good on TV tonight? Your CHiVO™ Champion Chows

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50 Minutos: Toothless tia with a headscarf flees a smoking village on a donkey cart and a softly-lit cute kid with a disability plays the chit out of a cello. Eduardo Burro offers a special tribute to Miguel Xoalis.
Click here to add these chows to your CHiVO™ chedule
Tosho Punto O: Danilo Tosh provides commentary on viral videos, society and celebrities from his Abuela’s basement. Fallout from the Web’s Best Vomit Videos semifinals messes up Danilo’s guyabera.
Guanderful World of Disney: Things get pretty hairy for Herbie the Love Bug when he takes a trip to Lima, Peru. Can he overcome his need to obey traffic signals? Probably, but not before realizing the traffic lanes are “suggestion only.”
Lonche Libre: The gourmet food loncheros must sell their high-end comida to skeptics in the hood, but not before they get sparkle paint jobs, lowered suspensions and custom-painted flames with a $2000 budget and a 24-hour deadline.

Mas…What’s good on TV tonight? Your CHiVO™ Champion Chows

Batgirl tells Batman: Equal pay for equal work! (except Latinas?)

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Batgirl tells Batman she wants to get paid as much as Robin for the same work. Today’s Latinas need to stand up and demand their fair share too, since the benefits of the Equal Pay Act seem to have passed them by.

In 1963, President John F. Kennedy signed the Equal Pay Act which prohibits gender discrimination in wages. At its signing women made 59 cents on average for every dollar earned by men. Although some small gains have been made, women today earn only 77 cents for every buck a guy gets. Latinas only earn 57 cents.

Enforcing existing laws is hard enough, but it CAN get worse. Across the country, Republican tools of big business are trying to undermine equal pay, all part of the GOP’s despicable War on Women. (We’ve got videos below.)

Mas…Batgirl tells Batman: Equal pay for equal work! (except Latinas?)

Women beware: You might be guilty of ‘walking with ovaries’

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Stand-up comedy? It's a man's world.

Several years ago, I was driving through the backwoods of central Florida trying to find the home of a distant cousin. Desperately lost, I called my mother, but my abuela answered the phone.

I asked her, “Hey, do you know Annita’s phone number? I’m trying to find her house.”

My grandmother’s response: “Go home. A woman shouldn’t be driving alone.”

I can’t help but feel my grandmother’s Old World values have a residual grasp on modern society — the notion that a woman’s role is in the private sphere, that she should not be out in public.

Often while walking the streets of Manhattan I’m subjected to stares that deem me guilty of a crime: guilty of walking with ovaries.

Mas…Women beware: You might be guilty of ‘walking with ovaries’

Letter to the Editor: All the arragement is done about your ATM CARD

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GOOD DAY MY FRIEND.
How are you, and with your family,

All the arragement is done about your ATM CARD,there is no problem again 
but i let you know that .

Our ATM DEPARTMENT OFFICE Benin republic here are delivery your ATM MASTER CARD 
with very little amount If you are ready to receive it which can cost you $100 
dollar only. Now i let you know that all your total Amount of your ATM CARD is 
( $5.8 MILLION UNITED STATE DOLLAR ONLY ) so i let you know that to Activation 
fee of ATM CARD before is $200 dollar in any country in this world wide. but 
the COMMISSIONNER OF POLICE And MR IYA BONI PRESIDENCE of Benin republic 
held a meeting with there Cabinet the cocultion is that the activation of 
ATM CARD will be $100 dollar only.

Mas…Letter to the Editor: All the arragement is done about your ATM CARD

Ñewsweek: Karma 90210, Colombian high, Abuelita licks frog problem

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Karma or koincidence?

  • POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz spoke to a digital media industry panel at the Taberna Mexicana in Beverly Hills in February
  • After the panel, a lady outside the restaurant profiled Lalo as the valet parking guy and wanted him to retrieve her vehicle
  • Taberna Mexicana suddenly closed last week

We’ve got Lalo’s Big Beverly Hills Adventure and this week’s other big stories below.  POCHO.com — breaking the ñews on and off since 1997.

Mas…Ñewsweek: Karma 90210, Colombian high, Abuelita licks frog problem

Share with your parents: UFO Mayan secrets, ancient aliens revealed

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This video comes directly from TrueReality.org so you know it’s right:

Irrefutable Evidence of ExtraTerrestrial Contact carved in Stone Thousands of Years ago on Pre-Mayans site. We shall finally change our History’s Books and let humanity knows our True Origins. The World is wakening up! Share the video with your parents and let everyone discuss it rationally and openly.

Part 2 below.

Mas…Share with your parents: UFO Mayan secrets, ancient aliens revealed

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