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@MexicanMitt: Corrected subtitles for my Univision appearance

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Those vendidos at Univision‘s Espanish subtitling department are lying Cubanos and they hate Mexicans like me. That is the ONLY EXPLANATION I have for the way they translated my remarks for my Espanish-speaking friends.

Here is what I really said:

So-called transcript: But the truth is as you know my dad was born of American parents living in Mexico.

Correct subtitle: YO SER MEXI-MORMON GUERO

The immigration system, I think we all agree, is broken and it’s been a political football for years. MEXICANOS DEBER EL SELF-DEPORTO

Mas…@MexicanMitt: Corrected subtitles for my Univision appearance

Pocho Ocho best words the French gave to Spanglish

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The French have contributed a great deal to pocho culture, including some choice palabras. We got a few of them together for your review:

8. Mamón You might think it means “asshole,” but in French it sounds like “mother.” Don’t be a douche.

7. Chingadeaux It sounds fancy when you spell it in French, but in Spanish it’s an expletive.

6. Le Cuchí In French it means “smart woman.”

Mas…Pocho Ocho best words the French gave to Spanglish

Why do I discipline my daughter – and dance – in Español?

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As a small girl, I refused to speak Spanish with my mother.

She was born in Sonora, MX and grew up speaking nothing but Spanish so this must have frustrated her. Now, I think, wouldn’t it have been easier to just learn the language while I was small?

Thankfully, I finally realized the value of being bilingual in my teen years and made a commitment to become fluent in Spanish during high school.

I watched only Spanish TV and every summer my mom would drop me off in Hermosillo to be immersed in the culture and spend time with my cousins. It was a lot of fun, and it worked.

Now that I am a mom, I think I might have figured out why I refused my mother’s native language for so long. Just the other day, my daughter acted out in public over the absence of her sippy cup and the first words that came flowing out of my mouth were, “Mi hijita, no me grites. Espérate por favor.”

The situation caught my attention when everyone around us stopped what they were doing and looked at us, confused. That’s when I realized I raise my daughter in English but I discipline her in Spanish.

Mas…Why do I discipline my daughter – and dance – in Español?

ZOMG! Mainstream media discovers pochismo for profit

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Mainstream media has finally awakened to the profit potential of pochismo, according to the prestigious Columbia Journalism Review:

Lalo Alcaraz [photo, right] has always embraced the word pocho. It refers to Mexican-Americans who have lost their Mexican culture and speak English, and it’s what relatives occasionally called Alcaraz when he was growing up in San Diego. He has leveraged it ever since. In the 1990s, Alcaraz and a friend founded POCHO Magazine, which led to pocho.com. Both projects used English when, for years, “Hispanic media” usually meant Spanish-language content. They satirized Latino issues and poked fun at biculturalism. “We had the National Pochismo Institute,” he says, “where we would send out a fake survey and ‘rate your pochismo.’ ” Currently, Alcaraz hosts a radio show called the “Pocho Hour of Power” on KPFK in Los Angeles.

Mas…ZOMG! Mainstream media discovers pochismo for profit

Kinky: In ‘Despues Del After’ a robot does the Chinese dougie (video)

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Monterrey technorock superstars Kinky and an illuminated robot amigo shot this new video in Shanghai, Beijing and Hong Kong. (Despues Del After = After the After.)

And we love this older (possibly NSFW: side boobs) English-language Kinky production with an eight-bit video game look, the band’s tribute to Those Girls:

Mas…Kinky: In ‘Despues Del After’ a robot does the Chinese dougie (video)

Pocho Ocho Mexican products unlikely to make it in the U.S.

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Remember how Chevrolet totally FAILED when they introduced the Chevy Nova (photo) because “no va” means “it doesn’t go” in Spanish and people all over Latin America just laughed and laughed at the stupid gringos and didn’t buy any Novas? That story is bullshit.

But English en Espanol can be as wack as Spanish in Ingles, and that’s why these Pocho Ocho Mexican products have bleak sales prospects in Los United Estates:

8. Bicho Killer insecticide

7. Her Pez canned tuna

6. Golden Piscina bubble bath

Mas…Pocho Ocho Mexican products unlikely to make it in the U.S.

When Spanish in school was illegal: ‘When I Dream Dreams’ (video)

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Once upon a time in America, Latino kids were not allowed to speak Spanish in school. This documentary recalls those days.

In 1918, Texas, along with many other states, enacted statutes that made the speaking of any language other than English on public school grounds illegal. These laws remained active until the U.S. Congress passed the Bilingual Education Act in 1968.

Through personal interviews with distinguished leaders and educators — all native Spanish/English-speakers — When I Dream Dreams explores the complex psychological and social effects of these laws by relating the experiences of these people as students and, later, as teachers, professors, and legislators.

When I Dream Dreams was made by four students enrolled in an alternative media course at Trinity University in 2001. It has won prizes and festival appearances around the United States, including Best Student Film at the San Francisco Latino Film Festival 2002, Best of the Fest at Cine Accion 2002, and official selection at San Antonio’s Cine Festival 2002. The piece takes its name from the poem by Carmen Tafolla.

From Archive.org

It’s the bomb! Five-Second Films: ‘Vocabulario Explosivo’ (video)

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Yup. You figured it out. A five-second-long explosive video meant to help your Spanish vocabulary. Click to play. What do you have to lose?  OK.  Five seconds of your life.  Eight seconds if you include the opening and closing credits.  And yet, having a good vocabulary is worth the time. Am I right, people? *applause*

Romney’s new Spanish TV ad now available with English subtitles

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(PNS reporting from GUACHINGON) As the Mitt Romney works to grow support before the GOP convention, his campaign has reached out to Spanish-espeaking voters with a new ad, Dia Uno. POCHO translated the commercial for voters who don’t habla Español.

Pocho Ñews Service PNS is a wholly-fictitious subsidiary of Pochismo Inc., a California corporation, who is a person according to the Supreme Court.  Don’t ask us, we just work here.

Laurel and Hardy are El Gordo y El Flaco in ‘El Flaco Va Al Dentista’

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Is Will Ferrell — currently starring in Casa de Mi Padre — the first Anglo comic actor to make a Spanish-language comedy without knowing a word of Spanish?

No guey! As you can see in this old movie clip, black and white jailbirds Oliver Hardy and Stan Laurel AKA El Gordo y El Flaco visited the Dentista and delivered their lines phonetically from a script 60 or more years ago. If you don’t know about Ferrell’s movie, you can peep the trailer below — it’s in Spanish AND color!

Mas…Laurel and Hardy are El Gordo y El Flaco in ‘El Flaco Va Al Dentista’

Mississippi bill would require ‘green cards’ from Pocho Ricans

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(PNS reporting from OLE MISS) Inspired by the members of the University of Southern Mississippi marching band, state legislators passed a harsh new anti-immigration measure Wednesday and expect the bill to pass the Senate and be signed into law soon by Gov. Phil Bryant.

HB 488 requires law enforcement to investigate the immigration status of any person in custody thought to be in the country illegally and specifically targets American citizens from Puerto Rico. They are obligated to present a green card as well as prove proficiency in English.

The bill originally included provisions that would have required public schools to check the immigration status of all enrolled students and test their spelling proficiency. Those provisions were removed from the bill when it was discovered that many students could not spell Mississippi without singing it.

Mas…Mississippi bill would require ‘green cards’ from Pocho Ricans

Ricky Martin Santorum wants Puerto Rico to be blahlingual

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(PNS reporting from POCHO RICO) Former senator and current GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum caused a furor on this island yesterday when he said English would have to be the “main language” for the Puerto Rican Commonwealth to ever become a state.

To be fair, when Santorum told a campaign rally crowd here in San Juan that Puerto Ricans should make English the official language, he didn’t think they could understand English at all.

Mas…Ricky Martin Santorum wants Puerto Rico to be blahlingual

Pocho Ocho words that should be in the dictionary

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Sometimes finding the right word can be tricky, so you need to look them up. That’s why these eight pocho words need to go into the English dictionary:

8. Irregardless – That this word does not officially exist has never stopped anyone (including me) from using it. Why use regardless or irrespective when this one sounds so much better? If Sarah Palin can do it…

7. Expecially – Used to emphasize things that don’t really need emphasizing, such as “I love chocolate, expecially when it’s sweet.”

6. Libary – Often confused with library. No one really needs the second R and people will think you’re conceited if you use it. It’s still the same definition, just different a word.

Mas…Pocho Ocho words that should be in the dictionary

DYAC! Smartphone Spanglish spellcheck fails

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Amor gone amok

I’m a pocha, loud and proud, and I communicate in Spanglish.

Everywhere. In letters, in conversation, in emails, in cards and, most recently, in text messages. But, my BlackBerry hates my Spanglish and is constantly trying to correct it. In fact, it often changes my Spanish words to random English words when I try to send my messages, rendering them practically intelligible. Damn you, auto correct!

A few choice examples: “gracias” into “grass,” “mañana” into “banana,” “mucho” into “macho,” “chingado” into “changed,” “oyes” into “ones” and “amor” into “amok.”

–Sara Inés

Mas…DYAC! Smartphone Spanglish spellcheck fails

Sabado Pochonte Video: The Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy (en Inglés)

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robotaztecmummyThe Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy (La Momia Azteca Contro El Robot Humano): The walking Aztec mummy Popoca has returned, and this time he is pitted against a mad scientist and his creation, the Human Robot, a cyborg with a mechanical body, steel claws and a human head! Enjoy one hour of cheesy Mexican horror cinema from 1958 – poorly dubbed in unlikely English!

Mas…Sabado Pochonte Video: The Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy (en Inglés)