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Pocho Ocho top reasons Obama’s State of the Union gave us a sad

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barackonDespite the his many significant accomplishments and chingon new proposals, we were disappointed by what President Obama didn’t say at Tuesday night’s State of the Union address.

Here are the Pocho Ocho top reasons Obama’s SOTU gave us a sad:

8. Still no federal funding for Flying Trocas research.

7. Didn’t announce plan to make Ted Cruz first U.S. ambassador to Cuba.

6. No tax cuts for tamale entrepreneurs, thus no Pedro Herrera III in the audience to give a shout out to.

Mas…Pocho Ocho top reasons Obama’s State of the Union gave us a sad

Expect these Pocho Ocho surprises in tonight’s State of the Union

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obamabackWashington insiders all know tonight’s State of the Union address — like every one before — will bring a few surprises.

We asked around town, and our peeps say these are the top eight to watch for:

8. First use of the Booger-Cam™ captures candid live video of bored Republicans

7. Warmup act Oprah Winfrey to Congress: “You get a drone…and you get a drone. Everybody gets a drone!”

6. Obama cruises to the Capitol in a clean 1953 Packard limousine, a gift from the people of Cuba

Mas…Expect these Pocho Ocho surprises in tonight’s State of the Union

Pocho Ocho top immigration actions Obama will reveal tonight

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thistallPresident Barack Obama will defy Republican haters tonight and reveal “executive actions” to “fix the broken immigration system.”

Our sources at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue have shared a copy of the 5 PM EST speech and we can now reveal the Pocho Ocho top immigration reforms you’ll hear in the President’s address to the Nation:

8. If Central American child refugees can pat their heads and rub their tummies at the same time, they can cut in line.

7. Families of DREAMers are OK to stay if they mow the lawn.

6. Badges, stinking or otherwise, no longer needed.

Mas…Pocho Ocho top immigration actions Obama will reveal tonight

Rosebud Sioux Nation: Keystone XL Pipeline Vote is ‘Act of War’

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nycnokxlLast week’s vote to approve the controversial Keystone XL pipeline by the Republican-controlled United States House of Representatives constitutes an “act of war” and a “death warrant,” according to the South Dakota Rosebud Sioux (Lakota) Nation, Lakota Voice Rez News reported Friday.

Tribal President Cyril L. Scott rebuked the House, according to Rez News:

The House has now signed our death warrants and the death warrants of our children and grandchildren. The Rosebud Sioux Tribe will not allow this pipeline through our lands. We are outraged at the lack of intergovernmental cooperation. We are a sovereign nation and we are not being treated as such. We will close our reservation borders to Keystone XL. Authorizing Keystone XL is an act of war against our people.

Mas…Rosebud Sioux Nation: Keystone XL Pipeline Vote is ‘Act of War’

Meet the American Nazis who protect our US-Mexico border (video)

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bordernazisThese Nazis wear swastikas and call themselves National Socialists, sure, but they’re not really socialists. They’re more nationalists, really, supporting the White Nation. All they want to do is to save America from the loser and quitter immigrants who gave up on their home countries to invade the U.S. of A. After all, integration was forced on the White Man at the point of a bayonet. White people get racially profiled too, you know.

Mas…Meet the American Nazis who protect our US-Mexico border (video)

Been indicted and it feels so good: The Governor Rick Perry Story

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rickperryhorseWhen news broke Friday that GOP presidential nominee wannabe Texas Governor Rick Perry (photo) was indicted on two counts of abuse of power, we were pissed off because we were in the middle of a conference call and didn’t that grand jury know our meeting schedule and publishing deadlines?

We realized later, however, that we had a treasure trove of Perry-ana that could be given fresh life on the Interwebs with a cool big-ass image of Perry, a clever headline and lots of SEO-friendly keywords.

POCHO proudly presents PREVIOUSLY ON INDICTED TEXAS GOVERNOR RICK PERRY THEATRE:

Mas…Been indicted and it feels so good: The Governor Rick Perry Story

Alaskans praise candidate who will save us from illegals with tats

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joemillerracistmailer (PNS reporting from ANCHORAGE, AK) Some they call him Joe, some they call him Doh! but one group of Alaska voters is 100% behind Joe Miller, the Tea Party-affiliated candidate who is seeking a United States Senate nomination.

“His campaign mailer (click on photo to enlarge) convinced us that Miller will do a great job keeping the thriving Latino community of Alaska in check,” read a press release issued Thursday by Cecilia Jones, the president of National Organization for Minorities, Advertisements, Media Exposure and Symbolism. “And that especially goes for your drug-dealing border-crossing tat-wearing illegal alien Democrat voters!”

Mas…Alaskans praise candidate who will save us from illegals with tats

Oklahoma GOP uses jumping bean in a sombrero on fundraising flyer

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jumping150Come for the (Mexican jumping) “GOP Bean Feed,” read the Oklahoma Republican Party fundraising flyer, and maybe you’ll stay for the KKK lecture. No offense, though.

Truthyism has the story:

Oklahoma democrats were shocked to see the crude racially charged image of a Mexican jumping bean on a GOP fundraising flyer for governor Mary Fallin which claimed to have information about the KKK.

In fact, many had assumed this was a hoax or a parody.

Mas…Oklahoma GOP uses jumping bean in a sombrero on fundraising flyer

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