ignorant
Pocho Ocho things Donald Trump wants you to know about Mexicans
Because he wants to make America great again, GOP presidential nominee wannabe Donald Trump shared some nasty knowledge about Mexican immigrants when he announced his candidacy Tuesday (video).
They’re rapists, he said, and bring crime and drugs.
But that’s not all! Here are are Pocho Ocho top things Donald Trump also wants you to know about Mexicans:
8. If you rub a Mexican’s tummy just the right way, they’ll wiggle they brown little arms and legs and say “Squee squee squee” but in Mexican of course.
7. Mexican show business is infested with thesbians.
6. Mexicans are so crazy lazy they will take your job.
Mas…Pocho Ocho things Donald Trump wants you to know about Mexicans
Texas Senate to ban ‘non-traditional’ colored sneakers on floor
(PNS reporting from AUSTIN) The Texas Senate is set to pass legislation to ban “non-traditional” colored sneakers on the chamber floor.
Sen. Dan Ireland (R-Dallas) introduced Senate Bill 5 to “raise sartorialism of the chamber by mandating the use of traditional colors of sneakers.”
The Texas legislature has begun its second special session to push through legislation that sent thousands of Texans to the Capitol to protest last week. Ireland called these Texans the “unruly mob, whose decorum and multi-colored footwear, left much to be desired.”
SB5 “mandates that all sneakers worn shall be plain white.”
Mas…Texas Senate to ban ‘non-traditional’ colored sneakers on floor
Pocho Ocho new ignorant GOP proposals for Texas (photos, video)
The anti-abortion SB5 bill was delayed but not defeated after Sen. Wendy Davis’s spectacular filibuster with pink sneakers, but the battle for common sense in Texas (photo, above) continues.
We already told you about the attempt to outlaw “looking too Mexican,” but that’s not the only trick the Republicans have up their (cotton-poly-blend) sleeves.
From our Ostin Especial Correspondents — this just in — here are the GOP’s Pocho Ocho new proposals for Texas:
8. Henceforth, the value for Pi π shall, for efficiency purposes, be rounded down to 3.00; additionally only apple pi is permitted
7. SB666, dubbed the “God Is My Co-Pilot Bill,” requires a Gideon Bible in every glove compartment
6. Hug a tree, go to jail
Mas…Pocho Ocho new ignorant GOP proposals for Texas (photos, video)
Colbert Report: Do Hispanics cost trillion$ and have low IQs? (video)
It takes an ace newsman like Stephen Colbert to get to the bottom of the barrel of reasons why the Heritage Foundation’s report on immigration says legalization will cost us six trillion dollars and the entire Hispanic race has lower IQs than native white Americans.
Hey, wetbacks! Meet Rep. Don Young (R-AK) [audio]
Meet Congressman Don Young, a Republican from Alaska, who just called agricultural laborers who once worked on his father’s ranch “wetbacks.”
In a radio interview Thursday with KRDB this fine American legislator was full of the kind of wisdom that has inspired the deep thoughts of his homegirl, Sarah Palin, and assorted white power NRA-voting posses, militias and tea parties across the U.S. of A.
A three-second clip is at the bottom of this story. Play it here or download it and make it into a ring tone, or an auto-tuned viral meme! Thanks to KRDB for the audio. Oh, and here are the phone numbers for all the Congressman’s offices.
New study: Racists are less likely to understand satire
(PNS reporting from DIXIE) In a groundbreaking study just released by Atlanta’s Center for Brain Development Place, scientists have found that the more racist an individual is the less likely he or she is to comprehend satire.
In the controversial study, published in Totally Not Made Up Magazine last week, participants were asked to read an article titled “Monkey escapes from zoo, spreads poop and socialism” and then asked to comment.
Scientists found that those who believed the monkey should be taught to uphold democracy and abstain from sex before marriage but without the use of taxpayer money were 10 times more likely to be racists.
Hey Donald Trump: Where is your college yearbook photo?
We have a question for Donald Trump:
Where is your 1968 college graduation photo? It’s not in your college yearbook, the University of Pennsylvania Record.
You’ve written that you were “very glad to get finished.” Too busy for a senior photo?
The Record also notes the Celebrity Apprentice performer comes from someplace called “Jamaica” in New York State, which doesn’t sound very American.
Come clean, Donald: Did you really graduate like you claim? And if you did, where is your photo? How about a diploma?
Otherwise, you’re fired!
Gov. Willard ‘Mitt’ Romney according to The New York Times (photo)
“At his worst, Mr. Romney sounded like a beauty pageant contestant groping for an answer to the final question…” –Editorial, The New York Times.
GOP’s Akin to release childrens’ book on babies
(PNS reporting from MISSOURI) Rep. (and Senatorial hopeful) Todd Akin (R-MO) intends to write and publish a children’s book that explains to kids how babies are made, according to his staff.
The colorful How Non-Forcible Rape Babies Are Made explains Akin’s understanding of how the human reproductive system works in clear, simple language and bright illustrations especially written for Tea Party Republican voters who approve of his recent comments on rape and pregnancy.
The touchy subject is elucidated in loving and religious detail:
When a rapist loves a mommy, Jesus reaches down from heaven and touches the mommy’s tummy and the miracle of life is created. The end.
Brave right-wing bloggers expose Obummer’s ‘Operation Fork & Furious’
The fearless frackers at the dead Breitbart blog (screen capture, right) are all outraged about a so-called “security action” before the President’s speech last week at the NALEO conference:
Judging from Obama’s actions at this years National Association of Latino Elected Officials (NALEO) luncheon, Obama’s newest fear is Latinos with forks. Obama had the Secret Service confiscate all the dinner forks from the participants at the June 22 event held in Orlando, Florida.
Hats off, Breitbarfers! You discovered a new conspiracy where none existed before, and you didn’t have to use deceptively-edited video to make your fake-ass point.
Mas…Brave right-wing bloggers expose Obummer’s ‘Operation Fork & Furious’