Thanks to Professor Eliza Rodriguez Y Gibson who pointed my now-scalded eyes, my scarred Mexican-American soul, to this fantabulous atrocity!
Haute couture non-mexican “cholos”!!!! Holy Baudrillard meets Eddie J. Olmos’s Pachuco — who would be rolling over in his grave if he weren’t still thriving in Hollywood!
For me, that’s weird. You see the bulk of the first part of my life was bound up with reading—which is all about looking at things, reading words, but has little to do with seeing, with reading pictures.
But after that came college and graduate school with a major in literature—so novels took over (that and critical theory), so words came to dominate the scene of my life.
Rosbeef! (Slogan: We’re creative and we have common sense; how cool is that!?) came up with a marketing combo plate of an Old El Paso Restaurante taco truck, taco selfies and the hashtag #1PHOTOPOUR1TACO. Share a photo with the hashtag, they said, and get a free taco made with El Paso stuff and a digital coupon to buy El Paso products at the market. ¡Que rico! Ooh la la tambien aussi!
Here’s the “case study” video:
The notorious drug lord is a whole new vato now — and here are the Pocho Ocho Top Ways You Can Tell El Chapo Has “Gone Hollywood”:
8. He’s dating Kate Hudson
7. He’s on an all-cactus juice cleanse to drop weight for the upcoming pilot season
6. He just reached 200k followers on Instagram
When Chuy’s sister Angie hogs the bathroom taking selfies, Smiley interrupts the subsequent sibling discussion with insight from author, artist and poet e.e. cummings.
PREVIOUSLY ON SARACHICAD’S NAILS:
Millennials — this means you! Whether you need a fitness regime for your swiping fingers, interval training for Instagram, improved low-impact Twitter technique or advanced aerobic Facebook, you need to be @ #TheGym. Ask about February special prices for Mega-Gigabyte Torrent Training™, Skiing with Skype™, and Building Better Abs with Bitcoin™.
He’s Mr. Selfie. He lives in London and apparently sleeps alone. Does he resemble anyone you know?
That symbol we used to call the “number sign” or “pound sign” that they now call as “hash sign” — # — is ruining social media. All the cool kids have switched over to what we used to call the “percent sign” — % — to make social media a better place for you and me, especially me. Try the new % F*ckyer sign and find out yourself! [NSFW adult language.]
8. The “It’s that time of the month” selfie featuring sanitary napkins or tampons, either used or not, and/or a sad face.
7. The “I’m in the bathroom but I swear I didn’t just take a shit” selfie featuring a peace sign, your face, the bathroom mirror and the toilet you just used in the background.
6. The “Look I have friends, I swear” selfie with a group of people you never talk about or reference, but refer to as “besties,” “bros,” or “homies” every few months in the selfies you take together.
(PNS reporting from FORT WORTH, TX) Leon Ortiz (photo, center) was scrolling through his Facebook newsfeed last week when he saw a post that changed his life forever. The post, co-authored by former President Bill Clinton (photo, left) and pop star Kayne West (photo, right), celebrated the importance of following your dreams.
“You know, I think it was Fate — with a capital ‘F.’ It was 3:42 PM on a Thursday and I was feeling frustrated at my account manager job at an international insurance company. I felt a spiritual lightness I had never experienced before,” the Arlington Heights man told PNS.
“It was amazing, like all my ennui and weltschmerz was gone!”
(PNS reporting from LAS VEGAS) Exciting new tablet/mobile apps and wearable tech were the stars at Friday’s Cholo Electronics Show (CES) here.
Generating the most buzz was the free Chologram™ app from Firme Junior Systems of Oakland. The Instagram wannabe showed off software with patented La Vida Loca Lifestyle image effects, including the one-click application of teardrop tattoos to a facial image. The premium version ($5.99) removes teardrop tattoos from a photo. The application runs on iOS and Android systems, smartphones and tablets. No pinches Windows phones.
Trying acupuncture to reduce pain in foot killed by botched back surgery pic.twitter.com/zfJlGU1nvS
— Geraldo Rivera (@GeraldoRivera) September 17, 2013
The award-winning TV newsman also shows a little leg.
PREVIOUSLY ON GERALDO RIVERA SELFIES:
Virgen de #Guadalupe #mural #streetart in #Highland Park. I think the barbed wire is an especially nice touch. #Latinas #latism
(PNS reporting from PORTLAND) Mario Rojas grew up in a tough Chicago barrio, but since he moved here for college he’s gotten soft, according his friends and family. His old street cred is gone, they worry, and he doesn’t resemble the Mario they used to know.
“He’s all into that hipster shit, organic and whatever, qué es eso? Organic ni nada, ponte a trabajar!” said Rojas’ father, Mario Sr., when contacted by PNS.
Eating a gluten-free alfalfa sprout and chevre cheese taco on an organic blue corn tortilla — and then getting tagged in an Instagram photo by his friend Maggie — didn’t helped Mario Jr.’s reputation either. Until the stylized photographic foul-up, Rojas kept his family in the dark by never sharing pictures of his newly-grown beard, clothes, or food preferences.