abuelita

I’d rather eat canned menudo than whatever is cooking in your kitchen.

I said it and I don’t regret it.

The reasons are simple and clear; here are four: [Mas…]

nanaWhile advances in technology make some areas of our lives easier, good old-fashioned child rearing has become more complicated.

In our grandparent’s day, it was a simpler time. They didn’t have the luxury of worrying about play dates and preschool applications.

I have a motto that has become a guiding principle for applying “old school” methods to present day parenting.

What would nana do?

I’m barely awake, preparing breakfast while holding the baby, trying to sip on day old coffee when my toddler asks me to cut her bread into shapes.

WWND? In nana’s day, a square slice was the only shape you were going to get.

It’s 4:30 pm, the witching hour. Despite the baby screaming all day, I’ve proudly set the table and prepared a healthy dinner. My toddler takes one look at her plate and breaks down in tears because she wants ice cream for dinner. [Mas…]

cucahillaryabuela

IGgrannyipad(PNS reporting from CHICAGO) Rigoberto “Rigo” Chavez, 15, cringed in horror when he logged into Facebook Thursday morning and received a notification that his abuelita had once again commented on his status.

The high school junior had posted a status that read “$waaaag$” and Abuelita replied in ALL CAPS:

CACHORRITO ERES LA LUZ DE MI VIDA. CUIDATE MUCHO TE QUIERO [Mas…]

(PNS reporting from SAN ANTONIO) Sandra Ceballos made a shocking discovery Friday night when she was out with her girlfriends.

The standards she’d been using to find a good husband were, as her friend Jenny put it, “appallingly low.”

Ceballos, whose family is from Mexico, was raised to believe that if a man is not too much of a drunk, works hard, and doesn’t beat you, he’s “good husband material.” [Mas…]

Abuelita Reviews: These Kanye-style shades are cray-cray (video)

by Bronco del Camino May 15, 2014 Cultura
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Abuelita wants to step up her look with cool-looking shades, so she’s checking out Kanye West style sunglasses, John Lennon specs and heavy black hipster models. Which style is right for her? PREVIOUSLY ON ABUELITA REVIEWS:

[Mas…]

Abuelita Reviews: Lingerie – Which bra is right for you? (video)

by Comic Saenz May 8, 2014 Cultura
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Abuelita (Altagracia Guzman) knows her chichis (or “titties” as she calls them) and which bras are best – the padded bra or la flimsy, risqué model. PREVIOUSLY ON ABUELITA REVIEWS:

[Mas…]

Abuelita Reviews: Snacks — healthy or not healthy? (video)

by JEFE BOYARDEE April 24, 2014 Cultura
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Which is better — healthy nori seaweed snacks or fatty, spicy bad-carb-loaded chips? Your Abuelita knows best! PREVIOUSLY ON ABUELITA REVIEWS:

[Mas…]

Abuelita Fashionista! Grandma reviews men’s undies (video)

by Verdana Bold April 17, 2014 Cultura
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What kind of men’s chonies does your grandma like? Boxers? Briefs? La Flama’s Abuelita has her own opinions. PREVIOUSLY ON CHONIES:

[Mas…]

Abuela Mexi-twerks to marimba street band (video)

by MOON GUAC April 7, 2014 Cultura
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When a killer marimba street band starts laying down epic beats, what’s Abuelita to do? Dance, dance baby.

[Mas…]

La Cucaracha: It’s Abuelita Night @ Titan’s Bar y Grill (toon)

by Lalo Alcaraz March 24, 2014 Cartoons
Thumbnail image for La Cucaracha: It’s Abuelita Night @ Titan’s Bar y Grill (toon)
[Mas…]

Grandmother: What a big beatbox you have! (video)

by MOON GUAC February 28, 2014 Cultura
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When this Mexican abuelita gets to beatboxing, no one is safe!

[Mas…]

@SaraChicaD wishes you and yours a ‘Japi Sansgiven!’ (video)

by Moctezuma Cortés November 21, 2013 Cultura
Thumbnail image for @SaraChicaD wishes you and yours a ‘Japi Sansgiven!’ (video)

POCHO’s Subcommandanta del Ñews Sara Inés Calderón (@SaraChicaD on the Tuiter) wishes everyone a Japi Sansgiven — that’s Mexican Thanksgiving for you gringos. PREVIOUSLY ON @SARACHICAD:

[Mas…]

Twerking abuelita brings all the boys to the yard (video)

by TIM YUKON DANZA October 1, 2013 Cultura
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Face it, pochos. You don’t get to be an abuelita unless you know how to dance for a fella!

[Mas…]

Maybe we really DO need Hispanic Heritage Month (toon)

by ERIC J. GARCIA September 18, 2013 Cartoons
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PREVIOUSLY ON RICK BAYLESS:

[Mas…]

Pocho Ocho absolutely worst things to do with a Taco Bell burrito

by Especial Correspondents March 5, 2013 El Now
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Eric Brown, 36, of Pt. Lucie, FL, is awaiting an arraignment for “assault” because he allegedly threw a Taco Bell burrito in his 16-year-old brother-in-law’s face. Just so you don’t run afoul of the Law of Burritos, make note of the pocho ocho things you should never EVER do with a Taco Bell burrito: 8. […]

[Mas…]

Quick, hide! The GOP is channeling my dead Abuelita!

by Elise Valderrama September 27, 2012 El Now
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Some people think the Republican Party has gone crazy; others just think they are severely out of touch. Both of these assumption are wrong. The GOP has been possessed by the spirit of my dear late Abuela Elisa to spite me for being such a malcriada. If you don’t believe en los espiritos, explain this:

[Mas…]

Dear Abuelita: Obama or Romney? Flour or corn? Quinceaneras?

by Dear Abuelita May 23, 2012 Cultura
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Dear Abuelita, What are you drinking? Is that “Chocolate Abuelita?” It looks different. Anyway…I heard that Mitt Romney really likes Hispanics. Do you think I should vote for him or should I vote for my Negrito again? At least I know that he supports the Dream Act. Aayy! Abuelita, please ease my worries. Signed, Aye […]

[Mas…]

Dear Abuelita: Gay for a day, my 34C boobs, a career in modeling

by Dear Abuelita May 2, 2012 Cultura
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Dear Abuelita, I wear a 34C bra. My boyfriend is always scoping out girls with bigger boobs. Should I get implants? Titi Caca Dear Titi Caca, Here’s what you need to do: Tell your boyfriend to look in the mirror the next time he wants to see a big boob then dump the pendejo. As […]

[Mas…]

Dear Abuelita: Is my girlfriend really a virgin? And why no sex now?

by Dear Abuelita March 28, 2012 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Dear Abuelita: Is my girlfriend really a virgin? And why no sex now?

Dear Abuelita: I am a 20-year-old Latino man. My girlfriend will not have sex with me until we get married and she insists she’s a virgin. I’m not sure she’s telling the truth. Is there any way to tell if she’s a virgin or not? Crazy with Celibacy Dear Crazy with Celibacy: Ever hear of “something […]

[Mas…]