COMIC SAENZ
Abuelita wants to step up her look with cool-looking shades, so she’s checking out Kanye West style sunglasses, John Lennon specs and heavy black hipster models. Which style is right for her?
PREVIOUSLY ON ABUELITA REVIEWS:
Mas…Abuelita Reviews: These Kanye-style shades are cray-cray (video)
Today’s word is chipotle, a smoke-dried jalapeño chile pepper. It’s also the name of a national food chain. It’s a difficult word to pronounce properly, so listen closely.
PREVIOUSLY ON CHIPOTLE:
Mas…Proper Pronunciation for Pochos: ‘How to Say Chipotle’ (video)
Happy birthday, dead Ritchie Valens, born this day in 1941.
Valens, from the L.A. suburb of Pacoima, was born Richard Steven Valenzuela and some consider him the father of Chicano rock.
Pocho Valens didn’t espeak Espanish, so he sang the lyrics to his biggest hit record from a phonetic cheat sheet.
And then he died.
For your Ritchie-listening pleasure, we are pleased to feature two versions of La Bamba, the original 1958 “keep the tape running” recording sessions, and then the actual hit record.
Everybody scream now:
Mas…Happy Birthday Ritchie Valens, Pocho Pride of Pacoima (music videos)
Ritchie Valens, 1950s Pacoima pocho teenage idol, would have been 73 years old today, except for that day the music died. Cutty Flam, the alt.rock.band from your black-and-white-retro future, made this video tribute, performing Ritchie’s hit Donna.
It’s one of a series of Valens tribute videos, as EddieG explains:
Mas…Ritchie Valens birthday tribute: Cutty Flam does ‘Donna’ (video)
(PNS reporting from CAMBRIDGE, MASS) Did you know that the more lawyers there are in Puerto Rico, the more people die from falling out of their beds?
That’s the startling statistical relationship discovered by the prestigious Harvard Law-school-based Spurious Correlations Institute, one of many recently revealed on their website.
Mas…Did Puerto Rican lawyers cause rise in bed-fall fatalities?
Sweet and Tasty TV’s Professor Oh checks out the Mexican food at Vatos Urban Tacos in Seoul, South Korea. It’s puro L.A. fusion style – Korean kalbi beef tacos a la Kogi, pork carnitas and Baja-style fish tacos. Fresh guacamole and cool Coronas, too. Not to mention Nutella nachos.
PREVIOUSLY ON MEXICAN FOOD:
Mas…Authentic tacos in Seoul, South Korea – and Nutella nachos (video)
It’s not every day mariachis dressed in white play the theme from the classic Nintendo (NES) game Super Mario Bros; you don’t get married every day either. This musical gift, according to the uploader, was a surprise from the bride to the groom.
And here’s the Nintendo original:
Mas…Mariachi wedding band plays ‘Super Mario Bros.’ theme (videos)
Here’s how NPR Music producer Jasmine Garsd tells the story:
For the first installment in the Mi Casa Es Tu Casa series with Fusion, a Mexican band invites Alt.Latino into its house for lively conversation and great music.
Ever since I moved to Mexico City, I’ve been overwhelmed by the amount of music at my fingertips. I’m not just talking about amazing concerts: So many artists from all over Latin America live here in Mexico, and I love being here to check in on their creative process.
Los Angeles “Paisley Underground” band The Bangles’ tune September Gurls gets a remake by History Teachers to tell the story of The Olmecs and those big stone heads.
Mira the History Teachers’ lyrics:
The Olmec heads
From long ago
Where they came from
No one knows
How do animators give drawings The Illusion of Life? Cento Lodigiani explains:
The 12 basic principles of animation were developed by the ‘old men’ of Walt Disney Studios, amongst them Frank Thomas and Ollie Johnston, during the 1930s.
Mas…Animation 101: Giving your characters ‘The Illusion of Life’ (video)
Abuelita (Altagracia Guzman) knows her chichis (or “titties” as she calls them) and which bras are best – the padded bra or la flimsy, risqué model.
PREVIOUSLY ON ABUELITA REVIEWS:
Mas…Abuelita Reviews: Lingerie – Which bra is right for you? (video)
Stunning Hawaii footage of Mexican-American surfer Kai Mana gets mashed up with Cheech and Chong’s song Mexican-Americans and it’s a video win.
PREVIOUSLY ON SURF MUSIC:
Mas…Watch: Surfing ‘Mexican-Americans’ mashup (Cheech and Chong)
A mama black bear — probably from Mexico — and her cub climb a Texas canyon wall to escape the pinche OSO MIGRA. [Warning: Annoying loud wind noise audio — you probably want to lower your volume.]
In Italy, Pancho Bello, a chihuahua, and his human, a man named Nic Bello, perform their yoga routine together.
PREVIOUSLY ON CHIHUAHUAS:
| ESPANOL: La India María debe encontrar a toda costa en lo recóndito de una montaña, El Mágico Espejo Negro de Tezcatlipoca, pues el espíritu de su bisabuelo Moctezuma Xocoyotzin así lo ha ordenado para evitar la destrucción de México.
Alonso, un atractivo arqueólogo español, Bianchi, un tramposo busca-tesoros y Brígida Troncoso — una ambiciosa gobernadora, se enteran de la existencia del dichoso Espejo, del misterioso Tesoro de Moctezuma y de la tal María, por lo que todos emprenden una frenética persecución detrás de ella para apoderarse del cristal mágico y del oro. |
ENGLISH: La India María (born María Nicolasa Cruz) must find, at all costs, hidden away in a big mountain, The Magic Black Mirror of Tezcatlipoca. She’s on a mission ordered by the spirit of her great grandfather Moctezuma Xocoyotzin,and she must succeed to stop the destruction of all Mexico.
Alonso, an attractive Spanish architect, Bianchi, a crazy treasure hunter and Brígida Troncoso, an ambitious governor, all find out about the existence of the Mirror, the mysterious Treasure of Moctezuma and María, which is why everyone pursues her to try to take away the magical crystal and gold. |
After the Cuban Communist Revolution, auto sports were banned as elitist, but now they’re back. Hot rods are drag-racing down the streets of Havana — with the blessing of the Party! FUSION reports.
PREVIOUSLY ON CUBA:
(PNS reporting from PUEBLA, MX) Federales have finished cleaning up the streets of this southeastern city after a three-day battle between area gangsters and a French gang left 83 locals and 462 gabachos dead, PNS has learned.
The Marseilles gang (“La Eme”) — sent to collect a drug debt allegedly owed by the Puebla-based Ignacio Zaragosa clika (the “Zetas”) — was overwhelmed by the fierce Mexican gangbangers.
Faulty HUMINT (human intelligence) was also a factor.
Based on bogus tips from informants who called themselves “los mentirosos,” which La Eme interpreted as “mentors,” the frogs engaged the enemy at noon. La Eme expected the Zeta sentries to be taking siestas with their sombreros pulled so low they couldn’t see the advancing gunmen. And the close-by burros? The French plan relied on the overhwhelming odor of naturally estanky donkeys to mask the telltale scent of French breath-de-fromage.
But the Zetas were not asleep and those weren’t your mother’s burritos.
Mas…Cartel street fight in Puebla, MX crushes French gang invaders
Roberta Valderrama goes deep into the real heartland of the real America, stand beside her and guide her, to get the real story on the Tea Party, through the night with a light from above.
PREVIOUSLY ON ROBERTA VALDERRAMA:
Enjoy the Internacional, the world-wide (Get it? It’s international!) anthem of those red commie cabrones in Cuba and Venezuela and China and North Korea (and lurking in secretive cells everywhere else but the lame stream media sheeple won’t tell you that.)
May 1 is May Day AKA International Workers’ Day. Today the communist comrades sing this stirring appeal, with its hummable melody and a vague vision of a better future that’s hard to disagree with, except maybe the LUCHA FINAL aspect.
Yet even as they sing this Kommie Kumbaya, the Marxist minions are locking millions up arbitrarily, invading foreign countries, spying on their fellow citizens and — we’ve read reports — killing innocent civilians by remote control. Oh, wait.
THE INTERNATIONALE LYRICS IN ENGLISH AND SPANISH:
Mas…Happy May Day from the Workers of the World (music video, lyrics)
Your Official Hacker Name is easy to generate.
(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) Disgraced L.A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling, born Donald Tokowitz in Boyle Heights, started off his career in racism early, according to a note uncovered late Tuesday night by the Historical East Latino Los Angeles (HELLA) research project.
Mas…Breaking: Old school papers reveal racist kid Donald Sterling
Racism is back in the news, thanks to racist cowboy militias and a racist rich old white guy.
The Daily Show’s Senior Black Correspondent Larry Wilmore is happy to explain it all to Jon Stewart. Because, after all, racism is so UNUSUAL these days!
RECENTLY ON RACISM:
Mas…The Daily Show: A great week for racism in America! (video)
Sweet dreams are made of this -- who am I to disagree?
I travel the world and the seven seas. Everybody's looking for something.
Elise Roedenbeck — she’s @buttronica on the Twitter — learned the same lesson when she investigated the top porn search terms broken down by state. Everybody’s looking for something. They’re looking for massage. And cream pie. And cream pie massages. In somebody else’s state, right? Don’t be so sure.
PREVIOUSLY ON STUFF BROKEN DOWN BY STATES:
Mas…Elise Roedenbeck: Top porn search terms by state (video)
Marchers hit the streets in 20 Brazilian cities Saturday with the goal of legalizing weed and ending the War on Drugs. In Sao Paolo, protestors flew a large papier maché marijuana spliff over the crowd of roughly 8,000. The chelovek who uploaded this video broke all the shots down, in case you have probs with your short-term memory retention:
WBAI (NYC) DJ Jay Smooth analyzes the Donald Sterling tape chingadera and wonders why adjudicated racist Sterling needed to get caught saying something before people got pissed. East Los homeboy Sterling has been an evil guy for years. And what about the the girlfriend?
PREVIOUSLY ON DONALD STERLING:
Mas…Jay Smooth: The multi-layered racism of Donald Sterling (video)
Papa Ignacio is a pygmy albino donkey, Mama Rayas is your regular striped zebra. Ignacio used to sneak over from his farm to Rayas’ place at the zoo for some sexy time, and vice versa. Then nature took over and brought young zonkey Rayas to the zoo in Tamaulipas, MX. It’s a miracle because typically a chromosome mismatch keeps the two species from interbreeding. But that’s what they also said about La Malinche.
Paul and Petra Ratner made a film called Moses on the Mesa, which tells the true story of Solomon Bibo, the Jewish governor of the Native American tribe of Acoma in the days of the Wild West. And along the way (part of their quest for historical accuracy) they assembled a treasure trove of period photos of Indians, which they share on Facebook.
Mas…Cutest historical Native American baby pics evah! (photos)
The human rights marketeers are dead set against *&^%$#@ snakes on a plane. You’d think that with all the groping and X-rays, the TSA could easily detect assholes, but not so much.
It’s hard being an Asian in America, Tony Vinh explains to the crowd at Cap City Comedy Club in Austin, TX. For example, you can get racially profiled and people think you have a small penis. [NSFW adult language.]
PREVIOUSLY ON ASIANS:
We’re not climate scientists but we’re pretty sure it rains a lot more in Mexico than in, say, Saudi Arabia. Here’s why.
PREVIOUSLY ON TELEVISION:
Mas…Why does it rain in Mexico but not the Middle East? (video)
This story is not about the shameful racist pro sports team mascots that purport to honor Native Americans. It’s about icky Senhor Testiculo (photo, above left), the mascot of Brazil’s cancer society, who we think has just been “out-grossed” by Mr. Poo (photo, right), who comes to us from UNICEF in India.
Señor Poo is central to a publicity campaign to urge kids in India to Take the Poo to the Loo (instead of taking a dump somewhere in the open.)
Mas…Mascot Madness! Brazil’s Mr. Balls, meet India’s Mr. Poo (NSFW video)
Steven Alvarez, POCHO amigo and Assistant Professor (Writing Rhetoric and Digital Media, Latin America Studies, English) at the University of Kentucky, teaches a course called Mexington, about the growing community of Mexican Americans in UKY’s hometown, Lexington.
Here’s a student podcast interview with the Profe (he’s on the Twitter, too) and a few selected photos from the recent field trip he led to Mexington.
Mas…Mexicans + Lexington, Kentucky = ‘Mexington’ (photos, audio)
