Cultura

It’s Not News to Us

eBay ‘sniper’ outbids local man for ‘Chola Low Riders’ pulp magazine

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(PNS reporting from PDX) Area collector Reynaldo “Ronnie” Morales’ heart was broken Sunday night when a last-minute auction bid from an eBay “sniper” pushed the coveted September 1953 issue of Amazing Future Tales out of his grasp and into the arms of another.

The sniper killed Morale’s chances with a $37.83 winning bid.

Mas…eBay ‘sniper’ outbids local man for ‘Chola Low Riders’ pulp magazine

Ken Burns Super Bowl commercial angers minority farmworkers

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(PNS reporting from FRESNO) Latino farmworkers say Dodge’s American Farmer Super Bowl commercial is a bunch of manure, according to Claude Rhodappel, spokesman for the Minority Organization for Farmworkers and Obreros (MOFO).

The commercial, directed by filmmaker Ken Burns, used crisp documentary-style photography to celebrate America’s farmers while espousing the values of Dodge’s Ram Truck. 

MOFO is objecting to the fact that almost all of the farmers depicted in the ad were white, with the exception of one African-American man, who was included as the “Magical Negro” featured in so many Hollywood productions.

Mas…Ken Burns Super Bowl commercial angers minority farmworkers

PNS*Hot*Flash: ‘Enemy of my enema is my friend’

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(PNS reporting from FLUSHING, N.Y.)  This just in: Long Island dry cleaner Beau Riqua was an unhappy man this morning when he prevented nurses from administering an enema prescribed by his doctor.  Riqua, who was visiting internist Dr. Lee Cuado with concerns about bloating, was upset that Cuado, a longtime friend, recommended this delicate procedure.

“That charlatan is just getting revenge because he lost $500 to me on a Super Bowl bet,” says Riqua, “so now he’s on my list. Go Ravens!”

Mas…PNS*Hot*Flash: ‘Enemy of my enema is my friend’

PNS*Hot*Flash: GOP aims to cut ‘uppity’ February to 26 days

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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) This just in: Republican House Majority Leader Eric Cantor has introduced a bill to shorten February to 26 days. Cantor says February is getting too “uppity” and two of its days should be given to April, which he claims is being discriminated against as “the cruellest month,” because it features the observance of “Confederate History Month” and “Patriots Day.”  The bill also aims to cancel leap years, just to be a dick.

Mas…PNS*Hot*Flash: GOP aims to cut ‘uppity’ February to 26 days

New study: Racists are less likely to understand satire

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(PNS reporting from DIXIE) In a groundbreaking study just released by Atlanta’s Center for Brain Development Place, scientists have found that the more racist an individual is the less likely he or she is to comprehend satire.

In the controversial study, published in Totally Not Made Up Magazine last week, participants were asked to read an article titled “Monkey escapes from zoo, spreads poop and socialism” and then asked to comment.

Scientists found that those who believed the monkey should be taught to uphold democracy and abstain from sex before marriage but without the use of taxpayer money were 10 times more likely to be racists.

Mas…New study: Racists are less likely to understand satire

HBO to launch Latina version of ‘Girls’ called ‘Chicas’

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(PNS reporting from NEW YORK CITY) HBO’s mega hit Girls is getting a spin-off — a Latina version called Chicas.

“We woke up and smelled the cafecito,” producer Elizabeth Ferris told a press conference here this morning, “and the pan dulce.”

“The success of Girls is indisputable and we want to be able to bring that success to the Latino community,”  Ferris said. “I don’t know if any Latinos actually watch Girls, but everyone is into the ‘Latino thing’ these days, so why not Chicas?”

Mas…HBO to launch Latina version of ‘Girls’ called ‘Chicas’

Shocking video: Big Brother confiscates the ‘Last Hand Gun on Earth’

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Big Brother has detected a pistol — the Last Hand Gun on Earth — in a security bunker in Pasadena, and it’s up to daring Commander Adenoid and his spaceship crew to locate, remove and retrieve the deadly weapon before it’s too late. Will their strap-on Gucci jetpacks function in the alien San Gabriel Valley environment? Can they escape the missiles of the pursuing anti-aircraft Edsel? Will the rocket techs get overtime?

Ladies: Get men to look you in the eyes with new ‘Tittaes’ (video)

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God gave us chi-chis and we’re thankful for that, but really, guys, how hard is it for you to look us in the eyes instead of staring at our breasts? Am I right, girls? Wait — there’s an app for that. Marion Cotillard introduces Tittaes. They’re from France!

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Back from Baja vacay, local man laments Cabo’s lack of Mexican food

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(PNS reporting from PHILADELPHIA) Bobby Mueller doesn’t want to be unkind, really. “My mother taught me that if you don’t have something nice to say, it’s better to say nothing at all,” he explains. “But the so-called Mexican food in Cabo San Lucas bites the big one.”

The University City marketing rep, who returned Sunday night from a week-long vacation on the southern tip of Mexico’s Baja California peninsula, was complaining to friends at a local brew-pub-salumeria.

“I spent an entire week looking for decent quinoa taquitos with pesto guacamole,” the self-described ‘foodie’ said, “and do you think I found them anywhere? No dice, dude. Zilch. Nada!”

Mas…Back from Baja vacay, local man laments Cabo’s lack of Mexican food

POCHO’s Lalo Alcaraz toons up Sotomayor interview on ’60 Minutes’

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Was that a cartoon by POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz hanging on Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor’s office wall in Sunday night’s 60 Minutes interview? Why yes it was!

Note from Lalo: The original cartoon, entitled L’il Judge Lopez, is signed by me and my daughter, who was the model/inspiration for the little girl in the toon.

Here’s the full-sized version of the cartoon and the 60 Minutes interview (cartoon @ 11:37):

Mas…POCHO’s Lalo Alcaraz toons up Sotomayor interview on ’60 Minutes’

Pocho Ocho worst new ‘Latino’ perfume scents after Eau de Tamales

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Chicago perfumer Zorayda Ortiz was so excited by her Dead of the Dead perfumes that she’s concocted a tamale fragrance as a followup:

It’s the scent of freshly steamed corn tamales, rich with red chile and plump with juicy pork.

The Pochodores discussed this at the weekly Eskype conference Tuesday and all agreed that there is only one thing they want to smell like pork, and it’s not their respective sweeties. But maybe there are worse ideas for perfumes! Here are the pocho ocho other scents:

Mas…Pocho Ocho worst new ‘Latino’ perfume scents after Eau de Tamales

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