Victoria Jackson: What we need is a ‘White History Month’

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I wrote a uke song called “White Men Are Good” and sang it at a comedy club about 4 years ago. I could feel the audience tense up. Why? Why is there a Black History Month but not a White History Month? Now, that the white race is becoming a minority in America, perhaps we need to make…say, January, White History Month.

The New York Times says, “White births are no longer a majority in the United States.”

I’m just really tired of the white male, and especially the white conservative, Christian male being attacked in cartoons, movies, TV shows, politics, Affirmative Action, etc. It’s like in order to fix the “discrimination” problem, culture flipped the racism from “against blacks” to “against whites”. Why do we have to be “against” anyone? Aren’t we all equal?

Mas…Victoria Jackson: What we need is a ‘White History Month’

Al Madrigal, Jon Stewart: Big trouble in GOP His Panic Room (video)

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Will a Republican shift on immigration help them with Hispanic voters? The Daily Show’s Senior Latino Correspondent Al Madrigal is in Jon Stewart’s His Panic Room as they explore the GOP’s Nuevo Deal. Jessica Williams sneaks in to assist. DISCLOSURE: Madrigal is also POCHO’s Migrant Editor.

From the ‘new’ GOP: Pocho Ocho things we shouldn’t say to Latinos

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GOP leaders are undergoing sensitivity training as they re-evaluate immigration reform. Too often, insiders say, Republicans’ choice of words has hidden their true love for Latinos.

“Tone and rhetoric will be key,” is the message from Jennifer Korn, executive director of the Hispanic Leadership Network.  Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FLA), who chairs the GOP’s Vendido Caucus, champions “a kinder, gentler racism.”

Top Republicans will receive a list of phrases that should never, ever be used when discussing immigration reform. Here are the pocho ocho things NEVER to say:

8. Git’ back in your beaner-mobile!
7. Speak inglish you ‘ignant brownie.
6. We ain’t need no anchor babies.

Mas…From the ‘new’ GOP: Pocho Ocho things we shouldn’t say to Latinos

Heya morons! Click HERE for Obama immigration speech transcript

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We know some of you are morons or racists or both. Different strokes, meng, different strokes. It’s cool. Here’s a transcript of the speech on immigration that Bronco Bama just delivered in Las Vegas, translated into easy-to-understand Moron. Just for you!

(APPLAUSE)

Dank you. It is good t’ be back in Las Begas.

And it is good t’ be among so many good friends. Let – let me start off by dankigg ebehybody at Del Sol High School f’ hostigg us.

(APPLAUSE)

Go Dragons. Let me especial dank your outstandigg principal, Lisa Primos (ph).

(APPLAUSE)

Dehe are all kinds of notaggle guests hehe, uh uh uh, but I dgust want t’ minion a few. Firss of all, our outstandigg secret of de Departmin of Homeland Security, Dganet Napolitano, is hehe.

Mas…Heya morons! Click HERE for Obama immigration speech transcript

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First Native American gun victim pushes for gun control

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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) It took a lot of burning sage, cedar, sweetgrass and tobacco, but Tymangoua, the first Native American murdered by a gun in what is now the United States, delivered a message from the spirit world to Washington:

Getting shot and killed sucks!

Indigenous Peoples Against Gun Violence (IPAG) introduced Tymangoua to a press conference here Monday.

IPAG president Lauren Ko’n-Za explained:

Gun violence is not a recent phenomenon. It has existed for hundreds of years and indigenous people like Taymangoua were the first victims. Tymangoua was murdered on Sept. 14, 1513, by Spanish sailors looking to enslave him on the shores of Biscayne Bay in what is now Miami.

Mas…First Native American gun victim pushes for gun control

New study: Racists are less likely to understand satire

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(PNS reporting from DIXIE) In a groundbreaking study just released by Atlanta’s Center for Brain Development Place, scientists have found that the more racist an individual is the less likely he or she is to comprehend satire.

In the controversial study, published in Totally Not Made Up Magazine last week, participants were asked to read an article titled “Monkey escapes from zoo, spreads poop and socialism” and then asked to comment.

Scientists found that those who believed the monkey should be taught to uphold democracy and abstain from sex before marriage but without the use of taxpayer money were 10 times more likely to be racists.

Mas…New study: Racists are less likely to understand satire

Arpaio busts dangerous 10-year-old (with Steven Seagal’s help)

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(PNS reporting from ARIZONA) The 10-year-old at Frank Elementary School in Guadalupe who got arrested Tuesday learned a valuable lesson about Sheriff Joe Arpaio and celebrity deputy Steven Seagal:

Don’t fuck with them.

According to the sheriff’s office, the boy had planned to beat one of his classmates at the Maricopa County school with a Wiffle Ball® bat but ended up on the wrong end of Steven Seagal’s sealskin boots instead.

Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office detectives were called to the elementary school by officials who were learned of the plot and found the student in possession of a tattered Wiffle Ball® bat.

Mas…Arpaio busts dangerous 10-year-old (with Steven Seagal’s help)

Minority gun owners start NGA group to challenge NRA supremacy

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(PNS reporting from COMPTON) Minority gun owners tired of the “racist white agenda” of the National Rifle Association have launched the National Gun Association (NGA) to lobby for the rights of Latino and African-American gun owners.

NGA, straight out of the Los Angeles suburb of Compton, believes the NRA’s defense of mass shootings, which are mostly perpetrated by white male Christians, harms the real agenda of supporting gun ownership for personal and business self defense.

NGA president Cole Fotyfife, just back from President Bronco Bama’s inauguration (photo), said the campaign will focus on the message “Guns don’t kill people, crazy white people kill people.”

Mas…Minority gun owners start NGA group to challenge NRA supremacy

HBO to launch Latina version of ‘Girls’ called ‘Chicas’

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(PNS reporting from NEW YORK CITY) HBO’s mega hit Girls is getting a spin-off — a Latina version called Chicas.

“We woke up and smelled the cafecito,” producer Elizabeth Ferris told a press conference here this morning, “and the pan dulce.”

“The success of Girls is indisputable and we want to be able to bring that success to the Latino community,”  Ferris said. “I don’t know if any Latinos actually watch Girls, but everyone is into the ‘Latino thing’ these days, so why not Chicas?”

Mas…HBO to launch Latina version of ‘Girls’ called ‘Chicas’

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