You’re probably wondering why we’re all gathered here today in one place. Believe me when I say that it’s because we love you, and we care about you and your future.
Brother, that’s why we’re staging this coffee intervention. This shit is getting out of hand.
I’ll admit, as we look back, the signs were clear. So in hopes of preventing other families from going through this nightmare, I’ve put together this list of the Pocho Ocho Top Signs That You or Someone You Know Drinks Too Much Coffee.
It’s an old Irish proverb, according to video makers Sergio Gonzalez and Adam McCoy:
A man takes a drink,
Then a drink takes a drink,
Then the drink takes the man.
Read these instructions from the creators before attempting to view this video:
Here’s how to identify Lalo (or any other nationally-syndicated Latino cartoonists) if you happen to seem him [Note: two kinds of coffee]:
Making a breakfast burrito is hard work, especially in the morning when it’s time to eat breakfast. There’s the delicate cracking of the eggs thang, the slicing of the cheese procedure, the tricky cooking and not burning, and finally the delicate assembly work. All in the morning! Maybe even before the cafecito kicks in! Aye dios mio! What’s a hungry pocho to do?
How much does America love tacos, you ask? Taco imagery is everywhere — jewelry (necklace, above), toys, drinks, desserts, babies, kitties, doggies, purses, rear-view mirrors. And how could we make a listicle without the pink taco? [The pink taco final photograph may be NSFW depending on your work. We don’t think it is, but you never know, tu sabes?]
In Chile, white-collar businessmen like to start their days with Cafés con Piernas — coffee with legs — at a local mashup of Hooters and Starbucks.
(PNS reporting from CHICAGO) Black coffee, menudo, In-N-Out, mota, maybe even a little hair of the dog — all common hangover remedies, right? But according to a study from Mexican culinary genius Rick Bayless, a new discovery might have them all beat: 7-Up.
“People have helplessly suffered hangovers forever and without any kind of cure. Well, I have discovered the single greatest hangover cure of all-time and can back it up with scientific evidence. No one has ever thought of this before…it’s 7-Up, my friends. You’re welcome!” Bayless told PNS.
Oh, how I hate to get up in the morning!
(PNS reporting from ATLANTA) After narrowly beating “Flamin’ Hot Cheetos,” “Kool Super Longs” and “40-Ounce Malt Liquor” to become the syrup flavor that “most accurately captures the taste of the African-American experience,” the winner, Chicken ‘N Waffles syrup, has been put into production by syrup giant Torani.
The family-owned company, known for sweet coffee additives like vanilla and chocolate syrups, is convinced white Americans will crave “the special tang this sweet ‘n’ sassy syrup adds” to the four-dollar lattes they consume several times a day.
Torani’s move is “baffling” and “an outrage,” Clarence K. Dabra, president of the Atlanta-based American Black Restauranteurs Association (ABRA) told PNS.
At 7:35 AM all Marta wanted was her regular coffee and pastry at the local cafe. But this morning was different.
If that means you, perhaps we can help with the Pocho Ocho cures for your hangover (la cruda.)
8. Menudo. In my social circles, menudo is the go–to method for scaring away that nasty cruda. The power of the Aztec gods? Meat? Corn? Who knows why, but word has it that it works.
7. More alcohol! Hair of the dog, as it were. This method is perhaps one of the oldest cures for cruda. Does it work?
7. Scare white folks with the 2012 Doomsday predictions
6. Get Cheech to collect one of my Chicano paintings
5. Train my revolutionary pets Karl Barx and Chairman Meow to attack all Republicanos in mi barrio