This is true story of my fight to earn the right to be Smiley #1

My mother, Carmen, often sent me to La Paloma Market, while my brother Salomon watched I Love Lucy re-runs. We lived in East Los Angeles’ Ramona Gardens housing project, where I had to be selective about the routes I took.

Since I feared the barking dogs along the alley, I always took a shortcut through the hill that was controlled by a local gang, the Hill Boys. The homeboys never bothered me on my daily trip for groceries, especially since we attended Murchison Elementary School at the same time.

Mas…This is true story of my fight to earn the right to be Smiley #1

Pocho Ocho top questions asked before joining a Mexican cartel

narcobandKids these days know they have options and they want to make smart choices — and not only kids in the United Estates.

These are the Pocho Ocho top questions wannabe gangsters ask before joining a Mexican cartel:

8. Will beheading be on the final exam?

7. Soy vegetariano — is heart-eating mandatory?

6. Do I need to supply my own botas picudas?

Mas…Pocho Ocho top questions asked before joining a Mexican cartel

Maybe I grew up in a Latino and African-American neighborhood

navarrobannerMaybe I grew up in a mostly Latino and African American neighborhood because that was where my parents could pay rent.

Maybe they could only pay rent there because my parents immigrated into this country with only a bag of clothes. Maybe they worked 16 hrs a day 7 days a week in ranches cutting cabbage. Maybe they worked 2 or 3 jobs, and yet it was barely enough to get by.

Mas…Maybe I grew up in a Latino and African-American neighborhood

Vatos Locos International: Meet Thailand’s ‘cholos’ (NSFW videos)


What do a Buddhist meditation teacher and a Thai policeman have in common? They both think they are “Mexican gangsters” because tats, Pendletons, leaning like a cholo and saying “Fuck the popo!” [NSFW lyrics and explicit subtitles in English.]

Ditto two Armenian gang-bangers who were deported from Southern California back to the Old World; these vatos locos are fighting for Bashar al-Assad in Syria:

Mas…Vatos Locos International: Meet Thailand’s ‘cholos’ (NSFW videos)

Breaking: Congress to probe ‘illegal immigrant sneaker code’

(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) Rep. Randolph Snopes (R-AL) plans committee hearings next week to investigate reports that “illegal immigrants” from Mexico are encoding secret messages in sneakers hanging over telephone wires — messages about how to avoid police, sell drugs and promote terrorism, PNS has learned.

Snopes, chairman of the Unamerican Activities Committee, maintains that evidence of  “sneaker-encoded propaganda” has been covered up by “high echelons of the Obama Administration,” according to leaked committee documents circulating on Capitol Hill.

Mas…Breaking: Congress to probe ‘illegal immigrant sneaker code’

If every picture tells a story–does this one? Caption contest! *UPDATED

*We have a winner! Scroll down for all the entries and the best caption.

Caption this image to win something cool from us and perhaps the esteem of pochos everywhere!

Contest begins now and ends at midnight PDT tonight. POCHO decisions final. Bribes accepted but no guarantees, OK? Deal? Deal. Write your caption below to enter. Captions posted on Facebook don’t count, even with bribes. You can’t win a prize if you don’t enter a real email address.

Image borrowed from The Chita’s Clitoris, a Tumblr well worth your adult eyeballs; the pre-cholafied painting is here.

Complete ‘Hey Vato!’ NSFW existential angst of Chuy y Smiley (videos)


When we heard one of our favorite Hey Vato! episodes (The Tattoo) would be screening at the San Francisco Frozen Film Festival we knew it was time for a special Sabado Ponchonte Saturday Night Video Festival featuring EVERY episode of our favorite web series, in order, so here they are. Hey Vatos! Orale!

Mas…Complete ‘Hey Vato!’ NSFW existential angst of Chuy y Smiley (videos)

Dear Abuelita: Cholo scars, snoring horrors, mota bars

Yo, Abeuelita, sup?
In my wayward youth I was a gangbanger and have the bullet wounds, knife scars and tats to prove it. But those days are over and I’m now a legally-employed husband and dad with two kids.

The shorties are getting big enough to where they will soon begin to ask me questions about these things and I don’t know what exactly to say. What did you tell your kids about your tattoos and bullet wounds (if you have any?)
Signed: X Loco 

Dear X Loco,
Thank your lucky estrella tattoos I didn’t know you as a gangbanger chavalon otherwise you’d have a lot more wounds to explain. Don’t worry, I’m not going to smack you across the coco with an Abuelita Reality Chancla for anything you’ve done in the past. It appears you’ve had your share of hard knocks as it is.

Kids aren’t stupid, eventually they will dig up some old MySpace page with photos of you and your homies showing off your bullet wounds and tattoos.

Mas…Dear Abuelita: Cholo scars, snoring horrors, mota bars