My mother, Carmen, often sent me to La Paloma Market, while my brother Salomon watched I Love Lucy re-runs. We lived in East Los Angeles’ Ramona Gardens housing project, where I had to be selective about the routes I took.
Since I feared the barking dogs along the alley, I always took a shortcut through the hill that was controlled by a local gang, the Hill Boys. The homeboys never bothered me on my daily trip for groceries, especially since we attended Murchison Elementary School at the same time.
The Hey Vato! show’s Chuy and Smiley wonder if it’s possible to put away those childish things, like that Corinthian dude said, and enjoy an afternoon of beisbol with Los Doyers.
Good-hearted couple Lucy and Steve brought home a “rescue cholo” named Creeper, but he didn’t work out the way they planned. That’s why they called Ignacio de la Cruz, The Cholo Whisperer. [Bay Area POCHO amigo Frankie Quiñones stars as the cholo.]
PREVIOUSLY ON THE CHOLO WHISPERER:
Race relations in Los Angeles, 1991 are far from ideal. When Mexican-American Eladio goes to avenge the death of his older brother at the hands of a Korean-American merchant, he soon discovers that he’s not the only one with a reason to kill today. [NSFW adult language, F-bombs; graphic violence.]
In the war to control the lucrative market for street food in South Central Los Angeles, one crew fought their way Straight Outta Tacos. Video by DESMADRE. [NSFW in several languages.]
What’s the difference between Medellin cartel jefe El Patron Pablo Escobar and Sinaloa cartel leader El Chapo Guzman? MundoFox has the answers.
“Do you know why you were arrested?” the Mexican cops asked just-busted Knights Templar narco gangster jefe La Tuta. “I was the leader of a bunch of pendejos,” he replied.
These are the Pocho Ocho top questions wannabe gangsters ask before joining a Mexican cartel:
8. Will beheading be on the final exam?
7. Soy vegetariano — is heart-eating mandatory?
6. Do I need to supply my own botas picudas?
That awkward moment when you review footage of a January 6 encounter between gangsters and Federales in Michoacan and you notice a spherical, metallic OVNI/UFO hovering overhead.
Public affairs documentary producer Charles Cahill presents Street Gangs: Challenge to Law Enforcement a 1970s training movie digitized from a 16mm film purchased on eBay, according to YouTube uploader GuilfordGhost.
Who are the OG’s in the video? Recognize anyone? Has anything changed?
Maybe they could only pay rent there because my parents immigrated into this country with only a bag of clothes. Maybe they worked 16 hrs a day 7 days a week in ranches cutting cabbage. Maybe they worked 2 or 3 jobs, and yet it was barely enough to get by.
Sometimes you feel like a zombie, sometimes you need to just pop a cap on his pinche butt. Especially when they sing and dance! [SFW but gangs, guns, gore.]
PREVIOUSLY ON ZOMBIES:
Cholos ruin everything, according to stand up comic Cain Lopez. [NSFW language.]
What do a Buddhist meditation teacher and a Thai policeman have in common? They both think they are “Mexican gangsters” because tats, Pendletons, leaning like a cholo and saying “Fuck the popo!” [NSFW lyrics and explicit subtitles in English.]
Ditto two Armenian gang-bangers who were deported from Southern California back to the Old World; these vatos locos are fighting for Bashar al-Assad in Syria:
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) Rep. Randolph Snopes (R-AL) plans committee hearings next week to investigate reports that “illegal immigrants” from Mexico are encoding secret messages in sneakers hanging over telephone wires — messages about how to avoid police, sell drugs and promote terrorism, PNS has learned.
Snopes, chairman of the Unamerican Activities Committee, maintains that evidence of “sneaker-encoded propaganda” has been covered up by “high echelons of the Obama Administration,” according to leaked committee documents circulating on Capitol Hill.
This is the video you’ve been looking for. BAKTUN 12 writes:
It is a period of barrio civil war. Darth Hater, owner of El Chingon Body Shop, and his associates — Jar Jar Blinks, Baboso Feo, and Chavala Punk — have every loco, loca, and loquito living in fear of the mal ojo and the mal lube job.
When you roll with the East Side Locos, you have to learn proper tagging technique…or else.
Caption this image to win something cool from us and perhaps the esteem of pochos everywhere!
Contest begins now and ends at midnight PDT tonight. POCHO decisions final. Bribes accepted but no guarantees, OK? Deal? Deal. Write your caption below to enter. Captions posted on Facebook don’t count, even with bribes. You can’t win a prize if you don’t enter a real email address.
- Yakuza lowriders? Check.
- Spanish Crip-walking cholo wannabes? Check.
- Good ole boy Southern Comfort luchador-looking surf rockers? Check.
Face it, brown is the new black. Today’s example? Japanese cholas!
When we heard one of our favorite Hey Vato! episodes (The Tattoo) would be screening at the San Francisco Frozen Film Festival we knew it was time for a special Sabado Ponchonte Saturday Night Video Festival featuring EVERY episode of our favorite web series, in order, so here they are. Hey Vatos! Orale!
Yo, Abeuelita, sup?
In my wayward youth I was a gangbanger and have the bullet wounds, knife scars and tats to prove it. But those days are over and I’m now a legally-employed husband and dad with two kids.
The shorties are getting big enough to where they will soon begin to ask me questions about these things and I don’t know what exactly to say. What did you tell your kids about your tattoos and bullet wounds (if you have any?)
Signed: X Loco
Dear X Loco,
Thank your lucky estrella tattoos I didn’t know you as a gangbanger chavalon otherwise you’d have a lot more wounds to explain. Don’t worry, I’m not going to smack you across the coco with an Abuelita Reality Chancla for anything you’ve done in the past. It appears you’ve had your share of hard knocks as it is.
Kids aren’t stupid, eventually they will dig up some old MySpace page with photos of you and your homies showing off your bullet wounds and tattoos.
The two posses walk the walk, stare the stare and meet up in neutral territory. What comes next?