(PNS reporting from SAN PEDRO, COSTA RICA) Study abroad student Caleb Kostopoulos was kicked out of his temporary home in the Costa Rican capital of San José last night when his host family discovered he’d flushed toilet paper down the commode instead of putting it in the bathroom trashcan as instructed, the 20-year old Temple U sophomore wrote on his Facebook page.
Who cares if switching to Geico can save you 15 percent or more on car insurance?
If I were to have a car — or live in Texas — (both very unlikely scenarios) I’d totally call Jim Adler, aka El Martillo Tejano, who promises to protect my people (i.e. The Hispanics) from sleazy insurance companies and give us the most compensation possible in case of a car accident.
Watch Adler inform us about his services in the best Gringo-Spanish I’ve heard in a while.
Take it away Jim!
Reprinted with permission from MiBlogEsTuBlog by Laura Martinez.
[P.S.: Martillo = hammer.]
(PNS reporting from the EEUU) Tex-Mex restaurants across the country are banding together this week to ensure the flawed traditions of margaritas, sombreros, maracas, bastardized Mexican food and overall cultural cluelessness are again propagated upon masses of uninformed Americans this Cinco De Mayo.
(PNS reporting from HEREDIA, COSTA RICA) A business English language class at Intel, Inc. unanimously agreed in a recent questionnaire that teacher Bryan McNutt’s two strongest abilities are being a painfully oblivious gringo and poor wardrobe choices.
The group of six, who requested their names be withheld, filled out the survey about their teacher after complaints were filed about the quality of classes he was providing. A big part of the problem, one student explained, was McNutt’s sartorial choices.
“Every five seconds he’s grabbing his Ropa Americana and pants so they don’t fall down,” one student said. “Is it school policy for every teacher to look like a poorly-dressed Mormon missionary?”
“Osea,” being pocho.
As the racial landscape of our country darkens, for the better, and Latinos become the majority, proving your pocho-ness will become a valuable skill for all gringos, whether Trump likes it or not.
Follow these three simple steps next time you need to pass as pocho.
Studies have shown the more pocho you are, the easier it is to get into law school, get that promotion or land that Hollywood role of a lifetime.
Wow. There is this seasoning, Cappy, and you too, Kirsten and Brooke – there is this TAJIN seasoning for your fruit AND veggies! Spicy! Salty! Lime! Totes, like, amazeballs! It adds a ZING! to everything! I wonder where they get these ideas?
PREVIOUSLY ON TAJIN:
Blue bean, brown bean, we’re all beans inside, on BOTH SIDES of the Border. [This video by Belgian studio Plan 78 Animation is part of the 12 Minutes About Peace project.]
Mexicans and Anglo Americans are exactly alike. You are just as racist Mejicanoh, oh wait, I mean, Chicano… Meixcan American… I forget, you don’t consider yourselves Mexican… or do you. You MeCHA Aztlanersss get me all confused. Or wait, you don’t consider yourselves Latino but rather.. MESSICAN!
ANYWAYS… so, as I was saying, you share the same RACIST views, in fact, you’re no different than right wing Caucasian Americans, whom at least are upfront about their racism and xenophobia, you’re more aligned with Liberal Democrats whom subversively are racist.
We can’t track the original of this photo to give its creator props, so we’ll just heartily thank all Internet-enabled photographers, wherever they are. And whatever they want to be called, tambien. After all, what’s in a name?
PREVIOUSLY ON WHITE PEOPLE:
(PNS reporting from SAN MARCOS, TX) Seventeen-year-old San Marcos High School senior Byron Chavez called someone’s mother a “wetback” in a comment on a Facebook photo yesterday — Mothers Day.
Chavez, the grandson of Mexican immigrants, used the W-word in response to a widely-circulated picture of a young woman at an immigration reform rally holding a sign reading “Fuck Weed. Legalize My Mom.”
Chavez posted “Fuck your wetback mom! Legalize Weed!” 30 minutes after his cousin Lauren Saucedo posted the image on her timeline .
“I was taken aback by his comment,” Saucedo emailed PNS. “Our grandparents were immigrants who came from Mexico looking for a better future.”
POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz‘s recent article about the word gringo ignited a shitstorm of debate. White people came out of the woodwork to declare how they’ve been traumatized all these years because of it.
This got me thinking about racial slurs and how we use them in these oh-so-modern times. Rand Paul used the term chili-choking pepper bellies the other day when he was talking about immigration reform. What’s the gringo equivalent of a chili-choking pepper belly? Twinky-gagging sugar gut? Sounds stupid, right?
“You cornbread-gobbling butter stomach!”
Mexican rockers Molotov have a NSFW message for Frijoleros/Beaners and/or Pinche Gringos:
♫Don’t call me gringo, you fuckin’ beaner♪
♫ Stay on your side of that goddamn river♪
♪ Don’t call me gringo, you beaner♫
♫ No me digas beaner, Mr. Puñetero♪
(PNS reporting from TIJUANA) Soaring prices at the pump are sending Americans to El Otro Lado for a break on pricey petrol purchases, creating a furor over a new class of immigrants called “gasbacks.”
Mexican public opinion is all over map regarding the gas-guzzling gringos, who are pumping millions of dollares into Mexico by pumping millions of gallons of gas out of it.
White guy Billy Kimball gives Enrique Santos the “white” perspective on iLatino issues like dancing and citizenship, and clarifies a few details about early white immigrants, such as their dealings with documentation. But we have to ask: “Does Billy Kimball have a zucchini in his trousers or is he just happy to see Enrique?”
Y you know what happened when he typed “Mexican Chef”? He said a white guy from Oklahoma popped up first, like he was the most important chef in Mexico or something. So, he tole me I can make better tamales than this gringo with a white mustache and I tole him, yeah, I can.
My pobre son is a little pocho, so him and other pochitos out there have to learn how to make the real food from our homeland. None of that nouveau Latin cuisine shit. My comadre tole me I’m too Mexican for the Food Network. I tole her I don’t want to be on camera anygway cuz I hate my arms.
My blogue is not gonna be call “Spicy It Up” or “Super Delicioso” or nothing like that. There is no going to be no salsa music (whish is Cuban by the gway) playing in the background. Is just me, Tia Lencha, in my cocina with my apron and my son typing on his computer.
Not all people from Arizona are stupid racist dumbasses, but the two young women starring in the now-infamous year-old Racist Arizona White Ladies video sure are. It was reposted recently on YouTube and viewed over 1.2 million times. Throughout this poorly-lit hate flick two young female Arizonans cheer on the anti-immigrant law SB1070, which has since been partially gutted by courts, and engage in racist name-calling and vile stereotyping, and issue horrid violent threats to their brown-skinned neighbors.