hate

Texas legislators want to outlaw ‘looking too Mexican in public’

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(PNS reporting from AUSTIN) The Texas Senate is currently considering a bill that would outlaw “looking too Mexican in public.”

Senate Bill 32 was introduced by senators from East and North Texas who say the law will celebrate American and Texas culture.

“Texas has a proud and long history of being American, or Texan, and that should be celebrated,” said Fort Worth area Republican Sen. Alice Boswell.

“It’s not like Texas was never Mexico, so why should Mexicans here be allowed to celebrate that culture?”

Mas…Texas legislators want to outlaw ‘looking too Mexican in public’

Texas reacts to mariachi kid anthem racism: ‘We can do better!’

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(PNS reporting from SAN ANTONIO) Some Texans are ashamed of last night’s racist online reaction to 10-year-old mariachi singer Sebastien de la Cruz’s performance of The Star Spangled Banner at the NBA finals here.

“We can do better!” shouted one local activist at a hastily-called demonstration outside AT&T Center today.

“How can we expect more people to join our racist krusade if we persist in really sloppy spelling, inconsistent capitalization, confused subject-verb agreement and endless repetition of stale cliches?” said Stanley Merdkopf, president of the local chapter of Organized Racist Crackers for America (ORCA.)

Mas…Texas reacts to mariachi kid anthem racism: ‘We can do better!’

Talk radio guy blows the lid off ‘Mexican swimming lessons’ (video)

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If you’ve been wondering why the internationally-lauded public school system in Mexico makes sure all the kids get swimming lessons, talk show guy AND education expert Rick Rantz of 1270AM WQTT in Union County, OH, has the answer. Advertising Sales Manager Mike Schnell is at 614.935.1038 if you have more questions.The radio station’s Programming Department is at 614.425.9633, or you can email grivers@icsohio.com.

Breaking: Miami woman reveals plans to quit Facebook

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(PNS reporting from MIAMI) South Beach resident Christina Patricia Santiago is planning to leave Facebook on Friday, according to a Status Update she published Sunday night.

Responding to a question from Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, who asked Santiago “What’s on your mind?” when she logged into her account, the 32-year-old media buyer for a boutique advertising firm told 442 Facebook “friends” she does “not have time for this bullshit.”

“Nikki: I don’t care who Selena Gomez is seeing,” she wrote.

Mas…Breaking: Miami woman reveals plans to quit Facebook

Breaking: Congress to probe ‘illegal immigrant sneaker code’

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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) Rep. Randolph Snopes (R-AL) plans committee hearings next week to investigate reports that “illegal immigrants” from Mexico are encoding secret messages in sneakers hanging over telephone wires — messages about how to avoid police, sell drugs and promote terrorism, PNS has learned.

Snopes, chairman of the Unamerican Activities Committee, maintains that evidence of  “sneaker-encoded propaganda” has been covered up by “high echelons of the Obama Administration,” according to leaked committee documents circulating on Capitol Hill.

Mas…Breaking: Congress to probe ‘illegal immigrant sneaker code’

Obama says ‘F★ck it’ in tricky bid for GOP immigration reform votes

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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) President Barack Obama gave up his efforts to pass comprehensive immigration reform this week, informing Republican leaders that he didn’t care about reform anymore.

“Fuck it!” Obama reportedly told Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) in a conference call Tuesday.

“I don’t care about reform anymore, are you happy? Don’t pass it, see if I fuckin’ care!”

Washington insiders say that the president’s sudden change of heart on immigration has less to do with his actual desire to see reform pass and more to do with tactical consderations. Every time the president wants to pass legislation, Republicans balk — so if he doesn’t want to pass immigration reform, the thinking goes, conservatives will play along.

Mas…Obama says ‘F★ck it’ in tricky bid for GOP immigration reform votes

Pocho Ocho Republican things you didn’t know were in The Bible

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It’s in the Jewy Old Testament, written from right to left in Leviticus, Chapter 19, Verses 33-34, where God tells Moses (photo, left):

If a stranger sojourn with thee in your land, ye shall not do him wrong. The stranger that sojourneth with you shall be unto you as the home-born among you, and thou shalt love him as thyself; for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt.

God-fearing Christian Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-AL) sure as Hell doesn’t think that means making nice to undocumented immigrants and he was quite happy to tell evangelical so-called Christian pro-reform advocates that he knows The Bible better than they do.

“I think this idea that somehow love, statements in Leviticus 19, is not the kind of thing that would indicate that we shouldn’t have laws,” Sessions mansplained. “Some people have been citing the Scripture, I think, pretty loosely,” he added.

Mas…Pocho Ocho Republican things you didn’t know were in The Bible

A Latina’s Guide: How to talk to a racist

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As unfortunate a reality as it may be, one way or another in our country, you’re going to have to deal with someone who is racist, or at least holds a little bit of prejudice.

What’s even more unfortunate is that you’re most likely to come across someone who doesn’t necessarily know that they are prejudiced, and thus, pointing out this behavior or dealing with it may be a bit more difficult for you.

Now, say that you are a Latina and so have to deal with society’s sexist — as well as racist — attitudes and all of a sudden you find yourself in a bit of a bind. How does one fight The Man, preconceived notions of femininity (from both American and Latino cultures), civility standards, sexism and racism all at once?

I have a few tips that I thought might be useful, so here we go:

1. Don’t blow up

Mas…A Latina’s Guide: How to talk to a racist

GOP to spend $10 million further alienating minorities

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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) Reeling from back-to-back presidential losses and struggling to cope with the country’s changing racial and ethnic makeup, the Republican National Committee plans to spend $10 million this year to send hundreds of party workers in white sheets into Hispanic communities to promote its brand.

With Operation Wetback 2016, the committee hopes putting a fresh face on the same old racism will help them net more Hispanic voters.

“Hispanics are so lazy and slow-witted that they won’t be able to do the deep investigation required to see that our effort is a complete and utter sham,” GOP committee head Reince Priebus declared on Meet the Press. “We won’t change any of our hateful and xenophobic policies, but we will definitely alter our marketing pitches to this unambitious, burrito-brained demographic.”

Mas…GOP to spend $10 million further alienating minorities

From the ‘new’ GOP: Pocho Ocho things we shouldn’t say to Latinos

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GOP leaders are undergoing sensitivity training as they re-evaluate immigration reform. Too often, insiders say, Republicans’ choice of words has hidden their true love for Latinos.

“Tone and rhetoric will be key,” is the message from Jennifer Korn, executive director of the Hispanic Leadership Network.  Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FLA), who chairs the GOP’s Vendido Caucus, champions “a kinder, gentler racism.”

Top Republicans will receive a list of phrases that should never, ever be used when discussing immigration reform. Here are the pocho ocho things NEVER to say:

8. Git’ back in your beaner-mobile!
7. Speak inglish you ‘ignant brownie.
6. We ain’t need no anchor babies.

Mas…From the ‘new’ GOP: Pocho Ocho things we shouldn’t say to Latinos

Ñewsweek: LOST GOV Jan Brewja, boobs, San Diego billboard

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When Jan Brewja, governor of the Hate State of Arizona (photo,right), officially announced her absence from the jurisdiction, concerned Americans began a desperate search for LOST GOV, posting flyers on telephone polls and all over the Internets.

Her mysterious disappearance almost overshadowed the shocking revelation of Iowa’s Brian Peterson, who finally had to come to grips with the fact that he watches telenovelas for the boobs, not to learn Spanish like he originally told himself.

And in San Diego, a multimillionaire commissioned a billboard to get himself a new girlfriend for Christmas — a “Christmas Latina.” Our Especial Correspondents uncovered some earlier versions of the billboard, and an intrepid photographer snapped the final version of the message.

Here are the links to the top stories that broke the ñews:

Mas…Ñewsweek: LOST GOV Jan Brewja, boobs, San Diego billboard

I really, really hate Christmas and here’s why

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I’m so sick of Christmas and December isn’t even a week old!

Every year it’s the same crap over and over again. I mean, I wasn’t even finished pretending not to eat Halloween candy before people started playing that Christmas music — don’t even get me started on the music! It’s like, let’s take a has-been artist and have them pump out some horrible tripe and force everyone to remember why they became irrelevant in the first place, all the while pretending like we’re enjoying the tunes.

You know, all those songs were written during a time when my grandparents weren’t even allowed to go into certain restaurants. “No Mexicans, No Dogs” is what the door signs used to say. “White Christmas” indeed!

Mas…I really, really hate Christmas and here’s why

Marry a citizen, become a citizen at PendejoMatch.com (video)

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Sen. John Kyl, a Republican (surprise surprise!) from the Hate State of Arizona, is pleased to announce his online dating site for the young, undocumented and desperate.

Marry a citizen, become a citizen!

It’s just that easy with the “quick path to citizenship” from PendejoMatch.com.

Try Pendejo Match for free for 30 days or your money back! Just looking for love? Our sister site MojadoMingle.com is the place for you. Or maybe GueyDate.net.

Pleased as ponche, Tres Flores triplets give company to workers

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(PNS reporting from ALTADENA) Pleased with the reelection of the President, thrilled to provide Obamacare for their employees and acknowledging their loyal workers built a small family firm into a billion-dollar corporation, the three siblings who own the Tres Flores Corporation are giving their company to their staff.

Abelardo, Bernardo and Chichi Flor — 83-year-old triplets who gave Tres Flores their name — started bottling home-made hair oil in a garage in this L.A. suburb over 50 years ago. Tres Flores is now a worldwide operation that employes 600 people and has facilities in Southern California, Louisiana and New Jersey.

“We’re retiring and we don’t have any heirs,” oldest triplet Abelardo (born 20 minutes before brother Bernardo) told a press conference this morning. “We’ve been approached to sell the firm, but we couldn’t think of anyone better to run it than the folks who have been with us all these years.”

“Shaddap, Lardo,” Bernardo responded. “I would have an heir if you hadn’t scared away Selena Valderrama with that Migra Maus costume on Halloween in 1974!”

Mas…Pleased as ponche, Tres Flores triplets give company to workers

Cilantro haters, come out of the closet! You were born this way

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Cilantro is a key ingredient in Mexican cooking. The herb flavors Thai and Indian and Middle Eastern food too. But some people just can’t stand it and insist it smells/tastes like soap and looks “green as old vomit.”

You people — it’s OK. You can come out of the comida closet now. You were born this way.

From Nature.com:

A genetic survey of nearly 30,000 people posted to the preprint server arXiv.org this week has identified two genetic variants linked to perception of coriander, the most common of which is in a gene involved in sensing smells. Two unpublished studies also link several other variants in genes involved in taste and smell to the preference.

Mas…Cilantro haters, come out of the closet! You were born this way

Ñewsweek: Driving while fluffy, yo quiero taxes, Pro Tips for Latinos

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The Hate State of Arizona retained its leading position as the most anti-Latino state in the country as the witchy bitchy governor, Jan Brewer, decided that DREAMERS who apply for Deferred Action should be denied state service like drivers’ licenses.

Also in Arizona, husky humorist Gabriel Iglesias’ tour bus got pulled over for a papers check.  In Texas, a humble farmworker released his income tax returns and asked GOP nominee wannabe Mitt Romney to do the same and POCHO offered Pro Tips for Latinos working in The Office.

These were the stories that broke the ñews this week:

Mas…Ñewsweek: Driving while fluffy, yo quiero taxes, Pro Tips for Latinos

AZ Gov. Jan Brewja OKs curbs on undocumented youth, apples, twigs

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Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer (photo, right) has signed an executive order directing state agencies to deny driver’s licenses and other public benefits to young undocumented immigrants who obtain work authorizations under the new Obama administration Deferred Action program.

She also signed executive orders dealing with undocumented children and other matters:

Joe the Plumber: Shoot the damn Canucks and ask questions later!

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(PNS reporting from the HATE STATE OF ARIZONA) Samuel Wurzelbacher – known to most Americans as simply “Joe the Plumber” or “dumbass” – made an recent appearance at a fundraiser for Republican Arizona State Senator candidate Lori Klein and shocked the audience by telling them that the way to solve the country’s illegal Canadian immigration problem is to station troops along the northern border and have them “start shooting the damn snowbacks.”

“For years I’ve said, you know, put a damn fence on the border going to Canada and start shooting. I’m running for Congress and that should be a bad thing to say. But you know what, it’s how I feel…I want my borders protected, I’m very, very adamant about that. I’m sick of these snowbacks sneaking in here illegally!” Wurzelbacher said.

Mas…Joe the Plumber: Shoot the damn Canucks and ask questions later!

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