Are you sacred AF about those new (apparently Muslim) neighbors? Do you think they might be terrorists? Ask your doctor if Islamophobin® is right for you!
PREVIOUSLY ON ASK YOUR DOCTOR IF _______ IS RIGHT FOR YOU:
Speaking to the House of Representatives on Tuesday, Rep. Luis V. Gutierrez (D-IL) condemned the ignorant governors who have vowed to turn away refugees fleeing violence and seeking freedom in the U.S. Freedom, Gutierrez noted, is exactly what our country stands for.
PREVIOUSLY ON CONGRESSMAN GUTIERREZ:
Those awkward moments when
- An Oklahoma mayor’s husband thinks dressing up in white sheets and carry burning torches like the Ku Klux Klan would be a fun Halloween idea and
- The president of the University of Louisville, KY dresses as a “Mexican.”
Everyone is sorry now, OK? Can we please move on?
NWAs Straight Outta Compton [NSFW video]:
In a speech to Indian American Democrats, she whooped up an “American Indian war cry.”
She was confused, she told a group of Indian American at a party convention in Anaheim, about an upcoming meeting with an Indian American.
“I am going to his office,” she said, “thinking that I am going to meet with a” — then she put her hand over mouth and made the noise that is the stereotypical imitation of a American Indian war cry. “Right? … because he said Indian American.”
By BERNADETTE RIVERO
Technically, the word I should have used above, in the headline, is “Manipulates.” As in, “Safely Manipulate Your Balls When You Celebrate!”
That’s what the Federal Drug Administration advises this season, anyway. (Screen capture, above.)
But I’m a writer who has spent a lifetime in both advertising and journalism, and I know the value of good clickbait when I have it in my hands.
Er… Line of sight. Sorry, I’m distracted by the FDA advising me to fondle one’s nether regions for Easter.
Whatever it is these poor kid refugees are fleeing — Honduras, El Salvador, Guatemala, El Diablo — Stephen Colbert pities them. But not too much.
What if? [NSFW pinche adult language, guey!]
Run! Black men in hoodies! These Howard University undergrads and grads are not the gangsters you were looking for.
(PNS reporting from AUSTIN) Rick Perry told a crowd of press and supporters here Monday that he will not seek another term as Texas governor when his term expires in 18 months.
Instead, the longest-serving governor in Texas’ history said he was going to do the unthinkable: move to California to turn the state back into a Republican stronghold.
“Now that Democrats have set their sights on Texas, I want to return the favor and head to the Golden State and bring a brand of compassionate conservatism that ruled the state in the good ol’ days,” the former GOP presidential nominee wannabe said.
(PNS reporting from SAN ANTONIO) Some Texans are ashamed of last night’s racist online reaction to 10-year-old mariachi singer Sebastien de la Cruz’s performance of The Star Spangled Banner at the NBA finals here.
“We can do better!” shouted one local activist at a hastily-called demonstration outside AT&T Center today.
“How can we expect more people to join our racist krusade if we persist in really sloppy spelling, inconsistent capitalization, confused subject-verb agreement and endless repetition of stale cliches?” said Stanley Merdkopf, president of the local chapter of Organized Racist Crackers for America (ORCA.)
(PNS reporting from TEXAS) After suspending two Latino employees in an Albuquerque, NM store for daring to speak Spanish, specialty grocer Whole Foods has announced that it will be changing its name to “AssWhole Foods.”
Whole Foods PR executive Kaley Quinoa, at the company’s corporate offices in Austin, released this statement:
We feel we need to reflect the public’s view of our changing brand, and nothing would represent this view better than changing our name to AssWhole Foods.
Quinoa explained her company’s “English Only” policies this way
Late Saturday night, as I searched for some historical images for a new history book I’m illustrating, I saw that Google had finally honored farm labor icon Cesar Chavez with their “Google Doodle.”
My first thought (and tweet) was, “Brace yourselves for anti-Mexican, anti-immigrant, anti-Cesar Chavez racist hate from internet Christians on their Holy Day.” Faster than you could pull up a thousand images of the Mexican-American hero on Google Images, the harsh comments started rolling in.
As I called it, a few hateful internet Christians declared jihad on Google because it’s not a Jesus Christ Doodle or their main religious figure, the Easter Bunny (historical image below).
(PNS reporting from DIXIE) In a groundbreaking study just released by Atlanta’s Center for Brain Development Place, scientists have found that the more racist an individual is the less likely he or she is to comprehend satire.
In the controversial study, published in Totally Not Made Up Magazine last week, participants were asked to read an article titled “Monkey escapes from zoo, spreads poop and socialism” and then asked to comment.
Scientists found that those who believed the monkey should be taught to uphold democracy and abstain from sex before marriage but without the use of taxpayer money were 10 times more likely to be racists.
First things first – Ridley Scott is an asshole.
OK. Now that that’s out of the way, I recently rented the film Prometheus and boy did it suck. I had to check the credits and make sure David Duke wasn’t executive producer.
There are a ton of sites that discuss why this film sucks so I won’t go into those here. There are also a ton of sites that get into why film snobs like me just don’t “get it” and that’s fine – I was actually disappointed to find that Roger Ebert not only liked this film but thought it was “magnificent.” Four stars? Pfft.
This film, while visually stunning at times, is just another notch in the belt for the subtle and not-so-subtle racism that spews out of the Hollywood machine. I Googled “Prometheus racist” and found one thread that had people mocking the very notion:
Racist?! Give me a break!