When Hell is full, pinche dead turkeys will stalk the living. THANKSGIVING opens today at a theater near you. (Violent, gory and maybe some side boob.)
I sit at a bar and I count how many are like me, I count two in a room of 30, one is a bar back Latinx and one is an African American bartender, I’ve done this since I realized that I am the other, and I need to find allies quick, in case shit goes down, in case there’s a race war
I order thai food from a food truck and the señor making the food could be my primo, while the Asian owner takes my order
Then there’s this 60s surf guitar mashup version:
Very late Wednesday night, I created a Twitter hashtag — #MakeMoviesMexican — and asked the Tuiteros if they had suggestions.
Huh? What do you mean? Like this:
#MAKEMOVIESMEXICAN. Gone With the Migra. White Men Can’t Cumbia. Get the idea?
(It turns out I wasn’t the first with this idea. Superstar pocho comic Felipe Esparza tried this concept in February.)
Here are the Pocho Ocho NEW Top Tweets we got in return (racist, ignorant Tweets not included — the entire thread is below.):
8. Mex In The City
7. Dude, Juarez My Car?
6. Finding Chapo
“A Mexican standoff,” according to Wikipedia, “is a confrontation among two or more parties in which no participant can proceed or retreat without being exposed to danger.” ¡Orale! Let’s get some of those cinema standoff scenes and mash them up! [POCHO only presents this video after receiving assurances from responsible parties that “no actual Mexicans were harmed in the making of this mashup.” Your mileage may vary.]
The mashup highlights the “trio scene” from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, a classic example of film editing. The 1966 Western was directed by Sergio Leone, and starred Clint Eastwood before he lost his mind, Lee Van Cleef, and Eli Wallach. Check the scene out here:
Thrills, chills, tetas, monsters, suspense, and more tetas are back from the dead and live on screen in Mexican Kitsch, a mashup by 3 centavos & 2 botones. How many of these cinematic classics do you recognize? [NSFW brief nip slips.]
I had to post this after reading that the actors who walked off Adam Sandler’s Ridiculous Six set get tagged as heroes and those who stayed, like me, get belittled.
My photograph (above) shows two of the men who walked off and the lady who stayed. They’re discussing the film’s infamous script, just after they talked to one of the assistant directors about the script.
PREVIOUSLY: Why I didn’t walk off Adam Sandler’s Ridiculous Six set
Just before he leaves, the man on the right attempts to gather as many of the 100-plus extras into a holding tent like the one pictured (below).
When high school students get addicted to weed, bad stuff happens. Reefer Madness depicts the horrific consequences — a hit and run, manslaughter, suicide, attempted rape, hallucinations, and a descent into madness. [NSFW probably. It’s complicated.]
When a student has trouble writing a school paper on Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., the slain civil rights leader returns from the dead to help him out.
Almost no science fiction and fantasy movies feature protagonists of color — not to mention women of color — but thankfully we have Zoe Saldaña! Check out this study and awful infographic from Lee & Low Books:
Stephen Colbert praises Cesar Chavez’s villainous co-star, John Malkovich, for his work in trying to stop greedy farmworkers from stealing our lettuce and letting our table grapes rot on the vine.
PREVIOUSLY ON STEPHEN COLBERT:
Loving you…is easy ’cause you’re beautiful, as this “super-cut” of creepy movie kisses shows. La la la la la la la.
PREVIOUSLY AT WALMART:
American History 101 – Pocho Style.
Zorro’s Fighting Legion is a 1939 Republic Pictures serial featuring Reed Hadley as Zorro. The plot revolves around Zorro’s alter-ego’s (Don Diego‘s) fight against the evil Don Del Oro, who wants to become Emperor of Mexico.
An occasional trope in this serial is the ritual death of at least one native informant, much like the death of a red-shirted Star Trek Away Team newbie. The direction was identical for each snitch’s demise, creating a source of unintentional humor: each one, upon uttering the phrase, “Don del Oro is…”, is shot by a golden arrow and dies before revealing the villain’s true identity.
Here’s Chapter 2, Flaming Z. (0:15 mins)
Seventy years ago, when Mexico joined the Allies (AKA the United Nations) to fight against Nazi Germany, the U.S. Office of Inter-American Affairs produced and released Mexican Moods praising our new BFF.
Sometimes shaky period color footage is matched by shaky period narration and musical production numbers as the film celebrates Mexico’s joining the United Nations, silver making in Taxco (right), modern Mexican airports, Aztec ruins and rituals and Mexican movie and stage stars like handsome young law-school-dropout/comic actor Cantinflas. The 11-minute video, produced and directed by Aldo Ermini, is right down here…
The crew of the USS Chocstromo really should have seen this coming.
Is Will Ferrell — currently starring in Casa de Mi Padre — the first Anglo comic actor to make a Spanish-language comedy without knowing a word of Spanish?
No guey! As you can see in this old movie clip, black and white jailbirds Oliver Hardy and Stan Laurel AKA El Gordo y El Flaco visited the Dentista and delivered their lines phonetically from a script 60 or more years ago. If you don’t know about Ferrell’s movie, you can peep the trailer below — it’s in Spanish AND color!
If you want the bottom line, here it is: I went into the movie with low expectations, but was surprised that it was funny, not racist, and well done.
In the film, Ferrell speaks entirely in Spanish, and I have to give him props for doing so well and not stooping to the level of “look at the funny white guy who can’t speak Spanish” jokes. As a matter fact, the movie was surprisingly devoid of the kinds of jokes where gringos make fun of Mexicans via brownfacing, or doing bad imitations of Mexicans.
The Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy (La Momia Azteca Contro El Robot Humano): The walking Aztec mummy Popoca has returned, and this time he is pitted against a mad scientist and his creation, the Human Robot, a cyborg with a mechanical body, steel claws and a human head! Enjoy one hour of cheesy Mexican horror cinema from 1958 – poorly dubbed in unlikely English!