social media

City calm after white male terrorist Pokémon Go ban (video)

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(PNS reporting from SANTA CHANCLA, CA) Streets were quiet here overnight as the city’s emergency ban on Pokémon Go went into effect at midnight.

Santa Chancla is the first city in California to ban Pokémon Go players within city limits, a ban authorized in response to widespread threats by white male terrorists.

“Every time you turn around some crazy young white guy is murdering someone — and these kids are running around in groups together? I don’t think so. Not in my town,” Mayor Juan Lopez told a press conference at City Hall this morning.

Mas…City calm after white male terrorist Pokémon Go ban (video)

Good Friday particularly disappointing for ambitious Facebook post

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By SYDNEY PRESLEY

(PNS reporting from RANCHO CUCAMONGA) The clock is ticking for Pope Franciss’ Facebook post, which is 50 AMEN comments short of its 10k goal and the promised resurrection and triumphant return of Jesus Christ.

The photo posted by the FB account using the Pontiff’s image has garnered thousands of “likes” and “shares” but was shy of the required AMENs as Easter loomed.

“I didn’t expect the post to take off like it did,” said Annette Benson, 54, a retired San Bernardino County clerk who runs the account from her home here. “I guess it just shows how much America is in need of a prayer right now. Jesus is what will make America great again. Let me hear you say AMEN!”

Mas…Good Friday particularly disappointing for ambitious Facebook post

In Paris, it’s #1PHOTOPOUR1TACO @ the Old El Paso taco truck (videos)

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elpasotruck
truckgirlsThe French arm of Old El Paso, the Tex-Mex style food people, asked ad agency Rosbeef! to generate buzz for their new premium Restaurante brand around late Paris last year.

Rosbeef! (Slogan: We’re creative and we have common sense; how cool is that!?) came up with a marketing combo plate of an Old El Paso Restaurante taco truck, taco selfies and the hashtag #1PHOTOPOUR1TACO. Share a photo with the hashtag, they said, and get a free taco made with El Paso stuff and a digital coupon to buy El Paso products at the market. ¡Que rico! Ooh la la tambien aussi!

Here’s the “case study” video:

Mas…In Paris, it’s #1PHOTOPOUR1TACO @ the Old El Paso taco truck (videos)

Abuela with iPad terrorizes area family via Facebook

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IGgrannyipad(PNS reporting from CHICAGO) Rigoberto “Rigo” Chavez, 15, cringed in horror when he logged into Facebook Thursday morning and received a notification that his abuelita had once again commented on his status.

The high school junior had posted a status that read “$waaaag$” and Abuelita replied in ALL CAPS:

CACHORRITO ERES LA LUZ DE MI VIDA. CUIDATE MUCHO TE QUIERO

Mas…Abuela with iPad terrorizes area family via Facebook

The first fitness facility just for Millennials: @#TheGym (video)

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Millennials — this means you! Whether you need a fitness regime for your swiping fingers, interval training for Instagram, improved low-impact Twitter technique or advanced aerobic Facebook, you need to be @ #TheGym. Ask about February special prices for Mega-Gigabyte Torrent Training™, Skiing with Skype™, and Building Better Abs with Bitcoin™.

Pocho Ocho top Tweets Dave & Buster’s planned to send next

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daveandbusterstweetThe Twitterverse exploded with charges of racism yesterday following pork-pushing restauranteurs Dave & Buster’s #TacoTuesday Tweet fail. (Photo of Tweet, since deleted from the company’s timeline.)

Even pimp-my-product professional journal AdWeek was pained by the chain’s gigantic boner:

And your massive brand Twitter fail of the day goes to … Dave & Buster’s!

Mas…Pocho Ocho top Tweets Dave & Buster’s planned to send next

Will social media F*ckyer hashtag un-f*ck social media? (NSFW video)

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That symbol we used to call the “number sign” or “pound sign” that they now call as “hash sign” — # — is ruining social media. All the cool kids have switched over to what we used to call the “percent sign” — % — to make social media a better place for you and me, especially me. Try the new % F*ckyer sign and find out yourself! [NSFW adult language.]

[Sponsored] NSA cyber spy gear on sale now — big post-Xmas savings!

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greensucker640It’s after Christmas and everything must go — and our prices are INSAAAAANE!

There’s nothing wrong with any of these state-of-the-art electronic spying devices we picked up at the NSA year-end auction. They’re new, they’re still in the original packaging and they are the very best in the world, except for one thing:

They are last year’s models.

That’s just not the way your National Security Agency rolls.

So check out these two items just released for sale (click to enlarge) and if you want to see more, click on the big link below.

Mas…[Sponsored] NSA cyber spy gear on sale now — big post-Xmas savings!

MEX A&E suspends ‘Guac Dynasty’ jefe after hate Tweet

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(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY) Felipe Roberto, star of the reality show Guac Dynasty, which follows the Roberto clan of rude and crude avocado wranglers through their struggle with weeds, bugs and family dysfunction, has been suspended by the Mexican Arte y Entretenimiento TV network (MEX A&E) after his hateful Tweet about Americans went viral, PNS has learned.

Roberto told his 3,827 Twitter followers that he was flying to Los Angeles for Christmas and he hoped he “didn’t get the gays” from the “Hollywood maricons.”

Mas…MEX A&E suspends ‘Guac Dynasty’ jefe after hate Tweet

Elise @buttronica Roedenbeck VS the Pope — on Twitter (video)

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Our MiJA, Elise @buttronica Roedenbeck, doesn’t want much. She just wants additional followers on the Twitter as part of her plan for worldwide social media domination. Follow Elise to win a small box lunch with individual carafe of wine plus other cool incentives like scribbled notes and video winks (must be over legal drinking age and legal box-eating age in your jurisdiction.) Vegans — ask about the kale-quinoa bowls!

And then comes along Pope Francis (his handle is @pontifex) who is offering PAPAL INDULGENCES on Twitter. Not PayPal, you geeks, but Papal Indulgences from the Holy Father that shorten your stay in the limbo of Purgatory. What’s our MiJA to do?

[What can we say about Elise Roedenbeck, POCHO’s New Jack City Burro Jefe Emeritus, that hasn’t been ruled out by the terms of the negotiated settlement and mutual release of all claims? Just this: She sure likes butter, and it’s “butt-ronica” not “but-tronica.”]