COMIC SAENZ

Comic Saenz is the font name of Dennis Wilen, POCHO's Jefe-de-Content.

Ñewsweek: Crip-walkin’, boner-stalkin’, white-talkin’ and Irish stuff

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POCHO caught Olympic fever this week as the ñews from London captivated the Internets.

Who could ever forget the magic of Serena William’s Crip-walking victory dance, complemented by our astutely-curated contextualizing rich media augmentation — a C-walk video from España?

And when a bronze-winning American rower brandished a boner at the medal ceremony, only Jon Stewart and POCHO Migrant Editor Al Madrigal were men enough to get to the root of the problem, a story so popular that POCHO is #1 on Google when you search for “jon stewart olympic stiffy.”

*NOT ALL! MORE SAY!* Hey, white guy — the viral video for middle class male Caucasians who are sick and tired of all the damn attention being paid to women and minorities and gays — remains a World Wide Websation, and our scandalous Irish Broadcasting Authority Olympic NSFW video exposed for all of America the kind of coverage NBC was afraid to deliver.

Hella week, eh? Mira the links:

Mas…Ñewsweek: Crip-walkin’, boner-stalkin’, white-talkin’ and Irish stuff

Sassy cutie Armida stars in 1944’s ‘Machine Gun Mama’ (video)

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(Machine Gun Mama, 1944, 60 mins) Two Brooklyn fishes-out-of-water are south of the border when their truck breaks down on the way to deliver an elephant. (Yes. On the way to deliver an elephant. This lightweight comedy is big on gags and short on plot.) Luckily (!) they run into a roadside Mexican circus-carnival-sideshow. Homegirl cutie-pie Armida is hysterical as the sassy female circus star. Listen to her curse at the gringos in Spanish!

Who is Armida? From IMDB:

Mas…Sassy cutie Armida stars in 1944’s ‘Machine Gun Mama’ (video)

Special Sports Video: The Olympics NBC won’t let you see (NSFW)

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As the 2012 Olympics head towards their conclusion, Americans continue to complain about NBC‘s broadcast coverage — missed events, stupid commentary, crazy time delays and worse. We snagged this sailing video from the Irish Broadcasting Authority (IBA) to show you what other folks around the world see. (NSFW language.)

RELATED:

Nasty Nalgas Research: Stressed out guys like big butts (with videos)

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I am always so proud when humanity expands the frontiers of knowledge. Scientific American reports the result of a new study:

The team took college men and had half of them perform a stressful task unrelated to food or money which raised their cortisol levels. They then asked the stressed and unstressed men to take a look at some images of women, and rate their attractiveness. The images varied in body size, from underweight to obese. Finally, they recorded the participants own weight, height, and hunger status, as controlling variables.

The results were clear. The stressed out guys preferred a larger body size than their relaxed counterparts – but that was not all. “Men experiencing stress not only perceive a heavier female body size as maximally attractive, but also more positively perceive heavier female body sizes and have a wider range of body sizes considered physically attractive.

There may be less to this than meets the eye, according to colleague Victor Payan:

Mas…Nasty Nalgas Research: Stressed out guys like big butts (with videos)

Remake of Spanish classic, this ‘Lazarillo Z’ has zombies (trailer)

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In this remake of the 16th-Century Spanish-language novel, The Life of Lazarillo de Tormes and of His Fortunes and Adversities, we follow the adventures of young Lazarillo Z. He’s just a poor boy, from a poor family, who has to live by his wits after being sold to a series of cruel masters. In this upcoming production from Spain, everyone’s tryin’ bring the poor kid down, including zombies. And the trailer has a totally unexpected ending. (Spanish with English subtitles. Gory zombie stuff.)

Man hits breakfast taco with flyswatter, finds face of Jesus Christ

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It was an ordinary day in Beeville, TX, according to Paul Gonzalez of the Beeville Bee-Picayune:

BEEVILLE— There was nothing inherently different about Ernesto Garza when he walked into the newspaper office with a piece of foil folded in half.

An older man who attends La Amistad Adult Daycare, Garza walked in, sat down and said, “I have something to show you.”

“I was sitting just like I am now,” Garza said. “I ate more than half of my taco, then a fly was flying around, so I grabbed the flyswatter, and I hit it, and when I looked down, I saw it.”

It was the face of Jesus looking up at him from his half-eaten tortilla.

Mas…Man hits breakfast taco with flyswatter, finds face of Jesus Christ

Mexclusive: Curiosity’s cameras photograph possible alien life-form

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BREAKING NEWS: The Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) in Pasadena has just released the first in a series of photographs from the Curiosity Mars Rover that appear to show a strange alien life-form on the surface of the Red Planet. POCHO is following the story and will bring you updates as they come in.

You’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do you ‘feel locky’? (video)

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Se hacen llaves (Feeling locky): After a long day at work, Misifús Godínez just wants to go home and rest. Nevertheless, a broken key and a peculiar locksmith will stand in the way for peace. (Después de un largo día de trabajo, Misifús Godínez solo quiere llegar a su casa a descansar. Sin embargo, no contaba con que una llave rota y un cerrajero muy peculiar se interpondrán entre él y su tranquilidad.)

Ñewsweek: Ostriches attack, burritos offend and chickens go gay

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It was an ordinary day in an ordinary Mexican convenience store and recorded in grainy black and white by an ordinary surveillance video camera. And then the masked luchador entered – with a posse of ostriches.

This POCHO ñewsweek featured the Florida burritos with offensive names, chicken culture war hawk Col. Sanders’s statement on gay marriage and a chance for you to join Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz’s personal campaign to help the survivors of the Anaheim police department’s trigger-happy cops. Here are the links:

Mas…Ñewsweek: Ostriches attack, burritos offend and chickens go gay

Documentary: ‘Zoot Suit’ knows the way to Monterey (video)

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In 2008, Monterey County education officials (Central California) mounted a massive effort to stage three separate productions of Luis Valdez’ epic play, Zoot Suit, featuring combined casts and crews of kids from all their high schools. This documentary follows the teachers, Valdez, local volunteers and student actors from planning through auditions to show time.

The next time someone complains that arts education programs are a waste of money or that teachers are ripping off taxpayers, ask them to watch this video. They probably won’t watch, but if they do, and still don’t think Monterey County did a good thing, un-friend them on Facebook. With friends like that, you don’t need enemies!

If they agree, then let’s all bailar to Lalo Guerrero’s Los Chucos Suaves!

Mas…Documentary: ‘Zoot Suit’ knows the way to Monterey (video)

Rockin’ Los Angeles Oaxacan marching band style (video)

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Click, watch and share for 91 seconds of pure musical joy! If you can, listen real loud and/or with headphones for the amazing live sound recording and KILLER tuba playing! (That’s actually a Sousaphone, a modified tuba that wraps around the player’s body and is specially-designed for marching bands.) This Oaxacan marching band heralded the opening of FIOB — Frente Indigena de Organizaciones Binacionales (Indigenous Front of Bi-national Organizations) — in downtown Los Angeles on Tuesday. Sam Quiñones shot the video and has the story, via our friends at NewsTaco.com.

  • And what about that chica on the bus bench? What is she thinking?

Mexican Mitt Romney’s Pocho Ocho picks for Vice Presidente

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8. Mr. Clean:  Although a white male, not a very diverse pick, Mr. Clean makes Mexican Mitt’s hair stand out even more when they stand next to each other.

7. Quaker Oats Quaker:  Another white male, but this man’s religious values and the fact that he stands for America, makes him attractive to the Romney camp. It’s the right thing to do.

6. Uncle Ben:  Fight fire with fire! Mexican Mitt says  the best way to displace the first African-American president  is to bring along a black chef! Isaac Hayes was not available.

Mas…Mexican Mitt Romney’s Pocho Ocho picks for Vice Presidente

New listing: 23rd Century Aztec pychedelic pyramid hilltop estate

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Mayans and Aztecs are the new black and now it’s only $1,949,000 for the Aztec/Mayan psychedelic pyramid estate of your dreams, right here in Pocho Estates (A Gated Community.)   Here’s the listing and a mini photo gallery:

ARE YOU LOOKING FOR EXCITEMENT? Want to be transported from the Aztec Pyramids of the 16th Century, into a 23rd century architectural wonder? A monumental sculpture moves from one end of the infinity pool to the other, like Aztec steps leading to an array of futuristic marvels. As you float in this pool, youre at the top of a Mayan empire, surrounded by mountains. Its just you & nature.The first floor is 6700 square feet of openness,with a kitchen floating in the middle, awash in rich wood cabinets, and a breakfast area with four huge windows,all facing those magnificent mountains. Acid washed concrete floors link each area, interspersed with slate-wrapped pillars. Both the living area and master bedroom boast a 4-sided fireplace, wrapped in Italian tiles.

Mas…New listing: 23rd Century Aztec pychedelic pyramid hilltop estate

Ñewsweek: Mea maxima culpa, Anaheim and RIP Lupe Ontiveros

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The death of beloved actress Lupe Ontiveros, the Pocho Ocho top Chicano sins and death and protest in Klanaheim topped the ñews this week on POCHO, and we’ve got links:

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