It’s Not News to Us
Pochos, we have the sad.
When we reported in February that the famous ancient elongated skulls of Paracas, Peru contained alien DNA, we thought it was all scientific and stuff.
Here’s what we wrote.
Mas…No, ancient Peruvians didn’t have alien DNA because science
A gringo goes to Tijuana to meet the men, both tecnicos and rudos, behind in the masks of lucha libre.
An Australian company has compiled the Top 100 get message abbreviations they use in Oz (photo) and we realized the list from way way overseas totally leaves out the abbreviations we pochos use.
Here are the Pocho Ocho most popular Spanglish text message abbreviations:
8. FTP: Fuck That Puto
7. ADM: Ay Dios Mio
6. NMG: No Mames Guey
Historic Otumba, in the State of Mexico, was filled with ass-loving fans at the Feria del Burro (donkey fair) earlier this year.
Mas…Donkey see, donkey do at Otumba’s annual Burro Fair (video)
Dire Straits’ hit Sultans of Swing filled the air in Sao Paolo, Brazil, last week. This guy rocks!
Today’s word is fajita, (/fəˈhiːtə/; Spanish: [faˈxita]), commonly referring to any grilled meat served as a taco on a flour or corn tortilla in Tex-Mex cuisine. It’s a difficult word to pronounce properly, so listen closely.
PREVIOUSLY ON PROPER PRONUNCIATION:
Mas…Proper Pronunciation for Pochos: ‘How to say fajita’ (video)
Four guys with picks and shovels dig a water well in Oaxaca in this 2008 video. The temperature approached 100°, according to the uploader. It’s amazing to watch how hard these guys work, and the techniques they use to turn a hole in the ground into a working well.
Here’s what it says on YouTube:
Mas…If you think you worked hard today, watch these guys! (video)
Hello. Is Tia Lencha here. I haves the World Cup feber. Do ju?
Is the feber ju get from watching the World Cups and being so mad at the referees and Holland and wonder who put brujeria on Brazil, that ju want to hit the telebision with a cuchara from the kishen. But I watch the games anyways.
The only gway I can watch the games now is to drink some micheladas to make me want to hit the telebision less times. So today I tell ju how to make chilaquiles to go with the beers that ju need in order to watch the games of the third place and the finals this week.
First the ingrediens:
Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: How ju make chilaquiles for the World Cup
Sometimes you feel like a zombie, sometimes you need to just pop a cap on his pinche butt. Especially when they sing and dance! [SFW but gangs, guns, gore.]
PREVIOUSLY ON ZOMBIES:
Red-headed Frida wants to triumph in lucha libre but she needs to find some inner strength first, not to mention her secret ingredient.
PREVIOUSLY ON LUCHA LIBRE:
Mas…Frida the Luchadora: ‘The Legend of the Flying Tomato’ (video)
Just like President John F. Kennedy who charmed the world with this line in the 1960s, “Ich bin ein berliner” is magic.
PREVIOUSLY ON BORDER PATROL:
Mas…Sprechen Sie Deutsch? The Border Patrol says ‘Willkommen!’ (video)
White Boy Chicano
It’s an identity crisis
My parents are Mexican migrants, who stay busy all the time
Spanish is my first language, then almost losing it because of time
My TV only showed Mexicans involved in crime
The stereotypes didn’t represent me
My school peers didn’t believe me
I wasn’t Mexican or White
Being a gringo and Mehican left me asking,
Who am I? Where do I belong to?
Pinche White Boy
Remember? Elvis Presley, the King of Rock and Roll, went to India in 1989 and shot a chips commercial wearing pointy boots? You don’t remember ever seeing it? Here it is. You’re welcome.
East Los homies Las Cafeteras are back with a son jarocho version of the Woody Guthrie’s classic This Land Is Your land with acoustic aplomb and some updated Spanglish lyrics:
Mas…Las Cafeteras: This Land Is Your Land (music video + lyrics)
POCHO compa Flavio Morales just uploaded this gem to Vimeo. Here’s how he describes it:
FIREWORKS: Mission Pocho Viejo American Legion Post 536 once again presents their Annual Fireworks Extravagonzo Friday at sunset. This year the pyrotechnics come from Zamboni Bros., new to California, with their presentation Hella Hockey Holiday – a tribute to the Estanley Cup World Champions, Los Reyes de Los Angeles.
Moms: bring your blankets and sit the kids on the grass at Sotomayor Stadium. Dads: Do NOT bring your own fireworks.
INK AND DRINK: Two businesses in the El Rancho Pocho Downtown Historical District are getting together for a patriotic combo deal that’s hard to beat. Get any flag or patriotic tat at Inky Dinky’s House of Pain on Porciuncula Place Friday through Sunday and Inky will slide you a $10 pre-paid bar tab for the Loco Lounge next door. And guys, if you like thick chicks, you’ll love new tattoo artist Salma’s Fernando Botero-inspired portraits of your true hyna, right over your heart.
Mas…Around Our Town: Where to go, what to do for July 4th weekend
Used to be you could always celebrate the Fourth of July along the border in the most patriotic way: by detonating illegal Mexican fireworks.
Here are some of our favorite dangerous Mexican fireworks from when men were men, and fireworks were weapons grade bundles o’ fun!
8. Guadalajara Guarheads
7. Tijuana TNT
6. La La La La La Bomba
Mas…For July 4, try these Pocho Ocho favorite Mexican fireworks
Is this the real life, is this just fantasy? On Facebook, you never know.
PREVIOUSLY ON FACEBOOK:
How’s your Portuguese? The LiveLeak uploader says this high-tech balsero is yelling “Why do we need hospitals, roads, schools and public security if we have the World Cup? Give [me] my beer to enjoy this shit!”
Scientists investigating the archaeological complex of Incahuasi, south of Lima, have uncovered 25 well-preserved quipus.
The 600-year-old strings are an example of the technology of the Inca civilization, which never developed a written language.
Quipu – also called “khi-pus” or “talking knots” – are made up of colored spun thread, and sometimes, llama or alpaca hair.
The ornately knotted strings are thought to have helped in record-keeping, when authorities wanted to monitor items such as taxes and population.
It’s boobs, chi-chis, ta-tas, hooters, tetas and breasts galore inside this bounce house for adults.
But haven’t we seen a breast-filled rubber room before? From one of MR. POCHO’s favorite bands?
Yes, we have, but we can’t run it here. 🙂 Click to peep this NSFW video from Mexican rockers Molotov with Rastamandita, the “Full Tetas Version.”
PREVIOUSLY ON CHI-CHIS:
Futbol fans went topless to flaunt their ripped torsos for the camera and World Cup FIFA Fan Fest crowds in Sao Paolo Saturday.
