Just before Kim Kardashian was rushed to Cedars-Sinai Hospital in West Hollywood to deliver a daughter (with babydaddy Kanye West), she was at Lamaze classes with unwed teenage mom-to-be Rosalinda Guzman. (NSFW language.)
Cultura
It’s Not News to Us
Luiz Antonio: A argumentação para não comer polvo (video)
From Brazil: Young Luiz Antonio asks Mom about the octopus (polvo) they’re having for lunch:
Is an octopus an animal? Where is his head? Why did he have to die? Is a chicken an animal? A cow? I don’t want them to die. Why are you crying, Mommy?
If Betsy Ross hung out with Diego Rivera’s ‘La Molendera’ (toon)
Another painted exploration mashing up alternate realities and histories by Mike Madrid, a tribute to Diego Rivera.
RELATED:
Beyond the Facts: Patriotic student refuses to learn Spanish (video)
“You can’t force me to learn a foreign language on American soil,” high school sophomore Kyle Johnson said. “Spanish sucks! I’m American and I speak American!” And he went to court to fight for his rights. (NSFW explicit language.)
Flash: Man is only a misogynist when at his mom’s house
(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) Mario Villarreal isn’t considered a misogynist by most of his friends — he even has female friends — but everything changes once he crosses the threshold of his mother’s home here.
“All of a sudden, he’s struck with a sudden case of mamitis, which in turn causes his machismo to come out,” said Monica García, who is Villarreal’s friend outside of the confines of his mom’s.
“He’s pretty down most of the time, he came out to Take Back the Night and the Chicana Women’s Forum we held last month,” the UCLA junior said. “But when I went home to his mom’s house he was all, like, telling her what to do while sitting on the couch when clearly she was tired. What a jerk!”
The Latino Shopper: You probably think this vid is about you
ZOMG! They made a video about mi gente, The Latino Shopper? About how we are unique and have a special sensual way of Latino shopping? Because, after all, all Latinos are the same! That’s right, Hispanics, too! Does this video have clip art, arrows and zoomy sound effects? Perky gabacho announcer? ¡Orale! I am so there!
Flash: Three authors get Castaneda Research Bullshit Award
(PNS reporting from LOS ANGELES) Carmen Reinhart and Kenneth Rogoff, authors of the mathematically-challenged Growth in a Time of Debt pro-“austerity” study, and Jason Richwine, the Heritage Foundation researcher who claimed Hispanics have lower IQs, are the recipients of the 2013 Carlos Castaneda Award for Academic Bullshit, it was announced today.
The prize is named for the Peruvian-born UCLA anthropologist and cult leader who wrote several best-selling books about a Yaqui brujo that were marketed as truth but turned out to be bullshit. It’s presented annually to “those academic authors who manage to fool some of the people some of the time.”
The award, which features a $19.99 monthly stipend and a year’s supply of vegetarian “sausage” for the winners, is a community project of the Soyrizo Foundation of Los Angeles, which is “dedicated to recognizing and celebrating phony-ass shit wherever we find it, with a spicy Latin flair,” executive vice president Penn O. Kehoe said in a foundation press release.
Mas…Flash: Three authors get Castaneda Research Bullshit Award
Food News: Flying burger copter delivers lunch in England (video)
It’s not bogus like the taco copter or merely a proof of concept like the flying burrito bomber. It’s not a product that hasn’t shipped yet, like the 3D tortilla printer. The flying hamburger copter is here; actually it’s over there, in London. As a matter of fact, if you’re in London now, order a burger to go with everything on it to be delivered to the POCHO office. When they ask for money, tell ’em Wimpy sent you.
Pocho Gothic (toon)
One picture is worth a thousand words. This illustration begs the question, “Are you looking at me?” [Painting by Mike Madrid]
Dr. Gonzo Oscar Zeta Acosta sees shadow, will hide for another year
(PNS reporting from MEXICO) Famed Chicano attorney Oscar Zeta Acosta — who “disappeared without a trace” in Mexico 40 years ago — has once again seen his shadow while sitting on the wharf in San Blas, Nayarit. Now he’ll have to live a life of secret exile for another year.
Acosta, now 78, sits on a comfortable chair overlooking the Pacific every June 1. If he sees his shadow before a certain time, Acosta announces, “I have paid all my debts, I have paid all my dues and now nothing remains but the joy of madness. Another Indian gone amok.”
He made that exact announcement in a workingman’s waterfront pulque bar 10 days ago, PNS has learned.
Mas…Dr. Gonzo Oscar Zeta Acosta sees shadow, will hide for another year
Whitest Kids U Know: Hey, kids, aren’t you lucky?! (music video)
Aren’t You Lucky to be born in the only place that always gets it right? The Whitest Kids U Know sing.
Student stunned to learn blue contacts don’t make her look white
(PNS reporting from SAN ANTONIO) Marisa Rodriguez just wanted to look “fresh” for the summer.
What she didn’t want was the public humiliation from finding out the blue contact lenses she bought at the Mothers’ Day car show and swap meet at Traders’ Village didn’t actually make her look fresh, or more white.
“It happened at school when one of my classmates laughed at me when I asked him if he noticed something different about me,” the Harlandale High School junior tearfully told PNS.
“Justin is a bully, he just laughed at said I had a nopal on my forehead and that I looked lame with these blue contacts!”
Mas…Student stunned to learn blue contacts don’t make her look white
Report from Barrio Walden: Chillin’ pondside with Enrique Thoreau
IMAGINE MY SHOCK.
I was living in Massachusetts for the first time. Adjusting. The first time I saw snow falling past my Somerville apartment window, I told a woman on the phone that a neighbor was on the roof shaking out a pillow. Not many snowstorms in my desertified homeland. The first time I saw ice on the sidewalk, I thought a prankster had smeared Vaseline on the bricks to watch businessmen fall down.
This old world was all new to me. I was manhandled by quotidian revelations, wrenched by the duende of Yankee cultural hoodoo. So when I realized I could walk over to Porter Square (where the porterhouse steak was first hacked out of some Bostonian cow) and catch a commuter train to Concord, to Walden freakin’ Pond, I was off and running.
Mas…Report from Barrio Walden: Chillin’ pondside with Enrique Thoreau
Depressed? Shy? Ask your doctor if tequila is right for you (video)
Are you depressed? Shy? Trouble coming out of your shell? Do you sometimes feel you should be more assertive? Ask your doctor if tequila is right for you.
Dateline Република Србија: All my friends know the lowrider (video)
In the formerly-Soviet Република Србија (Republic of Serbia), lowrider rides you!
Princeton Study: Majority of Mexicans don’t know how to dance salsa
(PNS reporting from PRINCETON) A study from Princeton University has confirmed what many have long believed: Mexicans, and Mexican Americans, do not actually know how to dance to salsa music.
A Caribbean Hispanic export, salsa is often included with more typically Mexican dance styles, like the quebradita or cumbia, but the truth, according to the study, is that Mexicans don’t actually know what they are doing.
“Salsa is, like, a Cuban thing. My family is from Denver,” one research subject complained.
“Participants in the study reported anxiety and cluelessness when attending quinceañeras and hearing Elvis Crespo or Celia Cruz music playing,” said cultural anthropology professor Dr. Anton Flemming, who was the lead researcher on the project.
Mas…Princeton Study: Majority of Mexicans don’t know how to dance salsa
Shocking video: Facebook updates a guy’s real life
True story! My cousin’s friend in Baltimore came back to his place after work and found out that Facebook had updated his real life! Luckily for us, he had a full sound and video crew there. Also maybe lighting and craft services.
Gustavo Arellano: Summers, I turn on my inner George Clooney
Summers are when our amigo Gustavo ¡Ask A Mexican! Arellano, editor of the OC Weekly, turns on his inner George Clooney. In a grisly yearly ritual, Gustavo entrusts me, POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz, with the opportunity to illustrate a comic relating some sad aspect of his tragic love life. He writes the comic script, but then lets me have his way with the last panel, and the results are guaranteed to entertain you and embarrass Gus! The way he described it to me, it looks something like this…
Get Loqui! Spanglish mariachi cover of Daft Punk’s ‘Get Lucky’ (video)
No, it’s not Juan Direction. It’s Sangre Azteca playing Uruapan Mexican Son the mariachi and Spanglish-ish version of Get Lucky by Daft Punk. You can hear these guys every Friday on the radio show Despierta Exa 6 to 10 AM, probably in some Mexican time zone, on Exa FM. Their Spanglish is more like Manglish.
Here are the English lyrics so you can follow along:
Mas…Get Loqui! Spanglish mariachi cover of Daft Punk’s ‘Get Lucky’ (video)
Rice Boy Liu: Rapping in 12 different ethnic accents (NSFW video)
Hey, Mr. Homie Rice Boy Liu: Do I really esound like that? (NSFW language.)
Criança de 2 anos canta ‘Don’t Let Me Down,’ dos Beatles (video)
This two-year-old Brazilian kid rocks the classic Don’t Let Me Down dos Beatles.
Thanks to Gabacho Borracho for the link!
Hey you with the ‘public display of affection’ — don’t do that! (video)
Hey, you two! Get a room! (From España with love, but not too much.)
Luchador Peatonito is Mexico City’s ‘Defender of Pedestrians’ (video)
In Mexico City, a superhero luchador fights for the rights of pedestrians.
The Wall Street Journal reports:
If you ever get stuck in gridlock at an intersection in this crowded capital city, you can’t expect help from a street cop. But you might try “Peatónito,” the protector of pedestrians who dresses as a Mexican wrestler.
When a car blocks a crosswalk, from out of nowhere appears Peatónito (“little pedestrian” in Spanish), in a cape and wrestler’s mask. He stands directly in front of the car and tries to push it back with his bare hands—often to the astonishment of the drivers. If a motorbike is parked on the sidewalk blocking the way, Peatónito lifts it up and puts it on the curb where it belongs.
Mas…Luchador Peatonito is Mexico City’s ‘Defender of Pedestrians’ (video)
When goats attack, it’s no laughing matter! Well, actually… (video)
As you can see from this video, these goats seem to have something against people. Is that Portuguese they’re speaking?
New! Hands-free Whopper™ makes eating junk food easy! (video)
Today’s world is all about the multi-tasking! You want to Tweet. You want to play your guitar. You want to walk the perros. You want to give your customer a puro tat. And you want to eat a delicious Whopper™ from Burger King. No worries, meng. The hands-free Whopper™ is here!
Breaking: Pasadena asshole complains ‘No one likes me’
(PNS reporting from PASADENA) Bob Lowe recently discovered that — for some reason — he is disliked by all his coworkers.
He explained the confusing situation to PNS Wednesday afternoon as he poured himself the last cup of coffee, left the empty pot on the heating element, and walked away without making more.
“I just don’t get it, you know?” he said. “I mean, maybe I take peoples’ lunches sometimes, big deal, you know? What did you think was gonna happen if you left food in the fridge?”
Lowe’s officemates on the eleventh floor have complained to company Vice President of Human Resources Mike Cervantes numerous times about Lowe’s inability to keep deadlines, hapless attempts to get others to do his work, refusal to learn new things, terrible personal hygiene and general rudeness in the 10 months since he was hired, but to no avail.
Pocho Ocho best summer activities for teenage boys
School is mostly over and Summer is mostly here. How can pocho parents keep a teenage boy busy?
Here’s our list of the Pocho Ocho best summer activities for your teenage boy:
8. Get a tat
7. Join a gang
6. Hock a loogie
Mexican cuisine in Alta California: Not what you think (video)
Here in San Angeles there would be no restaurants without Mexicans in the kitchen. But they’re not cooking what you think.
Disney’s quinceañera gowns intro new Latina Rites of Passage line
The Disney Corp’s new princess-inspired quinceañera gowns are but the first in a new line of Latina Rites of Passage gowns, PNS has learned.
The new dresses for tweens and teens are “designed to honor the milestones in young Latinas’ lives in the passionate, spicy way Disney defines Hispanic identities,” a Disney spokesperson said. Aside from the quinceañera gowns (photo) Disney has eight other dresses ready to mark these Rites of Passage:
8. First minimum wage job
7. First walk of shame
6. First boy gets to second base
Mas…Disney’s quinceañera gowns intro new Latina Rites of Passage line
Xochitl Julisa Bermejo: ‘Our Lady of the Water Gallons’ (video)
Xochitl Julisa Bermejo is a poet and teacher from Asuza, CA who volunteered with No More Deaths, a humanitarian organization providing water bottles in the Arizona desert where immigrants crossing from Mexico often die of exposure. She read her poem Our Lady of the Water Gallons at a Mental Cocido (Mental Stew) gathering of Latino authors.
Raza in Espace: Commander Chakotay, indigenista Starfleet officer
| The future includes brown. We’ve seen Raza captain spaceships, battle real aliens, and go where no mestizo has gone before. They invent and create. In Raza in Espace, we will highlight Latino characters in science-fiction. Pues, Engage! | |
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How do you rebel when you’re raised on an indigenista planet with a traditional tribal culture?
Teenage Chakotay left the tribe and entered Starfleet Academy, and grew up to
became a freedom fighter who engaged the Cardassians and became the voice of reason as Voyager’s first officer during their long journey back to the Alpha Quadrant.
He was also a mentor to Latina engineer, B’Elenna Torres and sported a bad-ass facial tattoo before Mike Tyson.
Commander Chakotay was raised on a planet on the border between the United Federation of Planets and Cardassian Union.
Mas…Raza in Espace: Commander Chakotay, indigenista Starfleet officer