Coming soon to a theater near them: Navajo ‘Star Wars’ (NPR audio)

If you find yourself in the Navajo Nation (in Arizona) on July 3, you’re in the right place at the right time for a once-in-a-lifetime experience — the premiere of Star Wars, translated into Navajo.

NPR reports:

The 1977 classic has been translated into many languages, and the latest effort is the brainchild of Manuelito Wheeler, director of the Navajo Nation Museum in Window Rock, Ariz.

“We needed a way to preserve our culture,” Wheeler tells NPR’s Robert Siegel. “Language is at the core of a culture. And I felt we needed a more contemporary way to reach not just young people but the population in general. And so, that’s when the idea of translating a major movie into the Navajo language came up.”

Here’s the NPR interview:

Spanglish with @wilw Wheaton: Today’s word is ‘pupacabras’ (Vine)


Wil and Anne Wheaton consider the correct pronunciation of the word for “chupacabra puppies.” [New to Vine? We are too! Click on the audio speaker icon in the top left corner of the image to hear Wil and Anne. You may have to hover your mouse over some magic spot to make icon appear; we’re not entirely sure.]

Kanye West’s ‘I Am A God’ as read by Elise Roedenbeck (video)


When an important pop culture artifact like a Kanye West CD (or baby) drops, smart pochas y pochos step back from the frenzy and take a dispassionate look at WTF is going on.

That’s why our MiJA, Elise Roedenbeck, at her new gig down there in Miami with Fusion, embarked on a dramatic reading of the West composition I Am A God, from the album Yeezus. (SAFE FOR WORK. ALL LYRICS HAVE BEEN SANITIZED FOR YOUR PROTECTION.)

In Brazil, this is how they roll — tractor tire style (video)


A huge rolling tractor tire gathers no moss, especially if you and a buddy are curled up inside going downhill. Kids, don’t do this at home without a safety helmet and a chase truck. Also, please remember Brazil is in the Southern Hemisphere, where everything is upside down and bass-ackwards. If you try this in the U.S., position the tire to roll uphill.

Pocho Ocho things about the USA that surprise Cuban defectors


Cuban ballet dancers who recently defected from their troupe in Mexico and now live in Miami are “amazed at how many foods come canned and can be easily heated up in a microwave,” according to the Associated Press.

Canned foods! But wait, there’s mas. Here are the Pocho Ocho other things about the U.S. that also surprised our new island immigrants:

8. Studebaker, DeSoto, Willys and Nash are out of the automobile business

7. America’s most famous Cuban? Mark Cuban

6. Fidel is a sofa bed mogul and Che sells t-shirts

Mas…Pocho Ocho things about the USA that surprise Cuban defectors

A Tribe Called Quest: I Left My Wallet in El Segundo (music video)


True story! My mom went on a game show and won a cruise vacation and left me home alone so I took the 1974 Dodge Dart with my crew and went cruising. Across the country. We paid our turnpike tolls and hit the road, taking turns driving so people could sleep in the back. Then we got lost in the middle of the desert. And look at this — a four-foot dude in a big sombrero. Hey, Pedro do you know where we can get gas and food? Sure, says Pedro, over there in El Segundo….

Flash: Man is only a misogynist when at his mom’s house

(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) Mario Villarreal isn’t considered a misogynist by most of his friends — he even has female friends — but everything changes once he crosses the threshold of his mother’s home here.

“All of a sudden, he’s struck with a sudden case of mamitis, which in turn causes his machismo to come out,” said Monica García, who is Villarreal’s friend outside of the confines of his mom’s.

“He’s pretty down most of the time, he came out to Take Back the Night and the Chicana Women’s Forum we held last month,” the UCLA junior said. “But when I went home to his mom’s house he was all, like, telling her what to do while sitting on the couch when clearly she was tired. What a jerk!”

Mas…Flash: Man is only a misogynist when at his mom’s house

The Latino Shopper: You probably think this vid is about you


ZOMG! They made a video about mi gente, The Latino Shopper? About how we are unique and have a special sensual way of Latino shopping? Because, after all, all Latinos are the same! That’s right, Hispanics, too! Does this video have clip art, arrows and zoomy sound effects? Perky gabacho announcer? ¡Orale! I am so there!

Flash: Three authors get Castaneda Research Bullshit Award

(PNS reporting from LOS ANGELES) Carmen Reinhart and Kenneth Rogoff, authors of the mathematically-challenged Growth in a Time of Debt pro-“austerity” study, and Jason Richwine, the Heritage Foundation researcher who claimed Hispanics have lower IQs, are the recipients of the 2013 Carlos Castaneda Award for Academic Bullshit, it was announced today.

The prize is named for the Peruvian-born UCLA anthropologist and cult leader who wrote several best-selling books about a Yaqui brujo that were marketed as truth but turned out to be bullshit. It’s presented annually to “those academic authors who manage to fool some of the people some of the time.”

The award, which features a $19.99 monthly stipend and a year’s supply of vegetarian “sausage” for the winners, is a community project of the Soyrizo Foundation of Los Angeles, which is “dedicated to recognizing and celebrating phony-ass shit wherever we find it, with a spicy Latin flair,” executive vice president Penn O. Kehoe said in a foundation press release.

Mas…Flash: Three authors get Castaneda Research Bullshit Award

Food News: Flying burger copter delivers lunch in England (video)


It’s not bogus like the taco copter or merely a proof of concept like the flying burrito bomber. It’s not a product that hasn’t shipped yet, like the 3D tortilla printer. The flying hamburger copter is here; actually it’s over there, in London. As a matter of fact, if you’re in London now, order a burger to go with everything on it to be delivered to the POCHO office. When they ask for money, tell ’em Wimpy sent you.

Dr. Gonzo Oscar Zeta Acosta sees shadow, will hide for another year

(PNS reporting from MEXICO) Famed Chicano attorney Oscar Zeta Acosta — who “disappeared without a trace” in Mexico 40 years ago — has once again seen his shadow while sitting on the wharf in San Blas, Nayarit. Now he’ll have to live a life of secret exile for another year.

Acosta, now 78, sits on a comfortable chair overlooking the Pacific every June 1. If he sees his shadow before a certain time, Acosta announces, “I have paid all my debts, I have paid all my dues and now nothing remains but the joy of madness. Another Indian gone amok.”

He made that exact announcement in a workingman’s waterfront pulque bar 10 days ago, PNS has learned.

Mas…Dr. Gonzo Oscar Zeta Acosta sees shadow, will hide for another year

Student stunned to learn blue contacts don’t make her look white

(PNS reporting from SAN ANTONIO) Marisa Rodriguez just wanted to look “fresh” for the summer.

What she didn’t want was the public humiliation from finding out the blue contact lenses she bought at the Mothers’ Day car show and swap meet at Traders’ Village didn’t actually make her look fresh, or more white.

“It happened at school when one of my classmates laughed at me when I asked him if he noticed something different about me,” the Harlandale High School junior tearfully told PNS.

“Justin is a bully, he just laughed at said I had a nopal on my forehead and that I looked lame with these blue contacts!”

Mas…Student stunned to learn blue contacts don’t make her look white

Report from Barrio Walden: Chillin’ pondside with Enrique Thoreau

IMAGINE MY SHOCK.

I was living in Massachusetts for the first time. Adjusting. The first time I saw snow falling past my Somerville apartment window, I told a woman on the phone that a neighbor was on the roof shaking out a pillow. Not many snowstorms in my desertified homeland. The first time I saw ice on the sidewalk, I thought a prankster had smeared Vaseline on the bricks to watch businessmen fall down.

This old world was all new to me. I was manhandled by quotidian revelations, wrenched by the duende of Yankee cultural hoodoo. So when I realized I could walk over to Porter Square (where the porterhouse steak was first hacked out of some Bostonian cow) and catch a commuter train to Concord, to Walden freakin’ Pond, I was off and running.

Mas…Report from Barrio Walden: Chillin’ pondside with Enrique Thoreau

Princeton Study: Majority of Mexicans don’t know how to dance salsa

(PNS reporting from PRINCETON) A study from Princeton University has confirmed what many have long believed: Mexicans, and Mexican Americans, do not actually know how to dance to salsa music.

A Caribbean Hispanic export, salsa is often included with more typically Mexican dance styles, like the quebradita or cumbia, but the truth, according to the study, is that Mexicans don’t actually know what they are doing.

“Salsa is, like, a Cuban thing. My family is from Denver,” one research subject complained.

“Participants in the study reported anxiety and cluelessness when attending quinceañeras and hearing Elvis Crespo or Celia Cruz music playing,” said cultural anthropology professor Dr. Anton Flemming, who was the lead researcher on the project.

Mas…Princeton Study: Majority of Mexicans don’t know how to dance salsa

Shocking video: Facebook updates a guy’s real life


True story! My cousin’s friend in Baltimore came back to his place after work and found out that Facebook had updated his real life! Luckily for us, he had a full sound and video crew there. Also maybe lighting and craft services.

Gustavo Arellano: Summers, I turn on my inner George Clooney

Summers are when our amigo Gustavo ¡Ask A Mexican! Arellano, editor of the OC Weekly, turns on his inner George Clooney. In a grisly yearly ritual, Gustavo entrusts me, POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz, with the opportunity to illustrate a comic relating some sad aspect of his tragic love life. He writes the comic script, but then lets me have his way with the last panel, and the results are guaranteed to entertain you and embarrass Gus!  The way he described it to me, it looks something like this…

Get Loqui! Spanglish mariachi cover of Daft Punk’s ‘Get Lucky’ (video)


No, it’s not Juan Direction. It’s Sangre Azteca playing Uruapan Mexican Son the mariachi and Spanglish-ish version of Get Lucky by Daft Punk. You can hear these guys every Friday on the radio show Despierta Exa 6 to 10 AM, probably in some Mexican time zone, on Exa FM. Their Spanglish is more like Manglish.

Here are the English lyrics so you can follow along:

Mas…Get Loqui! Spanglish mariachi cover of Daft Punk’s ‘Get Lucky’ (video)