Cultura

It’s Not News to Us

Hispanic moms: Serve Jimmy Dean® for a dubious breakfast! (video)

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¡Hola, Hispanic moms! Serving your Hispanic family a dubiously-healthy breakfast is just a button-push away with Jimmy Dean® Brand croissant, egg, sausage and cheese breakfast sandwiches. Not only are they graded F for nutrition but you can heat them in the microwave to pretend you care! Each delicious serving packs a generous 60% of the daily recommended fat allowance and that means 45% of the cholesterol quota AND 60% of the saturated fat limit.

Wait, there’s more! Each sammich features a full half ounce of protein and over a third of your daily allowance for salt. Jimmy mexplains:

CHICAGO–(EON: Enhanced Online News)–The Jimmy Dean brand (www.jimmydean.com), America’s favorite traditional breakfast sausage brand* will release a new Spanish-language TV commercial this month to promote its popular line of breakfast sandwiches to Hispanic consumers.

Mas…Hispanic moms: Serve Jimmy Dean® for a dubious breakfast! (video)

Sarah Silverman: Stand your ground – with the Black NRA (video)

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The Second Amendment is for everyone, right? Join Sarah Silverman and support everyone’s right to life, so a young black man — armed with a gun for self defense — can wear a hoodie and walk to the store for Skittles without fearing for his safety. The Black NRA: Because we all need to stand our ground!

Dear Guy Who Just Made My Burrito: Have you ever been to Earth?

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burrito

This is an epic rant by @LuckyShirt, who says he is not really THAT angry:

Have you ever been to Earth? On Earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat.

Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends.

Mas…Dear Guy Who Just Made My Burrito: Have you ever been to Earth?

Lonely local woman overshares at morning meeting

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businessmeeting(PNS reporting from HOUSTON)  Rachel Zamarripa needs a friend.

Her co-workers at Johnson-Sonora Marketing in the Skyline District know as much because of her stories about lonely weekends doing the laundry and eating Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia out of the container. Or cleaning the kitty litter.

But the Tuesday after Labor Day, Zamarripa (photo, right) crossed the line at the morning sales meeting — when everyone else was hung over and miserable — to talk about her weekend.

First she bored her co-workers explaining how she re-arranged the fridge and re-lined the kitchen cabinets — the proper way, just like her mom taught her. Then she described in detail how she went to her neighbor’s carne asada barbecue, got chorro from one of the salsas (she thought), and spent most of Labor Day on Monday between the toilet and a bottle of Gatorade.

Mas…Lonely local woman overshares at morning meeting

Pocho Ocho ways to prepare for Hispanic Heritage Month

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jesseborregoHispanics across the United Estates are giddy with excitement as they prepare to observe Hispanic Heritage Month 2013, which starts in 10 days.

But with so much excitement, it’s easy to forget the fundamentals of this Federally-established fiesta.

¡Mira! A checklist! Here are the Pocho Ocho ways to prepare for Hispanic Heritage Month:

8. Reset your calendar so months begin on 15th

7. Purchase and enjoy all 57 bean varieties from Hispanic comida conglomerate Goya

6. Grow a luxurious mustache — you too, mujeres! 

Mas…Pocho Ocho ways to prepare for Hispanic Heritage Month

Quetzal wants to make sure you watch out for the ‘MIGRA’ (video)

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Latinopia writes:

Quetzal is an East Los Angeles Chican@ band whose music reflects the social, political and cultural struggles of Latinos in the United States and Latin America. Founded in 1994 by Quetzal Flores, the group won a Grammy for their album Imaginaries in 2013. They performed their original song, “Migra,” about the plight of Mexican immigrants crossing into the United States to seek a better life, at the Levitt Pavilion in Pasadena’s Memorial Park on August 14, 2013. The lead singer of the group is Martha Gonzalez. This video was produced, is owned an copyrighted by Barrio Dog Productions, Inc. and is posted on vimeo and Latinopia.com by permission.

Breaking: New stamp honors Hispanic Heritage Month

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elborrachostamp(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, DC) The U.S. Postal Service has released a new stamp to mark Hispanic Heritage Month 2013, which begins September 15.

The El Borracho stamp kicks off the Hispanic Male series, the brainchild of Joe Sendembach, who left the Border Patrol to join the USPS as an artist and rose to Director of Creative Services.

“It honors the way us veterans of the MIGRA-Industrial Complex feel about the Hispanic male,” according to Sendembach.

“We plan other cultural stamps along these lines, including  a Drug Mule series,” Sendembach wrote in a press release distributed this morning.

POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO, INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.

Mozart-playing pasejeros invade Uruguay bus to Punta del Este (video)

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I thought it was going to be just another rainy winter day in Uruguay, another juan rides the bus, you know? We’re en route from Montevideo to Punta del Este when these “passengers” pulled out ornate steampunk-looking wooden and metal contraptions they called “instruments.” Then a viejo dressed for an earlier century gets onboard. Something about Eine Kleine Nachtmusik and Mozart, they said:

Este fue un concierto primera clase, dirigido por el Maestro Federico García Vigil, un obsequio de COT a sus pasajeros, para celebrar la inauguración de nuestra nueva flota de última generación NEOBUS N10.

But you don’t need to ride the NEOBUS N10 to love Mozart. Here’s the complete First Movement of Mozart’s A Little Night Music with a graphical score video so you can follow along:

Mas…Mozart-playing pasejeros invade Uruguay bus to Punta del Este (video)

Mirror, mirror on the wall: Who’s the baddest of them all? (photo)

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Post by Lalo Alcaraz.

Mirror, mirror on the wall — who’s the baddest of them all?

Pochos: Share your captions in the COMMENTS below:

MAS Whitewashing: Tucson OKs textbook list with NO Chicano authors

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tusdlogo640Let me tell you a joke. Ready? The Tucson Unified School District. Get it?

No? Allow me to me explain.

On Tuesday night the TUSD approved a textbook list for their now defunct Mexican-American Studies program, which they have dubbed “Culturally Relevant US History and US Government.” The list, which consists of 25 books, has absolutely ZERO Chicana/o authors on it.

Go ahead and read that again.

If you have been following the divine comedy in Tucson at all then you already know that they not only destroyed their wildly successful Mexican-American Studies program but that they also banned a laundry list of books by Chicana/o authors, closed barrio schools and fired MAS teachers.

Mas…MAS Whitewashing: Tucson OKs textbook list with NO Chicano authors

That new mammal they discovered in the Andes? Delicious! (video)

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It’s called an olinguito. Freakin delicious, too! Elise Roedenbeck reports:

Olinguito, the cute new mammal discovered in the Andes, is nature’s newest little surprise. The small creature, related to the raccoon, looks like a cross between an Ewok and a rat. However, anyone who’s ever lived in the Andes can tell you meat is meat.

Using my connections in the Andean cloud forest meat network, we decided to cook up some critter using my favorite Peruvian recipe, lomo saltado. Except the lomo in this case is mountain rat (a.k.a. olinguito).

My Shocking True Confession: Yes, I am a ‘Chipster’

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olmoschipsterI’m a textbook Chipster.

I ride a pink road bike named Rosita or a commuter folding bike, rock the thrift store combat boots with floral print dresses, listen to independent local artists like Chicano Batman, L@s Cafeter@s, eat vegan burritos, etc.

As a matter of fact, one or more of my closest companer@s can check the boxes off POCHO’s Chiptser Check-off list. It’s with this Curriculum Vitae that I am qualified to write on the Chipster question, right?

Mas…My Shocking True Confession: Yes, I am a ‘Chipster’

Latinas largest donor group for male facial hair transplants

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beardedlady(PNS reporting from BEVERLY HILLS) Facial hair transplants for men desiring sexy, just-rolled-out-of-bed beards have skyrocketed in recent years. And Los Angeles, home to many Latinos with indigenous — and thus hairless — roots, is the epicenter for the growing transplant procedure.

Fortunately for would-be burly bearded men here, there’s an ample supply of facial hair donors in the same city, according to plastic surgeon Dr. Amit Patel.

“What we’re seeing in Los Angeles is a group who wants facial hair, Latino men, and a group that has plenty of facial hair and doesn’t want it, Latinas,” he told PNS.

Mas…Latinas largest donor group for male facial hair transplants

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