Cultura

It’s Not News to Us

‘La Cucaracha’ salutes Hollywood great Lupe Ontiveros (toon)

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I drew this tribute obituary comic strip for the great actress and activist Lupe Ontiveros,  who passed away on July 26. In this strip, Vero, Eddie and Cuco send off Lupe as she appears before her Hollywood Walk of Fame star in the sky. Lupe was a one-of-a-kind soul who brought lots of joy to many.

This image was displayed at her rosary and wake.

Read more about Lupe here, and see more La Cucaracha comics at Go Comics.

Sassy cutie Armida stars in 1944’s ‘Machine Gun Mama’ (video)

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(Machine Gun Mama, 1944, 60 mins) Two Brooklyn fishes-out-of-water are south of the border when their truck breaks down on the way to deliver an elephant. (Yes. On the way to deliver an elephant. This lightweight comedy is big on gags and short on plot.) Luckily (!) they run into a roadside Mexican circus-carnival-sideshow. Homegirl cutie-pie Armida is hysterical as the sassy female circus star. Listen to her curse at the gringos in Spanish!

Who is Armida? From IMDB:

Mas…Sassy cutie Armida stars in 1944’s ‘Machine Gun Mama’ (video)

Wikipedia: Please add these Pocho Ocho ethnic slurs for Mexicans

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Can’t get no respect, not even from Wikipedia.

The online encyclopedia offers a comprehensive entry on ethnic slurs:

  • Bad names for Italians? Wikipedia is right there with Dago, Goombah, Greaseball, Guido, Guinea and Wop.
  • Wikipedia offers a shoutout to the Jews: Hymie, Kike, Mocky, Hebe and Sheeny.
  • African-Americans? Wikipedia has you covered: Coon, Crow, Boogie, Eggplant, Macacaca, Sambo and Spook.

And yet there is no listing of nasty names for Latinos in general, let alone Mexicans. No pinche respect!

So, pochos, if you’re Wikipedia editors, please note our Pocho Ocho top ethnic slurs for Mexicans:

Mas…Wikipedia: Please add these Pocho Ocho ethnic slurs for Mexicans

Nasty Nalgas Research: Stressed out guys like big butts (with videos)

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I am always so proud when humanity expands the frontiers of knowledge. Scientific American reports the result of a new study:

The team took college men and had half of them perform a stressful task unrelated to food or money which raised their cortisol levels. They then asked the stressed and unstressed men to take a look at some images of women, and rate their attractiveness. The images varied in body size, from underweight to obese. Finally, they recorded the participants own weight, height, and hunger status, as controlling variables.

The results were clear. The stressed out guys preferred a larger body size than their relaxed counterparts – but that was not all. “Men experiencing stress not only perceive a heavier female body size as maximally attractive, but also more positively perceive heavier female body sizes and have a wider range of body sizes considered physically attractive.

There may be less to this than meets the eye, according to colleague Victor Payan:

Mas…Nasty Nalgas Research: Stressed out guys like big butts (with videos)

Remake of Spanish classic, this ‘Lazarillo Z’ has zombies (trailer)

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In this remake of the 16th-Century Spanish-language novel, The Life of Lazarillo de Tormes and of His Fortunes and Adversities, we follow the adventures of young Lazarillo Z. He’s just a poor boy, from a poor family, who has to live by his wits after being sold to a series of cruel masters. In this upcoming production from Spain, everyone’s tryin’ bring the poor kid down, including zombies. And the trailer has a totally unexpected ending. (Spanish with English subtitles. Gory zombie stuff.)

Dear Abuelita: Sporting man, subway kind of love, these kids today

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Dear Abuelita,
The fourth race at Hollywood Park Friday night (mares and fillies, 5 1/2 furlongs, three-year-olds and up) appears very competitive to me, but analysis indicates I should look closely at #7 La Sancha, with 117-pound jockey V. Espinoza holding the reins. Some handicappers maintain that the predicted hot weather points to #5 Onyx Be Good with jockey A. Perez at 112 pounds; the hope is the lighter load will be easier in the heated air. Any thoughts?
A horse is a horse

Dear Exacta mente,
Who do you think I am? Charles Bukowski, or worse your pinche bookie? So you like mares and fillies with 5 1/2 furlongs. I thought waxing was the “in” thing these days.

Well, seeing how you’re looking at La Sancha, it’s safe to say you like the exotic wagers. Smart move, you can kill two ponies with a two-peso quinella and come out quite the stud. Speaking of stud, what say you meet me with your winnings at the Turf Club? Remember to dress “smart casual.” I’ll be in my fancy muumuu.

Mas…Dear Abuelita: Sporting man, subway kind of love, these kids today

The Pope’s Pocho Ocho relaxed rules for Catholics besides condoms

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Pope Benedict XVI‘s 2010 statement that condoms are OK to prevent the spread of HIV is getting new attention now that some religious institutions are fighting a mandate to offer birth control as part of employee health plans.

The Pontiff’s relaxing the rules on condoms was mostly overlooked when he made it, along with Pocho Ocho other changes in Catholic doctrine you might not be aware of:

8. Premarital sex still forbidden except on alternate side of the week Thursdays.

7. It’s now OK to refer to the Three Wise Men as the Three Wise Dudes.

6. Confession now starts with “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned but You Only Live Once.”

Mas…The Pope’s Pocho Ocho relaxed rules for Catholics besides condoms

You’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do you ‘feel locky’? (video)

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Se hacen llaves (Feeling locky): After a long day at work, Misifús Godínez just wants to go home and rest. Nevertheless, a broken key and a peculiar locksmith will stand in the way for peace. (Después de un largo día de trabajo, Misifús Godínez solo quiere llegar a su casa a descansar. Sin embargo, no contaba con que una llave rota y un cerrajero muy peculiar se interpondrán entre él y su tranquilidad.)

Documentary: ‘Zoot Suit’ knows the way to Monterey (video)

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In 2008, Monterey County education officials (Central California) mounted a massive effort to stage three separate productions of Luis Valdez’ epic play, Zoot Suit, featuring combined casts and crews of kids from all their high schools. This documentary follows the teachers, Valdez, local volunteers and student actors from planning through auditions to show time.

The next time someone complains that arts education programs are a waste of money or that teachers are ripping off taxpayers, ask them to watch this video. They probably won’t watch, but if they do, and still don’t think Monterey County did a good thing, un-friend them on Facebook. With friends like that, you don’t need enemies!

If they agree, then let’s all bailar to Lalo Guerrero’s Los Chucos Suaves!

Mas…Documentary: ‘Zoot Suit’ knows the way to Monterey (video)

Rockin’ Los Angeles Oaxacan marching band style (video)

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Click, watch and share for 91 seconds of pure musical joy! If you can, listen real loud and/or with headphones for the amazing live sound recording and KILLER tuba playing! (That’s actually a Sousaphone, a modified tuba that wraps around the player’s body and is specially-designed for marching bands.) This Oaxacan marching band heralded the opening of FIOB — Frente Indigena de Organizaciones Binacionales (Indigenous Front of Bi-national Organizations) — in downtown Los Angeles on Tuesday. Sam Quiñones shot the video and has the story, via our friends at NewsTaco.com.

  • And what about that chica on the bus bench? What is she thinking?

Dear Abuelita: WiFi bath salts, leave it to Beaver, going down

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Hey Old Lady!
Oh they think they are so friggin clever but I know what they are up to listening to me through my wifi and microwave well i have nothing to hide so neener neener Mr. and Ms. Big Brother politically correct death panel.

YOU WAN TO TAKE MY GUNNAWAY WELL HELL NO WE WONT GO. Don’t tase me bro hahah. I fought the law and law Juan. law Juan get it? Rock and roll will always die it will always be yakkity yak don’t talk back take out the papers and the trash or you dont get no steenkin cash. You have advice for me OLD LADY?

Why you smell like mota and not mocha? hahahaha.
Signed, Dada Doodoo

Dear Dodo Bird,
Que idiota! Have the drogas worn off yet? I don’t have time for your paranoid rants and raves. There are perfectly good street corners for you to stand on for spewing this kind of nonsense. Why don’t you go find one and leave me alone. Make sure you get there early before the OG vatos from Victory Outreach beat you to it. Better yet, stand on a corner opposite them and use your Mr. Microphone. I know you have one.

Mas…Dear Abuelita: WiFi bath salts, leave it to Beaver, going down

New listing: 23rd Century Aztec pychedelic pyramid hilltop estate

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Mayans and Aztecs are the new black and now it’s only $1,949,000 for the Aztec/Mayan psychedelic pyramid estate of your dreams, right here in Pocho Estates (A Gated Community.)   Here’s the listing and a mini photo gallery:

ARE YOU LOOKING FOR EXCITEMENT? Want to be transported from the Aztec Pyramids of the 16th Century, into a 23rd century architectural wonder? A monumental sculpture moves from one end of the infinity pool to the other, like Aztec steps leading to an array of futuristic marvels. As you float in this pool, youre at the top of a Mayan empire, surrounded by mountains. Its just you & nature.The first floor is 6700 square feet of openness,with a kitchen floating in the middle, awash in rich wood cabinets, and a breakfast area with four huge windows,all facing those magnificent mountains. Acid washed concrete floors link each area, interspersed with slate-wrapped pillars. Both the living area and master bedroom boast a 4-sided fireplace, wrapped in Italian tiles.

Mas…New listing: 23rd Century Aztec pychedelic pyramid hilltop estate

Confessions of a Yuppie Chicana: I talk with my hands and I love flan

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I recently read the hilariously snarky book, Confessions of a Scary Mommy by Jill Smokler, and all those confessions from real moms has inspired me to do the same.

I confess:

  • I only get “Latina” when I’m drunk or angry and it’s not pretty.
  • My drink of choice is tequila, not the Skinny Girl stuff but real Patron Silver.
  • Sometimes I Google anger management groups in my area but then I get so pissed off with our slow Internet connection that I forget all about my anger.
  • When I catch a cold I literally sweat it out by dancing to Ricky Martin in my living room.
  • I don’t know if I want any more kids. I can’t afford to go up another bra size.

    Mas…Confessions of a Yuppie Chicana: I talk with my hands and I love flan

Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah Zip-a-Dee-Guns; Hola Anaheim, We’re Havin’ Fun

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Now in the shadows of the world’s most famous amusement park residents of Anaheim are bravely (and in some cases stupidly) confronting the Anaheim Police Department, an at times callous, authoritative government power that isn’t accustomed to being questioned even when it executes people. Crisis always spurs creativity and the most original ideas are presently forming outside of the gates of Disneyland.


Art by Lalo Alcaraz, photo by Johnny Nguyen.

Eye of the beholder: A day in the life of an Eames chair (video)

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DIEZ tells the story of a molded plywood Eames chair and its journey over the course of a few days in San Francisco, a journey that starts when the chair is momentarily left in front of an upscale gallery, and an older Mexican woman takes the chair, mistaking the modern design icon for trash. This random event sets in motion the chair’s journey and surprising transformation.

DIEZ deconstructs; literally and figuratively – an Eames chair. The story illustrates in a whimsical fashion how the value of material objects can have different, but no less important, meaning to different people. DIEZ shows the many different realities that exist in the same neighborhood and the contrasting values that accompany them. Ultimately DIEZ asks the question; when divided into its DIEZ (ten) basic components, what value does an Eames chair really have?

— Filmmaker Immanuel Martin

Lupe Ontiveros (1942-2012) RIP

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Funny and talented Mexican-American actress Lupe Ontiveros passed away last night in Whittier, CA. Lupe was an accomplished actress and community activist and will be missed.

Born in El Paso, TX on Sept. 17, 1942, she appeared in numerous films and television shows, including Selena, Real Women Have Curves, Southland, Desperate Housewives, Rob, Family Guy and many more.

Always ready to crack an off-color joke, Lupe was genial and hilarious and also brutally honest about her time in Hollywood.

Mas…Lupe Ontiveros (1942-2012) RIP

Espace age bachelor Esquivel’s ‘Mucha Muchacha’ (music video)

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Tap your tootsies, snap your fingers and enjoy a cerveza with one of espace age bachelor pad musical maestro Juan Garcia Esquivel’s greatest hits: Mucha Muchacha. And whistle. You know how to whistle, don’t you?

Wikipedia:

Juan García Esquivel (January 20, 1918 – January 3, 2002) often simply known as Esquivel!, was a Mexican band leader, pianist, and composer for television and films. He is recognized today as one of the foremost exponents of a sophisticated style of largely instrumental music that combines elements of lounge music and jazz with Latin flavors. Esquivel is sometimes called “The King of Space Age Pop” and “The Busby Berkeley of Cocktail Music.” Esquivel is considered one of the foremost exponents of a style of late 1950s-early 1960s quirky instrumental pop that became known (in retrospect) as “Space Age Bachelor Pad Music”.

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