Ask A Mexican: Should Mexicans move to the South? (video)

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It’s complicated, but Gustavo ¡Ask A Mexican! Arellano considers the future of Mexican-Americans in the South and suggests it’s the new, unconquered Aztlan ripe for the Reconquista Part II. After all, paisas and good ole’ boys are the same with the horses and the whiskey and the marrying their second cousins, right? (Gustavo’s art courtesy Memo Nerricio’s Tex[t]-Mex Gallery and Steve Alvarez’ Mexington.

Taco Thursday: World’s Longest Taco Triumph? (video)

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Taqueros in Guadalajara put together a two-mile long line of tacos (de puerco) in an attempt to set a Guinness World Record, according to UPI:

…The group in Guadalajara put together the uninterrupted line of tacos using 2,645 pounds of pork.

The 9,047.24-foot-long line of tacos was constructed from ingredients from the state of Yucatan and the tasty tortilla treats were distributed to hungry onlookers after organizers collected the data they needed to submit to Guinness.

The attempt took about 6 hours.

Organizers said they are waiting to hear back from the record keeping organization.

A group in Mexico previously broke the world record for the largest flour taco in 2003 when they assembled a 35.9-foot-long taco that weighed in at 1,654 pounds.

Spanglish is no Juan E. Come Lately to California (audio)

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ranchosWhen Los Angeles was a still a little pueblo in the northern part of Mexico known as Alta California, Spanglish was born.

Public Radio International’s Global Nation explains:

…living in the a rancho just north of the pueblo was a young Scottish adventurer named Hugh Reid. In the 1830s he left the old world for the new — Mexico. And in his adopted home he was rechristened with an additional Spanish name, Perfecto Hugo Reid. Reid would eventually settle down on a ranch in southern California near the San Gabriel mission in what’s now Arcadia, a suburb of Los Angeles, where he married a local woman, Doña Victoria.

Robert Train has been obsessed with Hugo Reid’s backstory for the last few years. Train is a professor of Spanish at Sonoma State University. We met recently at the Huntington Library archives in Pasadena, to read Reid’s extremely yellowed letters.

Mas…Spanglish is no Juan E. Come Lately to California (audio)

The Pocho Ocho worst Valentine’s Day gifts evah?

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8. Candy Bra: Lets face it, dude, the gift wasn’t really for your girl — it was for your own enjoyment. If eating chalky conversation hearts is what turns you on, you might as well just give her one. Plus, you could have thrown it on her body when she was naked. Now you just wasted $14.95 instead of Brachs conversation hearts which are 99 cents.

7. Humidifer: Don’t buy shit just because it’s on sale, unless he or she has severe allergies. Do not let yourself look like a mouth breather.

6. Electric Blanket: I know, I know, I actually got this as a gift on Valentine’s Day. He explained that because he had a Jeep I should take it along when we go out. Shortly after the relationship ended, the blanket ended as well when my niece spilled her Dora the Explorer juice box all over it.

Mas…The Pocho Ocho worst Valentine’s Day gifts evah?

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: My Hot Aphrodisiac Valentine’s Day Salsa

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salsainabowlI’m Elena Maria Celina Carrillo Martinez de los Angeles Delgadillo Trujillo…Lopez. But you can call me Lencha. Today my son is in his room reading his Naruto muñequito books, so I can chare with you my special recipe for Valentime’s Day.

M’ijo don’t like it when I talk about sexy things because me and his daddy are divorce because his daddy like to stick his weene ebrywhere.

M’ijo usually checks my espelling but oh gwell. Since I have a little gwhile, I give you the recipe for Aphrodisiac Salsa.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: My Hot Aphrodisiac Valentine’s Day Salsa

Texas Senator Ted Cruz’ Pocho Ocho top legislative proposals

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tedcruzdonkeyhoteySenator Ted Cruz (R-Texas) has reintroduced legislation to take away federal benefits from same-sex married couples. But this troglodyte’s penedjitis is too advanced to stop at one stupid and hateful idea.

That’s right, there’s more — Ted Cruz’s Pocho Ocho Top Legislative Priorities for 2015:

8. Federal guidelines on subsidized school lunches for poor children shall encourage incorporation of nutritious roadkill meat, especially racoon. Now yer ‘coon is a touch on the greasy side, not sweet like ‘possum, but if you cook ’em up right, mmmmmmm, racoon!

7. Women banned from buying condoms because it curtails a Man’s Right to Reproduce.

6. Solar energy outlawed because it sucks the light right out of the Sun.

Mas…Texas Senator Ted Cruz’ Pocho Ocho top legislative proposals

The Idiot’s Guide to Smart People: ‘Sex & Relationships’ (video)

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Relationships are hard, even for smart people, and especially around Valentine’s Day, am I right? Can idiots like us get lucky in love? What if we’re dealing with smart people? Can an internet video offer the answer we’ve been looking for? Can we put another question into this paragraph? [If the words boner and/or vagina are NSFW, don’t play this video too loudly or freshen up your resume.]

PREVIOUSLY ON THE IDIOT’S GUIDE:

Mas…The Idiot’s Guide to Smart People: ‘Sex & Relationships’ (video)

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