Pocho Ocho upworthy Latino quotes Chipotle should have used

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chipotlebabyAs POCHO amigo Gustavo Arellano noted Friday, Chipotle Mexican Grill pulled a boner when it decided to put short stories from ten famous authors on its cups and bags but couldn’t find one Latino with words worthy enough to wrap its burritos.

There’s now a Facebook book group organizing around this issue and the Pochodores have been brainstorming inspirational packaging ideas as well.

First off all, short stories? Srsly? TL;DR, amiright?

Here are the Pocho Ocho more upworthy Latino quotes Chipotle should have used:

8. There’s a reason you separate the military and the police. One fights the enemies of the state, the other serves and protects the people. When the military becomes both, then the enemies of the state tend to become the people. (Commander William Adama.)

7. Repression….Recession. It’s all the same thing, man. (Cheech Marin.)

6. In a way, all of us has an El Guapo to face some day. For some, shyness might be their El Guapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo. For us, El Guapo is a big, dangerous guy who wants to kill us. But as sure as my name is Lucky Day, the people of Santa Poco can conquer their own personal El Guapo, who also happens to be the actual El Guapo. (Lucky Day.)

Mas…Pocho Ocho upworthy Latino quotes Chipotle should have used

Shoutout to the Pinoys and Yo-Yos of Califas: You’re #3 (infographic)

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otherthanenglish
Slate’s infographic mapping magic illustrates what we knew already — across most of the United Estates, Spanish is almost always the most commonly-spoken language besides English.

But after English and Spanish, what’s Numero Tres? Here in California, it’s Tagalog, first language of a quarter of all Filipinos and the second language of most. Pinoys, ruled by both Spain and the U.S., are the honorary (?) Latinos of Asia.

Tagalog? If you’ve got cooties, or play with a yo-yo, or live in the boondocks, you’re speaking Tagalog.

There are also unexpected results in Texas and Florida and New York and Illinois and…. Here’s the spoken language third place map:

Mas…Shoutout to the Pinoys and Yo-Yos of Califas: You’re #3 (infographic)

Did movie monster-maker H.R. Giger make El Chupacabra?

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HRGigerThe death this week of artist H.R. Giger — best known for the fantastic creatures he created for films like Alien and Species — has unleashed some fascinating speculation about his role in shaping other people’s realities.

Did his creations inspire the descriptions of face-to-face enounters with El Chupacabra?

Prior to 1995, chupacbras were typically described as dog-like creatures, according to one expert.  The CryptoZoooNews reports:

Mas…Did movie monster-maker H.R. Giger make El Chupacabra?

Brit paper explains how to eat nachos — the exotic ‘titans of trash food’

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nachosukNachos are exotic foreign fare in Merrye Olde Inglaterra, so you need someone to explain how they work. We think “trash food” is British for “junk food,” but these people also call cookies “biscuits” so who knows what they mean.

Anyhow, our Limey expert’s first step to acceptable nacho eating is the purchase of Doritos. Ruh roh.

Mas…Brit paper explains how to eat nachos — the exotic ‘titans of trash food’

Pocho Ocho weirdest things found in Columbus’ Santa Maria shipwreck

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colombussantamariaThe wreck of slave-trader and hopelessly-lost “explorer” Christopher Columbus’ Santa Maria flagship has been found off the coast of Haiti, according to reports.

The ship’s five-century-old cannon was looted but archaeologists are excited by eight unusual items they were able to retrieve from the ship, the Pocho Ocho weirdest items found on the Santa Maria:

8. Antique syphilis specially imported into the Western Hemisphere by his crew

7. The most extensive collection of 15th-century porn ever found outside the Vatican Library

6. A Ferdinand and Isabella “after sex selfie” oil painting

Mas…Pocho Ocho weirdest things found in Columbus’ Santa Maria shipwreck

George Jones swings ‘Boogie Woogie Mexican Boy’ (video)

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The late country music superstar George Jones wrote and sang quite a few standout songs. Boogie Woogie Mexican Boy (AKA Mexican Boogie) may not be among them. On the other hand, how many tunes do you know about a Mexican boy the girls like because he has “great big feet?” And how exactly did he cross the border into San Antone?

He was just a lad, not too old
Always lived in Mexico
And every day in the hot sunshine
He would dance and sing just to pass the time.

Dancin’, prancin’ up the street
Not even takin’ time to eat
This little boy with the great big feet
Doing the boogie with the Mexican beat.

Mas…George Jones swings ‘Boogie Woogie Mexican Boy’ (video)

Why Rep. Joe Garcia (D-Miami) picked his ear wax, ate it on TV (video)

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garcia-pick(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) A close look at a recent C-SPAN video reveals that Florida Democratic Congressman Joe Garcia, Jr. picked his ear wax and ate it on live TV, a Cuban folkloric ritual rarely seen outside Miami’s Cuban-American community.

“La Ceremonia de la Cera del Oído can be traced to a curandero who lived in Guantanamera, Cuba around 1750 or so,” University of Miami Professor of Anthropology Freso “Biff” del Blanco told PNS.

“By eating the ear wax in public, the eater hopes to symbolically ingest and consume all that he is hearing through his ears, to better understand the cacophony of voices in his head.”

Mas…Why Rep. Joe Garcia (D-Miami) picked his ear wax, ate it on TV (video)

Happy Birthday Ritchie Valens, Pocho Pride of Pacoima (music videos)

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bigritchievalensHappy birthday, dead Ritchie Valens, born this day in 1941.

Valens, from the L.A. suburb of Pacoima, was born Richard Steven Valenzuela and some consider him the father of Chicano rock.

Pocho Valens didn’t espeak Espanish, so he sang the lyrics to his biggest hit record from a phonetic cheat sheet.

And then he died.

For your Ritchie-listening pleasure, we are pleased to feature two versions of La Bamba, the original 1958 “keep the tape running” recording sessions, and then the actual hit record.

Everybody scream now:

RITCHIE!!!!

Mas…Happy Birthday Ritchie Valens, Pocho Pride of Pacoima (music videos)

Ritchie Valens birthday tribute: Cutty Flam does ‘Donna’ (video)

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Ritchie Valens, 1950s Pacoima pocho teenage idol, would have been 73 years old today, except for that day the music died. Cutty Flam, the alt.rock.band from your black-and-white-retro future, made this video tribute, performing Ritchie’s hit Donna.

It’s one of a series of Valens tribute videos, as EddieG explains:

Mas…Ritchie Valens birthday tribute: Cutty Flam does ‘Donna’ (video)

Did Puerto Rican lawyers cause rise in bed-fall fatalities?

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people-who-died-by-falling-out-of-their-bed_number-of-lawyers-in-puerto-rico(PNS reporting from CAMBRIDGE, MASS) Did you know that the more lawyers there are in Puerto Rico, the more people die from falling out of their beds?

That’s the startling statistical relationship discovered by the prestigious Harvard Law-school-based Spurious Correlations Institute, one of many recently revealed on their website.

Mas…Did Puerto Rican lawyers cause rise in bed-fall fatalities?

Authentic tacos in Seoul, South Korea – and Nutella nachos (video)

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Sweet and Tasty TV’s Professor Oh checks out the Mexican food at Vatos Urban Tacos in Seoul, South Korea. It’s puro L.A. fusion style – Korean kalbi beef tacos a la Kogi, pork carnitas and Baja-style fish tacos. Fresh guacamole and cool Coronas, too. Not to mention Nutella nachos.

PREVIOUSLY ON MEXICAN FOOD:

Mas…Authentic tacos in Seoul, South Korea – and Nutella nachos (video)

Around Our Town: Where to go, what to do on Mother’s Day

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momchurchsignBRUNCH: Nothing makes for a mellow mom like the All You Can Drink Micheladas Mother’s Day Brunch at stylish Bar Racho at the Ritchie Valens Hilton on East Olmos Boulevard.

Executive Jefe Gustaco Naranjero once again promises his extensive buffet featuring a soft and hard taco station, the always-popular Holy Habanero salsa challenge and the spectacular Flan Fountain.

New this year is the Fusion Fiesta featuring creations like the Banh Mi Burrito, the Tamales de Lox and the Philly Cheesesteak Chimichangas. Don’t miss the free giveaway of the new mini Tapatio espray bottles for when you absolutely, positively need to spice stuff up.

Mas…Around Our Town: Where to go, what to do on Mother’s Day

Mi Casa Es Tu Casa: Los Romanticos De Zacatecas (video)

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Here’s how NPR Music producer Jasmine Garsd tells the story:

For the first installment in the Mi Casa Es Tu Casa series with Fusion, a Mexican band invites Alt.Latino into its house for lively conversation and great music.

Ever since I moved to Mexico City, I’ve been overwhelmed by the amount of music at my fingertips. I’m not just talking about amazing concerts: So many artists from all over Latin America live here in Mexico, and I love being here to check in on their creative process.

Mas…Mi Casa Es Tu Casa: Los Romanticos De Zacatecas (video)

Odd Couple Brazil: He’s 5’3″, she’s 6’6″ – because love (video)

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Francinaldo da Silva, 23, is 1.6 meters tall (5’3″) and Elisany da Cruz Silva, 18, is 2 meters tall (6’6″) but the height discrepancy is no impediment to true love, at least according to this Chinese video about the newly-engaged Brazilian couple with English and Chinese captions narrated by a posh (Australian?) announcer.

Our assessment: She looks much taller than 2 meters. What do you think?

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