Penis size lie sends suitor outside to shiver in the cold

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brooklyn(PNS reporting from BROOKLYN) Bank loan officer Leticia Martinez dumped her almost boyfriend Uriel Loya and kicked him out of the house after their first full-on sexual encounter Sunday night.

“He was saying he was gonna give it to me, and that I ain’t never seen nothing like this, and all that bullshit. Ugh! So lame!” Martinez, 25, lamented to PNS.

“Why do guys always have to lie about how big their pipis are?!”

Loya, 28, an architect, was quiet after leaving Martinez’s rent-controlled apartment, shivering, pacing on the sidewalk, looking up at her window, hoping she would give him a chance to explain.

Mas…Penis size lie sends suitor outside to shiver in the cold

Lalo Alcaraz, Al Madrigal and Maria Conchita Alonso (audio)

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mariaandtequila
POCHO’s Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz and Migrant Editor Al Madrigal were on the LatinoUSA airwaves to give a partial “thumbs up” to Maria Conchita Alonso‘s foray in politics with an ad backing a Tea Party candidate for Cali governator. It’s funny, they say, and looking at her entry on IMDB, she probably needed the work. Also, Alonso’s decision to feature her Chihuahua named Tequila (photo, above), wasn’t a stereotypical thing to do at all.

Mijo, these Tenis are nice, pero solamante uso Botas

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oldhandsDear Mijo:

Muchas gracias for the regalos de mi Cumple! I thought the libros were great. Is this the book about that show on HBO con los lobos? We don’t watch HBO much porque tu Mom sees her Novelas y esa muchacha Rachel Maddow. Se enoja after watching her program. Va hacer volunteer con la guera, Wendy Davis. Dice qu no vieno a este país para que sus hijas no tenga oportunidades.

Pero, tu sabes I like leyendo better than seeing la Tele. Mijo, internet surfing counts as reading! A mi me gusta leer los periódicos en Mexico y el New York Times. Si, tambien leo el Perez Hilton. Mijo, I don’t have to be reading Enrique Krauze todo el tiempo.

Mas...Mijo, these Tenis are nice, pero solamante uso Botas

Obama’s List: Pocho Ocho things more dangerous than alchohol

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obamaweedFormer stoner Barack Obama doesn’t think marijuana “is more dangerous than alcohol,” according to The New Yorker:

“As has been well documented, I smoked pot as a kid, and I view it as a bad habit and a vice, not very different from the cigarettes that I smoked as a young person up through a big chunk of my adult life. I don’t think it is more dangerous than alcohol,” the president said.

But if mota is not more dangerous than alcohol, what is? Here are the top eight contenders:

Mas…Obama’s List: Pocho Ocho things more dangerous than alchohol

OVNI al sur de la ciudad de México/UFO south of Mexico City (videos)

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Jesus Correa was fast with his camera two weeks ago when he spotted an unidentified flying object south of Mexico City, capturing the OVNI in three separate videos in one day.

OpenMinds.TV reports:

…Correa posted the videos on January 12, 2014. He says he caught them earlier in the day. The first two videos show an object floating around the sky during the day. The object appears to be shiny and elliptical. It moves slowly, but unsteadily, as if it may be floating in the wind.

Mas…OVNI al sur de la ciudad de México/UFO south of Mexico City (videos)

America to pause Monday for Ricky Martin Luther King Jr. Day 2014

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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) America will pause Monday to remember the life and message of Ricky Martin Luther King Jr., whose Tengo a Dream y Dance! speech changed the nation forever.

Post offices and other public facilities will be closed, banks and stock exchanges take the day off and salsa picante and sweet potato pie – his favorite snack combo – are on sale all across America. Today would have been RMLK’s 34th birthday.

Despite his tragic death in 2007 (he was shot and killed by the president of his fan club before an appearance in Dallas) King’s promotion of “love, equality, justice, innocence, malice, refuge, oppression, freedom” has continued to resonate among confused Latinos and Anglos alike.

Mas…America to pause Monday for Ricky Martin Luther King Jr. Day 2014

U.S. Supreme Court votes 5-4 to change that thing, irregardless

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scotus(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) The United States Supreme Court has voted 5-4 to change that appeal thing some lower courts were dealing with earlier (you know, back and forth and shit?) no matter que chingados the people think.

POCHO will share more details as the situation develops here in Our Nation’s Capital.

Mas…U.S. Supreme Court votes 5-4 to change that thing, irregardless

Survey says? Pocho Ocho top Chipster New Year’s Resolutions

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cucahipstersTo be a Chipster (Chicano + Hipster) is not a destination, but a journey, and seekers must never rest. These are the Pocho Ocho Chipster New Year’s Resolutions our readers shared with us:

8. Despite the Indio heritage that gives me a sparse Fu Manchu facial hair configuration, I resolve to grow a Chente-strength bigote in 2014.

7. Nopalitos every day keeps the doctor away.

6. Repeat after me: Tenochtitlan, not panocha flan.

Mas…Survey says? Pocho Ocho top Chipster New Year’s Resolutions

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