When the riot squad (GATE/SWAT) went to break up a June 26 demonstration in Belo Horizonte, Brazil, one sax player provided them with live musical accompaniment, The Imperial March aka Darth Vader’s theme from Star Wars.
Here’s the original soundtrack version by John Williams and the London Symphony Orchestra:
Mas…Brazilian demonstrator provides live music for riot squad (videos)
(PNS reporting from LA PAZ) Bolivian Pres. Evo Morales is angry that the United States “racially-profiled” his jet as it was leaving a conference in Moscow and forced it to land in Austria, the whitest country in Europe.
Bolivian Foreign Minister David Choquehuanca, who was mistaken for Morales at a press conference in Vienna, said the incident last week was a clear case of racial profiling, as the first question authorities asked the pilot when they landed was, “Do you know why we pulled you over?”
Austria charged the plane matched the description of another plane that was suspected of smuggling fugitive U.S. intelligence leaker Edward Snowden out of Russia, and that its tail light was out, according to Choquehuanca.
Mas…Breaking: Bolivia says U.S. ‘racially-profiled’ Morales’ jet
These Zacatecas schoolboys take their school bus practice very seriously. And if this cautionary bus drill looks scary, think about the actual bus rides it must have been based on!
She doesn’t like the crap he’s pulling and she tells him so, but is he listening? He visualizes a cartoon story board. [NSFW dirty audio in Castillian Spanish.]
| Sostenemos como evidentes por sí mismas dichas verdades: que todos los hombres son creados iguales; que son dotados por su Creador de ciertos derechos inalienables; que entre estos están la vida, la libertad y la búsqueda de la felicidad. | We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. |
And now, with the The Star Spangled Banner, El Mariachi Kid: Sebastien de la Cruz:
Our MiJA Elise Roedenbeck aka Valderrama hits the streets of Miami to find out what your average Floridian knows about July 4, Independence Day. Special appearance by Thomas Jefferson courtesy ThreeFifthsofAPerson.info.us. You can follow Elise on the Twitter, where she is known to her minions as BUTTRONICA.
La Virgen de Guadalupe’s new Summer 2013 look — as seen on a recent cover of the Santa Fe Reporter — has gotten some people upset. Fox Latino reports:
“If your intent was to in effect slap Catholics across the face, by putting forth this public depiction of Our Lady as a party girl, during the very week that we honor her as our patroness, then I can only say that from my perspective, you succeeded,” wrote the Rev. Adam Lee Ortega y Ortiz, the rector of the Cathedral Basilica of St. Francis of Assisi in Santa Fe, in a letter to the editor. “I must voice my outrage and disgust at the decision to depict Our Lady of Guadalupe in such a demeaning manner. I am personally and professionally insulted by the cover.”
POCHO wants to confess, too! Mea culpa, Padre. We have sinned with some of our recent illustrations, like this one of the Virgin contemplating a pregnancy test:
Mas…La Virgen de Guadalupe: ‘I’m too sexy for your cover!’ (toon)
(PNS reporting from AUSTIN) The Texas Senate is set to pass legislation to ban “non-traditional” colored sneakers on the chamber floor.
Sen. Dan Ireland (R-Dallas) introduced Senate Bill 5 to “raise sartorialism of the chamber by mandating the use of traditional colors of sneakers.”
The Texas legislature has begun its second special session to push through legislation that sent thousands of Texans to the Capitol to protest last week. Ireland called these Texans the “unruly mob, whose decorum and multi-colored footwear, left much to be desired.”
SB5 “mandates that all sneakers worn shall be plain white.”
Mas…Texas Senate to ban ‘non-traditional’ colored sneakers on floor
Remember Capt. “Sully” Sullenberger who landed his airliner in New York’s Hudson River? Move over, bro. Flight AR 1304 is coming in for a landing at Parque de Palermo in downtown Buenos Aires! [Directed by Fernando Livschitz for Black Sheep Films.]
Here’s a reprise of another mind-blowing Buenos Aires vid from Livschitz we ran last year:
Mas…In Buenos Aires, look both ways before crossing the street (videos)
FIREWORKS: Mission Pocho Viejo American Legion Post 536 once again presents their Annual Fireworks Extravagonzo Thursday at sunset. This year the pyrotechnics are sponsored by the Japanese-Mexican-American-owned Mexikosher in LA’s Pico-Robertson district. The show, America Such A Country, is a tribute to new Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti who is Jewish, Mexican AND Italian! Such a country! Moms: bring your blankets and sit the kids on the grass at Sotomayor Stadium. Dads: Do NOT bring your own fireworks.
INK AND DRINK: Two businesses in the El Rancho Pocho Downtown Historical District are getting together for a patriotic combo deal that’s hard to beat. Get any flag or patriotic tat at Inky Dinky’s House of Pain on Porciuncula Place Wednesday through Sunday and Inky will slide you a $10 pre-paid bar tab for the Loco Lounge next door. And guys, if you like thick chicks, you’ll love new tattoo artist Salma’s Fernando Botero-inspired portraits of your true hyna, right over your heart.
The anti-abortion SB5 bill was delayed but not defeated after Sen. Wendy Davis’s spectacular filibuster with pink sneakers, but the battle for common sense in Texas (photo, above) continues.
We already told you about the attempt to outlaw “looking too Mexican,” but that’s not the only trick the Republicans have up their (cotton-poly-blend) sleeves.
From our Ostin Especial Correspondents — this just in — here are the GOP’s Pocho Ocho new proposals for Texas:
8. Henceforth, the value for Pi π shall, for efficiency purposes, be rounded down to 3.00; additionally only apple pi is permitted
7. SB666, dubbed the “God Is My Co-Pilot Bill,” requires a Gideon Bible in every glove compartment
6. Hug a tree, go to jail
Mas…Pocho Ocho new ignorant GOP proposals for Texas (photos, video)
Once upon a time there were two corn chips, friends. They used to play together at the school playground. One chip thought the other was not playing fair, and he told him. This is their story.
Dead Henry Gibson has a message for you on behalf on the United Appeal for the Dead: In the past year, over 800,000 Americans have died. Despite millions of dollars of research, death continues to be our nation’s number one killer.
Elise Roedenbeck and Sara Inés Calderón are happy June is over with all those damn weddings! But now the gays are back in play! What’s a modern single woman to do? [The podcast is at the bottom of this post after this list of oldies…]
Previously on the 2 Pochas Podcast:
Mas…2 Pochas Podcast: Adios, June — damn wedding bells! (audio)
This graphic shows how hackers overwhelmed the site one day last week. Those three “load” figures at the top should be close to “1.” All the “USERS” you see on Comic Seanz’s screen cap show our webserver software (Apache) trying to keep up with bullshit requests from evil hack robots.
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Can you donate $20 or $50 so we can make more ñews y satire? |
The hackers who overwhelmed our site are gone — for now. But we still need your help so we can beef up POCHO’s infrastructure. Money help.
We don’t have the money to do this stuff — without you.
Mas…Update: We made it through the hack attack but still need your help
It’s not easy standing up for women’s rights in Texas, but the heroic filibuster by State Sen. Wendy Davis kept the GOP’s anti-abortion SB5 from passing Tuesday night. Our MiJA, Elise Roedenbeck, learned how to Do the Wendy for the camera. [Disclosure: The settlement agreement approved by the judge means we must stay at least 100 yards away from Ms. Roedenbeck, but we can still remind people that she is POCHO’s New Jack City Burro Jefe, Emeritus.]
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, DC) The Senate’s approval of a bipartisan “immigration reform” bill Thursday — a bill which Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) says will create “the most militarized border since the Berlin Wall” — has defense contractors talking, and drooling.
The hot topic? The untold millions of dollars that may become available if Uncle Sam gets serious about “security.”
It’s the inevitable transition, cynics say, from Eisenhower’s old-school military-industrial complex to the new Post-Millennial MIGRA-Industrial Complex. But government contractors and suppliers have a more nuanced view.
Mas…Defense contractors on immigration bill: ‘Time to get a new Beemer’
Sara Inés Calderón, POCHO’s Subcommandanta del Ñews, gets her speed bag on. [If you click on the speaker icon in the top left corner of the Vine image, you will hear audio! It’s amazing! These kids today with the smartphones!]
PREVIOUSLY ON VINE:
Mas…‘Boxing like a boss #Latina style’ by @SaraChicaD (Vine video)
Why pay big money to get the big sound your music deserves? The new iMex iPhone or iPod dock is easy to assemble, does not need weird Ikea wrenches, and is fabricated from recyclable and easily-replaceable components available wherever Mexicans are served. Also available for Android! Sorry, Redmondites — a Windows 8 version has encountered difficulty with integration of the Clippy function, but look for a Win version in 2014.
People with roots in El Salvador may soon replace Cuban-Americans as the third-largest “Hispanic-origin group,” according to The Pew Research Center:
For more than 40 years, one rock-solid element of Hispanic demographics has been the relative ranking of the three largest Hispanic-origin groups: Mexicans have always been the largest by population, followed by Puerto Ricans and then Cubans.
But this may be changing. The Salvadoran population’s growth rate has been about double that of the Cuban population (33% versus 17%). As a result, the Salvadoran population is now poised to overtake the Cuban population in the next few years.
But what does this mean to me, you ask? Here are the Pocho Ocho things you should know about your new neighbors:
Mas…Pocho Ocho things you should know now that Salvadorans > Cubans
We were as surprised as Mrs. Madrigal, but here it is on TV, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart but really John Oliver. Al Madrigal got gay married — after all, it’s the law! [Disclosure: For probation purposes, Madrigal is POCHO’s Migrant Editor.]
(PNS reporting from SILICON VALLEY) The Internets slowed to a virtual crawl yesterday as millions of experts in Constitutional Law and The Holy Bible took to Twitter and Facebook to educate ignorant netizens about the God-hating freedom-attacking Supreme Court ruling on same-sex marriage.
“It was definitely a brownout, dude,” according to 18-year-old Jaime “Twitchy” Loftwich, who runs the worldwide computer network from the basement of his mom’s home in Palo Alto. “Hella load,” he emailed PNS. “I haven’t seen ping times like that since Kim Kardashian was rushed to Cedars-Sinai!”
Mas…Online surge of Constitutional Law, Bible experts slows the Internets
Really, people. You have to do better than filming mangy coyotes!
The REAL chupacabra, as everyone knows, looks more like this:
Mas…Worst chupacabra camera phone video ever surfaces in San Antonio
Sara Inés Calderón — @SaraChicaD on Twitter — invites you to join her for breakfast in Highland Park. Care for a cafecito and some pan dulce? No photos! [This Vine video has sound. Click on the speaker icon in the top left of the image.]
Yes, people really write Yelp reviews of border crossings. In this video, one of a series, Marsha Stephanie Blake reads Mona M.’s review of the Chula Vista Border Patrol station in San Diego.
In another border checkpoint Yelp video, Harris Doran reads Eric T.’s Yelp review of the San Ysidro border crossing in San Diego.:
Mas…Actors read Yelp reviews of US-Mexico border checkpoints (videos)
It’s Ray’s Podcast — from the Ciudad of Brotherly Love.
Mas…POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz explains himself (audio)
(PNS reporting from AUSTIN) The Texas Senate is currently considering a bill that would outlaw “looking too Mexican in public.”
Senate Bill 32 was introduced by senators from East and North Texas who say the law will celebrate American and Texas culture.
“Texas has a proud and long history of being American, or Texan, and that should be celebrated,” said Fort Worth area Republican Sen. Alice Boswell.
“It’s not like Texas was never Mexico, so why should Mexicans here be allowed to celebrate that culture?”
Mas…Texas legislators want to outlaw ‘looking too Mexican in public’
