Ñewsweek: Bronco Bama reelected, @MexicanMitt Romney concedes

by

President Bronco Bama was reelected this week despite the valiant campaign mounted by Juan Percenter @MexicanMitt Romney; the Mexi-Mormon challenger released a last-minute campaign espeech and animated music video which were very popular on POCHO but apparently didn’t help in Ohio, Florida and Pennsylvania.

POCHO’s ñews-breaking coverage included toons by Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz, election recaps and a look at what’s up next for the former first lady in waiting Ann Romney.

Cable TV star Don Cheto make a video Gangnam Style and a huge OVNI/UFO was filmed flying down into Mexico’s Popocatapetl volcano.

The links are here:

Mas…Ñewsweek: Bronco Bama reelected, @MexicanMitt Romney concedes

‘Wise Latina’ Sotomayor hangs with Big Bird’s posse (video)

by


Dressed all in black, Goth Justice Sonia Sotomayor mugs for the camera and wastes taxpayer money that could be better spent on drones, bombs and bayonets in this Sesame Street video about “careers” for girls.

In collusion with Big Bird’s socialist PBS pals, the unmarried jurist mocks the proud American tradition of Walt Disney princesses and never once mentions the proper female occupation of staying at home and cleaning the house and cooking dinner for the family.

Unashamed,  the ultra-liberal home wrecker actually tells impressionable little Muppette Abby to “get a career.”

You voted for this, people. Muppets, PBS and “Hispanics.” The line to Canada forms on the right.

Politics at the airport: It’s true – I’m a Latina and I do want stuff

by

I am on my way to Los Angeles.

My baby brother is getting married. It is going to take me close to 12 hours to get to him, courtesy of the latest storm to hit the North East, Athena.

In order to get to LA, I am having to travel from Newark to Charlotte, NC to Phoenix before landing in LA. It dawned on me, as we landed in North Carolina, that I was landing in a “red state” – something that I am only keenly aware of because of the recent presidential election – the results of which have left some people feeling raw. I digested this reality for a moment and looked forward to the almost three-hour layover here.

It’s incredible to casually people watch, something I love to do when I travel, because on the surface, we all look the same, and in airports especially, we all have similar goals – to get somewhere. Nothing much separates us from one another here.

I opened up my laptop and started to enjoy the free Wifi offered at the Charlotte Davidson International Airport. Two men sat next to me. Southern accent – which I often find endearing – enthusiastically talking about car racing. Conversation started about the most recent race one of them competed in, an upcoming three-week visit to Florida for another race, their team, their sponsors…I soon got lost in work and Twitter.

Then it happened:

Mas…Politics at the airport: It’s true – I’m a Latina and I do want stuff

@MexicanMitt Romney’s final concession espeech [complete text]

by

[EDITOR’S NOTE: @MexicanMitt Romney, the Twitter sensation, has graced us with the complete text of his concession speech upon losing to President Barack Obama. Enjoy this heart-wrenching espeech, gueyes.]

AJUA!

GREETINGS MY GUEYES!

I HAVE CALLED BLACK REAGAN AND CONCEDED THAT HE CHEATED BETTER THAN I DID. SHOUT OUT to his wife and her sister-wives.

I WANT TO THANK my running mate POLLO RYAN FOR NADA, NALGAS, EL ZILCHO.

We didn’t win his home estate of Wisconsin. He couldn’t even get us the Munsters vote, ESMALL AS THAT IS.

IF ANYONE knows where he has been for the last three weeks, PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

Mas…@MexicanMitt Romney’s final concession espeech [complete text]

Loser Mitt Romney has the sad: He’s unemployed and part of 47%

by

(PNS reporting from BOSTON) Mitt Romney woke up a broken man Wednesday morning and experienced something unimaginable: He had become part of the 47%.

“I never thought this would happen to me; my whole life has been turned upside-down,” he told PNS.

A moping Romney emerged from his down-quilted bed and silk sheets at about 7AM and wandered down to breakfast where his staff had  prepared  farm-raised, hand-fed chicken eggs with organic arugula imported from South America and water imported from France. And then he made the call he had been dreading — a call to his chauffeur, Carlos Peres.

Dejected Romney then began one of the hardest car rides in the back of a custom-made limousine of his life: to the nearest office of Massachusetts’ Department of Unemployment Assistance.

Mas…Loser Mitt Romney has the sad: He’s unemployed and part of 47%

Exclusive preview of Ann Romney’s Food Blog: The Electric Stove

by

(PNS reporting from BOSTON) With the election totally over, Ann Romney is free to pursue her true passion: cooking dinner every night for her large family and sharing Romney recipes.

Here’s exclusive preview of the Breakfast Club section of Ann’s upcoming food blog The Electric Stove:

White Toast

This is a very old family recipe dating back generations!

Little known fact: my Great Aunt Jebadisa was a leading pioneer in the Women’s Pre-Sliced White Bread Movement. When I think about the sacrifices she made, slicing each piece individually and toasting each slice by candle fire, I nearly break down and weep.

Mas…Exclusive preview of Ann Romney’s Food Blog: The Electric Stove

La Jolla cops on alert after dog shit bag trick at Romney beach house

by

(PNS reporting from LA JOLLA) Police in this pricey San Diego barrio are on alert after “an intruder or intruders” slipped onto the Romney family’s secluded beachfront property early this morning, left a flaming paper bag of what is believed to be dog shit on the front porch, rang the doorbell and fled into the fog.

The multi-million dollar home, located at 311 Dunemere Dr. has been the target of repeated protests.

Mas…La Jolla cops on alert after dog shit bag trick at Romney beach house

Mexican Mitt’s Last Espeech: I’m in it to guin it, by any beans necessary

by

MY FINAL ESPEECH TO THE NATION BEFORE I RULE OVER IT

AJUA!

Viejas and Gentlemen, voters, suppressed voters, this is my final espeech to you before I win the election tomorrow for the Presidency of the United Estates. This is the most important Presidential election of your lifetime, if you were born this year.

I know, you are RELIEVED that this long national nightmare will be finally over. I, too, am sick of the ads, the constant campaigning, having to look at my running mate what’s-his-face, but especially I am sick of Bronco Bamma.

But enough about Black Reagan. Or the country. You all want to know how this affects ME, Mexican Mitt Romney. Campaigning is hard. It’s almost like a yob, which I have not held in a long time. Despite waking up in various strange hotels with Mormon wood every day, I still miss my 14 RANCHOS. (For the language-impaired, “rancho” is Spanish for “polygamous Mormon compound.”)

Mas…Mexican Mitt’s Last Espeech: I’m in it to guin it, by any beans necessary

Ñewsweek: Halloween, Day of the Dead, Chavo del Ocho Style

by

Ghosts and skeletons and ghouls that go bump in the night?

It was a spooky ñewsweek at POCHO — the most popular entries on the site were not the newsiest.

Pochos liked this week’s entries about Halloween, Chavo del Ocho Gangnam Style, The Simpsons‘ Mr. Burns’ endorsement of Gov. Mitt Romney  and Lalo Alcaraz’s Sandy toon.

Los links:

Mas…Ñewsweek: Halloween, Day of the Dead, Chavo del Ocho Style

+ Load More Posts