Listen in as half Boricuan, half Italian and all moron talk show host Jason Matterat on New York City’s WABC 770 AM interviews “Pedro the Illegal Alien.” What do you think?
Thanks to our friends at Latino Rebels for the story and the video.
Happy July 4, fashionistas! May I see your papers, please?
(PNS reporting from ARIZONA) For fashionistas, this July 4 holiday season is less about parades and barbecues and more about flashing your passport, if you have one.
The new patriotic papers fashion flair follows the Supreme Court’s recent decision to uphold the “show me your papers” provisions of SB1070.
And now everybody wants those papers.
After the SCOTUS decision, the State Department’s passport website experienced the highest volume of traffic since Sarah Palin became the Republican Party’s nominee for Vice President in 2008.
Mas…Happy July 4, fashionistas! May I see your papers, please?
Arizona’s Sheriff Joe Arpaio launches own tequila brand
(PNS reporting from BOCADECACA, AZ) Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arapio is launching his own brand of tequila, Arpaio Viejo, he told random diners at Gallego’s Mexican Cafe here yesterday.
“I demand high standards for my office and my tequila,” Arpaio told the restaurant full of retirees from states that aren’t Arizona. “I was dissatisfied with the other options on the market, and at my favorite Mexican restaurant, so I decided to create my own.”
Arpaio’s brand will offer the traditional tequila styles of añejo, plata, and reposado — but that’s not all.
“Later in the year we introduce my super-premium line, called Arpaio Viejo 1070, aged 10 years in mesquite wood barrels in the desert, and then wrapped in pink chonies for seven more years of additional tempering. You know it’s ready to drink when you pull the cork and instead of breathing, it whimpers.” Arpaio said.
Ñewsweek: SCOTUS, SB1070, AZ, Obamacare and Mexican Mitt
GOP nominee wannabe Mexican Mitt Romney led off the chorus of this week’s reactioneers after the SCOTUS decisions on SB1070 and Obamacare. “We need to implement Labambacare for all Hispanics pronto!” he wrote in a special guest editorial.
Some Arizonans like the SB1070 decision — we have their reactions — but Chicago Congressman Luis Gutierrez ripped the decision to shreds on the floor of the House of Representatives — and we have the video.
Lots of ñews this past week on POCHO; here are our top stories:
Mas…Ñewsweek: SCOTUS, SB1070, AZ, Obamacare and Mexican Mitt
Complete ‘Hey Vato!’ NSFW existential angst of Chuy y Smiley (videos)
When we heard one of our favorite Hey Vato! episodes (The Tattoo) would be screening at the San Francisco Frozen Film Festival we knew it was time for a special Sabado Ponchonte Saturday Night Video Festival featuring EVERY episode of our favorite web series, in order, so here they are. Hey Vatos! Orale!
Mas…Complete ‘Hey Vato!’ NSFW existential angst of Chuy y Smiley (videos)
Mexican Institute of Sound’s new ‘Mexico’ video out for elections
La Chata’s Music Box presents Mexican Institute of Sound with their new video Mexico. Elections Sunday, music today. Video directed by Jonas Cuaron (brother of Alfonso of Harry Potter/Y Tu Mama Tambien fame.)
‘Dora the Explorer’ vs ‘Dora La Conquistadora’ (video shootout)
Well, really, you have to laugh at the trailer. But how does the Dora the Explorer film, starring Ariel Winter (Modern Family), stack up against Dora La Conquistadora?
Here’s La Conquistadora now:
Mas…‘Dora the Explorer’ vs ‘Dora La Conquistadora’ (video shootout)
Captain Pocho vs the Red Skull, wicked witch of the Southwest (toon)
Captain Pocho vs the Red Skull (aka Jan Brewer) Just thought I’d draw something for POCHO regarding the SB1070 ruling for this Fourth of July weekend. As a Chicano comic book nerd and artist, this is the best way for me to strike back against the Wicked Witch of the Southwest.
Gabriel Tellez Jr. is the vato behind The Misadventures of Pepito and Juan, serialized this Spring on POCHO.
Around Our Town: Where to go, what to do for July 4th
FIREWORKS: Mission Pocho Viejo American Legion Post 536 once again presents their Annual Fireworks Extravagonzo Wednesday at sunset. This year the pyrotechnics come from Zamboni Bros., new to California, with their presentation Hella Hockey Holiday – a tribute to the Estanley Cup World Champions, Los Reyes de Los Angeles. Moms: bring your blankets and sit the kids on the grass at Sotomayor Stadium. Dads: Do NOT bring your own fireworks.
INK AND DRINK: Two businesses in the El Rancho Pocho Downtown Historical District are getting together for a patriotic combo deal that’s hard to beat. Get any flag or patriotic tat at Inky Dinky’s House of Pain on Porciuncula Place Saturday through Monday and Inky will slide you a $10 pre-paid bar tab for the Loco Lounge next door. And guys, if you like thick chicks, you’ll love new tattoo artist Salma’s Fernando Botero-inspired portraits of your true hyna, right over your heart.
Apology: These POCHO comments are ham not spam
POCHO encourages live unmoderated reader comments without registration (democratic but dangerous) so we employ a robot named Akismet to help us weed out spam.
The bot’s not perfect, though. Sometimes legitimate comments get mistakenly trapped by Akismet, which uses artificial intelligence to decide if a comment is Spam (bad) or Ham (good).
Here, with our apologies, are a few comments that were mistakenly flagged as Spam:
Submitted on 2012/06/28 at 10:26 pm
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Submitted on 2012/06/28 at 9:44 pm
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Mexican Mitt Romney: Latinos need Labambacare, pronto!
This is a terrible day for illness and disease. Obamacare being upheld by those activist judges at the Supremes Court is making me sicker than the time I tried McDonald’s experimental “Birria Burger.”
Thank God it was Available for a Limited Time Only.
The Republican Party is the only party looking out for disease! Diseases are people, my friends. Especially Jan Brewer.
This ruling upholding Obamacare is wrong for Amercia, and really messes up my campaign for President. However, things are not terminal yet.
I vow on my Day Juan in office as Presidente Romney, to repeal Obamacare (AKA Romneycare) and replace it with Romneydoesntcare.
Romneydoesntcare is modeled on the health system we had before, which was, “rich people pay cash for healthcare, and everyone else can go pound pupusas.”
Latino workers leap ONTO the pages of glossy magazines *UPDATED
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UPDATE: Ramiro Gomez on NPR: 6/29/2012: Click here.
West Hollywood artist Ramiro “Jay” Gomez Jr. – the guy who inserts cardboard paintings of immigrant laborers into the real landscape of Los Angeles – also paints them onto glossy magazine photos. Meet fresh uploads Nemesio at the end of his workday and Ofelia taking a break. Gomez’s Happy Hills blog is here.
Outernational ‘We Are All Illegals Todos Somos Ilegales’ (music video)
New York band Outernational rocks the message in Spanglish with We Are All Illegals featuring Tom Morello, Chad Smith and Residente Calle 13.
Behind La Musica: Meet Tejano band ‘Los Mojados Guapos’ (video)
VH Juan takes an up close and personal look at superstar Tejano band Los Mojados Guapos in this short segment from Behind La Musica.
You too can be telepathic like Arizona SB1070-lovin’ cops! (video)
Rep. Luis Gutierrez, a Democratic congressman from Chicago, steps up to the lectern in the United States House of Representatives and teaches all of America how to be “telepathic” like the Arizona cops and politicians who somehow know – without racial profiling – who is undocumented and who is not.
A must-see video for Justin Bieber fans! In my opinion, the Honorable Representative can have a second career at The Daily Show.
Pocho Ocho worst possible summer vacation destinations
School’s out, summer’s in. Where you going for vacation? Huh? We asked you a question!
OK then. Be that way. Two can play that game. Here’s our list of the Pocho Ocho worst possible vacation destinations:
8. Community service. Were you volunteered? Court-ordered? Did your mom rope you into it? Whether it’s babysitting bratty kids at church or painting over graffiti-ed walls that will be covered in new graffiti by the next morning, there’s nothing quite like serving your community.
7. The public pool. Why such a drag? Probably because it’s about 60% chlorine and 40% other peoples’ urine. Swim away!
6. Your family’s rancho in the old country. No running water, no AC, no TP, you may not speak the language, no TV, no Internet, your relatives laugh at you behind your back — or to your face — and you have no escape until your parents come back for you.
5. Sleeping under a cactus with your tío. What? Do Mexicans not do that anymore?
In the border badlands, it’s migrants vs vigilantes, hope vs hate (video)
Gustavo Aguilar and Juan Cabrera, Mexican day laborers alone in a Twilight Zone desert, are confronted by a screaming protest against illegal immigration. Ours is a world of mirage and illusion, they remind us, and you have to believe it to see it.
Brave right-wing bloggers expose Obummer’s ‘Operation Fork & Furious’
The fearless frackers at the dead Breitbart blog (screen capture, right) are all outraged about a so-called “security action” before the President’s speech last week at the NALEO conference:
Judging from Obama’s actions at this years National Association of Latino Elected Officials (NALEO) luncheon, Obama’s newest fear is Latinos with forks. Obama had the Secret Service confiscate all the dinner forks from the participants at the June 22 event held in Orlando, Florida.
Hats off, Breitbarfers! You discovered a new conspiracy where none existed before, and you didn’t have to use deceptively-edited video to make your fake-ass point.
Mas…Brave right-wing bloggers expose Obummer’s ‘Operation Fork & Furious’
Pochas y pochos, beware! Aqua Net hairspray may cause mutations
(PNS reporting from NEW NEW YORK CITY) Attention, pochas y pochos! Interstellar starship captain and Mutants’ Rights advocate Turanga Leela is warning of serious side-effects from a popularly-priced hair care product you may be using at this very moment.
Leela thinks her late mother Munda’s use of Aqua Net hairspray is the reason she’s a loveless mutant with only one eye, and says the ingredient cyclopentasiloxane is the culprit.
“I mean the name STARTS with cyclop, how did people miss that?” she asked a press conference in New New York City Sunday (photo, above.)
Aqua Net hairspray is a must-carry purse item for every well-prepared pocha, according to a recent survey, and is used as a “bug spray, deodorant and a…substitute for glue.”
Mas…Pochas y pochos, beware! Aqua Net hairspray may cause mutations
Obama, Romney kiss brown butt in exciting panderama! (video)
Who can kiss mas butt? President Barack Obama and Gov. Mitt Romney both spoke to the National Association of Latino Elected and Appointed Officials last week in La Florida. So who won the contest of Los Panderos? The Daily Show’s Jon Stewart reports.
Random sampling of Arizonans elated by SCOTUS SB1070 ruling
Some Arizonans were elated that the U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that one key part of SB1070 is constitutional at the same time three other portions were overturned in today’s 5-3 opinion.
The part ruled constitutional requires an officer to make a reasonable attempt to determine the immigration status of a person stopped, detained or arrested if there’s reasonable suspicion that person is in the country illegally. Anything from sombreros to brown skin may allow police to inquire about one’s immigration status.
Reactions from a random sampling of Arizonans were positive and optimistic.
Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer’s bony-ass mummy finger was held high in the air upon hearing of the mixed decision: “We Kept ONE! We Kept ONE!” The aged papyrus-skinned governor declared victory: “The Supremes voided much of SB1070 but let us keep my favorite part– profiling those smooth-skinned Mexicans.”
Mas…Random sampling of Arizonans elated by SCOTUS SB1070 ruling
POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz is LA’s top editorial cartoonist
POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz won the Los Angeles Press Club’s top award yesterday (once again) for best editorial cartoon. Lalo, who photographed himself and his award with President Bartlet, tells the story and shares the cartoon on LaloAlcaraz.com. This is his sixth award from the journalism society.
Someone dissed you? Curse like a Mexican with these comebacks
The folks at Mun2.tv are back with the second part of their Curse Like A Mexican series. This time it’s how to properly deliver the comeback. The video is NSFW if people overhear it, know Spanish, and dislike cuss words. The English translations/subtitles are bleeped. The first episode is here.
Truth exposed at last! What goes on behind the white door? (video)
If you’re black, you don’t know. If you’re brown, you remain in the dark. Red or yellow? Ditto — the Secret World of White People is hidden from your view. Reporter Ed Murphy goes under cover as a white guy to find out what’s behind the white door. The moral of the story? Be kind to your web-footed friends.
Driving While Brown? Try ‘Arizona-me’ (SB1070 NSFW video) *UPDATED
UPDATED JUNE 25: Now that the Supreme Court says it’s OK for Arizona’s cops to continue their demands for “papers,” this advice video for folks contemplating a drive through the Hate State of Arizona is even more critical. From Familia del Barrio. Watch and learn!
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(MARCH 24) The U.S. Supreme Court today hears the appeal from proponents of the racist Arizona SB1070 law, which legalized racial profiling in the Hate State. Long before this vile measure was challenged by legal experts, it was spoofed by in the Mexican cartoon series Familia del Barrio.
Their animated episode Arizona-me details how the cartoon family wanted to cope with this foul attack on immigrants. Click the [CC] button for English closed captions. (NSFW language Spanish and English.)
And look below to see how their fans coped.
Mas…Driving While Brown? Try ‘Arizona-me’ (SB1070 NSFW video) *UPDATED
Pocho Ocho fascinating hidden powers of Latino food!
Previously on POCHO:
- Medical Menudo legalized in Connecticut
- Fast fun and easy aphrodisiac salsa
- Pocho Ocho reasons Mexican food is good for you
But is that the end of the fascinating food factorama? No guey! Check out these eight other hidden powers of Comida Latina:
8. You can use beans to power a moped
7. Vegetarianism is a gateway to loose American values
6. Eating a boiled duck egg fetus cures impotence
5. You can help end world hunger by eating more, mijo
Ñewsweek: Joe vs girl, Mitt vs you, Adidas steps in it, CT OKs MM
Arizona’s notorious Sheriff Joe Arpaio tried to save his flailing career with an arrest of a six-year-old cartel leader, GOP nominee wannabe Mitt Romney totally tripped over his tootsies again, the Nutmeg State joined the future for lonche with the approval of Medical Menudo (MM), Adidas stepped in it big time with their slavery-themed sneakers and Facebook gave everyone a new finger.
These POCHO stories broke the news this week. We’ve got the links and more:
Mas…Ñewsweek: Joe vs girl, Mitt vs you, Adidas steps in it, CT OKs MM