Trade publication Advertising Age’s new Hispanic Fact Pack has hit the Interwebs, revealing tantalizing details about the “Hispanic market” which means you.
And it’s packed, por supuesto, with facts:
Hot sexy salsa dancers! A party — or is it a fiesta? Hopping lowriders! Flags of many nations! Something for the kids! Did Charter/Spectrum/TimeWarner/RoadRunner miss any Latinx cliches?
We asked our favorite ad maven Bernadette Rivero what was missing and what was happening in this spot:
“Missing?” she emailed back. “An abuela kicking a soccer ball with her feet while batting a piñata with one hand and making a call to Latin America.”
POCHO is glad to welcome RentALatino to the echelons of our Premium Sponsors.
To learn how you might qualify for RentALatino‘s latest discounts and see the full message from our sponsor, read on!
We get money from ads like this when you click on them, but no amount of money is worth having this pendejo’s lies and hate on our website.
We have instructed the robots at Google’s Adsense to stop placing Trump ads on our site — just like we did with previous Sheriff Joe Arpaio ads and Governor Jan “Bruja” Brewer ads. [Note: It may take a day or two for this crap to disappear from the system.]
Blocking ads from these haters costs us money.
Can you help us make up the difference with a small donation? Click on DONATE!
Every $10, or $20, or $50 will help us make more Ñews y Satire.
MR. POCHO says thanks![/one_half][one_half_last]
There are 3 three THREE Mexicos to visit, tu sabes:
- Indian Mexico
- Spanish Mexico and
- Modern Mexico!
Advertising agency ZUBI (in Florida, of course) steps up for the minority of “Latinos” and “Hispanics” who aren’t Mexican — and people who hate tacos. Because “Latino emotions,” tu sabes, are different and require special emoji.
Wow. There is this seasoning, Cappy, and you too, Kirsten and Brooke – there is this TAJIN seasoning for your fruit AND veggies! Spicy! Salty! Lime! Totes, like, amazeballs! It adds a ZING! to everything! I wonder where they get these ideas?
PREVIOUSLY ON TAJIN:
You’re passionate, Mr. and/or Ms. Hispanic, and emotional. You like stories, and web video stories under one minute long especially. Do we have some stories for you! Also tacos, which all Hispanics love, futbol ditto, and la musica, piñatas and burros tambien. HEY! WHAT ABOUT SPICY?
By BERNADETTE RIVERO
Technically, the word I should have used above, in the headline, is “Manipulates.” As in, “Safely Manipulate Your Balls When You Celebrate!”
That’s what the Federal Drug Administration advises this season, anyway. (Screen capture, above.)
But I’m a writer who has spent a lifetime in both advertising and journalism, and I know the value of good clickbait when I have it in my hands.
Er… Line of sight. Sorry, I’m distracted by the FDA advising me to fondle one’s nether regions for Easter.
Somewhere, over the double rainbows, there’s a place on a river with tangerine trees and marmalade skies. And Honest Slogans, perfectly realized, from the Honest Slogans Tumblr.
Creator Guy Trefler writes:
Not Mine is my graduate project in Graphic Design at the HIT college in Israel. My thesis is that nothing is original, therefore, none of the materials presented in the project were made by me. All of the 469 photos used in this video were taken out of Google’s image bank.
At [insert company name here] we care about the __________, the __________ and the ___________ so you and your family can ____________ and the world _______________.
[Your mileage may vary. This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment.
Telemundo says it knows the secret to attracting the Millennial generation — so advertisers and marketeers can sell more product. (Spoiler: The secret word is 3BALL MTY.) What do you think? Is this video about you?
But wait! What does Univision have to say?
Oh, sure! Google is the best place to search and Google’s Gmail service certainly rocks and stuff but all that Googliciousness isn’t free, tu sabes. Tonight, Google comes to collect. [Video by Heather Fink.]
PREVIOUSLY ON THE GOOGLE:
(PNS reporting from UPTON ABBEY, MI) Frater Cassius the Yon was adamant.
“In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti,” he insisted in a rare English-language interview Sunday. “There is no such thing as Latin dancing, unless you mean the “dance of death” from the Black Plague. And Latin music is Gregorian chants, Enya and Necrodeath. Ain’t nobody got no time for that! Tempus fugit!”
ZOMG! They made a video about mi gente, The Latino Shopper? About how we are unique and have a special sensual way of Latino shopping? Because, after all, all Latinos are the same! That’s right, Hispanics, too! Does this video have clip art, arrows and zoomy sound effects? Perky gabacho announcer? ¡Orale! I am so there!
(PNS reporting from WAUKEGAN, IL) Erlinda Morales has wanted an MBA degree for years, but it wasn’t until a Facebook ad for the University of Phoenix popped into her newsfeed that her dream began to come true.
“All I had to do was click on the ad, fill out a form, and all of a sudden I’m in graduate school getting my Masters in Business Administration! This is the happiest day of my life!” she posted on a Facebook Status Update Sunday afternoon.
“They’re such a big deal, they have ads everywhere — not just any school would be able to advertise like that,” she bragged.
The meme started on a site called MetaFilter: If you are not paying for it, you’re not the customer; you’re the product being sold.
Facebook — free to use — sells you and your friends and your information to advertisers. So does Google and so does Yahoo! When POCHO grows up, we’ll sell your “page views” too — hopefully to multitudes of high-spending advertisers who are appropriate and cool tambien.
This week the online ad world was excited about the latest estimates of the “Latino” marketplace from Nielsen.
Our No Shit Sherlock™ quick summary:
- There are lots of Latino (Hispanic,Mexican,Chicano,Latin-American,Cuban, etc.) people
- Latinos buy many products
- Advertisers spend lots of money online, on TV, in print and over the air to get Latinos to buy their products
- The Latino “market segment” is young, mobile and growing
Peep the surprising stats illustrated by purty graphs from the Nielsen survey:
It’s no secret that Mitt “Self Deportation” Romney is not Latinos’ favorite presidential hopeful. Stephen Colbert explains the political realities and introduces a new Mitt Romney TV commercial.
POCHO has a Mexican Mitt Romney commercial too — and it’s a music video (below).
When your casting call includes skin color, people are going to think one of two things: Either you’re filming a sunblock ad or you’re a stone racist.
The New Mexico Tourism Board’s little gaffe (nicely summed up here from local news clips by the sharp folks at Cuentame) pretty much says it: Arizona Cerebral Fever – which renders bureaucrats completely tone-deaf to their own cluelessness about race – is contagious. You catch it from the pendejos next door in the Hate State of Arizona.
What’s priceless is the third-class backpedaling the spokeswoman offers – about how they’re looking for “a wide range of people” and this spot is “the first of many.”